Roommate Loses It After Friend Warns Her Date About HIV Diagnosis

Knowing the truth about something can be very powerful and risky, especially when those around you are unsuspecting. So what does one do in a situation when they are privy to information that could cause some serious damage?

Today’s Original Poster (OP) knew their roommate had HIV and couldn’t keep quiet when a guy showed up to spend the night with their roommate. Disclosing her status didn’t sit well with the roommate, ultimately leading to their fallout.

More info: Reddit

Sometimes, we hold the truth that could potentially save a person, but it also comes with a dilemma

Two women arguing near a window, conveying tension over HIV status disclosure affecting reputation.

Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The author’s roommate had told her that she tested positive for HIV and was going to have a guy spend the night

Roommate commented on friend's HIV status reveal to date, feeling reputation is affected by the disclosure.

Text excerpt discussing a roommate disclosing a friend's HIV status to a date.

Image credits: oneinnahunnid

Two people sitting on a couch, looking upset, discussing a serious topic related to HIV status and reputation.

Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

They tried to talk the roommate out of it and also asked her to let the guy know, but she refused, so they went ahead to tell him instead

Image of a text conversation discussing a friend being angry, relating to revealing HIV status affecting reputation.

Text screenshot discussing updates and grammatical errors, mentioning posting in a different subreddit related to a roommate dispute.

Image credits: oneinnahunnid

Netizens saw nothing wrong with what the author did, pointing out that it would have been criminal if she didn’t mention it to the guy

Comment on Reddit post, discussing roommate's reaction to revealed HIV status.

Comment discussing a roommate's reaction to revealing HIV status to a date.

Text comment discussing a situation involving revealing HIV status and friendship boundaries.

User comment on sharing HIV status, deeming it a crime not to disclose.

In an update, the roommate revealed that the guy ghosted her due to what he knew and accused the author of ruining her reputation

Text discussing a revelation about a friend's HIV status to a roommate's date, impacting her reputation.

Image credits: oneinnahunnid

Text conversation between roommates about friend revealing HIV status, damaging reputation, and causing conflict.

Chat between roommates about reputation, with one upset over a friend revealing another's HIV status to a date.

Image credits: oneinnahunnid

They apologized, but maintained that the guy had the right to know, and that she wasn’t going about it the right way

The OP’s friend announced that she was having a guy over for the night right before telling them that she recently tested positive for HIV. Naturally, the OP was concerned and tried to talk her out of it, but the friend brushed it off. They then asked her to inform the guy at the very least, but she refused to do so.

The guy then showed up while the friend was in the shower, so the OP pulled him aside to let him know the situation. He listened but stayed for dinner and also watched movies with the OP’s friend.

However, the next morning, the friend confronted them angrily, asking why they told the guy. She yelled at the OP for interfering and “ruining everything.” This left the OP feeling guilty and wondering if they did the right thing by telling the guy.

In an update by the OP, they revealed that the roommate indeed wanted nothing to do with them ever again as she felt humiliated after having her personal information disclosed.

Two women having a heated discussion in a kitchen, reflecting tension over revealed HIV status and damaged reputation.

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

To understand the motivation of the OP and to find out if she did the right thing, Bored Panda reached out to medical doctor Petrina Uukule, who has knowledge of public health and ethics. She started by explaining that since HIV has no cure, withholding one’s status is as serious as endangering another’s health, making disclosure a crucial part of responsible relationships.

“Everyone has the right to know their partner’s HIV status, and couples are encouraged to get tested together before getting intimate,” she affirmed, hinting that the OP was not wrong. She also suggested that regular testing is especially important in cases of infidelity or multiple partners, and condom use is highly recommended to prevent transmission.

Given the stigma around HIV, we asked Uukule how the outlook for individuals has changed with advancements in treatment. She explained that antiretroviral therapy (ARV) has turned HIV from a fatal condition into a manageable chronic illness. In the past, an HIV diagnosis was a death sentence, but today, she noted, “individuals can live long, healthy lives if they adhere to treatment.”

Woman in glasses using a laptop in a cozy room, representing discussion on HIV status impact on relationships.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She went further to explain that while there is still no cure, proper medical management has significantly reduced HIV-related deaths. “The key factor remains adherence,” she highlighted. Those who consistently follow their treatment plans experience much better outcomes, highlighting the importance of health education and regular medication use.

We then asked for the steps that those who are HIV positive should take to ensure their partner’s safety during intimacy, to which she responded, “For individuals living with HIV, it all starts with strict adherence to treatment.” She mentioned that antiretroviral therapy (ART) can suppress the virus to undetectable levels and significantly reduce transmission risk.

She recommended joint counseling at healthcare facilities for education and guidance. Using condoms remains essential, and medical advice should be sought when planning to conceive. “PrEP is around 90% highly effective in preventing HIV transmission when taken correctly, offering an additional layer of protection,” she added.

Netizens firmly believe that the OP did the right thing by informing the date about the roommate’s HIV status. Many emphasized that withholding such critical health information is not only unethical but also illegal.

Do you think the OP was right to step in, or should they have stayed out of it? We would love to hear your thoughts!

Netizens maintained that they were right for telling the guy

Comment discussing consequences of not disclosing HIV status in relationships.

Reddit comment discussing disclosure of HIV status and informed consent.

Reddit comment discussing HIV status disclosure and safety concerns.

Social media post about HIV status disclosure and informed consent in relationships.

Text comment on HIV status disclosure and informed decisions.

Reddit comment discussing the responsibility and ethics of revealing someone's HIV status.

Reddit post discussing laws about revealing STD status, focusing on HIV and potential consent issues.

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