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Cunning MIL Hijacks DIL’s Christmas Present For Fiancé And Pretends It’s From Her, DIL Uncomfortable
Worried middle aged woman sitting on couch, stressed about wife treating hubby like wallet on legs for stepson conflict.

Cunning MIL Hijacks DIL’s Christmas Present For Fiancé And Pretends It’s From Her, DIL Uncomfortable

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Every person entering a new family hopes that their in-laws will be nice and loving, instead of a nightmare to handle. Unfortunately, not everyone is that lucky, and they might end up having to deal with a toxic extended family that’s hell-bent on getting their own way.

This is the situation one woman had to deal with because her mother-in-law was extremely clingy and controlling. She also did everything in her power to come between their relationship, which led to a lot of awkward and uncomfortable situations.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    It can be hard to set boundaries with rude in-laws, especially if your partner is not on your side

    Woman and man sitting on sofa, discussing family and parenting issues involving stepson and household dynamics.

    Image credits: Max4e / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster shared that she had been with her fiancé for eight years and that, since they lived abroad, she only met his possessive mom a few times

    Screenshot of a post discussing a wife treating her husband like a wallet and denying parenting of her teen stepson.

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    Text excerpt about a wife treating hubby like a wallet on legs and conflict over parenting their teen stepson.

    Text about mother-in-law controlling fiancé’s clothes and planning wedding, highlighting family tension and parenting conflicts.

    Text excerpt about a wife treating her hubby like a wallet on legs while denying him parenting his stepson.

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    Text on a white background discussing getting presents and opening them together by the Christmas table.

    Text message about coordinating delivery of a present involving wife, husband, and stepson parenting conflict.

    Text excerpt about a wife's behavior treating hubby like a wallet and restricting parenting role with stepson.

    Woman holding two wrapped gifts with colorful ribbons, smiling and looking to the side, symbolizing wallet on legs concept.

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    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    During Christmas, the poster’s mother-in-law took over the gift she was going to give her fiancé and pretended that it was from her until the last moment

    Text excerpt discussing a husband upset about being treated like a wallet on legs and excluded from parenting his stepson teen.

    Text about wife treating hubby like wallet on legs for stepson, causing anger over lack of parenting role.

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    Text about wife treating hubby like wallet on legs for stepson, causing conflict over parenting teen involvement.

    Text excerpt about telling fiancé a gift was from oneself to avoid hurt feelings, highlighting emotional family dynamics.

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    Text excerpt from a personal story about a wife treating hubby as a wallet on legs regarding stepson parenting conflict.

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    Text excerpt describing a tense family dynamic where wife treats hubby like a wallet and limits his parenting role with stepson.

    Text excerpt discussing concerns about visits from stepson after moving far, highlighting tensions in parenting teen stepson.

    Middle-aged woman sitting on a couch looking upset and stressed about parenting and family financial issues.

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    The woman was uncomfortable because of her mother-in-law’s manipulative behavior, and felt scared as they were going to be living just three hours away now

    Text update about frustration with wife treating husband like wallet on legs and denying parenting of stepson teen.

    Text about fiancé setting boundaries with his mother before planning wedding or kids, highlighting parenting and family conflicts.

    Text excerpt discussing a husband apologizing for prioritizing his wife and allowing her to control parenting and decisions.

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    Text excerpt discussing a stepson's struggle to express feelings and the wife's control over parenting decisions.

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    Alt text: Text about a husband seeking therapy for family issues and learning to set boundaries with his stepson and wife.

    Text on white background about monthly visits and availability, illustrating issues of parenting a teen stepson.

    Image credits: Moon_wave4

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    The poster also talked to her fiancé about his mom’s behavior, and he agreed to go to therapy as a way to be more aware of her behavior and to set boundaries with her

    Things must have been easier for the poster when she and her fiancé were living abroad, and his mom couldn’t interfere much in their lives. Unfortunately, since they were shifting a bit closer, his mother’s possessive and controlling nature became more apparent as she tried to control what the man wore and take over their wedding planning.

    Dealing with domineering parents like this can be difficult, especially if they always want to control how their kids live their lives. Family experts state that it’s not healthy when adults use manipulation tactics to get their children to do what they want, and that it can lead to a dysfunctional connection between them.

    It seems like the mother-in-law was just like that, and she didn’t want her son to be closer to anyone else except her. That’s why, during Christmas, when his fiancée got him a present, the older woman acted like it was from her, and she didn’t come clean about her actions until much later.

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    According to professionals, manipulative people or narcissists might actually use gifts and important events to further their agenda and play with people’s emotions. That’s why it’s essential not to react to their tactics and to ignore their behavior so that they can’t feed off your discomfort.

    Couple having a serious conversation at a table, illustrating conflict about parenting and family financial roles.

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    Image credits: namii9 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The woman obviously felt hurt and annoyed by her mother-in-law’s controlling tactics, and she didn’t know what to do about them. She felt helpless because her fiancé never seemed to notice the things his mom did, and didn’t stand up to her when she went overboard. 

    That’s why the poster eventually decided to speak to her partner about her concerns so that they could do something about it together. She didn’t want there to be more problems later on, since they were going to be living just three hours away from his mom and dad, who wanted to visit every month.

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    Setting boundaries with toxic relatives might seem tough, but they are necessary to maintain the peace. That’s why therapists advise doing this by figuring out what kind of behavior you don’t want happening anymore, and having a calm conversation with the person causing the problems.

    Luckily, the man was open to listening to the OP’s feelings, and he realized that he found it tough to confront his mom or recognize her manipulative behaviors. That’s why he decided to go to therapy so that he’d be able to work on himself and set better boundaries with his mother in the future.

    What advice do you have for the woman so that she doesn’t have to deal with her toxic mother-in-law’s tactics anymore? Do share your thoughts in the comments section below.

    People were shocked by the older woman’s antics and told the woman to set boundaries immediately or to call off the wedding

    Reddit comments discussing a husband upset over wife treating him like a wallet and not letting him parent her teen stepson.

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    Text conversation about family boundary struggles, parenting challenges, and setting limits with stepson and his mother.

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    Reddit conversation about husband being treated like wallet on legs and not allowed to parent his stepson.

    Reddit comments discussing husband treated like wallet on legs and parenting conflict with stepson’s mom.

    Reddit conversation about wife treating hubby like wallet on legs and tension over parenting teen stepson boundaries.

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    Screenshot of an online discussion about a husband upset over not being allowed to parent his stepson.

    Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a husband upset about being treated like a wallet on legs for his stepson.

    Comment advising husband to set boundaries with wife treating him like a wallet and not allowing parenting.

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    Screenshot of a comment expressing frustration about being treated like a wallet and excluded from parenting a teen stepson.

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    Reddit comment showing frustration about being treated like a wallet on legs and excluded from parenting stepson.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing issues with in-laws, parenting teens, and family gift dynamics.

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    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a wife treating her hubby like a wallet on legs and parenting conflicts with stepson.

    Comment expressing concern about fiance's mother being in love with him, calling it a huge red flag.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about unclear boundaries with a stepmother and issues in co-parenting a teen stepson.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment saying she weird af for that, related to wife treating hubby like wallet on legs for stepson.

    Comment advising to set boundaries with fiance about parents visiting monthly, addressing wallet on legs and parenting issues.

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    What do you think ?
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also OP and Fiance should talk to FIL, who appears to be somewhat sane and reasonable, and convince him his wife needs therapy ASAP, because she’s batshit cray-cray.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree that FIL sounds like an ally, but from my experience, people like MIL are not going to to agree to therapy 95% of the time unless serious threats like OP’s husband threatens to go low- or no-contact with mom. It sounds like from the update that OP found herself a good husband who is highly interested in changing the unhealthy relationship with his mom and is willing to do what’s necessary to improve his own mental health while strengthening their marriage, so I give him a lot of credit, and OP deserves a whole lot of credit for being open and honest with her husband and being supportive of him. I hope things work out for them ❤️

    Load More Replies...
    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    13 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have liked to know the MIL's reaction to being told she cannot visit them this month.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably exactly what you’d imagine. She threw a fit, she’s hurt, she’s devastated, she’ll go back and forth between the silent treatment and blowing up their phones, she’ll spread rumors around other family members about how OP specifically told her she was “banned” from their home… You know, all the typical fallout dealing with narcissists and/possibly BPD that you’ve read all about in other Reddit posts. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just stay elsewhere for any weekend they visit, or better yet have husband go to them.

    Load More Comments
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also OP and Fiance should talk to FIL, who appears to be somewhat sane and reasonable, and convince him his wife needs therapy ASAP, because she’s batshit cray-cray.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree that FIL sounds like an ally, but from my experience, people like MIL are not going to to agree to therapy 95% of the time unless serious threats like OP’s husband threatens to go low- or no-contact with mom. It sounds like from the update that OP found herself a good husband who is highly interested in changing the unhealthy relationship with his mom and is willing to do what’s necessary to improve his own mental health while strengthening their marriage, so I give him a lot of credit, and OP deserves a whole lot of credit for being open and honest with her husband and being supportive of him. I hope things work out for them ❤️

    Load More Replies...
    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    13 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have liked to know the MIL's reaction to being told she cannot visit them this month.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably exactly what you’d imagine. She threw a fit, she’s hurt, she’s devastated, she’ll go back and forth between the silent treatment and blowing up their phones, she’ll spread rumors around other family members about how OP specifically told her she was “banned” from their home… You know, all the typical fallout dealing with narcissists and/possibly BPD that you’ve read all about in other Reddit posts. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just stay elsewhere for any weekend they visit, or better yet have husband go to them.

    Load More Comments
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