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Husband’s Definition Of A Mom Is Someone Who Gave Birth, Refuses To Get Wife A Mother’s Day Gift
Expectations can shift quickly during pregnancy, not just about parenting, but also about partnership, appreciation, and all the little ways people support each other.
Reddit user UTVols1557 found himself in hot water after telling his pregnant wife she didn’t “qualify” for a Mother’s Day gift because their baby hadn’t been born yet.
After an argument that led nowhere, he asked the internet what they thought about his firm stance and the reasoning behind it, and oh boy, did it provoke a wide array of opinions.
RELATED:
For many couples, milestones like Mother’s Day take on new meaning when a baby is on the way
Image credits: Courtney Walker / flickr (not the actual photo)
But not everyone agrees on when those celebrations should begin
Image credits: UTVols1557
Image credits: Getty Images / pexels (not the actual photo)
Parents need each other — otherwise, they’re lonely
When a couple starts expecting their first child, they get to know each other in a way they never have before, and depending on what happens next, their bond can become even stronger or deteriorate.
The man behind the post may not have had any bad intentions. “Because pregnancy, labor and birth are such intense physical processes I think it can feel a bit abstract for partners, and it can be harder to feel as engaged,” says Meema Spadola, PCD, CLC, a certified postpartum doula and lactation counselor in New York City.
“If couples haven’t been thinking and talking about how they want to navigate this period, it can be easy to default to roles that can leave partners feeling a bit less connected.”
That being said, he really needs to listen and create a space for his wife to open up and be able to share her needs in a vulnerable way. Otherwise, they might drift apart.
A 2024 national survey conducted by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center found that a broad majority of American parents experience isolation, loneliness, and burnout.
Image credits: Riccardo Battist / flickr (not the actual photo)
The survey demonstrated that:
- About two-thirds (66%) feel the demands of parenthood sometimes or frequently felt isolating and lonely;
- About 62% feel burned out by their responsibilities as a parent;
- Nearly 2 in 5 (38%) feel they have no one to support them in their parenting role;
- Nearly 4 in 5 (79%) would value a way to connect with other parents outside of work and home.
Parents need each other to survive and thrive.
As people shared their take on the conflict, the man initially tried to defend his stance
Some people thought he did nothing wrong
But in the end, the husband changed his mind
Image credits: UTVols1557
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Marianne 10 months ago
Just a comment: Here in Germany, it is considered bad luck to celebreate an event before it has actually happened, because you are basically challenging your odds of the event never happening in the end. That means, we don't wish an early happy birthday, because it suggests that the person will die before their actual birthday. When I was pregnant on mother's day, I made it clear that I didn't want a present, because it gave me the bad feeling that I might not give birth to a healthy child in the end.
FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago
What awful entitled people. I hope having a kid shakes the sense into them, but more likely they'll just produce awful spawn. People who "stick to their principles" about getting or giving gifts, are insufferable. This poor kid.
Marianne 10 months ago
Just a comment: Here in Germany, it is considered bad luck to celebreate an event before it has actually happened, because you are basically challenging your odds of the event never happening in the end. That means, we don't wish an early happy birthday, because it suggests that the person will die before their actual birthday. When I was pregnant on mother's day, I made it clear that I didn't want a present, because it gave me the bad feeling that I might not give birth to a healthy child in the end.
FreeTheUnicorn 10 months ago
What awful entitled people. I hope having a kid shakes the sense into them, but more likely they'll just produce awful spawn. People who "stick to their principles" about getting or giving gifts, are insufferable. This poor kid.
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