24 Y.O. Woman Refuses To Move Out Of Her Shared Apartment After Her Roommate Gets Engaged, Roommate Gets Livid
Finding a flat or a house can require some effort – so many factors that might need to be taken into consideration – location, parks, shops, transportation, and, of course, the flat itself. After making a decision, and after signing the contract, if you are lucky enough to get a flat that does not need to be repaired, you can finally take the last step and move in.
However, once the moving part is finally over, you can take a well-deserved deep breath and from now on lead your day-to-day life relaxed and certain about your living place, right? Not necessarily… Unexpectedly, there might come a day when someone who did not seem to be capable of such a thing initially can, with the ease of a butterfly, threaten to just kick you out. And this might just be your lovely roommate. At least this was the experience of Redditor u/throwawayaptroommate.
More info: Reddit
While renting an apartment does come with some uncertainty, you’d probably never expect it to come from a roommate demanding that you leave
Image credits: Christian Heilmann (not the actual photo)
These two roommates were getting along until the engagement of one of them turned the relationship around
The 24-year-old had been living in her apartment for four years. During this time, she had lived with a few different roommates and she had been living with her last 32-year-old roommate for the last two years. It was all going well, both women were getting along, until the engagement of the roommate turned the relationship around.
After getting proposed to over Christmas, the roommate and her husband-to-be figured that from now on, they would need a place of their own. The way they dealt with this need, though, was to approach the Redditor and ask her if she could move out as soon as possible.
Image credits: throwawayaptroommate
The original roommate had an agreement, with her landlord and the second roommate, to take over the full rent of the apartment
The Redditor gave a few reasons why she was not in any way obligated to carry out the couple’s request. First of all, the 24-year-old had been living in the flat twice as long as her 32-year-old roommate – for four years in total.
Also, she already had an agreement with the landlord to live in the flat on her own once the roommate’s lease ends. And she had it confirmed with her roommate, as well.
However, not mentioned by the woman explicitly, there seems to be an even more fundamental argument for her not giving way to the couple’s request – she lives there and has a contract with the landlord – a change in her roommate’s preferences does not change this fact.
Image credits: throwawayaptroommate
The newly engaged roommate and her fiancé found it cheaper to take over the original roommate’s apartment
The reason given by the roommate, when she asked the Redditor to move out, was that she and her fiancé did not manage to find an apartment that they could afford, which, as noted by one of the commenters, hardly sounds like the Redditor’s problem.
Image credits: throwawayaptroommate
The second roommate cussed her out and had her fiancé and their friends harass the original roommate
After refusing to give up the apartment, the Redditor got strong emotional pressure coming her way.
Her roommate cussed her out, while also having her fiancé and their friends harass the woman about not giving up the apartment.
Even the Redditor’s mother sided with the roommate. The woman’ s (24) mother argued that the young woman should give way so the couple could save for their wedding.
She was considering the wedding, in this situation, a special need that obligates unrelated people to sacrifice their own needs for it.
Image credits: throwawayaptroommate
Image credits: freestocks.org (not the actual photo)
The vast majority of Redditors agreed – the original tenant is not the one who is being a jerk here
The post received 25K upvotes. The verdict on Reddit was quite univocal – the vast majority of commenters on Reddit expressed support for the OP, agreeing she was not the one that should be called a jerk in this situation.
She received a lot of encouragement to stand her ground and just do what is best for her, while it was emphasized by some that her roommate’s way of trying to get what she wants is very entitled.
So here is the question. Just how important can the factor of someone living in a house and actually loving it there be? Versus someone who just finds it convenient from the financial point of view and uses psychological pressure to get her way?
According to environmental psychologist Susan Clayton, for the majority of people, the place they live in is part of their identity. This is one of the reasons why, in most cases, people care so much about it.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
It might be said that the connection is reciprocal – people take care of the plants inside the house or those on their lawn, people decorate the house itself – and it allows them to have an environment where they feel good and comfortable.
However, the active approach itself – taking care of the house – helps to create a stronger connection with a place and a sense of belonging.
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I'm constantly amazed at how entitled people are. To harass the existing lessee is ridiculous. Her mother, also ridiculous.
„Saving for the wedding“ is probably the dumbest argument. How about getting their priorities Straight? If aou don’t have money for a place to live you definitely don’t have enough for a fancy party
But seriously go to the landlord and tell him what's going on. And stare that since she isn't going to be on the new lease you might have to get her evicted to get the place to yourself. The landlord should help with that as she won't be a paying tenant. And change the locks when it's time too. Or she might get nastier. You can let her know at the start of the final month she needs to be out on x day an state thst her lease is up and get the landlord to charge her fees for staying past her lease agreement. Don't leave. It's your place. She needs to be an adult and by all means file a restraint order if you are being harassed to take effect by end of her time there. And get some security cameras. Or if you decide you don't want to deal with the hassle pretend to be moving out and tell her the landlord rented to someone else and you both have to move. Then just wait with some boxes til she's gone an enjoy your solo space.
So they couple up, but with two incomes they can't find a place? *How terribly sad for them. The Mom should be ashamed for prioritizing a couple over her daughter. I hate how people cater to couples as if they are more important than anyone else. These people are such a******s, I want to harass them!
What's wrong with OP's mom?! Her daughter should move out because her roommate needs to save for her wedding? What about the daughter's future? Shouldn't she be allowed to save for her future regardless if that involves a wedding?
Don’t move because your name is on the lease you are still responsible for paying rent. Don’t ruin your credit.
I’m sorry a different appartment is more expensive so it “makes sense” that OP should be the one leaving and paying more? For whom? Imagine being so selfish you want to kick someone out that was there before you cause you don’t want privacy but don’t feel like paying for it
What a terrible mother - "Hey mom, I'm in this really s****y situation where my roommate is trying to pressure me to do something that they have no right to, and is in opposition with what we had agreed upon. She and her partner have their friends harrassing me." "Well dear, I'll take their side. Do what they want." What.The.F**k.
I'm sorry... why should she incur a higher cost of living just because they can't afford it? She made the decision to not renew the lease, clearly she made mistake but that's not at all on OP. This is a roommate, not necessarily a best friend, not at all an SO. So I see zero responsibility on OP's part to back down here. This decision was made months prior. And having people harass OP just solidifies that it's not her problem.
What is it with these entitled people that think others have to make accommodation for their life decisions? No, Just NO. Oh, and the mom is an AH for taking the other side.
They "Can't" (or Won't) find an affordable apartment but expect You Can/Will ?
No small issues before this? She just went to cussing bc she felt entitled. Nah girl nah. Go do you boo somewhere else. How rude. Sucks to lose a friend that way. Odd your mom sided w her. Has she left yet?
Everything is too expensive for dual incomes? And a party is a more important than a place to live? My guess is they probably only looked at listings for apartments with two bedrooms or something. They could literally live in a studio apartment in the meantime in order to save for the wedding if it's so important. Have people always been this entitled?
You were there first. They can't find a cheaper place so they want you to move out to somewhere more expensive. Um they have two people who can share rent. Get them the f**k out.
OP needs to inform the police and have an order for V's boyfriend and associates to keep away from the apartment.
Ordinarily, I would tell OP to move out and be done with it. But the roommate is being a PITA about this, so I think she needs to dig her heels in and stay there.
Slightly offtopic question to fellow pandas, where are you from and what is mostly the norm regarding proposals: before or after people have moved in together? I'm from the Netherlands and I think here the majority moves in together first/lives together first before marriage is considered.
No custom, per se, I don't think, but, that said, I think it is prudent to have a test run living together before making what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. FYI - German living in USA
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So the exact same person who, one breath ago, said everything is more expensive also wants a single person to move rather than two people? Got it.
I'm constantly amazed at how entitled people are. To harass the existing lessee is ridiculous. Her mother, also ridiculous.
„Saving for the wedding“ is probably the dumbest argument. How about getting their priorities Straight? If aou don’t have money for a place to live you definitely don’t have enough for a fancy party
But seriously go to the landlord and tell him what's going on. And stare that since she isn't going to be on the new lease you might have to get her evicted to get the place to yourself. The landlord should help with that as she won't be a paying tenant. And change the locks when it's time too. Or she might get nastier. You can let her know at the start of the final month she needs to be out on x day an state thst her lease is up and get the landlord to charge her fees for staying past her lease agreement. Don't leave. It's your place. She needs to be an adult and by all means file a restraint order if you are being harassed to take effect by end of her time there. And get some security cameras. Or if you decide you don't want to deal with the hassle pretend to be moving out and tell her the landlord rented to someone else and you both have to move. Then just wait with some boxes til she's gone an enjoy your solo space.
So they couple up, but with two incomes they can't find a place? *How terribly sad for them. The Mom should be ashamed for prioritizing a couple over her daughter. I hate how people cater to couples as if they are more important than anyone else. These people are such a******s, I want to harass them!
What's wrong with OP's mom?! Her daughter should move out because her roommate needs to save for her wedding? What about the daughter's future? Shouldn't she be allowed to save for her future regardless if that involves a wedding?
Don’t move because your name is on the lease you are still responsible for paying rent. Don’t ruin your credit.
I’m sorry a different appartment is more expensive so it “makes sense” that OP should be the one leaving and paying more? For whom? Imagine being so selfish you want to kick someone out that was there before you cause you don’t want privacy but don’t feel like paying for it
What a terrible mother - "Hey mom, I'm in this really s****y situation where my roommate is trying to pressure me to do something that they have no right to, and is in opposition with what we had agreed upon. She and her partner have their friends harrassing me." "Well dear, I'll take their side. Do what they want." What.The.F**k.
I'm sorry... why should she incur a higher cost of living just because they can't afford it? She made the decision to not renew the lease, clearly she made mistake but that's not at all on OP. This is a roommate, not necessarily a best friend, not at all an SO. So I see zero responsibility on OP's part to back down here. This decision was made months prior. And having people harass OP just solidifies that it's not her problem.
What is it with these entitled people that think others have to make accommodation for their life decisions? No, Just NO. Oh, and the mom is an AH for taking the other side.
They "Can't" (or Won't) find an affordable apartment but expect You Can/Will ?
No small issues before this? She just went to cussing bc she felt entitled. Nah girl nah. Go do you boo somewhere else. How rude. Sucks to lose a friend that way. Odd your mom sided w her. Has she left yet?
Everything is too expensive for dual incomes? And a party is a more important than a place to live? My guess is they probably only looked at listings for apartments with two bedrooms or something. They could literally live in a studio apartment in the meantime in order to save for the wedding if it's so important. Have people always been this entitled?
You were there first. They can't find a cheaper place so they want you to move out to somewhere more expensive. Um they have two people who can share rent. Get them the f**k out.
OP needs to inform the police and have an order for V's boyfriend and associates to keep away from the apartment.
Ordinarily, I would tell OP to move out and be done with it. But the roommate is being a PITA about this, so I think she needs to dig her heels in and stay there.
Slightly offtopic question to fellow pandas, where are you from and what is mostly the norm regarding proposals: before or after people have moved in together? I'm from the Netherlands and I think here the majority moves in together first/lives together first before marriage is considered.
No custom, per se, I don't think, but, that said, I think it is prudent to have a test run living together before making what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. FYI - German living in USA
Load More Replies... So the exact same person who, one breath ago, said everything is more expensive also wants a single person to move rather than two people? Got it.
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