This Page Is Dedicated To Cursed Zillow Listings And Here Are 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones
Our loyal readers know that if they hear the word “Zillow” it’s not gonna be a post about architectural masterpieces where the designs are award winning and where every little corner has its purpose.
Quite the contrary, we will dive into the zillionaire-approved houses of sheer insanity that show what happens when common sense and too many dollars in your bank account go on a date.
Thanks to the new and growing Instagram account “BizarreZillow” that has collected some of the most “seriously?!”-inducing Zillow listings, we now gotta see what cursed means when we talk real estate. So hold tight, things are about to get zillowy.
300 Noble Ave., Fort Worth, Texas
me: mom can we get the palace of versailles
mom: we have the palace of versailles at home
the palace of versailles at home:
Pinterest In The Streets, Goth In The Sheets! 228 Townsend Ave, Baltimore, Md
Dracula Meets Hgtv... Utah Never Ceases To Amaze Me! 4623 S Jupiter Dr E., Salt Lake City, Utah
To find out an expert’s take on these incredibly weird houses, Bored Panda reached out to Philippa Main, a licensed Tampa Bay Realtor® at Your Main Agent. Philippa went viral not so long ago for her hilarious house listing for “The Worst House On The Street” that you can read about in our previous post right here. Now, she has listed another priceless house description on Realtor.com that will surely crack a smile!
“Sometimes I feel like the earth cracked open right here in Tampa Bay and McMansions were born out of our sandy soil because we have so many communities full of them here,” Philippa said when asked if she has encountered a McMansion in her career.
When He Said He Lives In The “Penthouse” Then U Come Over And See This....yes, This Is A Stand-Alone House Built On The Roof Of An Apartment Building. 714 S Dearborn St Unit 9-Ph, Chicago, Illinois
The Munster Mansion In Texas! The Munster Mansion Is The Proud Home And Hard Work Of Sandra And Charles Mckee. The Munster Mansion Is A Replica Of The House Used In "The Munsters" 60's Sitcom Show. It Has Been Painstakingly Recreated Room By Room, Through Watching And Re-Watching Footage From The Show. The Owners Offer Both Private Tours And Murder Mystery Parties In The Home
“The Tampa real estate market is thriving now, but prior to the downturn in 2008, builders would throw these style of homes up left and right with extremely questionable design and construction choices (and I’m sure it was a similar story across the US).”
She added: “Now, 10+ years later, we’re feeling the effects of that with major structural problems on homes that really aren’t that old. Or these homes need extensive cosmetic upgrades because they are just not what the modern buyer is looking for.”
Anyone Have Some Excedrin Because This Gave Me A Migraine 20575 E Via De Areoles, Queen Creek, Arizona
“These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends” This House Has An Entire Wild West Town In The Backyard. I Thought Hbo Showed Us How This Type Of Thing Pans Out....18 El Prado Ct, Santa Rosa, California
This One’s A Doozy! 32208 County Road, Saint Cloud, Minnesota
There's this entire fascination with tacky, over-the-top, and super posh houses on the internet. We asked Philippa what she thinks of it. “I think there are two categories of content that people can’t look away from—the aspirational and the train wreck. McMansions blur the line between the two so people can’t look away. You can look at these homes and fantasize about what it would be like to own a huge place of your own, but also feel a little bit of smugness knowing you would have made way better design choices,” she explained and added that “if you’re simultaneously being inspired but also cringing, and I think that makes scrolling through these homes an irresistible hobby for people.”
Do You Think This Person Likes Cats? I Can’t Tell. 669 County Road 8235, Concho, Arizona
This House Is Described As “A Slice Of Heaven With Endless Possibilities”. Also The Walls Are Filled With Water For God Knows What Reason 350 Van Dalton Rd., Corrigan, Texas
This Looks Like A Mental Hospital For Bougie Space Aliens I’m Terrified...the Brits Are A Bunch Of Sickos!!!
From the point of a realtor, Philippa argues that there’s a home for every buyer and “it’s all about how you frame it to your clients.” “I work in one of the most desirable real estate markets in the country and we have extremely low inventory right now, so finding someone willing to buy a McMansion and cosmetically renovate it or fix larger problems is easier because there are so few homes out there,” she explained.
“In a more normal market, though, the super large homes definitely sit longer than others, because there is a trend of “less is more” when it comes to square footage. I also feel that the whole “do it yourself” fad with home renovations stopped being as popular about three years ago, so now people want move-in ready homes—they don’t want to have to rip out somebody else’s gaudy or tacky choices to start from scratch,” Philippa concluded.
Welcome To The Hellscape That Is 432 Park Avenue In New York City
This 1,396 foot nightmare on “Billionaire Row” holds 147 apartments and is currently the 3rd-tallest residential building in the world, with a 15:1 height-to-width ratio that is one of the most slender in the world. Amenities include golf training facilities, a private Michelin-starred restaurant and a 4 story fitness center with an Olympic sized swimming pool, sauna and library curated by Assouline.
It sounds too good to be true because it is. Residents of 432 Park are facing millions of dollars worth of water damage from mechanical and plumbing issues, frequent elevator malfunctions, and walls that “creak like the galley of a ship” because the building sways violently in the wind. 432’s boxy design was inspired by a designer wastepaper basket.
Residents say they were promised move-in ready units and were instead greeted with a half-built, plywood filled mess on closing day. “The icing on the cake? Everybody hates each other here,” said resident Sarina Abramovich.
*cue ‘Succession’ theme song*
Interior images are from unit 80A (3bed/3bath) currently offered for sale at 20 million
Absolutely Obsessed With This Time Capsule House, Wouldn’t Change A Thing!
Here’s A Demented House In Russia. I Don’t Know Any Details Because The Listing Is Entirely In Russian. New Yawk Babie
This Home’s Transition From Pink And Dainty To Vampy And Brooding Is *chefs Kiss* 225 S Hamilton Dr., Beverly Hills, California
If A Cheesecake Factory And A Rainforest Cafe Joined Forces... Located Just Fifteen Minutes From The House Jonbenet Ramsey Was Murdered In! 1133 Timber Ln., Boulder, Colorado
This One Is More Peculiar Than Usual: $495,000/14.73 Acres And An Underground Missile Complex “One Of America's Most Top Secret Places Is Now On The Market
This complex is twelve minutes to the town of Benson. A time capsule - wrapped up and closed since 2016 to prevent vandals and curious explorers. Amazing and mysterious opportunities await the daring buyer. There’s a private well and electricity on-site! Views of the Rincon and Dragoon Mountains.”
I Could Feel The Christmas Noose Begin To Tighten... 1 Rivers Edge Dr., Colts Neck, New Jersey
This Is The Home That Inspired It All. Words Escape Me Every Time I See These Photos. This House Opened Up New Doors Inside My Soul And Makes Me Feel Emotions I Never Knew I Had. 450 W Grixdale Ave., Detroit, Michigan
I’ve Got Vampires On The Brain Thanks To The 2020 Resurgence Of The Twilight Franchise. This House Makes Me Want To Sleep In A Coffin And Hiss At A Crucifix! 2114 Ne Crestview Dr., Newport, Oregon
Did A 9 Year Old Prince Design This House? 67 Byron, Weston, Massachusetts
If A Sims House Created By An Emotionally Disturbed 10 Yr Old Came To Life
Welcome To The Winchester Mystery House, The Spooky Abode Of Sara Pardee Winchester
As the wife of William Winchester, creator of war rifles used throughout the 19th century, Sara’s life was plagued by misfortune, marked by the deaths of her infant daughter from wasting disease and husband who succumbed to tuberculosis. Stricken by grief, Sara was drawn to the trendy “spiritualism” movement of the era, and was told by a medium that her family was cursed and stalked by the souls of those killed by her husband’s weapons. This clairvoyant told Sara that the only way to escape the malevolent presence was to move west, build a home, and continue expanding it forever. Using her inheritance of nearly $1000 per day, Sara attempted to “trick” the ghosts by constructing a mansion filled with convoluted floorpans, winding hallways, stairs that lead to ceilings, and the infamous “door to nowhere” pictured on the 3rd slide which opens to a steep drop from the second floor.
The home boasts over 160 rooms, including 40 bedrooms, two ballrooms, 47 fireplaces and 10,000 panes of glass, and once stood seven stories tall prior to the 1960 earthquake which leveled sections of the estate. Only one bathroom in the home was operational, with all others used as “decoys” to confuse spirits. Though the medium told her that constant development of the house would grant her immortality, Sara passed away inside the home in 1922. The Winchester Mystery House is also the inspiration for The Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World