“I Asked Her If She’d Hit Her Head”: Pregnant Dressmaker Refuses Bride’s Demands, Drama Ensues
There’s a difference between a favor and extortion. And Reddit user Elegant-Big3199 feels like her friend crossed that line.
She was asked to create a wedding dress — something the woman does for a living — but on an impractically tight deadline. With her upcoming maternity leave and the demands of her job, the Redditor told her friend that she couldn’t deliver in such a short time, and the two of them had a falling out.
Now that the conflict has also spilled into their broader social circle, the woman turned to the internet, asking people who is to blame for it.
This fashion designer told her friend she couldn’t make her a dress for her wedding
Image credits: Albertshakirov / Envato (not the actual photo)
But the friend refused to take a no for an answer
Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Elegant-Big3199
Custom wedding dresses take a long time to create
Image credits: Daniel Moises Magulado / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The timeframe that the Redditor’s friend presented is very short even for those who aren’t working pregnant.
For example, seasoned fashion designer Angela Kim, who also specializes in the industry, takes around double that.
“Creating a custom wedding dress typically takes 9-12 months,” she writes on her website. “This timeline allows us to create a gown that matches your bridal vision and achieves a perfect fit. During this time, designing your dress becomes a partnership to make every aspect of the dress reflect your bridal vision and personal style.”
According to the designer, a comfortable timeline allows them to finalize every detail, from the hem length to the delivery date, and leaves space for the creativity and precision required to make your dress perfect for your wedding theme and bridal photos.
“It’s a process that can’t be rushed—remember, this isn’t an episode of Project Runway! If you’re looking for a last-minute wedding dress, going custom is definitely not the right choice!”
Even if the bride chose from pre-existing designs, she’s still quite late.
“If you plan to buy a dress off-the-rack, you’ll need sufficient time for the order to arrive, which can often take four to six months,” Kim adds. “And likely you’ll also need alterations done, which can take another couple of months as well.”
This is because embellishments like hand-beading or lace appliqués require meticulous craftsmanship and precise placement.
Then, once the dress is nearly complete, designers also have to come up with the finishing touches that make a bridal look truly come to life. “Choosing the right accessories can elevate the overall aesthetic, whether it’s a vintage veil, a sparkling tiara, or elegant jewelry that complements the gown’s design,” Kim says.
Add the fact that custom dresses cost upwards of thousands of dollars and quickly becomes obvious that the bride from the Reddit post needs a reality check.
As the story went viral, its author joined the discussion in the comment section
And while the majority of people said she did nothing wrong
Some believe the woman could’ve taken a less confrontational route
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Huh? There's nothing entitled or unhinged about it. And they weren't wrong. It's pretty clear her friends don't know how long these dresses take to make. And it absolutely is rude of her to say what she did.
Load More Replies...On group chat - "It normally takes 10 months to make a wedding dress. Entitled demanded that I make her a free one in 5 months and informed me that I would have more free time as I'm having a baby in the middle of these five months. Entitled is right about one thing - I do have favourites. I didn't before this demand, but I sure as heck do now".
There is always a YTAer in this type of post where the OP is in the right, showing that a lot of the time, the (YTAers) are as entitled as the peeps asking for (free) stuff & derogating the OP when it's inconvenient at that particular time - esp when OP suggested a compromise. I've never understood such entitlement. It's like when you're offering free stuff online & they want you to drop it off, or complain about the free stuff once they've got it. NTA, btw re: the OP. I hope she doesn't back down on this.
The YTA commenter making some huge assumptions about the poster. "They don't know how much work it is, you never told them." Uhh, they've been friends since HIGH SCHOOL, you think in all these years they never talked about work? The friend group that's had two weddings never talked about the work that goes into preparing for a wedding? Unless the friend is completely oblivious it should be obvious that making a dress would be hard work and take a long time.
Absolutely - she just wanted to have her way, in her time frame. Uhhhhh, has she priced wedding dresses? Does she realize what a HUGE gift a free custom gown is? Yet she has the nerve to be demanding & insulting - & probably the same with all the vendors.
Load More Replies...Middle Earth - perhaps read the entire thing where she DID in fact explain how long it takes. I would be back in the group chat saying, sorry, but my physical and mental health and giving birth and looking after a child usurp your wanting a free dress and bringing it to social media is how you lose friends. Then block her.
At the same time the bride is telling people that you don't consider her one of your favorites, she is simultaneously explaining why.
I have to wonder if any of the YTA commenters either have birthed a child or are seamstresses with wedding dress making experience; that they are so judgmental. For the so-called friend to demand a custom wedding dress under such circumstances in a short time line AND subsequently trash-talk the author for refusing; she revealed how unhinged she is.
Probably the rest of the friend group weren't surprised at the bride's behavior - this surely isn't the 1st time something like this has happened. & Others in the group will have had children & understand what the mother-to-be is going thru, physically & emotionally, & what life 8s like for a new m9m.
Load More Replies...If we are friends, real ones; once I tell you I can't do something, I don't need to justify it and my friends know that I truly can't. Change your friends cause they aren't, at least not that one.
When you shop for a wedding dress, one of the pieces of information you're given is expected delivery time. When you look at bridal magazines, one of the pieces of information in EVERY ISSUE is "timeline" information, including lead time for the dress. An individual design (design and production) will ALWAYS take longer than a commercially made dress, and if the designer has their own business, they already have commitments they are contractually obligated to fulfill. If you're going to get married DO SOME RESEARCH.
But she expected to be the exception - that she'd get special treatment.
Load More Replies...Even a wedding dress made from a store bought pattern takes time to personalize and fit exactly. NTA.
Just pointing out, it was supposed to be a gift. A gift worth a (few) month(s) wages. OP is in no way obligated to do that. (Yes, the cost of an average bride-gown should have been a clue as to how much work goes into the thing.) Bride not taking the professional's explanation serious and demanding she do it while pregnant or post-partum, is way out of her mind.
"it's clear who's her favourites" yeah HER BABY IS, B*TCH ! AS IT SHOULD! Even without the pregnancy...I sew for some of my cosplayer friends and even for a cosplay, 5 months is NOT enough! I can only imagine for a f*cking WEDDING DRESS! .....and the worst is that I have no problem guessing where it takes place .........USA is the only place so unhinged about wedding........
I know that wedding is a great fete here, a LOT to prepare, but - made a wedding dress in 4 MONTHS can be done, pregnant or not pregnant. Or is there something special, like pearls that the dressmaker must take self from see? 4 months can be sufficient, or not? I am no American and I a little bit despite your fascination by weddings.
I have a question … what is the [meaning of the] symbol at the end of the last posted comment? I see it occasionally but when I tried looking it up I keep getting the result of “17”
I know the second is the symbol for female. The first, I'm not sure and am having a hell of a time trying to find it.
Load More Replies...I understand the friend feeling hurt but I dont understand the outcry. In her position i would have felt hurt and left out **because of the circumstances**, but i wouldnt find fault in a friend who wants to, but cannot help. I also think the op has gone into the 'I'm making life here!' mindset, which is hard to understand for child free people.
Huh? There's nothing entitled or unhinged about it. And they weren't wrong. It's pretty clear her friends don't know how long these dresses take to make. And it absolutely is rude of her to say what she did.
Load More Replies...On group chat - "It normally takes 10 months to make a wedding dress. Entitled demanded that I make her a free one in 5 months and informed me that I would have more free time as I'm having a baby in the middle of these five months. Entitled is right about one thing - I do have favourites. I didn't before this demand, but I sure as heck do now".
There is always a YTAer in this type of post where the OP is in the right, showing that a lot of the time, the (YTAers) are as entitled as the peeps asking for (free) stuff & derogating the OP when it's inconvenient at that particular time - esp when OP suggested a compromise. I've never understood such entitlement. It's like when you're offering free stuff online & they want you to drop it off, or complain about the free stuff once they've got it. NTA, btw re: the OP. I hope she doesn't back down on this.
The YTA commenter making some huge assumptions about the poster. "They don't know how much work it is, you never told them." Uhh, they've been friends since HIGH SCHOOL, you think in all these years they never talked about work? The friend group that's had two weddings never talked about the work that goes into preparing for a wedding? Unless the friend is completely oblivious it should be obvious that making a dress would be hard work and take a long time.
Absolutely - she just wanted to have her way, in her time frame. Uhhhhh, has she priced wedding dresses? Does she realize what a HUGE gift a free custom gown is? Yet she has the nerve to be demanding & insulting - & probably the same with all the vendors.
Load More Replies...Middle Earth - perhaps read the entire thing where she DID in fact explain how long it takes. I would be back in the group chat saying, sorry, but my physical and mental health and giving birth and looking after a child usurp your wanting a free dress and bringing it to social media is how you lose friends. Then block her.
At the same time the bride is telling people that you don't consider her one of your favorites, she is simultaneously explaining why.
I have to wonder if any of the YTA commenters either have birthed a child or are seamstresses with wedding dress making experience; that they are so judgmental. For the so-called friend to demand a custom wedding dress under such circumstances in a short time line AND subsequently trash-talk the author for refusing; she revealed how unhinged she is.
Probably the rest of the friend group weren't surprised at the bride's behavior - this surely isn't the 1st time something like this has happened. & Others in the group will have had children & understand what the mother-to-be is going thru, physically & emotionally, & what life 8s like for a new m9m.
Load More Replies...If we are friends, real ones; once I tell you I can't do something, I don't need to justify it and my friends know that I truly can't. Change your friends cause they aren't, at least not that one.
When you shop for a wedding dress, one of the pieces of information you're given is expected delivery time. When you look at bridal magazines, one of the pieces of information in EVERY ISSUE is "timeline" information, including lead time for the dress. An individual design (design and production) will ALWAYS take longer than a commercially made dress, and if the designer has their own business, they already have commitments they are contractually obligated to fulfill. If you're going to get married DO SOME RESEARCH.
But she expected to be the exception - that she'd get special treatment.
Load More Replies...Even a wedding dress made from a store bought pattern takes time to personalize and fit exactly. NTA.
Just pointing out, it was supposed to be a gift. A gift worth a (few) month(s) wages. OP is in no way obligated to do that. (Yes, the cost of an average bride-gown should have been a clue as to how much work goes into the thing.) Bride not taking the professional's explanation serious and demanding she do it while pregnant or post-partum, is way out of her mind.
"it's clear who's her favourites" yeah HER BABY IS, B*TCH ! AS IT SHOULD! Even without the pregnancy...I sew for some of my cosplayer friends and even for a cosplay, 5 months is NOT enough! I can only imagine for a f*cking WEDDING DRESS! .....and the worst is that I have no problem guessing where it takes place .........USA is the only place so unhinged about wedding........
I know that wedding is a great fete here, a LOT to prepare, but - made a wedding dress in 4 MONTHS can be done, pregnant or not pregnant. Or is there something special, like pearls that the dressmaker must take self from see? 4 months can be sufficient, or not? I am no American and I a little bit despite your fascination by weddings.
I have a question … what is the [meaning of the] symbol at the end of the last posted comment? I see it occasionally but when I tried looking it up I keep getting the result of “17”
I know the second is the symbol for female. The first, I'm not sure and am having a hell of a time trying to find it.
Load More Replies...I understand the friend feeling hurt but I dont understand the outcry. In her position i would have felt hurt and left out **because of the circumstances**, but i wouldnt find fault in a friend who wants to, but cannot help. I also think the op has gone into the 'I'm making life here!' mindset, which is hard to understand for child free people.
































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