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Woman Doesn’t Trust Her Marriage After Husband Becomes Adamant About Naming Their Baby After Late GF
Man in suit sitting on stairs with stressed expression, holding head in hands, reflecting on lost first girlfriend.

Woman Doesn’t Trust Her Marriage After Husband Becomes Adamant About Naming Their Baby After Late GF

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For some, grief softens with time, and for others, it lingers as a quiet presence in every chapter that follows.

Reddit user Cassievvvah thought she could make peace with her husband’s memories of his late girlfriend. Before they married, he was upfront about how much she had meant to him before she passed away.

But now, as the couple prepares to welcome their first child, that trust has been shaken. Her husband wants to name the baby after his ex, and he isn’t letting the idea go.

RELATED:

    Can you ever really move on after losing the love of your life?

    Man in suit sitting on stairs with hands on head, looking stressed over naming baby after first girlfriend and upsetting wife

    Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    This woman started to worry about how much her husband was still holding on to the past

    Text excerpt about husband losing his first girlfriend at 21 and wanting to name baby after her, upsetting wife.

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    Man upset his wife by wanting to name his baby after his first girlfriend he lost at 21 years old.

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    Upset wife sitting on bed looking away while man lies down, reflecting tension over baby name and first girlfriend.

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    Text excerpt about a man upset over naming his baby after his first girlfriend upsetting his wife, highlighting relationship conflict.

    Text showing a wife questioning her husband about upsetting her by naming their baby after his first girlfriend at 21.

    Image credits: Cassievvvah

    Turns out, a lot of people try to name their children after their exes

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    A few years ago, Instagram model Sumner Stroh alleged that she not only had an affair with Maroon 5’s vocalist Adam Levine, but that a few months later, he messaged her out of nowhere, saying his wife was pregnant.

    According to Stroh’s screenshots, Levine’s text said: “Ok serious question. I’m having another baby and if it’s [a] boy I really wanna name it Sumner. You ok with that?”

    The singer later released a statement denying the affair. “I used poor judgment in speaking with anyone other than my wife in ANY kind of flirtatious manner. I did not have an affair, nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life,” it read.

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    Levine said that “in certain instances it became inappropriate,” but that he had “addressed that and taken proactive steps to remedy this with my family.”

    Following these developments, many women tweeted, revealing that they, too, had been named after their dad’s exes, “the other woman,” or old crushes.

    Even the woman behind this story didn’t see it coming

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    Experts say couples should extensively discuss baby names as they’re getting ready to have one

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    HuffPost asked two experts to share their thoughts on the topic, and baby name consultant Taylor A. Humphrey said that it’s typically the women who are the name innovators in the relationship. Men aren’t thinking about the significance as much.

    “In my business, I’ve noticed that women tend to be more dialed into the realm of possibility when it comes to names,” she explained.

    “As connective and communal creatures, women have friends, sisters, and cousins who are having babies and are more likely to take note of what those children’s names are, giving them vast reserves of creativity when it comes to naming their own children.”

    Men, on the other hand, tend to consider what they’ve heard before, which includes who they’ve interacted with and what they’ve grown comfortable with.

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    “It’s why they’re more likely to recommend an ex’s name if they had a positive association with that person,” Humphrey said. “It’s a way of transferring their positive memories from one person onto their offspring.”

    Pamela Redmond, the CEO of baby naming site Nameberry, thinks cases like this one highlight why it’s a good idea to compile a list of names that are strictly off-limits.

    “People rule out names associated with a creepy kid from fourth grade or an unappealing literary character, so why not an ex?” Redmond said.

    “It doesn’t matter how nice the name is, I don’t think you should use an ex for a baby, period,” she added. “You may not have residual feelings, but the name still has … strong associations that are very different for both parents, and that can cause future conflicts.”

    Most of those who read the woman’s confession believe she’s not overreacting

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    Alt text: Man upset as wife refuses to name baby after his deceased girlfriend, causing tension and need for therapy support.

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    Comment discussing that children should not carry parents' feelings or be named in a way that causes discomfort or resentment.

    Some, however, think she should compromise

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a bait and switch. He's had six years to mention it, baby names were discussed before, but he waited AFTER she was pregnant to bring it up. We can all see what you're doing here, mister.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, that's the sticking point for me. He said he's always wanted to name kids after her but I'm prior discussions never mentioned anything. That's dishonest and deceiving.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's weird to name the kid after the ex, but what's bad is the way he reacted to his wife not being okay with the name. He attacked her instead of trying to come to an agreement over something both of them has to want. And then to get the sister involved and and being okay about her talking to his wife that way is a bad sign for the marriage. This guy needs serious therapy.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought the same thing. The request is weird but could probably be talked through. But him and his sister attacking OP for not being okay with it, as if SHE'S the unreasonable one would have shut all that down for me.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hubby has just basically told his wife she's the consolation prize as he can't be with the one he really wants. Dead or not, I don't think she should accept that. It's clear he hasn't got over her and certainly shouldn't have got with his wife. But as he has, he needs to show her some more respect than trying to steamroller her opinions.

    Load More Comments
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a bait and switch. He's had six years to mention it, baby names were discussed before, but he waited AFTER she was pregnant to bring it up. We can all see what you're doing here, mister.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, that's the sticking point for me. He said he's always wanted to name kids after her but I'm prior discussions never mentioned anything. That's dishonest and deceiving.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's weird to name the kid after the ex, but what's bad is the way he reacted to his wife not being okay with the name. He attacked her instead of trying to come to an agreement over something both of them has to want. And then to get the sister involved and and being okay about her talking to his wife that way is a bad sign for the marriage. This guy needs serious therapy.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought the same thing. The request is weird but could probably be talked through. But him and his sister attacking OP for not being okay with it, as if SHE'S the unreasonable one would have shut all that down for me.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hubby has just basically told his wife she's the consolation prize as he can't be with the one he really wants. Dead or not, I don't think she should accept that. It's clear he hasn't got over her and certainly shouldn't have got with his wife. But as he has, he needs to show her some more respect than trying to steamroller her opinions.

    Load More Comments
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