Guy Makes An Awkward Joke About Not Wanting To Marry His Longtime Girlfriend, Ends Up Losing Her
How many times have we seen in the movies how a person communicates wonderfully for a long time with someone whom we, the viewers, suspect of being a villain – and sees nothing, yet even dates them, and only then, this hidden scoundrel, in the end, makes a minor mistake and gets exposed?
Just admit it, did you also think that this was a movie cliche? That’s what I thought, but it turns out – no. It turns out that this happens in real life as well, and more often than one might think. Another piece of evidence is this eye-opening story from the user u/OnlyMeasurement3247, which we bring to your attention today.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has been dating her boyfriend for 8 years but they never wanted to marry
Image credits: Trinity Kubassek (not the actual photo)
The woman admits that they were just pleased with how things were going – and nothing more
Image credits: OnlyMeasurement3247
One day the couple were at a massive party and the folks around started questioning them about the wedding
Image credits: Trung Nguyen (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OnlyMeasurement3247
The woman just tried to laugh it off, but then the guy intervened with a crass ‘joke’ which insulted the woman
Image credits: Nadin Sh (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OnlyMeasurement3247
So the woman started thinking over whether this relationship was the one she had dreamed about – and she wasn’t happy with the conclusions
The Original Poster (OP) is a 44-year-old woman, mother of two, who has been dating her boyfriend for 8 years. According to the author of the post, when she and this man began their relationship, she was a widow, and he helped her feel the taste for life again. However, the couple had their ups and downs – for example, the boyfriend was never able to get along with her kids.
However, now the children have grown up, gone to college, and the partners live quietly in a small town of about 2K inhabitants, where everyone, of course, knows everyone very well. The man and woman were quite happy with the relationship they had and, as the OP says, didn’t actually plan to tie the knot. But one incident changed everything…
At one massive party, guests started asking the OP and her partner when they would finally get married. They tried to laugh it off, but the people around them were persistent. The author then stated that if she and her boyfriend ever decide to get married, their friends will be the first to know about it. And at that moment the guy intervened in the conversation.
To be honest, I don’t know what was going through this dude’s head at the time, but he said something like if the original poster ever found a decent man who wanted to marry her, he wouldn’t stop them. Need I say that the woman was literally blindsided by these words? The OP broke into tears and her partner tried to make it a joke.
Well, time passed, but the author still couldn’t get these words out of her head. One fine day, when the couple and their friends were sitting in a restaurant, an old acquaintance approached the OP, and in the presence of the author’s boyfriend, directly said that if she ever “wants a serious relationship,” then he is always ready. This time it was the OP who laughed it off, and her partner went mad over these words, claiming that she did not take their relationship seriously.
Returning home, the man continued to be indignant, and the original poster reasonably said that she was not the first to question the status of their relationship, so if the man has anyone to blame for the current situation, then it’s himself.
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
Well, the reaction of people in the comments was not long in coming, and this reaction definitely wouldn’t have pleased the OP’s boyfriend. How about this, for example: “That’s hilarious. Your boyfriend acted like a prize [jerk] and now he’s upset over the fallout,” someone wrote angrily. “He’s shown he’s plenty capable of bragging about how he’d never marry you, so let him deal with the reactions.”
Yes, the man’s behavior was subject to crushing criticism from commenters, and there were no excuses for him. “Your boyfriend’s behavior at the party was crass and uncalled for. Apparently he lacks the basic social skill and cognition to understand that you were giving a canned polite response to close the uncomfortable topic and move on to other topics,” another netizen responded.
“Unfortunately, many people really don’t watch their words, or try to make jokes where they absolutely shouldn’t,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment over this case. “It’s quite obvious that the woman here tried to move the conversation as diplomatically as possible, but the man’s rude ‘pseudo-frankness’ ruined everything.”
“By the way, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the woman’s boyfriend actually starts processes that are very unpleasant for himself with this situation. At least, he has already given his partner a good reason to think – how valuable is this relationship for him and for her? Based on my professional experience, I can say that such thoughts often lead to very unpredictable consequences,” Irina summarizes.
Bingo! Yes, exactly. In later comments, the original poster admitted that one day, while the man was at work, she simply packed all her belongings and left. The now-ex-boyfriend was, of course, simply overwhelmed by what happened – after all, in his own opinion, their relationship was and remained completely cloudless.
However, the original poster had already decided to move on. “I still have feelings for him but it wasn’t nearly as painful as I expected it to be,” the author wrote in the update post. Yes, it happens, so let’s just wish this woman good luck on her way. And, of course, please feel free to share your viewpoints on this case in the comments below.
Most commenters just bashed the author’s boyfriend for being rude and disrespectful – but it turns out that this situation actually cost him the relationship
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Theres a huge difference between "not wanting to get married" and "I couldnt care less about you leaving". After 8 years, that's just cold-hearted
You said it perfectly. They want a casual relationship, that's perfectly fine. But this callousness is something else. But she's just as bad if you read her comments. They're both cynical about relationships and unwilling to see different viewpoints on this, right up to the point were they react condescending when even the idea of a close relationship is brought up. Both feel how painful that is, but only as long as they're on the receiving end, as long as the other gets humiliated, they're both fine with that. I wonder why they're even together, and I can just shake my head on how unemphatic they both are for each other. He makes her cry and sees no problem, she stands by while he gets called out and says nothing to clear things up. She could have at least said, hey, were both in on this no marriage thing. But as it seems, they're not even friends with benefits, they're just benefits without any commitments.
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It makes me kind of sad that when OP was asked in a comment, "Why are you even dating this guy?" - The first thing she said in her answer was "He doesn't hit me or yell at me". That... I just... the fact that someone doesn't hit or yell at you should NOT be the #1 reason why you're dating them. NO ONE should hit or yell at someone they're dating (in a perfect world, I know.) It still just makes me sad that her answer was firstly "He's never hit me", because I've said that about why I'm still with MY boyfriend of 23 years and... guess what? I'm still not happy, even though he doesn't hit me.
This is really sad..if she keeps going on in this relationship just because of that...
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Theres a huge difference between "not wanting to get married" and "I couldnt care less about you leaving". After 8 years, that's just cold-hearted
You said it perfectly. They want a casual relationship, that's perfectly fine. But this callousness is something else. But she's just as bad if you read her comments. They're both cynical about relationships and unwilling to see different viewpoints on this, right up to the point were they react condescending when even the idea of a close relationship is brought up. Both feel how painful that is, but only as long as they're on the receiving end, as long as the other gets humiliated, they're both fine with that. I wonder why they're even together, and I can just shake my head on how unemphatic they both are for each other. He makes her cry and sees no problem, she stands by while he gets called out and says nothing to clear things up. She could have at least said, hey, were both in on this no marriage thing. But as it seems, they're not even friends with benefits, they're just benefits without any commitments.
Load More Replies... It makes me kind of sad that when OP was asked in a comment, "Why are you even dating this guy?" - The first thing she said in her answer was "He doesn't hit me or yell at me". That... I just... the fact that someone doesn't hit or yell at you should NOT be the #1 reason why you're dating them. NO ONE should hit or yell at someone they're dating (in a perfect world, I know.) It still just makes me sad that her answer was firstly "He's never hit me", because I've said that about why I'm still with MY boyfriend of 23 years and... guess what? I'm still not happy, even though he doesn't hit me.
This is really sad..if she keeps going on in this relationship just because of that...
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