Woman Inherits Her Grandmother’s Jewelry And Refuses To Let Her SIL Have It
While it is often expected for the inheritance to be spread equally between siblings, there naturally are some exceptions to the rule, depending on various factors. This Redditor shared her story of being raised by her grandparents since she was a few months old, and while their father left a lot to her brother, the woman got pretty much nothing.
The situation was reversed when it came to inheritance from their grandparents. The woman asked online if she was right to not share her grandmother’s heirloom jewelry with her brother.
More info: Reddit
A woman inherited most of her grandparent’s things, but her half-brother asked her to pass certain jewelry to him
Image credits: Taisuke usui (not the actual photo)
The woman was raised by her grandparents since she was only a few months old after her mother passed away
Image credits: PlanktonJealous2104
Image credits: Settlemania (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PlanktonJealous2104
Image credits: Jo Naylor (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PlanktonJealous2104
Back in the day, the woman’s stepmother refused to raise her, as she was born from her father’s extramarital relationship
Image credits: Blake Johnson (not the actual photo)
Her half-brother received most of their father’s inheritance, but the situation was reversed with their grandparents’
A woman brought it to Reddit when she was asked by her half-brother to pass some of her grandmother’s heirloom to his fiancée. The woman shared that she was raised by her grandparents since she was only a few months old, after her mother passed away, and she wasn’t welcome at her father’s and stepmother’s house due to being born from her father’s extramarital relationship.
While the woman’s half-brother inherited a lot from their father, who passed away before his parents did, she herself received pretty much nothing. The situation was then reversed when it came to the inheritance from their grandparents. The woman received her grandparents’ house, almost everything in it, and her grandmother’s jewelry, which was worth around $750,000, as well as her grandparents’ life insurance.
The man received a few heirlooms and some money, but it was far less than what his sister got. Either way, he was fine with a split until he changed his mind and asked his sister to pass certain jewelry to his fiancée, so she can get married wearing it.
The man was fine with a split, until deciding he wants his fiancée to have their grandmother’s jewelry
Image credits: Camille Robinson (not the actual photo)
The woman refused to pass on her heirloom, as her grandmother would have willed otherwise if she wanted to
The woman refused, as she wishes to get married wearing it herself, and their grandmother would have willed it otherwise if she wished. The sister added that she had a much closer relationship with her grandparents and even chose a university nearby to be able to care for her grandparents.
In their study, Achievement-Based Sentimental Value as a Catalyst for Heirloom Gift-Giving Daniel M. Grossman and Ryan Rahinel were researching two types of sentimental value associated with heirlooms. They found that heirlooms associated with achievements are perceived as more suitable as heirlooms than those associated with enjoyment, even when it comes to evaluating the overall positivity of the association.
Researchers explain it to be because heirloom creators or givers tend to have a primary motive to inspire their offspring to strive for accomplishments in their own right and such heirlooms appear to be less about creators ensuring their personal achievement legacies are not forgotten and more about creators leveraging their achievements to motivate those in following generations.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
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When I was in her situation and he was whining to me how I got more than him from my grandparents and he deserved some I'd say, ok, and how much am I getting from you from my father's inheritance that you took while I got tokens? Shut tf up and go away. You got your share, I got mine, we both have plenty and each has what they deserve.
If you get invited to your brothers wedding. Do yourself a favour and don't wear the contentious jewellery it's not worth the further damage.
Now this is good advice. I'm assuming (possibly incorrectly) that OP may be hindu as such importance is given to wedding jewellery in the culture, in which case she should definitely not lend it.
Load More Replies... “I might give her something else if they don't shut up.” There have been worse plans. But not many.
I’m hopeful that the something else would be a restraining order against them.
Load More Replies... Family heirlooms stay in the family. Given to an in-law will result in their loss in the event of a divorce. This happened in my family.
I don't condone cheating, but it seems like OP has gotten the short end of the stick with her *family* Her stepmom didn't want her, her half brother clearly never had a good relationship or respected her, and her dad didn't seem to care for her much either. Her grandparents are wonderful and clearly wanted to gift their granddaughter their belongings.
Stepmom can hardly be blamed for not wanting to raise the child of her husband's infidelity. She should have dumped the husband though. The brother seems like an a*s.
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You lend it, they don't give it back, you report it stolen, they tell cops you gave it to them. I wouldn't lend it without a contract signed by both lender and lendee saying it was on loan to them from this date to this date to show the cops. But, even better, just say no!
Is the fiancee an orphan? Living a double life? Secret identity? Where's her family? They must have their own family to borrow/beg/steal jewelry from. If her own family won't provide $750,000 worth of jewelry, why is the OP obligated to do so in their place? Whether the fiancee is dirt poor or just in a witness relocation situation, the OP should tell them to suck it.
Honestly, you don't deserve this. As you said, you were close to her, you cared for her and gave up a dream to do so because of the relationship you had, thats beautiful yet heartbreaking, fair play to you. He should never have promised her a thing and to be honest, let them wallow in it, all of them. You're right, if she intended for him to have it, he'd have been in the will for said items. If I were you, I'd not give either of them a thing. I'm sorry to hear you've had to endure all of this, I had a similar thing after my nan passed with my cousin, its disgraceful. I hope you wear them to your wedding, I'm sure you will look amazing!
There was a similar story a week or so ago and the SIL ended up stealing the jewelry and the police had to get involved. I have a feeling this will have a similar conclusion.
The legal situation is clear and you never "deserve" to inherit anything. It was up to the gradparents who they left what to. The offer to borrow it is more than fair (I wouldn't do it anymore after this drama bc they might not give it back). And I will never understand this "ooooh she can't wear/have the same things in her wedding that I did". Getting married is a legal contract that you choose to celebrate, not your coronation or something. Get a grip!
She prob doesn't even know what it looks like. Go to target an buy something similar an put it in an older box. Then say you had a change of heart and give it to her. Don't break on this. Say you had it professionally cleaned. Just make sure it looks like anything she had on in any photos. I doubt she's gonna know it's not your real stuff. But hold off til the wedding day. Make sure you say she can wear it when you get to the church. This way she can't make a scene an will have something to wear. Cry a bit an make it really look like it's old. Some old cotton from an older box. Add a pc of a worn out ribbon too. Make it look really like you are lending it. I bet she's gonna have it on all event and you will never see it again.
Get some really cheap costume jewelry and give that to her. Stuff from the Dollar Store would work. Tell her she can keep it.
Please DO NOT reward her badgering you for stuff by giving her anything!
So, I'm assuming this is the Dad's parents. But I love how he's complaining about how much more she got than him, when he got more of the dad's estate. Was he willing to share any of that with her? But regardless, it was HIS mistake telling his fiancé and family something that 1) didn't seem to b true (because I agree that GM would have said something), 2) he told this to fiancé without ever saying anything to sis, and she offered to let her wear the jewelry, but she REALLY thinks anyone is going to recognize the SAME jewelry at OP's wedding? Goes to prove it has nothing to do with the wedding. They just want it
I like the idea of having similar stuff made up. I'd ask a reputable jeweler how much it'd cost (with CZ or other cheap alternative stones in it). If you could get something knocked up that looked pretty close, for a good price then do it and make that their wedding gift. It'd be worth it to see their expressions later at your own wedding when they realise you still have the original jewellery.
NTA. Don't let that jewelry out of your sight. Your stepmonster, stepbro and his fiancé will do just about anything to get their grubby little hands on it. Make very sure that you have the paperwork necessary to prove your ownership. It sounds like your step-family may pull out the stops in order to obtain what is rightfully yours. Also, you need to go NC with that bunch. Up the security around your home. Document EVERYTHING they say and do, in case a restraining order is in your future. As to your stepbrother's wedding: you may want to consider passing on that. It wouldn't be much of a stretch for the toxic trio to stir up some drama and blame it on you.
She should have a local artisan make copies of it. Cheap copies but look close enough. Play into their obvious gas lighting and lies and give her the fakes. Then wear the real stuff to her own wedding and not invite any of the family since they "ruined" hers by stealing the jewelry her grandma wanted her to wear. Take ALL the revenge
Wills are legal documents for this reason. Abide by it or STFU. And NEVER, EVER loan anything toa bride that you don't want back because 99% of the time you either won't get it back or it'll be ruined when you do get it back. I learned this when I was just a kid and learned my mom had loaned her veil that was part of the wedding dress her mother made for her. The cousin that "borrowed" it is long dead and no one ever saw that veil again. I still have the dress which is doubtful will ever be worn again due to it's small size. In fact, that size is the only reason cousin didn't get to borrow it as well.
Don't lend it to her! You'll never get it back! At this point, I wouldn't give them ANYTHING. Like the saying goes, give them an inch, they'll take a mile. If your grandmother truly wanted you half-brother to have any of her jewelry, she'd have stated it in writing. The fact is, she wanted YOU to have it. Honor her wishes, and look fabulous wearing it!
Have some costume copies made and when she complains because she had them tested (as she definitely will) you'll know for sure that it's not the heirloom connection she cares about.
Give her some cheap costume jewelry. Or even better……. Just block them.
OP should make a trust on Jewelry and prepare a will as well (does not matter the age). And make sure to let your brother know that it’s already done and they are nowhere mentioned. Restraining order good idea as well, she might say it’s “too much” but she’ll understand later. If OP gives them something small out of pitty, they will only curse her out, so there is no need for that at all. Either give them what they want or go no contact. There is one more way, make a copy out of 14k gold and lab grown diamonds, give them as real and say that you are keeping a copy that you will wear to your wedding anyway. But they will discover it at some point when they will be pawning it (because that’s the shait they are)
I agree about the will but, unfortunately, making copies out of gold and lab grown diamonds wouid actually be quite expensive (I have worked in the jewellery trade), especially when why should she? Even if she used gold plated and fake gems I don't see why she should give them anything. They are clearly hers. Her brother got his father's money and so can use that to buy his fiancee what she wants.
Load More Replies... When I was in her situation and he was whining to me how I got more than him from my grandparents and he deserved some I'd say, ok, and how much am I getting from you from my father's inheritance that you took while I got tokens? Shut tf up and go away. You got your share, I got mine, we both have plenty and each has what they deserve.
If you get invited to your brothers wedding. Do yourself a favour and don't wear the contentious jewellery it's not worth the further damage.
Now this is good advice. I'm assuming (possibly incorrectly) that OP may be hindu as such importance is given to wedding jewellery in the culture, in which case she should definitely not lend it.
Load More Replies... “I might give her something else if they don't shut up.” There have been worse plans. But not many.
I’m hopeful that the something else would be a restraining order against them.
Load More Replies... Family heirlooms stay in the family. Given to an in-law will result in their loss in the event of a divorce. This happened in my family.
I don't condone cheating, but it seems like OP has gotten the short end of the stick with her *family* Her stepmom didn't want her, her half brother clearly never had a good relationship or respected her, and her dad didn't seem to care for her much either. Her grandparents are wonderful and clearly wanted to gift their granddaughter their belongings.
Stepmom can hardly be blamed for not wanting to raise the child of her husband's infidelity. She should have dumped the husband though. The brother seems like an a*s.
Load More Replies... You lend it, they don't give it back, you report it stolen, they tell cops you gave it to them. I wouldn't lend it without a contract signed by both lender and lendee saying it was on loan to them from this date to this date to show the cops. But, even better, just say no!
Is the fiancee an orphan? Living a double life? Secret identity? Where's her family? They must have their own family to borrow/beg/steal jewelry from. If her own family won't provide $750,000 worth of jewelry, why is the OP obligated to do so in their place? Whether the fiancee is dirt poor or just in a witness relocation situation, the OP should tell them to suck it.
Honestly, you don't deserve this. As you said, you were close to her, you cared for her and gave up a dream to do so because of the relationship you had, thats beautiful yet heartbreaking, fair play to you. He should never have promised her a thing and to be honest, let them wallow in it, all of them. You're right, if she intended for him to have it, he'd have been in the will for said items. If I were you, I'd not give either of them a thing. I'm sorry to hear you've had to endure all of this, I had a similar thing after my nan passed with my cousin, its disgraceful. I hope you wear them to your wedding, I'm sure you will look amazing!
There was a similar story a week or so ago and the SIL ended up stealing the jewelry and the police had to get involved. I have a feeling this will have a similar conclusion.
The legal situation is clear and you never "deserve" to inherit anything. It was up to the gradparents who they left what to. The offer to borrow it is more than fair (I wouldn't do it anymore after this drama bc they might not give it back). And I will never understand this "ooooh she can't wear/have the same things in her wedding that I did". Getting married is a legal contract that you choose to celebrate, not your coronation or something. Get a grip!
She prob doesn't even know what it looks like. Go to target an buy something similar an put it in an older box. Then say you had a change of heart and give it to her. Don't break on this. Say you had it professionally cleaned. Just make sure it looks like anything she had on in any photos. I doubt she's gonna know it's not your real stuff. But hold off til the wedding day. Make sure you say she can wear it when you get to the church. This way she can't make a scene an will have something to wear. Cry a bit an make it really look like it's old. Some old cotton from an older box. Add a pc of a worn out ribbon too. Make it look really like you are lending it. I bet she's gonna have it on all event and you will never see it again.
Get some really cheap costume jewelry and give that to her. Stuff from the Dollar Store would work. Tell her she can keep it.
Please DO NOT reward her badgering you for stuff by giving her anything!
So, I'm assuming this is the Dad's parents. But I love how he's complaining about how much more she got than him, when he got more of the dad's estate. Was he willing to share any of that with her? But regardless, it was HIS mistake telling his fiancé and family something that 1) didn't seem to b true (because I agree that GM would have said something), 2) he told this to fiancé without ever saying anything to sis, and she offered to let her wear the jewelry, but she REALLY thinks anyone is going to recognize the SAME jewelry at OP's wedding? Goes to prove it has nothing to do with the wedding. They just want it
I like the idea of having similar stuff made up. I'd ask a reputable jeweler how much it'd cost (with CZ or other cheap alternative stones in it). If you could get something knocked up that looked pretty close, for a good price then do it and make that their wedding gift. It'd be worth it to see their expressions later at your own wedding when they realise you still have the original jewellery.
NTA. Don't let that jewelry out of your sight. Your stepmonster, stepbro and his fiancé will do just about anything to get their grubby little hands on it. Make very sure that you have the paperwork necessary to prove your ownership. It sounds like your step-family may pull out the stops in order to obtain what is rightfully yours. Also, you need to go NC with that bunch. Up the security around your home. Document EVERYTHING they say and do, in case a restraining order is in your future. As to your stepbrother's wedding: you may want to consider passing on that. It wouldn't be much of a stretch for the toxic trio to stir up some drama and blame it on you.
She should have a local artisan make copies of it. Cheap copies but look close enough. Play into their obvious gas lighting and lies and give her the fakes. Then wear the real stuff to her own wedding and not invite any of the family since they "ruined" hers by stealing the jewelry her grandma wanted her to wear. Take ALL the revenge
Wills are legal documents for this reason. Abide by it or STFU. And NEVER, EVER loan anything toa bride that you don't want back because 99% of the time you either won't get it back or it'll be ruined when you do get it back. I learned this when I was just a kid and learned my mom had loaned her veil that was part of the wedding dress her mother made for her. The cousin that "borrowed" it is long dead and no one ever saw that veil again. I still have the dress which is doubtful will ever be worn again due to it's small size. In fact, that size is the only reason cousin didn't get to borrow it as well.
Don't lend it to her! You'll never get it back! At this point, I wouldn't give them ANYTHING. Like the saying goes, give them an inch, they'll take a mile. If your grandmother truly wanted you half-brother to have any of her jewelry, she'd have stated it in writing. The fact is, she wanted YOU to have it. Honor her wishes, and look fabulous wearing it!
Have some costume copies made and when she complains because she had them tested (as she definitely will) you'll know for sure that it's not the heirloom connection she cares about.
Give her some cheap costume jewelry. Or even better……. Just block them.
OP should make a trust on Jewelry and prepare a will as well (does not matter the age). And make sure to let your brother know that it’s already done and they are nowhere mentioned. Restraining order good idea as well, she might say it’s “too much” but she’ll understand later. If OP gives them something small out of pitty, they will only curse her out, so there is no need for that at all. Either give them what they want or go no contact. There is one more way, make a copy out of 14k gold and lab grown diamonds, give them as real and say that you are keeping a copy that you will wear to your wedding anyway. But they will discover it at some point when they will be pawning it (because that’s the shait they are)
I agree about the will but, unfortunately, making copies out of gold and lab grown diamonds wouid actually be quite expensive (I have worked in the jewellery trade), especially when why should she? Even if she used gold plated and fake gems I don't see why she should give them anything. They are clearly hers. Her brother got his father's money and so can use that to buy his fiancee what she wants.
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