Woman Refers Ex-Coworker To Company, He Starts Demanding A Cut Of Her Bonus, She’s Not Having It

Sharing is caring, unless we’re talking about fries or referral bonuses. There’s a certain sacredness to money given to you by your employer for doing them a favor. And what happens when someone you barely know starts suggesting that maybe, just maybe, you should cough up part of that sweet, sweet cash?

That’s exactly what happened to today’s Original Poster (OP), who thought she was just doing a solid for an old colleague. However, when money got involved, the situation took a turn into murky moral waters, which left her wondering if she was being selfish or just sensible.

More info: Reddit

Some people really know how to test the limits of entitlement, like by getting a favor and then demanding more

Two colleagues discussing a referral bonus and job opportunity over coffee with a laptop between them.

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The author referred a former coworker to her current company, and he was hired for the role

Woman seeking advice after referring ex-colleague for a job, upset about not sharing the referral bonus.

Text on screen explaining remote work with ex-colleague, related to job referral and bonus sharing scenario.

Text excerpt about two colleagues in the same department who got along well but were not close friends.

Text on screen about a man landing a good job thanks to a referral from an ex-colleague he really likes.

Image credit: Routine-Shirt6500

Woman working on laptop at home, smiling while holding a coffee mug, related to job referral bonus story.

Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Two months later, the former coworker asked if she would share her referral bonus, claiming HR had mentioned it to him

Text on white background stating a referral made for Mike who was seen as a great fit for a job opening four months ago.

Text excerpt about a guy landing a good job thanks to an ex-colleague and requesting a share of the referral bonus.

Text showing concerns about HR discussing a referral bonus and expectations around sharing the referral bonus from ex-colleague.

Image credit: Routine-Shirt6500

Person with curly hair gesturing at laptop screen in home office, discussing job referral and referral bonus.

Image credits: Mizuno K / Pexels (not the actual photo)

This left her surprised, having not received the bonus yet, and she felt uncomfortable with the suggestion, so she brushed it off as a joke

Text excerpt about a guy receiving a referral bonus after landing a good job thanks to his ex-colleague.

Text about a man reluctant to share a referral bonus despite landing a good job thanks to an ex-colleague.

Text message discussing whether not sharing a referral bonus after landing a good job is appropriate or not.

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However, the former coworker brought it up again, quoting HR, prompting the author to question both his motives and HR’s professionalism

The OP had referred a former coworker to her new company, and while they got along well in their previous job, they weren’t exactly best friends. She saw he’d be a good fit for an open role and thought to refer him because, after all, she was referred into the company herself and knew how much it could help.

The former coworker got the job, and that should’ve been the end of it. But two months in, he brought up something unexpected: a referral bonus. Not only was he aware that she might receive one, but he also hinted she should split it with him because HR allegedly said so.

The OP was surprised, not just because of the coworker’s request, but because HR had apparently discussed her bonus with someone else. She tried to brush off the coworker’s request with humor, hoping that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

The coworker circled back weeks later, this time suggesting the OP should at least take him to dinner (with the money she still hadn’t received, by the way). This left her feeling cornered by politeness, HR meddling, and a persistent colleague. Moreover, she had her own financial obligations, like home repairs, and really didn’t want to share her bonus.

To clarify common concerns around referral bonuses, Bored Panda spoke to HR representative Dara Faronbi, who explained that “it is not standard practice to disclose referral bonus details to the candidate who was referred. These bonuses are internal rewards meant to recognize employees who help bring qualified talent to the company.”

She added that information such as the amount or payout timeline is usually confidential and shared only with the referring employee. “While transparency is important, sharing such details with the referred candidate can cause confusion since it doesn’t affect their compensation or hiring process,” she noted.

Two colleagues talking on a subway, one smiling and holding a coffee, representing job referral and bonus discussion.

Image credits: Liliana Drew / Pexels (not the actual photo)

When asked if employees are encouraged to share referral bonuses with those they refer, Faronbi stated, “Companies generally do not promote this practice. Referral bonuses are designed to reward the employee’s effort in identifying strong candidates, not to be split or shared.”

She then cautioned that encouraging sharing could lead to ethical concerns or undermine the program’s purpose by introducing financial motivations. Still, “if an employee voluntarily chooses to share their bonus personally, companies typically do not intervene, so long as it doesn’t violate policies or create workplace problems.”

Faronbi also stressed the importance of formal boundaries around discussing bonuses to prevent awkward situations. “While transparency builds trust, unrestricted conversations about compensation can spark tension or feelings of unfairness among colleagues,” she explained.

She emphasized that clear company policies should “specify what bonus information remains confidential, who can access it, and how it should be communicated.” These boundaries, Faronbi said, help maintain professionalism, protect privacy, and keep referral programs focused on recognizing genuine employee contributions without unintended conflicts.

Netizens supported the OP, agreeing that she shouldn’t feel obligated to share her referral bonus. They expressed skepticism about the coworker’s claims and the HR involvement, suggesting that the friend could be lying about it. They also warned against trusting him and said that she has every right to keep her bonus without guilt or pressure.

What do you think about this situation? How would you respond if a colleague kept asking you to share your referral bonus? We would love to know your thoughts!

Netizens supported the author and insisted that she wouldn’t be wrong for not sharing her bonus with the former coworker, especially since she also needed it

Reddit comments discussing a referral bonus and a job opportunity thanks to an ex-colleague’s recommendation.

Reddit comments discussing a job referral bonus dispute involving an ex-colleague and ethical concerns in the workplace.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a man landing a job through an ex-colleague and referral bonus sharing dispute.

Reddit comments discussing a guy landing a good job thanks to an ex-colleague and referral bonus dispute.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a guy landing a job through an ex-colleague and demanding a referral bonus split.

Reddit comments discussing referral bonus fairness after a guy landed a good job thanks to an ex-colleague’s referral.

Reddit comments discussing a man landing a good job thanks to an ex-colleague and the referral bonus dispute.

Comment discussing referral bonus and job opportunity, emphasizing negotiation and sharing of bonus between ex-colleagues.

Comment discussing referral bonus etiquette after a friend helped land a good job through an ex-colleague’s referral.

Screenshot of an online forum discussion about a referral bonus dispute involving a job landed through an ex-colleague.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a guy who landed a good job thanks to an ex-colleague and demands the referral bonus.

Comment explaining refusal to share referral bonus after ex-colleague helped guy land a good job dispute over bonus entitlement

Comment about referral bonus timing and advice on handling a colleague demanding to share the referral bonus.

Comment discussing referral bonus impact on job landing and the boost provided by an ex-colleague's recommendation.

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