Humor helps us deal with many difficult things in life. And though you might be a very kind and patient person most of the time, some situations and people can be so irritating, you require special measures to handle them. Sarcastic jokes can be a great help in such cases.
Dictionaries define sarcasm as the derisive use of words with the intent to mock someone or something. It might not be immediately perceivable and requires the ability to interpret what is being said. Often, the sarcastic meaning is transmitted through non-verbal means, like tone or pitch of voice. This makes such jokes very special. But don’t confuse sarcasm with rude jokes. While they’re really funny, sarcastic jokes never directly insult whoever they’re directed at.
Another pitfall with sarcasm that some people tend to ignore is that not every situation requires it. Sometimes you just have to be direct and express your feelings without any double meaning. Remember that if you want others to appreciate your funny jokes, you also have to be serious and sincere when the circumstances call for it.
History knew quite a number of famous people who could deliver some really sarcastic lines disguised as clean, appropriate jokes. Today, we often use sarcasm not only when somebody or something makes us angry but also when we need to cope with a difficult situation.
Read the collection we put together for you, and let us know in the comments what other good jokes with sarcastic undertones you know.
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Why are relationships like algebra?
Because you look at your X and wonder Y?
I just looked at her today because I felt someone staring, idk why she was glaring at me when she is the one that disappeared
In life, some days you will be the pigeon and on other days you will be the statue.
"I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without the commitment."
"Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list."
"I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
Or you could do absolutely nothing at all and still get one like some people recently.
If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.
Do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke?
When it leaves and never returns!
Why shouldn't you worry about what other people think?
Because they don't really do it very often.
What do you do when someone asks you for a small donation for a swimming pool?
You give them a glass of water.
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look s**y, so I got drunk."
"For Halloween, I'm going to be emotionally stable. No one is going to know it's me."
"I need to teach my facial expressions how to use inside their voice."
"Before I judge someone, I walk a mile in their shoes. So when I do judge them, I am a mile away and I also have their shoes."
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Howcome the first computer date back to Adam and Eve?
Because there was an Apple with a limited memory of one byte. But then everything crashed!
How do you know that light travels faster than sound?
A lot of people seem bright until they talk.
"I don't know how people can fake whole relationships. I can't even fake a hello to somebody I don't like."
If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.
"I’m pretty sure I married someone else’s soulmate. If only they’d come around and take him off my hands."
What do you do when elderly relatives tease you at weddings saying you're next?
You do the same to them at funerals!
A recent study has found that the women who carry a bit of extra weight live longer compared to the men who mention it.
Why should you stop trying if you don't succeed at first?
Because you're probably plain dumb.
"I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night."
"I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me."
"I hate it when I go to hug someone really s**y and my face smashes right into the mirror."
Why is it that everything you love is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders against you?
"When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they’re clearly on."
"Hi there, I’m human. What are you?"
"This obviously isn’t working out. I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways and start making other people miserable."
It is ironic that the colors blue, white, and red stand for freedom in the US until they start flashing right behind you!
Why is intelligence like underwear?
Because it's crucial that you have it but not mandatory that you show it off!
Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really...
"Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it since you’re not that bright."
"I would like to have kids one day. But I don't think I could put up with them any longer than that, though."
"My grief therapist died the other day. She was so good at her job that I don't even care!"
"My favorite movie is 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame.' I love it when the protagonist has a twisted back story."
"My grandmother said that I'm too dependent on technology. I called her a hypocrite and disconnected her life support."
What do you say when you see an advertisement for burial plots?
You say, "This is the last thing I need."
Donating one kidney makes you an instant hero but donating five makes everyone skeptical.
How to be a nice boss?
You tell your employees, "Don't consider me as your boss. But think of me as a friend who has the power to fire you."
"When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... it's a good thing my older brother told me about it."
One cannibal complains to another, "Man I'm having a terrible constipation lately!"
"See? I told you not to eat so many government clerks!"
"Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane."
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
"My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me."
"Your opinion is very important to me. Please stay on the line until you hear the beep for voicemail."
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face — once you shove them down the stairs, that is.
"If you see me smiling it’s, because I’m thinking of doing something bad. If you see me laughing, it’s because I already have."
"When my boyfriend's dog died, I tried to cheer him up by getting him an identical one. But he screamed at me asking what he was supposed to do with two dead dogs!"
What do you call double standards?
Burning a body at a crematorium is being respectful but doing the same at home is called destroying evidence!
"I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that."
A girl yells at her boyfriend, “That’s it, Henry, we’re through!”
“What? You want to break up? Why?”
“I’m sick of you constantly laughing at my weight!”
“Ah darling, please, don’t be like that! Come here, grab these two chairs for yourself, let’s sit down and talk it out.”
Do you think there’s no good news about having Alzheimer's?
You can buy and wrap your own surprise presents. Plus you are constantly making new friends.
Doctor: "Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years."
"But doctor, I am already 80!"
"You see - I told you to quit smoking."
"Would you like to dance? No? You must’ve misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants."
Please tell me this train of thought you’re on has a caboose.
"A recent study has found that man eats more bananas than monkeys. I anyway can't recall the last time I ate a monkey."
"Do you know why I had a bad day? My ex was run over by a bus and I got fired from my job as a bus driver!"
What do you say when people accuse you of lying?
You say, "I just write fiction with my mouth!"
Why do strong people not put others down?
Because they hoist them up and bang them onto the ground.
Have you heard they found a dead guy with his head buried in his cornflakes?
The police believed it was a cereal killer.
"The sooner I shoot you, the sooner I’ll get out of jail for it. Don’t assume that’s not a major incentive."
"My friend said that if she went off a cliff, it would be on her own accord. It's a good thing she drives a Civic!"
"I have a fish that's capable of breakdancing. But she can do it only for 30 seconds and only once!"
What did the restaurant waiter say when I asked him how they prepare the chicken?
He said, "Nothing special. We simply tell them they're going to die."
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too.
