Woman Who Got Uninvited From Baby Shower Refuses To Deliver The Food She Made, Angers Mom-To-Be

I love that you donated it to a women and children's shelter. That's the move of someone classy and with a big heart. Not an a*****e.

A friend of my Mam thought she was going starting the menopause. Her doctor thought it likely, but ran a pregnancy test, just to rule it out. From feeling the baby, they thought she was about 6 months pregnant. She decided not to tell her own Mam about this news as her Mam was coming to visit the next week. The surprise baby had another surprise, and was there ready to meet her Granny.

One day is apparently "short notice" for getting a caterer but ample time for dumping a friend from the guess list. Einstein was right - time is relative.

Being uninvited automatically and immediately cancels any obligations one may have had towards the party (including catering). Clear and simple NTA.

Best bit is donating the food to women and childrens shelter. Amazing woman.

There are so many questions. So this MTB realizes she is highly pregnant and will be induced in 2 weeks and her first priority is a baby shower? Like for real? 2 weeks is a short time to think about your living situation, work, baby equipment, coming to terms with your radically changing life. I would never have the nerve to think about a baby shoer (where I have to explain to everybody how I didn't notice being pregnant...). And then she goes ahead and invites people who she hasn't seen for years? I would not want all the town to talk about my sudden pregnancy and also these people are not close to me. Then why did OP volunteer to cook when she was a mere aquaintance? That's a huge commitment. And then she was disinvited for "family and close friends". Why didn't MTB let those people make the food for her party? Even when OP volunteered, I wouldn't have accepted that from a person I'm not actually so close with. And then she makes food for 50 people when there are 15 present?...

I'd write this back to her, "Hey girly, I know it's late but I decided to not to bring food to your b-shower and pls don't think I don't love you but after some real hard decision (namely, you uninvited me) I had to stop making the effort but pls don't take it the wrong way I just don't want to be taken advantage of. I appreciate you for letting me know I am uninvited, specially now I know what you think of me (good enough for free food but not enough to attend). It'd be great if you can find your own catering. Like I said pls don't take it the wrong way, ily still."

Unnnnnbelievable! (I've always thought uninviting was improper to start with but) how st***d do you have to be to bite the hand that's TRYING, at her own expense, to feed you??? People at the shower only heard from her that you got your feelings hurt but even after you circulated the shots of the texts, I'm floored that some people were on her side! No need to consider her a friend any longer - she doesn't know the meaning of the word. How wonderful that you donated the food. The people who received your food appreciated it much more than the mom-to-be would have & I'm sure it was delicious. NTA

You were invited so you volunteered to help and after all that hard work and effort, they uninvited you? It's awfully nervy that they would think that you would still bring them food after they pulled that. You're completely justified in what you did .They can get their own food! The woman and her friends are AHs. You on the other hand, are a class act for donating the food to those who needed it and are definitely more worthy than people like her and her friends.

Janissary35680

Janissary35680

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Menu sounds great. And I learned a new phrase "grazing table". BP can be so educational.

Of course the friends are gonna think OP is the AH, because they have ONLY heard the lies that the mom-to-be told and don't know what actually happened. Before you start doubting yourself because other people call you the AH, ask yourself: Is is likely that they know the actual story, could it be that they were told some lies and base their opinion on that?

Either you're a guest & bring the food for free as a gift, OR you're a catering service & bring the food for a fee. MTB is one entitled lady.

Go find a good dictionary. Look up the term "entitled." There will be a picture of this MTB. Seriously Who does something this thoughtless? Once upon a time I cooked professionally, so it seems natural that I have become the cook for my friend group. For special events and holidays it is common for us to come together, most often at my house. I cook the main course and others bring their contribution. We all pitch in together to clean up. It works well for all of us. Your "friend" is no friend. She is a user and taker. As for those who defend her action are equally screwed up in their view of what being a friend means.

OP should absolutely send a group message and correct, that she didn't have her feeling hurt, but rather she was uninvited. Her gift of the food was contingent that she was invite. Invite goes away, bye-bye food.

Seems to me like she was the only one who got un-invited. Why tho?

I would have blasted the group chat with her messages & asked the group if they thought it was appropriate for the MTB to expect the person she just uninvited to drive 75 minutes (I assume each way) to bring free homemade food for a party she was uninvited to, then just leave. I also assume that OP would be expected to drive back to pick up any serving dishes & utensils & probably be expected to help cleanup.

To start with...How tacky is throwing yourself a baby shower? Showers are customarily thrown for a bride of mother to be by family or friends.

Because inquiring minds will want to know! lumpia-rec...878-1.jpeg

The woman should be glad her "friend" showed her true colors. I hope the other women take notice.

35 weeks pregnant and she had no idea? Is she like 600 lbs or something and couldn't notice the additional weight gain/stomach bulge? Jesus.

I mean, it MIGHT have been a different decision if she was only a 5 minute drive away - but a 75 minute drive - each way? The ex-friend needs to have her head read. Talk about entitled!

OMG!!!! The entitlement and audacity that people have is just staggering!!!! NTA!!! You did the right thing! It sounds like the mother to be and her 3 supporting friends are related to the current administration-completely delulu!!!!

I think from the description the guest list would be about 35 guests (GC + 15?) so it seems to me MTB can't have been in too much of a bad way. With the unexpected pregnancy a party for 35 *fam and close friends* should be the least of her concerns. Just looking for free catering. How dumb can she be?

What the actual F! There is something really wrong with that women...

If the MTB was 35 weeks gone and about to be induced due to a difficult pregnancy why the fk would she care about having a baby shower? Was she even pregnant?

This is someone with whom the OP had little contact with for a period of time. Then out of the blue this person wants to be friends again, invites OP to a baby shower that OP offers to help with. Then, when the food is ready the OP is UNINVITED??? Sounds planned to me. I would tell this witch with a "B" to eat dirt.

I'm wondering if the cryptic pregnancy was a cover story to get attention and donations. Meaning that she was pregnant but made up the 'just found out' part of the story when she moved back to her home town.

Umm, something isn't right. Even I, 63M, know women do not get their period if they are pregnant. They can get vaginal bleeding, but not an actual period. She didn't realize by week 35 (that's 8 1/2 months) that she was pregnant!!! Either she is seriously overweight, like very obese, or she is lying to get a free party. Oh, and she has an induction scheduled for 2 weeks at the 9-month mark! Gee, I wonder if after this "induction," she will claim the baby was stillborn, expect to keep all the gifts, and start hinting for a sympathy party or some such other nonsense. Nothing about this story makes sense. I wonder if it's even real.

WHAT should have been THE best move would have been bringing the food, setting up and attending. With a smile, accepting compliments, and appreciating the compliments, as they came. because...you know... they would have. AND CRUSHING THOSE BABY SHOWER GAMES! Get that blasted candle for knowing basic babe (can't say "baby") words/BS games (and CRUSHING EVERY ONE!) and then walking to your car, like a AH.

who goes 35 weeks pregnant and not know it and who has a period while pregnant ?

I'm not a very nice person, because my first thought was, deliver the food with added "ingredients". Oh no! You all went down with food poisoning? Oh dear, how sad, never mind. I suppose, as she was pregnant, you couldn't do it....but boy, so tempting.