Woman Shames Brother With A Picture Of His Salary In A Group Chat After He Protested Her Thanksgiving Rules

It’s Thanksgiving. But even though the holiday is meant to bring family together, sometimes it can make you never want to see them again.

A few days ago, father, teacher, and Reddit user AmericanJohn500 was told to contribute $100 this year toward the big dinner to compensate his nephew for spending $300 on a new grill and the meat he planned to cook.

However, he thought the sudden “fee” was unreasonable and voiced his disappointment at such a steep figure. But instead of looking for a compromise, his sister escalated the situation in their group chat, and the whole thing quickly got ugly.

Leading up to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner, this man was told to contribute a hefty sum

Man in glasses wearing a brown sweater sitting on a couch, looking at phone, reflecting on refusing to bring expensive food Thanksgiving.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

But he felt it was too much

Family celebrating Thanksgiving with siblings and parents, refusing to bring expensive food or $100 minimum contribution.

Group chat message about refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving after nephew spends $300 on meat.

Group chat discussing refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and setting a $100 minimum <a href=

food contribution rule.” />

Person expressing frustration about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving due to poor communication and presentation.

Family serving roasted turkey and vegetables at a Thanksgiving dinner table, highlighting refusing to bring expensive food.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

Group chat discussing refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and choosing who should pay bills or contribute.

Text message about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving due to a $100 minimum rule in protest.

Money pressures affect a lot of families over the holidays

Image credits: Getty Images/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Last year, Beyond Finance, a company providing debt consolidation services, released findings of their survey highlighting the financial strain of holiday spending, and it’s clear that our Redditor isn’t the only one in such a predicament.

Conducted among 2,000 Americans celebrating the winter holidays, the research revealed that 76% experience emotional distress—”money wounds”—triggered by financial pressures.

Among the most frequently reported challenges are:

• Low self-esteem (26%)
• Compulsive overspending (21%)
• Shame over past financial decisions (21%)
• A scarcity mindset (20%)

However, the survey also discovered that 50% feel pressured to spend by their own family, while 42% isolate themselves during the holidays to avoid feelings of inadequacy.

Finances play a central role in how we relate to the world

Image credits: Allef Vinicius/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Financial psychotherapist Vicky Reynal says the way we deal with our income affects our families, shapes our conversations with partners, and can cast long shadows over our relationships with our parents.

“It’s not about stripping emotions out of financial decisions. It’s about becoming aware of them,” she explains.

So if you feel insulted by your family’s unexpected financial demands, it might very well be because of a deeper reason — like ignored boundaries.

“Holidays are hectic, in part, because we are trying to do all the things and make all the memories,” says Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology. “We often have Hallmark-movie-sized expectations, which can serve to amplify the patterns you already have.”

Certain traditions — like always hosting your entire family — can put you on autopilot during this time of year. But Dr. MacBride says these habits trigger stress because they don’t leave any room for the turbulence someone may be experiencing (such as financial problems).

“Expectations get out of control,” she says. “This is a holiday recipe of the worst kind: resentment.”

The goal is to cruise through the season, not exhaust each other. Let’s be better.

Soon after sharing his story, the man updated everyone that he’s not going

Update message about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving after salary was shamed in group chat.

Image credits: americanjohn500

People who read what happened said he was absolutely entitled to skipping the dinner

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food to a Thanksgiving potluck event.

Comment suggesting buying expensive mashed potato ingredients but refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving gatherings.

Comment discussing high water bills and calling a sister controlling, related to refusing to bring expensive food Thanksgiving.

User comment on a forum post about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving gatherings.

Comment explaining why refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving is reasonable for a large adult group.

Comment on refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving, expressing frustration over unfair expectations.

Comment on refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving, highlighting holiday costs and family expectations.

Reddit comment discussing family disagreements over refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and holiday expenses.

Comment from user TapeFlip187 sharing a humorous approach to refusing bring expensive food for Thanksgiving gathering.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and billing expectations.

Comment expressing that family holidays shouldn't be transactional and refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving.

Comment explaining it's reasonable to decline Thanksgiving invite when asked to pay for expensive food.

Comment complaining about a $200 water bill for one night, relating to refusing to bring expensive food Thanksgiving.

Comment by Lunar-Eclipse0204 explaining refusal to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving and discussing fair contribution.

Reddit user discusses refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving amid family tension over costs.

Screenshot of a comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food and family payment expectations during Thanksgiving.

Comment on refusing to bring expensive food at Thanksgiving, emphasizing hosting means not making guests pay.

Commenter discussing family conflict and control issues related to refusing to bring expensive food on Thanksgiving.

Screenshot of a discussion about refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and hosting responsibilities for large groups.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving and dealing with family expectations.

User refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving, discussing opting out and calling the demand extortion in a text comment.

Comment on a forum post expressing refusal to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving, highlighting disagreement in a casual tone.

Comment about refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving, highlighting family conflict over shared costs.

Commentators have shared many reactions to the whole ordeal

Comment discussing the incorrect math of dividing $300 among 20-25 people related to refusing to bring expensive food Thanksgiving.

Comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and concerns about family money issues.

Comment discussing the importance of not refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving to avoid inconsiderate behavior.

Comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving and sharing food fairly among guests.

Comment expressing refusal to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving, highlighting it has become a costly event.

Comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving, questioning spending $300 on a turkey.

Screenshot of a comment questioning a $200 water bill and expensive meat prices when refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving.

Comment on Reddit about grilling meat with odds against it turning out well, related to refusing bring expensive food Thanksgiving.

Screenshot of a social media comment suggesting to bring enough food for everyone, related to refusing to bring expensive food at Thanksgiving.

Comment questioning if $100 worth of food or a smaller side dish is fair when refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving.

Online comment about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving, sharing personal family hosting experience.

Comment about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving, mentioning cooking a frozen turkey in a smoker.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving at a family potluck.

Comment discussing refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving and suggesting affordable dish options.

Comment discussing demanding behavior and questioning the practice of refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving gatherings.

User comment questioning the high cost of Thanksgiving meat while refusing to bring expensive food for Thanksgiving.

Comment about refusing to bring expensive food to Thanksgiving, questioning choice over instant mashed potatoes.

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