73 Job-Hunting Stories And Memes That Prove Getting Hired Has Become A Full-Time Job

I never understood the obsession with the gap. I was self employed in between and went for further training and education. Or one built a house/car/boat and sold that, or...

The video thing annoys me as well. You can't spare a human to talk to me, but I'm supposed to create a monologue for you? You have my CV, I've filled out your annoying online form that asks the same info 3 different ways - that should be enough for you to be getting on with

Been there.... I don't have a certificate from a 3 day course. I have a PhD in the same subject. Yes, I could just take the course but I object to the $10,000 price tag

This could be fun...

love it!

okay, but what is the maximum?

Yup. Can attest that taking off the PhD is sometimes beneficial, because some managers "have no interest in hiring someone like that" Like what? Intellectually curious?

I tend to respond with " to be discussed, depending on total compensation package". Unless it's hourly contracting, then it's the rate I know the market is paying some of my "competitors" because you'd better believe we compare notes about our clients

Check your diary or your payslips. No, wait. Not everyone keeps those pieces of paper.

There are times to be cute. While rejecting someone isn't it

So they can tell which other methods of advertising were a waste of money.

Yup, these are not people you want to work for, if you can afford to wait for a better option

like "dine with me" After they met they exchanged 3 sms and one missed call

At least this is an understandable reason

"Don't use AI to write your CV. But also, we will use AI to screen candidates, and it will select the wrong ones because AI s***s"

Unpaid internships should be banned. If the person is working, pay them. If they are learning then show a curriculum and how mastery of the topics will be demonstrated and shared with actual employers. Otherwise, it's another wedge between rich kids who can afford to be sponsored by their parents even longer and regular kids who can't, for no transferrable benefit

"Have you tried calling them up and telling them what you can do for them"? Sure, I could do that - and some would invite me in and happily pick my brain for free for a few hours. I'm interested in clients who have.a budget to pay me, thanks

Some companies will take this reply as irrefutable proof that you did not graduate High School.

For GC public sector consulting it's a "skills grid" that can take a full day to complete, including examples totalling 10 years of X in the last 15, etc. Very annoying.

and you developed that tool

Julie S

Julie S

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So true

Spelling would appear to be optional ...

I asked Head Office., Apparently , this is a 'you' problem ...

Gotta have a corporate presence at these things, so you can tell shareholders that you're always looking for highly talented people even though you absolutely have no money set aside for this

10-years comes from 16 hours per day for 5 years. Does it add up now?

Either way , it s***s to be you - in this company, anyway.

Not sure pining a target on your buddy Kyle is the best move

This is how they "objectively" evaluate candidates while making sure the one they want (who got the problem ahead of time) scores highest

This is what happens when the poster is never closed because it was basically a ghost posting "to develop a candidate pool" or "test the market" aka there was never a budget to actually hire anyone, they just wanted to keep staff on edge

and then get told: internship was excessively long

Well, if you insist and can give me an absolute guarantee that it won't be rejected (probably not)...

Could you refuse to attend? When I had to do an exit interview, I did it in writing from a list of questions on the intranet, and gave that to HR. I was able to say what I needed to say, not get emotional (I would have), and HR couldn't misunderstand or make inaccurate notes about my responses.

Give the answer they want. It's a stupid game, but you can't change it from the outside

Dude, I don't know you. How am I supposed to know your sense of humor or what impresses you?

I can absolutely see this. Plan is for different messages per status change, the implementation is running late, the implementation team is told it's fine to have the same message appear no matter what the status is changed to, the hiring manager says "use the positive one" because they aren't concerned about pissing off the rejected applicants. Of course, the company winds up looking awful, but that's a marketing problem...

But then, if you know the actual hiring manager is disorganized and scattered, this might be a good idea

they also lie to their shareholders

Revenge is a dish best served by this guy.

They just want a 'reason' to refuse you.

I hear that they're a good firm to work for, in fact.

There absolutely is in some countries.

Julie S

Julie S

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I feel this.

And this is why the other candidate, who did an awesome interview and was fully qualified, never had a chance

At least someone read and replied - getting human attention is an accomplishment

Curious how they calculated that unemployment rate. Phds in a field aren't interchangeable, our thesis tends to be in a particular area

... 'take-home' projects which we pinky-swear are not just problems we can't solve ourselves ...

Nah, that's just the standard brush-off.

Guess ...

Poor answer design. The categories should be discrete without any overlap

Yes, I'm not smarter than you ...

You might do work for them, but they will never do work for you

I guess the HR rep didn't want to renew their community theatre subscription and figured they'd get candidates to offer up life monologues instead?