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“They Tried To Pray Away My Deafness”: 26 Disabled People Share Their Outrageous Ableist Encounters
For many people with disabilities, navigating the world involves more than just physical or neurological challenges. It also means confronting a daily barrage of unsolicited advice, invasive questions, and shocking acts of cruelty from the able-bodied public. An online community asked disabled people to share the single rudest thing they have ever experienced.
The responses are a gut-punch. These stories are raw accounts of blatant ableism with everything from strangers trying to “pray away” a disability to having mobility aids kicked out from under them. This thread might be a little lesson in compassion for all of us.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Would anybody like to know how many times I've been prayed over because Jesus will allow me to be healed and walk....
In restaurants... By Domino's delivery people.
That and random strangers walking up and pushing.
Michael Largey 1 month ago (edited)
Apparently Jesus has to clear any healing He does with these people first.
RELATED:
#2
Someone once grabbed my head, stuck their fingers in my ears, and tried to pray away my deaf.
don't uh.... don't just grab people's head and stick your fingers in an orifice, it's weird and alarming.
#3
I'm in Canada.
I have a mobility, C-PTSD, medical alert and response service dog. As I entered Walmart 2 workers start yelling at me from the exit (which isn't close and I thought they were yelling at someone else) then a random lady near by though it was a good idea to grab me by the arm that my service dog was actively doing some Forward momentum pull (which can be dangerous for both of us). The lady then "guided" me to the workers because she thought I was blind. I was so shocked tbh.
Turns out the workers just wanted to see the proof of my service dogs training (which is part of my province laws). I showed them the program proof of training and they let me go shop in peace.
It just s***s because it caused alot of distress for me. I had a big adrenaline dump during my shopping trip which I had to go on the ground. The yelling didn't affect me as much as getting grabbed. Getting grabbed triggers my C-PTSD especially when I don't consent to be touched. I also felt called out although, I follow the service dog laws in my province to a tee. It s***s that this happens because people fake service dogs all the time. If people realized that there actions do have consequences... bringing your dog Fido to the store and pretending he's a service dog, does harm disabled people.
arthbach 1 month ago
A few days ago, I heard the following interaction between a member of staff and a blind person. "Hello, I'm a member of staff, and my name is Nathan. We've recently reorganised this section of the shop. Could I walk round with you, and I'll give you a rough idea of where things are now?" The three of them (Nathan, blind person and dog) walked off together. It was a fantastic example of how to do it right. After I'd finished shopping I asked to speak with a supervisor so I could convey my pleasure at how the situation was handled.
The stories people shared are not isolated incidents, but rather lived experiences of people who belong to the world's largest minority. According to the United Nations, more than one billion people, or roughly 15% of the global population, live with some form of disability. As Accessibly highlights, the most common types of disabilities include those affecting mobility, cognition, hearing, and vision.
A crucial point often missed by the public is that many of these disabilities are "invisible," meaning a person can be living with a serious condition without any obvious external signs. This lack of visible "proof" is often the trigger for some of the most infuriating and invasive comments shared in the thread.
#4
Disabled all my life and my mom still brings up (I’m 38)how slow I am, depending on what I’m doing and what mood she’s in ☹️.
#5
I've been knocked over during a gym class when I was young. People have ignored me when I was physically struggling with something very visibly. Some people can't understand I can't just live a "YOLO" lifestyle and become a world traveler and camp out in the woods, imply I'm lazy. Been mocked about things I can't achieve from family.
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
As my disabled brother said: Don't worry about what you can't achieve - enjoy what you can.
#6
Literally any of the invasive things that I’ve been asked. I’m blind and you wouldn’t believe some of the questions people have asked me. I had a roommate once asked me how I wipe myself after I go to the bathroom and if she would need to help me. I was like, so taken back by it! I genuinely didn’t know how to respond because why! Anytime I’ve been told I’m an inspiration for doing a basic every day task! Anytime someone has asked me if they could pray for my eyes or the times I’ve had someone tell me that if I Use essential oils or any weird remedy that they think will cure me. I once had an afterschool program counselor in elementary school not allow me to use the regular swings on the playground and instead she would always put me in the Accessible swing with a safety bar even though I knew perfectly well how to use a regular swing, she was the only person that would do this. I could keep going with the amount of things that have happened.
So, why are these rude encounters so common? Research suggests that the root cause is often not outright malice, but a deep-seated and pervasive social awkwardness. A landmark study by the UK disability charity Scope found that a staggering two-thirds of non-disabled people feel awkward around disabled people.
This discomfort leads to a range of negative behaviors, from patronizing language to outright avoidance. The same study revealed that many people are so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing that they choose to do nothing at all, which in itself is a form of exclusion. The stories of being ignored, talked over, or treated like a child are the direct result of this profound societal discomfort.
#7
"maybe you should talk to a psychologist"
...about me having normal human emotions while struggling with a physical disability.
#8
I don't have as many experiences as I'm sure others here do. However one of my disabilities causes tics(involuntary movements and sounds), and I used to be forced to attend church with my family. I was told directly by an old man in a wheelchair that I should pray whenever I felt tics coming because that would scare away the demons inside me.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
My dad had Tourette Syndrome and had the tic/twitch version. I remember when I was a kid, I wanted him to accompany my class on a day-long field trip as a chaperone parent, but he was worried that his tics would embarrass me. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it was along the lines of "Why would I be embarrassed? You're my DAD" - completely couldn't understand why he'd embarrass me because to me, the tics were just a part of him. He went with me on the field trip. No one mocked him or me. He was a fantastic dad and I still miss him to this day.
#9
Rudest are definitely the people who want to pray over me or in one case asked if she could lay hands on me to try and heal my eye.
Many of the most shocking stories are rooted in a fundamental violation of a person's dignity and autonomy. As outlined by the New Zealand government's disability support resources, a core principle of respectful interaction is to always presume competence and to recognize that a disabled person is the expert of their own life.
Unsolicited "help," prayers, or advice completely undermines this. Furthermore, it's essential to understand that mobility aids, like a wheelchair, cane, or walker, are an extension of a person's personal space. Grabbing, leaning on, or kicking them, as some stories horrifically describe, is not just rude; it is a physical violation.
#10
People are haters. My own family calls me delusional and psychosomatic. I have 17 specialists and need surgery but can’t get it without pain management. Pain management refuses to help me telling me I need psychiatry. Worst insult on every level. I’ve been bed bound and had bed sores and even urgent care refused to exam me. I’ve become so sad I’m just waiting to die now. My GP says it’s likely I’ll have a heart attack or stoke because of my chronic tachycardia and high blood pressure because of untreated intractable pain. So fun.
#11
Getting out of my car after I parked at work and having another employee stop me to ask me if I was aware that I had just parked in a disabled spot. He didn't bother to look for the tag that was hanging on my rear view mirror for all to see.
To make matters worse, I was parked at that building to go to my monthly accessibility committee meeting.
#12
“Why don’t you just go back to work full time? Don’t you want to be a productive member of society?”
Thanks Jan, but I don’t base my self worth on how valuable I am to capitalism.
Individual rudeness is often a reflection of a much larger, systemic problem: a world that is simply not designed with disabled people in mind. A report from the United Nations on accessibility in urban development highlights how physical barriers in our cities, from a lack of ramps and elevators to inaccessible public transport, are a constant, daily message that disabled people are not fully welcome in public life.
This "societal ableism" creates an environment where the needs of disabled people are treated as an afterthought or an inconvenience. The person who complains about a wheelchair "taking up too much space" is merely vocalizing the same principle that an architect applies when they design a building without a ramp.
#13
I can feel people behind me wanting me to go faster, but judging from the stories I've heard from y'all, I have been extremely fortunate I've not had any of these kooks trying to pray over me or whatnot. I would probably be polite about my refusal. At first. I don't use a wheelchair, (I use a cane), but I would probably freak out on someone if they tried to push me. And I'm loud.
The rudest person I had to deal with recently was my last boss. She equated sitting with going slowly, and there was no convincing her otherwise.
Lady Eowyn 1 month ago
I use a cane, too, and once in a bank when I was moving slowly a woman barged past me I said, politely, I was ahead of you. She said I was going so slowly she thought I was stopping to write a check. No "are you in line," just a rude attitude.
#14
I have a brain injury with a speech impairment. At the time before my shunt placement, i had a significant stutter. I was in law enforcement at the coroner's office, and the coroner was up for re-election. My chief deputy said i should have ran a radio ad to "make it look like we hire the handicapped." The secretary at the same job said that my brain injury was "b******t" and that i was "using it as an excuse for my bad behavior" because i didn't socialize enough with her at work.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Gee, I wonder why the OP didn't socialize with that secretary much.
#15
I have occational gout attacks. So I sometimes have difficulty walking. And will walk with a cheap cane I bought from some costume shop for some period (whatever works right?)
I once had a class-mate take several minutes to explain to me how stupid it looked that I had been walking around with a cane for 3 days, when I one day came to class without it.
Ok, buddy, I am sorry it offended your eyes that much, but how the f**k am I supposed to get around without it? My whole foot feels like the bones a splintering with every step I take.
arthbach 1 month ago
It's weird, but people can't seem to grasp that a person's body might work better on some days rather than on others. One day a person might need a walking stick, the next they might need nothing, or they might be using a wheelchair. It doesn't mean they are faking, just that their needs/abilities are different.
After reading these infuriating stories, the natural question is: "How can I do better?" The path forward is surprisingly simple and all about dignity. The principles are clear: always speak directly to the disabled person, not to their companion or interpreter. Use person-first language (e.g., "a person with a disability" rather than "a disabled person," unless you know their personal preference).
And, most importantly, always ask before you help. Instead of assuming what a person needs, simply ask, "Would you like some help with that?" and respect their answer if it is "no." These small acts of respect are the antidote to the dehumanizing experiences shared in these stories, fostering a culture of equality rather than one of pity or awkwardness.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of any of these bizarre and rude behaviors? Share your experiences in the comment section!
#16
When my grandma was in the hospital dying,I had a nurse push me into the hallway because I was in her way. Didn’t ask me to move or anything, just wheeled me into the hallway.
#17
The rudest comment I would get is stuff like how are you BLIND and responding to questions on the Internet or another one I would get how can a blind person have a preference when it comes to dating.
#18
I’ve been disabled all my life, since birth. Most of that time has been in a wheelchair. So I’m pretty hardened to most comments and generally just ignore them or come up with a sarcastic reply. But one incident has stuck with me and likely will all my life.
About 15 years ago my folks and I were visiting my Aunts cottage in Maine. I went out one morning to explore the area. I’m used to drawing attention when I’m in the states (I’m Canadian) as there aren’t as many people with high end power chairs. (They are pretty common in Canada as everyone can apply for funding).
I had just enjoyed the fact I could use a walkway to get my feet to the sand and was heading back to the cottage when I hear a little kid yell out, frightened…”Look mommy, a monster!” I started looking around and spotted a kid around 8-10 years old with his mom.
I was still confused and figured he maybe saw a giant bug or something. Then he said it again, at that point the mom took his hand and said “Shh, I know…just keep walking.”
It took me a second to realize that I was the “monster”. I just sat there in shock. Eventually I made my way home and by that time I was in tears.
I just couldn’t fathom being called a monster. It wasn’t even that from the kid, I mean kids don’t always understand. And even though he was bit older I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt in case he had his own issues. It was the mother’s response. Validating and confirming the child’s view and then the way she rushed them to the car, watching over her shoulder. As though even being within yards of me would contaminate them.
Still gets me to this day.
#19
Well I have my right foot amputated and a kid was joking around asking me if I wanted to have a toe counting contest. Thinking he would surely beat me but I had the last laugh because I was done at 5 and he still had 5 to go.
#20
I've had mobility aids kicked out from under me a sick amount of times. Including when I was a minor. Between all the rude comments and the fact that so many people think that this behavior is okay, I go without until I can't physically stand without them.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
My dad had to be in a wheelchair for 21 years after his accident. I would have quite literally attacked anyone who tried to shove over or otherwise mess with his wheelchair.
#21
I was a teenager, going to the grocery store with a family friend and her daughters who I was friends with. At the time I was mostly ambulatory, and used crutches. We stowed them under an accessible cart that I could sit and be pushed on since we'd be there a while. Older woman using a walker chastised me as we were leaving for not walking while everyone else was.
When I was about four, my grandmother carried me into the store for a quick stop instead of unloading my wheelchair. I got yelled at for expecting her to carry me by someone in the store.
I remember these vividly and now I'm anxious as an adult to go out anywhere.
#22
At lunch during my first year of High school, someone stole my cane from under my desk (I'm visually impaired) and decided to hide it in the library. It caused me to have an anxiety attack and yell "WHO THE F**K STOLE MY CANE?!" and this was shocking coming from the quiet kid, I RAN around the school to the library and found it under a random desk. I then went to a staff member in a panic, hyperventilating, shaking, overheating and all. They sat me down and demonstrated some breathing exercises to calm me. That was the only time in my school years (so far) that I've ever yelled. I remember them saying:
"Look at me, try to use your diaphragm, try to breathe slowly, feel it enter your lungs, and feel it slowly coming out, can you do that?"
"Hey, hey, deep breaths, look at me. In and out, you're hyperventilating. Breathe in, hold it, and breathe out. There we go, can you do that a few more times for me?"
"Look at me, deep breaths, deep breaths. You're safe, you're okay, look at me, see how I'm breathing? Can you try to copy that? Here, put your hand on your chest, and feel how calm you get when you breathe deeply, in and out. Do you feel better? Okay, here, drink some water from your bottle too, you ready to go to class now?"
I remember having to skip a small portion of gym because I was still panicking and a staff member had to calm me down.
#23
Some jarring encounters I've had:
1. Having a good day, fresh from a workout (I had finally gotten into shape and was healthy and happy), and as I was heading to one of my grad school classes, this random b***h asks if I'm ok. The first time I remember that happening, I was in high school. That's when i learned I have an obvious limp. I knew I limped sometimes, but I thought I blended in really well... apparently not.
2. A******s pushing my wheelchair (I've had one since I was 5... I know how to push myself). Also, it's really f*****g jarring to not see someone who just starts pushing you... like seriously scary.
3. The many stares and rude questions regarding my face and legs.
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
If you don't know the person, I don't think it's that big of a deal for someone to ask if they're okay. They've no idea if it's an injury, an illness or a congenital issue.
#24
Being told being fat isn’t a disability. I’m honestly not even too far over weight compared to many my height. But, the disabilities and the meds to treat them caused the weight. Not the other way around.
Being physically blocked into a parking spot because some botch didn’t bother looking at my plate when she didn’t see a handicapped placard hanging in my window.
Being shoved in my wheelchair waiting for hubs to get out of bathroom. Hubs had parked me near wall in lobby to wait for him and some dude just shoved my chair for really no reason (wasn’t blocking anything but a poster, which was unavoidable how the walls are there). Thankfully my brakes were on so I didn’t go far, but I almost fell out and onto my bad leg a week and a half post major ankle reconstruction. (I was seeing Haunted Mansion in theaters even if I had to go on a gurney! It’s my second favorite Disney Ride.)
I don’t handle it well. I have Antisocial Personality Disorder, so I’m already pretty f*****g blunt. I cuss people out on the regular.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
Steroid medication might help pain and other conditions but it sure as f**k destroys your metabolism too.
#25
1) Being told I'm rude for saying 'what the f**k is wrong with you?' in direct response to 'what's wrong with you?'.
2) 'God doesn't punish the ones he loves. That's why you have no children and you'll die alone'
3) 'Next time you faint can you at least talk to me please?! Tell me what's going on!!? I need to know if I should let work know I'm going to be late.' I can't talk d*****s, I fainted.
#26
I was leaving the hospital and i must have hit something like a rock. So i fall over and my walker, a full arable grown man no older then me (32) He walked around me then he said “sup”. If i was able body i would have told him what’s what. Unfortunately people dont take you serious yelling from the ground.
What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
The crucial point about many of these is that people need to ASK. "May I help?" can be met with a polite "No thanks, I'm fine", but just touching or moving someone because you "know best" is thoughtless. Those who think it's down to demons must be living in the 15th century - not one illness, particularly a physical disability, has ever been cured by prayer.
Ace 1 month ago
I'm still shocked when I read about those morons who think that disabilities can be prayed away. I once had a (locum) doctor ask me if I believed in god, cos surely someone was looking after me. She was removing the stitches where they'd taken out the metalwork holding my spine together, after a motorbike accident that smashed 9 vertebrae and all my ribs, with lots of internal damage. And she thought the fact that I had survived was evidence of some sort of divine intervention. 😡
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
The hubris of thinking your prayers are somehow magical and that other people's prayers just didn't work. Like people are disabled bc they don't have a close enough connection to God. It's insulting.
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Chilli 1 month ago
I'm missing my left hand. Once someone asked me what I thought of a TV character that was in a wheelchair (Idk what character, soz) and asked if I thought it was an accurate depiction of a wheelchair user. Obviously I was like "Idk, I'm not a wheelchair user, I've never even been in a wheelchair." and the guy looks at me looking completely confused, gestures to my left arm (Which has no hand) and goes "Aren't you disabled?"
Jenny Barnes 1 month ago
I use a cane when outside my house. I have a b*m knee with chronic pain, due to being hit by a car walking across the street. I have a handicap place card for my car as due to the pain I cannot walk too far. But you still need to get groceries, so off I went to the local store. I get a woman who demands, "Who did you steal that handicap tag from? you're too young to need a cane. You're faking it." she goes on and on but I just ignore her and continued into the store. She actually calls the cops on me trying to get my towed and fined.
Learner Panda 1 month ago
When I had an operation and had both feet in plaster, the only thing my school mates would do is to ask if they could borrow the crutches so they could walk up and down the corridor.
Natalie Zayas-Bazan 1 month ago
I have a birth defect and my favorite story involves a store that no longer exists. (IM Old ok? ) I was in borders in my walker and This lady comes up and asks if she can pray for me. I’m used to it so I’m like ‘yeah sure’. She actually grabs our heads and SLAMS them together na starts doing the Lord’s Prayer IN BORDERS. She lets go of my head, I say thank you cause I don’t know what else to say and run away. I’m a filmmaker though and these encounters make for great stories 🤣
Taffy Renee 1 month ago
Dang. I'm an odd ball in the disability community, too. I grew up in church and being parapelegic. Never once has anyone ever prayed over me like these people. It might be because I live in a small town and everyone knew/knows everyone?? Wonder where all these people are from: big cities or small towns. Plus, one time in college a guy grabbed my wheelchair handles and pushed me up a hill. I was a bit surprised as I was lost in my thoughts, but I didn't mind or find it offensive.
Huddo's sister 1 month ago
In my home church, I don't think anyone asked to pray over my disabled brother, but I think at some other churches we visited some did.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
The crucial point about many of these is that people need to ASK. "May I help?" can be met with a polite "No thanks, I'm fine", but just touching or moving someone because you "know best" is thoughtless. Those who think it's down to demons must be living in the 15th century - not one illness, particularly a physical disability, has ever been cured by prayer.
Ace 1 month ago
I'm still shocked when I read about those morons who think that disabilities can be prayed away. I once had a (locum) doctor ask me if I believed in god, cos surely someone was looking after me. She was removing the stitches where they'd taken out the metalwork holding my spine together, after a motorbike accident that smashed 9 vertebrae and all my ribs, with lots of internal damage. And she thought the fact that I had survived was evidence of some sort of divine intervention. 😡
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
The hubris of thinking your prayers are somehow magical and that other people's prayers just didn't work. Like people are disabled bc they don't have a close enough connection to God. It's insulting.
Load More Replies... Chilli 1 month ago
I'm missing my left hand. Once someone asked me what I thought of a TV character that was in a wheelchair (Idk what character, soz) and asked if I thought it was an accurate depiction of a wheelchair user. Obviously I was like "Idk, I'm not a wheelchair user, I've never even been in a wheelchair." and the guy looks at me looking completely confused, gestures to my left arm (Which has no hand) and goes "Aren't you disabled?"
Jenny Barnes 1 month ago
I use a cane when outside my house. I have a b*m knee with chronic pain, due to being hit by a car walking across the street. I have a handicap place card for my car as due to the pain I cannot walk too far. But you still need to get groceries, so off I went to the local store. I get a woman who demands, "Who did you steal that handicap tag from? you're too young to need a cane. You're faking it." she goes on and on but I just ignore her and continued into the store. She actually calls the cops on me trying to get my towed and fined.
Learner Panda 1 month ago
When I had an operation and had both feet in plaster, the only thing my school mates would do is to ask if they could borrow the crutches so they could walk up and down the corridor.
Natalie Zayas-Bazan 1 month ago
I have a birth defect and my favorite story involves a store that no longer exists. (IM Old ok? ) I was in borders in my walker and This lady comes up and asks if she can pray for me. I’m used to it so I’m like ‘yeah sure’. She actually grabs our heads and SLAMS them together na starts doing the Lord’s Prayer IN BORDERS. She lets go of my head, I say thank you cause I don’t know what else to say and run away. I’m a filmmaker though and these encounters make for great stories 🤣
Taffy Renee 1 month ago
Dang. I'm an odd ball in the disability community, too. I grew up in church and being parapelegic. Never once has anyone ever prayed over me like these people. It might be because I live in a small town and everyone knew/knows everyone?? Wonder where all these people are from: big cities or small towns. Plus, one time in college a guy grabbed my wheelchair handles and pushed me up a hill. I was a bit surprised as I was lost in my thoughts, but I didn't mind or find it offensive.
Huddo's sister 1 month ago
In my home church, I don't think anyone asked to pray over my disabled brother, but I think at some other churches we visited some did.
Load More Replies... 
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