50 Hilariously Relatable Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up The Human Experience

Same

I need more money and therapy

I do, but too many people don't like to hear the truth. SMH

Yes!!! listen phone etiquette is different these days. Don't leave me a voicemail unless you're a bot. I'll just assume your bot anyway. Text me. And if you want to call text to ask when is good. I literally get a pit in my stomach seeing a call. I immediately think someone died.

laughing at yourself is a whole lot better than paying for therapy

Childhood memories of me and my siblings laying down in bed when it rained hard, mostly the monsoon season back in the country, just laying there hearing the rain dropping on the roof, feeling that comfort, falling asleep, waking up and falling asleep again, happy times-happy memories

when you need sleep but the sleep dont need you 😘✌🏻 edit: why was i downvoted 😭

This is me. Can't shut me up sometimes, but out of nowhere I could disappear for months on end and just be back like nothing happened.

I can't flirt either, I interrogate men to check compatibility

Oh yes! And also when you wake up and think it must be nearly time to get up but, no, you've still got a couple of hours to snooze.

that one person who you feel safe with >>

My family probably knows the least about me

A car accident waiting to happen

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that's for you to answer, Doc

sbj

sbj

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Leaving home ruins my whole day

Or, I just want to eat my lunch in peace

You could probably make a quilt!!

Some intros just don’t help the song.

Welcome to the club

Friend: is it anxiety? Is it depression? Is it lack of coffee? Me: Yes

People who show me new podcasts are important. People who show me to books are important.

Im 14 and this is deep

Missed a spot!

I sleep a lot because I’m really good at it. In fact I’m so good I can do it with my eyes closed

I am on friendly terms with a number of my exes, but I wouldn't say we're friends...

are you talking about getting drunk again?

I can handle your overthinking any day, I just can't handle my own....

I'm on the throne, my dear. Care to join me in the bathroom?

I’m patting myself on the back because my old a**e actually can make all that out

I love it here (my bed, at midnight)

Omg is that what happened. I over healed!!

I miss the friend my ex was before we gut together

Depends on what the effort is for doesn't it?

welp, this seems to all be in order then

Same goes for Halloween. Scariest costume you can wear is the failed adult one.

yea, but it still hurts.

*See the other comment about romantic sh1t happening.

silence can be the ultimate expression of disgust

too late

Yup. Always.

Every. American. Every. Single. Moment. Of. Every. Single. Day.

Good one 👍

Yeah, that tends to be the consensus when you have been lied to most of your life...

It's for f***s sake, not f**k sakes

Think I was about 30 before I was 10. Think I'm still about 30 now I'm nearly 50. You would think by now I would have perfected being 30 right? Well, no.

There is two of this one on here. Edit: three

until I got to know you, and became a zombie

Yes but watch out for blunt force trauma. It will happen if you take to many hits

And staring at a girl’s 44s is sexist, unless she likes you.

I don’t want your attention but i end up getting it due to something stupid i did

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty…”

This summer I would leave the flat once a week to get food. If I could afford delivery, I would have stayed inside the whole summer.

i don't need you, i want you

Do other people experience dreams with others in it? I can only remember two dreams of mine where someone I actually knew was in them

When your two cats and a dog sits on your chest at midnight and almost suffocate you

They don't want you. They want you around in case plan A doesn't work out.

But i can never get to sleep because i am thinking about certain things

sheesh, kinda feel like an alien without social media

Usually for me it’s that or music, i have music going on in my head at all times

Getting out of bed is my only workout, besides brushing my hair because my hair is really thick

Same💔 why does no one around me listen to maneskin, palaye royale or conan gray🫠

what?

That'll be never, then...

w rizz 😭