The Internet Applauds This Guy For Standing Up To His Sister And Her “Picky” Children During Christmas Dinner
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids picky eating,
And everyone wishing to just disappear,
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
I can’t imagine a worse situation than putting a lot of effort into your Christmas dinner party, only for your sister’s teenage kids to scoff at it all and behave as toddlers do. My anger issues could never! Sadly, one person had to deal with such insolence, leading them to ask the good people of the Reddit community r/AmIthe[Jerk] whether they were in the wrong.
It’s a difficult situation with lots of nuance, but that’s what we’re here for, dear Pandas—to get to the bottom of it. So stick around for a story that is sure to bring your wine to a boil (add some cinnamon sticks and oranges for a festive treat).
As always, don’t downvote just because you disagree with the situation; don’t shoot the messenger! Leave your verdicts in the comments below and let’s dive into it! Oh, and if you’d like another story similar to this, here you go!
More info: Reddit
The last thing you want to hear after putting a lot of effort and love into preparing Christmas dinner for the family is that the “food looks gross”
Image source: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Would you be interested in some buttered bread for Christmas dinner? No, it’s not a starter, it’s your full meal. At this point, you’d probably be racking your brain for all the sins you’d committed that year that would have put you on the naughty list for this sort of treatment. However, when you’re an ungrateful spoiled little brat that’s actually not so little anymore, that’s what you end up with.
I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but I know what’s to come, and you, dear reader, don’t as of yet! But you soon will, don’t you worry bout a thing. Reddit user Suspicious-Cat1021 shared his Christmas dinner experience on the subreddit r/AmIthe[Jerk], detailing the very simple situation that turned a festive gathering into a frustrating one for all involved.
One man wondered whether they he did the right thing when confronted with such a situation. Here’s the full story:
Image source: Suspicious-Cat1021
‘Eat what’s prepared or don’t eat’ were the two alternatives the man gave his sister to prevent her from cooking meals for her two picky kids during the party
Image source: Malte Helmhold (not the actual photo)
To be the devil’s advocate, let’s look at all sides of the situation we have before us at present: two picky-eating teenagers, the mom that has helped condition their eating habits, and a very frustrated and confused host.
Let’s start with what picky eating actually means. Kathryn Walton and colleagues define picky/fussy eating as an unwillingness to eat familiar foods or try new foods that is severe enough to interfere with daily routines in a problematic way. Although definitions and measures vary, 14-50% of parents identify their preschool-age children as picky eaters.
Children can become picky eaters for a number of reasons. As discussed by UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospitals, some kids are naturally more sensitive to taste, smell, and food textures, making the experience of eating all the more strange. Others use it as a means of asserting independence.
But it’s never just the fault of the child. After all, parents are primarily responsible for feeding their children. Some kids develop picky eating habits by modeling their parents’ fussy eating habits. They’re also more likely to develop specific eating habits when parents punish, bribe, or reward their children’s eating behaviors.
A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics revealed that picky eating was to stay if the parents didn’t nip the behavior in the bud early enough. Furthermore, the study found that children who had difficulty controlling their emotions tended to be very picky eaters, so emotional intelligence also plays a big part.
Image source: Suspicious-Cat1021
Picky eating should never warrant rude behavior, and it seems that a huge case of miscommunication is to blame
Image source: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
The most commonly agreed upon piece of advice from experts for parents with picky eaters—don’t cook a separate kids’ meal. The family menu should not be limited to the child’s favorite foods; let your child eat what you are eating (with no choking hazards, obviously). If your child chooses to skip a meal or a snack, he or she can wait until the next scheduled mealtime.
Furthermore, there are certain red flags in this story that should be addressed, mostly the kids’ rude behavior and the mom’s negligence to discipline them. Dr. Traci Baxley argues that teaching compassion to children requires one to start saying ‘no’ sometimes.
Giving consequences to their unhealthy actions will support their ability to see situations from various viewpoints, and teaching kids to be grateful when they don’t get everything that they ask for is a crucial element in one’s development.
You may think they’re not paying attention, but kids watch very closely to see how you respond to situations, and in this one, it seems like the mother being okay with their picky eating habits, as well as the fuss that comes with it at the expense of other people, has led to an unhealthy feeling of entitlement and judgment.
It feels as though the kids’ mom just accepted the fact that her kids want to eat one particular meal and has continued to feed their unhealthy eating habits by preparing everything herself in someone else’s home.
It seems like the mom can’t come to terms with her kids growing up, as it’s really not normal for an 18- and 15-year-old to need their mom to continuously make them special meals when they’re visiting family. So in this case, the family bringing already prepared meals for all to share during dinner could’ve been a good compromise.
But let us know your thoughts in the comments below—what do you think would have been the best solution to this issue? What would your response have been to your nieces or nephews acting this way? I hope your Christmas dinner is all the more peaceful and loving compared to this, and I hope to see you in the next one!
People online have been as divided as the family over this situation. Some supported the man’s decision and how he handled the disagreement
Others have not been as understanding, criticizing the man for not offering a compromise when he knew of the situation. Let us know your stance in the comments!
Could be bad parenting, but people are clearly not considering the possibility of a degree of autism common in picky eaters.
YES! im autistic & a very picky eater because of it. i get a lot of anxiety when trying new foods, & it's even worse when i'm already out of my comfort zone (someone else's house) & i'm being pressured by others. although ive learned to politely say "no thank you," when offered food i dislike, there are others on the spectrum who struggle more with social cues & may not realize that their honest answer of "it looks gross" will be perceived as rude. autistic girls are very rarely diagnosed because of how misunderstood autism is as a spectrum. i don't doubt that the girls' reputation of being "bratty" to other family members is actually more evidence that they may be autistic & just misunderstood (temper tantrum vs overstimulation meltdown, intentional rudeness vs accidental brutal honesty, etc). either way, op just comes off as pretentious the way he doesn't even TRY to find a way to incorporate the girls' tastes into his menu so his sister wouldn't have a need to get in his way. "suck it up or f**k off" is such an unwelcoming energy whether the girls are autistic or not. it's just not a nice way to host, especially for family.
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At that age though, these kids…ones 18 so an adult already; were basically displaying rude a$$ behavior by making faces or saying the food looked gross. Usually family is well aware of what is going to be on the menu so it’s no surprise. With all the dishes available to them, they could’ve at least TRIED one of the dishes like cheesy potatoes (they like Mac n cheese obviously) and said “No thank you but thanks for making it. These girls are acting entitled. That no matter who’s house they go to, the food has to be prepared for THEIR liking. Not cool. I wouldn’t put up with that crapola in my house. My mother would’ve asked them to leave the table but my stepdad would’ve been quietly livid.
Right? What entitled little brats. I dare one of my nieces to try that bullsh*t in my house! My sister & her family are vegan. It's never been an issue. I make spaghetti and serve the Italian sausage on the side, with homemade bruschetta and a garden salad. Or we'll do "build your own" Greek salads where everything is in separate bowls, along with hummus and naan. The family (sister & fam, brother and wife, stepmom) husband & I got together about once a month. There was always something that everyone could eat.
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The one of the main duties of the host is to take into consideration the allergies, sensitivities, preference, cultural, and religious needs of their guests. If you know your guests won't eat X, Y and Z, then why on earth are not providing them with food they can/will eat?! A fantastic way to make people feel loved and welcomed is by providing food they can enjoy.
Yep, exactly this. You should have way more likes. It is not the job of the guest to cater to what the host thinks they should eat. If I was making dinner for a bunch of vegetarians, I wouldn't make turkey with bacon stuffed potatoes and ham on the side, then get mad that they won't eat it.
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For those mentioning the autism spectrum and ADHD*, OP said that there are no medical conditions; which both of those are. * I've got both as well I'm not trying to be crass to all y'all who are pointing this out, but OP edited his post. No medical conditions means no medical conditions. Again, I'm not trying to be crass, but it's been stated in the post. Edit: fixed some wording. Apologies if I'm coming off harsh as well.
I would say that he should have said no KNOWN medical conditions. I'm 37 and was just diagnosed with ADHD two months ago. It doesn't mean I didn't have it as a kid, just that it went undiagnosed because, when I was a kid, we knew so little about how it can present differently in different people.
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My grandma used to bake a stuffed duck I hated, salad I hated and cheesecake with raisins I hate, or poppy cake I refuse to eat, for every family gathering. The potatoes were good, but she would pour the duck fat on them, which I hated. I never said it was gross. I tried to be happy with the potatoes, a piece of duck, a bit of salad and I would take all the raisins out of the cheesecake and eat it. You need to behave when someone invites. It's more about being there and finding one thing you can praise the host for.
NTA, but if they eat mac and cheese, why not propose that their mum bring a side dish of cooked mac and cheese that they can have? It's a major pain in the a*s to have someone underfood cooking a separate meal when you're preparing a christmas dinner. Unless they have ASD (or some other difference) resulting in food selectivity, teens should have broarder palates. Calling the food 'gross' is unacceptably rude, and I'd disinvite them from the meal part of future festivities. "Nieces X & Y are invited to join us at 4pm (after lunch) for gift exchange, etc."
This! In any gatherings I host, be it family or friends, they all know that my kitchen is off limit and they better prepare to roll for init because I'm a real life Dragon protecting its Dungeon regarding this! No stealing from pots, no drinking from the punch, NO RUNNING IN MY LEGS WHILE I DEAL WITH MULTIPLE HOT BOILING DISHES.......... except my dog who's better behaved than 99% of the human race and patiently wait in his spot for his part.
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My 4 year old eats more then plain pasta and chicken nuggets. And really even if there is some mental health concerns (autism or anything) shoo their physical health be a concern bc I mean that's no where near a health diet.
NTA. The girls should eat more different stuff and explore some different things at least. He also warned his sister ahead of time but she still let them come over. If they were allergic, he is the A-hole by being inconsiderate and just plain out rude. However, they're just picky eaters and not allergic and I agree with him on his point that the foods that he prepared should be good enough to eat. I'm a picky eater and there were 2 things that I would eat from there. And also, it's quite rude of the girls to insult his cooking like that.
He also knew ahead of time that the girls would be unhappy with the meal he prepared, but did nothing to make food they would enjoy. Why does he insist on making his guests miserable?
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It's interesting that while he goes on and on about the girls' lack of manners, what he is doing is (a) knowing that some of his guests have certain food aversions and (b) purposely not preparing any foods to accommodate them, and moreover (c) not allowing the guests to even make their own foods that accommodate their aversions. Doesn't sound like a very considerate host to me, and doesn't sound like someone concerned with making his guests feel welcome or accepted. Work on your own manners before focusing on those girls.
He states he would've accepted it if the mom brought food that only needed reheating, but she wanted to cook it there. In his kitchen. While he was there slaving away to offer prolly expensive fancy dinner to his family... you know how annoying it is when your spouse somehow keeps being in the way no matter where they move, while you are cooking? and while preparing so many things at once? that's stressful. screw that. mom knew the menu beforehand and knew her kids. she 10000% should've brought their own food if it was truly impossible for the girls to eat anything but plain pasta.
Load More Replies... NTA~~I've known enough brats (young & old) to tell them to get over themselves when they're at my table. Those individuals weren't autistic, they were entitled and spoilt. I took care of two kids in the early 90's (No food allergies, neurotypical) who would make their grandmother provide them with an entirely different meal every time they came over. It stunned me that she would DO IT. I did an experiment with the kids. We went shopping and I asked for their opinions on everything we bought for supper. Got a yes on every item. Cooked it up (I am a GOOD cook) and served. The boy tucked in and the older girl (g5, b3) folded her arms and said she wouldn't eat it. I told her it was the same things she wanted at the store. She refused, so I took her plate and sent her to her room w/o supper. She whined and I told her he eat what she's served or go hungry. She went hungry.Her mother & I told GMA to stop spoiling them; she wasn't doing the kids any favors. They ate what was served after that.
I bet they can't wait until they need to look after you in old age, and they serve you whatever they feel like, if they bother at all
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“While telling me my food looks gross” she has raised them to be extremely rude. They would be asked to leave my table. You don’t have to eat it but be fûcking polite.
Ehhh, is there a chance its due to texture aversion? We have a few in my family where texture of food will cause gagging and vomiting.
Yeah, invite folks to your home and force them to eat things they don’t like or go hungry. That’s really cool… Not.
His dinner options sound delicious, if his sister and her kids refuse to eat that I'll gladly do!
I think the opposite. There's literally nothing from his options I'd eat and I'm as old as he is! Haha
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The 'kids' sound entitled and the mum is just enabling bad behaviour. They are old enough to know better and won't go far with the attitude that everyone should just cater to them. The food he prepared sounds delicious!
Tell me you have never dealt with fussy eaters without telling me
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To be honest, I wouldn't have eaten anything of the foods listed either, however, still NTA or maybe a soft ESH. I am vegan so some people might say this is as picky as it gets. Since most members of my family are unwilling to even try vegan food much less provide some themselves I have been bringing my own food for family gatherings for years. BUT I bring it ready to eat - I will not occupy the host's kitchen! If that is not possible for some reason (eating at a restaurant, for example) I will have to make do with what I can find or eat nothing at all. I am a pretty plump little partridge, I won't immediately starve if I am not fed every two to three hours and I can still be a pleasant guest just drinking lots and lots of tea. However, you will NEVER EVER hear me tell a host that their food is gross! For whatever reason these two eat such a restricted diet - far too little information on that to judge here - being rude is definitely not okay!
Well, he did give them bread, so they didn't starve. I'd tell my sister, I love you, but she raised a******s and not only nurtures and enables it, but she's really going to get an eye full when her kids go out in the real world and and no one tolerates the b******t she created.
My son has autism, so eating the same thing day in and day out kind of comes with the territory. But I will forever be grateful to his school for opening him up to vegetables like broccoli. They would serve the kids broccoli florets with ranch dip. They let my son pick his broccoli...3 pieces. He would pick the tiniest ones. But then he'd have to pick out bigger ones. Eventually, he got to the point of loving raw broccoli, cooked broccoli, then spinach, then asparagus. Sometimes you just need to cleverly open the door a crack....eventually they will swing the door open and walk through it.
Remember autism is a spectrum, not everyone can "learn" to eat some foods. There are extreme picky ones and forcing them to eat may traumatize them. I'm privileged bc I could learn to eat many foods I hated before but now I'm in burnout and sometimes even water disgusts me
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Is there another sensory issue my daughter is autistic and at 10 has a very limited diet and will just go hungry if we try other things . If that's not the case then it's definitely the moms fault for enabling this behaviour
Probably, yes. Imagine comments telling you it was your fault your daughter is a fussy eater, no parents aim for their kids to be fussy
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At 18 and 15 they are hardly kids, this is weird as hell, it sounds like woman has zero skill in rearing children if she plans to pander to this ridiculousness that long
LOL you know my parents had four children before me, plenty of skill in rearing children. Three of my four older siblings all eat a wide variety of foods. One older sister and myself are very limited, picky eaters. I am diagnosed with SPD. We all grew up to be healthy, normal adults. My one sis and I still both hate lots of foods. If I was invited to the OP’s dinner of ribs and cheesy potatoes I would ALSO have eaten nothing but bread. This isn’t because my parents were skilled in raising three children, but failed my sister and I. Good parenting can still result in picky eaters. Parent the children you have, not the imaginary children you want to have.
Load More Replies... Leave my table. (Period) They are not vegan because she was going to fix chicken tenders so they could have the bbq ribs, they aren’t lactose they could have ate the cheesy potatoes. I say be hungry I don’t care .
I think girls are spoiled brats and should be thankful for good food before them as many going hungry this year would jump at chance of decent meal
Because their mother allows this behavior and condones it. With so many people wishing they had just a 1/4 of what these girls were offered…you’d think they’d be a little grateful. Obviously they’ve never suffered from food insecurity.
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If I invite people over for a meal, I always ask them about their preferences and dislikes, as well as diets and allergies. It's so I can make a meal everyone enjoys, because you don't host for yourself. Of course mom is in the wrong here for not bringing a prepared meal her daughters could eat when she got told in advance, and she should have taught her teens to politely turn down meals. But the OP isn't in the clear either, and it's not up to him to decide how those girls should be raised. He's being an inconsiderate host.
So many of these replies miss the fact that OP gave their sister 2 weeks notice that there wouldn't be kitchen space for her to cook for her kids AND that could cook for the girls before hand and bring that food with her. Sister chose to ignore all of that and in doing so she single-handedly created the issue of the girls not having anything to eat. OP wasn't causing the issue and is obviously NTA. Sister is 100% TA for not providing for her picky children. The girls can have food issues and they're not TA on that because I assume mom didn't tell them about what OP asked if her. They are TAs for being rude about the food "looking gross" Who thinks it's okay to behave that way at 15 and 18?
If there is no respect coming towards me from the host, as demonstrated by not serving any suitable food and judging my eating habits, I would have no problem saying that it looked gross at double their age
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I did wonder at OP's idea that at least some of the items on the list would appeal to teens he knows stick to a very limited diet, especially when one doesn't do vegetables and the only meat they seem to eat is chicken. Even cheesy potatoes could off-putting for them depending what the recipe includes, like onions (cheesy potatoes is vague as it could mean any of a number of recipes). If they like mac and cheese, he could have served cauliflower cheese instead of breaded cauliflower (the 18yo might have tried it). Instead of both fillet roast and BBQ ribs, he could have done one of those plus a chicken dish (that wasn't tenders). But really, I think for the the sake of the girls' health OP's sister needs to see if there is a diagnosis which needs too be made so they can get any help they need and/or any necessary understanding from their family they aren't just being brats.
Picky and attitude problem? Their parents must be very lenient with them :O
Let's hope you never have to parent someone with sensory processing issues
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The food sounds so good. Even as a child I already ate stuff I hated not to upset the Cook. It's a mix of personality and upbringing.
Doing things that you don't want to in order to people please for validation is not the wonderful trait you are portraying, it will result in others taking advantage of your compliant nature.
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Mother seems to be spoiling them. None of my business, though. Two sides to every story, I'm sure the mother would have something different to add to the story if she could.
I dont think shes spoiling them. My parents knew I was a picky eater and always made me things I would have. I tried things that they would eat I tried things that even they wouldn't eat but I just don't like the stuff. I would say the Mam didn't want her daughters to feel uncomfortable in a situation where food is already a bit of an issue.
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The whole family sound like pieces of work, TBH. Yes, the two teenagers--especially the one who is old enough to vote--should have learned by now how to act at a meal that doesn't cater 100% to their preferences, eating what they can stand and refraining from drawing attention to what they are choosing not to eat. But the grown adult man should also know better than to pick this as his hill to die on when it's his turn to host Christmas. If he actually thinks that doing this is going to improve the teens' food preferences or their manners, he's an idiot, and if he *doesn't* think that, then the other explanation is that he wanted them to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. Idiot or AH, those are the options here.
honestly, they were warned soo... i would have made a small dish of buttered noodles with sauses on the side and let the not eat if they didnt want that
These teens would starve if they were in my family...if there wasn't a medical reason you're eating it!
I have Asperger's, so I'm very particular about textures and flavours. I like really strong flavours but if the texture is not right I can't stomach it. I also seemingly quite suddenly go off certain foods; I also have a lot of food intolerances now, and I have IBS so this is made me quite a picky eater: I can't use any kind of legumes or vegan type foods (soy based), anything overly processed, anything that is too chargrilled, whole groups of foods related to cabbage for example... I also can't stomach cheap instant coffee, I don't like anything but butter spread on my bread; I can't eat linseed which is an all the kind of healthy breads I do like to eat. I don't really go out much anyway, I have chronic health issues which keep me mostly housebound.
When my daughter was little we always make sure she tried new things and if she didn't like a food the first time, we tried a different recipe/method of cooking or serving. To this day she eats just about everything.
Load More Replies... See a lot of "could be autism/eating disorder/etc". OR it could just be two spoiled teens never having been told NO. Sometimes things aren't that complicated
I was a fussy eater, (no allergies or illnesses). But when it came to eating at a relative's home, we kids were all told in advance: "You will eat what is given to you. You will say please and thank you. You will not whine. Your relatives spent their time and money cooking. Be grateful and be polite." That statement was always followed by: "Do I make myself clear?" I'm so grateful to mom and dad for not putting up with any of our drama.
Geez, I have legit mental illnesses and I'm very picky but even as a kid I grasped that when you're a guest you eat what you're served and compliment the cook. Even if you hate it and just nibble at the edges and wind up stealth spitting it into the bottom of the bathroom trashcan, you eat what you're served and thank the host for serving it. For TEENAGERS to be pulling this c**p and their mom catering to them, even at a holiday dinner? Lunacy.
I started to go to the farmer's markets to introduce my daughters to new foods. Not that it changed much with the younger one, who was still picky, however, once she started cooking, she became more adventurous with recipes. Just last week she made pickle soup, which was delicious. Just a strategy to offer.
I have autistic kids so can understand it off them , but older kids n one is an adult sitting there making rude comments about your food is not on, tbh I'd of told them to leave the table and not return until they can say something nice! Entitled brats!
I would tell the mom of the picky eaters that as soon as our dinner has been prepared, plated, and on the table she can go into the kitchen to cook for her girls. I would also expect her to clean up pots and pans she used.
Everyone sucks here. The OP for singling the girls out, and the girls mom for sheltering them and being prissy. The "girls" are old enough to just not go. People forget that "not going" is always an option. I am 44 and I only eat about 4 out of 18ish things my family always brings. Whoevers house it is it does the meat, then we all bring dishes. I do not like veggies so I stick to meat and potatoes. Maybe the OP could make a wider selection? Maybe the "girls" csn come full? Maybe the mom needs to cut the cord?
I don't eat meat but not everyone I know is aware of that because I can sit and have a meal without telling people. I have never went hungry, there is always something to eat, I love every veg there is so no one has ever had to go around my eating habits nor do I expect anyone to.
I always tell people I'm vegetarian, so I don't end up being an inconvenience. If there's a one pan dish with meat, I'd not be able to eat and often hosts feel guilty then. I never expect a whole meal and always assure that bread or some vegetables is enough for me, so they don't need to go through trouble for me.
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ESH sucks. As a picky eater myself, I honestly don't like those foods. I'm also lactose intolerant, so I wouldn't even be able to eat the cheesy potatoes. That said the woman shouldn't have taken over your kitchen, she can make the kids dinners ahead of time.
My brothers kids were very picky eaters. Mostly because their mother was lazy and only gave them chicken tenders or pasta w butter and cheese or pizza. They were like this into adulthood. My nephew (few years younger than his sister but in his 30s) will try an does eat variety's of foods. My neice is so picky. Fast food mostly is her standard because it's always the same. At my wedding reception she at first wasn't going to come but when I asked why she said she didn't like the food options. That's a stupid reason. I wound up having to pay extra to have plain pasta w butter made for her for her dinner. Just so she would come. She prob would have came if I told her all the appetizers and salads and etc but I went out of my way to make her comfortable. I won't do it again. At 13/15 a young adult needs to learn there are other foods out there an they can't be a child pouting about food served to them. Op stood his ground. He should have asked them to leave the table.
"I was respectful, considerate and accommodating, but now I won't be in future".
Load More Replies... I get where the guys coming from but that seems a bit immature and unnecessary. If the kids have a real issue with food then that is just plain mean. He made his family members feel uncomfortable because he has an issue with their picky eating. They will remember this and will most likely not have a good relationship with him in the future.
So many people don't have enough to eat. Just bring your own food and shut up. It doesn't have to be a soap box issue.
Extended families should contribute what they eat to the meal. But bring it ready ti eat. My divorced uncles stop by KFC and we all wish he would spring for extra mashed potatoes and gravy
My parents cook things my daughter does not eat. My daughter is 27. My mom thinks turkey is not done if juice is running out of it. My daughter brought gravy. My mom cooks cornbread something none of us eat. I cook cream potatoes. My daughter cooked mac and cheese. We cooked all of our food and brought it hot. In casserole dishes ready to sit on table. Except my daughter's gravy had to be heated in the microwave. I smoked, mushroom stuffed, bacon wrapped turkey breasts one year and because they were still pink, my mom kept microwaving hers because she was convinced it was still raw.
I am 51 and am an incredibly picky eater. But, I can always find something to eat. And I would NEVER tell someone their food looked gross. How rude.
Dude, the girls aren't picky, they just don't like your cooking. Stuffed artichokes, breaded cauliflower and ratatouille is standard fare? No, standard fare are favorite foods that the whole family enjoys. You couldn't cook just a couple of dishes that your nieces might enjoy? Dude, you suck.
I knew a girl, in college, in the 80s, who would only eat white, sliced bread with margarine, salt and vinegar crisps, and boiled ham. Her only drink was Coke. She wondered why she had bad skin.
I can tell you what will happen with the "picky eaters" as they become adults. I know because I have lived this as an Aunt to these privileged little "b!tches". 1. Be prepared, mom and dad, to have them living with you until you die 2. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING... will ever be good enough. A job...oh no!...it's horrible, I have to TALK to people, it doesn't pay anywhere near what I am worth, no I don't have experience in that field but I deserve to make more than 15 bux an hour. Your food will NEVER be up to their standards (I never eat iceberg lettuce, it is romaine or spring mix). Roast beef from a package and not the deli...not on my sandwich. 3. So parents be prepared. You need to have a hefty savings account or take another job when you are 75 because your 50+ kid will still be with you. Good luck and make sure you don't call me to ask what happened. I told you and you blocked me so you are dead to me now. Good luck, by the way, in buying that brand new car for her!
Sis could have bought mac and cheese. Our son is autistic and we have nurtured his palate from a very young age. He eats broccoli, brussel sprouts, spinach, sushi, fish, chicken. He has likes and dislikes just like everyone else. But he will try new foods. 18 is a bit late to start.
I think 15 & 18 are way too old to have special & simple meals cooked for them. If bread & butter id all you'll eat, well then, that's all you'll get. That's one consideration. Other is that OP *did* advise his sister she would not be using his kitchen. I could be picky as a kid, (but knew better from a young age than to insult others' food, and that I was to be quiet and eat what looked okay.) My son, however, had severe sensory issues as a child, so severe that if he even gamely tried to take a bite of a food he didn't like because of taste, texture, or appearance, he would gag involuntarily so hard that sometimes he would vomit. He outgrew it, though. At age 8, he ate like 3 things and I was desperate to feed him properly. By age 11, he was already trying new foods, and as a young adult, he is actually a foodie and an amazing home cook, especially the food of his India heritage. My other kid ate everything in sight from the moment she could chew. Never worried about her.
I'm picky for taste and texture. I'm only allergic to a couple of things but nothing that would cause me to be fussy. I cant help it. I have tried and tried and tried loads of new things and I just can't get on board with things. Like cheese or pizza or pasta (just an example the list is long!) I really REALLY want to like different foods because being the outsider or the one who doesn't get invited out because your friends want to go to a restaurant is very isolating and having people get annoyed at you for something you just can't help can be very hurtful too. I would never insult someone on their cooking but its so embarrassing when they make an effort and you have to tell them you don't want to eat it because of it containing cheese or because it makes you gag trying to eat whatever it is. I wouldnt wish being a fussy eater on my worst enemy its horrible.
Picky eater here (mom pureed everything until I was 2). My family eats European food some of which is too awful to smell. I was ridiculed, teased, not allowed to use a fork until I was 12. I was never rude ( didn't dare) and couldn't defend myself. The only item on OP's menu I could eat is salad. We usually had goose so I would eat potatoes, gravy, and a veggie I liked (once I wasn't forced to eat hated ones). The smell of cauliflower still makes me nauseated after 45 yrs. It's abusive to try to force a sensitive person to eat anything especially in front of lots of family. Let them eat in peace. Lifelong vegetarian btw.
Just going to throw my opinion here, the girls may be autistic. Many autistic people have a severely restricted diet because of sensory issues around food. Girls are often undiagnosed because they are good at mimicking others and it can look like normal teenage behavior. It could be they were genuinely disgusted by his food and saying so is also another autistic trait, we have no filters and poor social skills. I think he should have just made them pasta and chicken and stopped being an a*s about it.
NTA your sister knew in advance she should've cooked at home nobody wants extra hands in the kitchen while cooking and those brats need grow up and i would've told them to leave the table is my house and the sister need teach them manners the girls could've tried the food first
Your are NTA but, don't tell your children to say, that it tastes good if that is not true. The host may believe it and serve it again. And someday find out, that they didn't like it at all and feel very embarrassed because of it. If they are asked how they liked the food, teach them to tell the truth in as kind a way as possible, and not to volunteer an opinion if not asked. Unless of course they really enjoyed it.
There is probably a medical reason for these girls to be this picky. For example, kids on the spectrum have sensory issues that attribute to their pickiness. And rigidity is an autism characteristic.
Well, I came up in one of those "eat what is set before you" households. However, I found the flaw, I learned to cook and made probably half the dinners since I was age 12 until I moved out (mom was single, working mom). Now they (mom, little brother) had to eat what I cooked (nothing crazy).
If they want to act like toddlers, treat them as such. Serve jello squares and cut up hot dogs. Set up a separate kiddie table, serve them first, make their plates up for them, tell them children should be seen, not heard. NTA.
Consider myself a picky eater, but I would never in a million years bring my own food to someone else's house if they're already cooking. Those two brats needs to grow up and so does their mother
So, when they go out to dinner with friends and their friends order what they don't like, do they tell their friends "Your food looks gross" and act like little beasts? Probably not. Their Mom made a big deal out of it and pretty much set up their rude behavior.
Im really torn about this. On the one hand, I'm totally for not making a separate dish for each person at the table. My house isn't a restaurant, everyone gets served the same food at dinner time. If you don't like something, don't eat it. So I totally get OP not letting his sister make food specifically for her daughters especially with so much else going on in the kitchen. BUT at the same time, OP clearly knows what his nieces like to eat and he could have incorporated something they like in the meal for everyone that he was making. Yeah, the sister is not doing her daughters any favors by catering to them like that, but it's not his place to change how she parents. Nor is it his place to try to change his nieces' attitude toward food.
I´ll go with ESH here: If what OP insinuates is true (and there is no untold back round as autism or so), the mother basically fed into her daughters´ picky eating to the point that it may well amount to an eating disorder, with presumably pretty negative effects for the girls - like perhaps them being invited less to friend´s houses as being considered odd by kids and parents, them depending a lot on the mother and so on. In any case instead of trying to either stay out of it and let the mother´s behavior slide or get involved as in trying talk with the mother on how she likely harms her children there, he chose to get annoyed and aggressive and basically let it out on the girls, whose only learning experience certainly was that their uncle hates them...
To add to the ASD suggestions, the fact that the food they do eat is very plain and beige would be further evidence. This is a thing for some people on the spectrum.
Mom always made a couple of veggies and we could eat the one we liked. I personally don't like raw tomatoes except sliced on a sandwich. And not a "tomato sandwich". When I was a kid somehow mom or dad put a slice of tomato on my plate. I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I ate it. So I sat for a long time before taking a bite. Vomited all over the table but was never forced to eat raw tomatoes again. My sister says even parents can be taught something new!
I get not eating certain things because of taste, texture or smell. I consider myself to be a quite picky eater. But I would never under any circumstances tell someone the food they prepared looks gross. I can't eat bananas because the texture just makes me gag. I can tolerate bananas in things like smoothies, or banana bread. Mushrooms are totally the worst for me texture, smell and taste wise - I will cook them for family but eat something different and probably open the window while cooking and eating. If I'm invited someplace and the food offered is something I don't like I'll just fill up on sides. Some people react worried and ask if they should provide something else, but I always tell them no to bother there is plenty on the table I like and I sure won't go hungry.
Could I have sensory issues? My cousin has this two disabilities not medically related, but certain people have certain texture issues it could be a texture thing where they can’t stand certain textures of certain foods, so it could be a texture thing.
I think, their mom is the a*****e. She should've made the food for her nearly adult children and bring it with her, since her brother to,d her in enough time for her to do that. Also, those poor girls will have a very hard time when they start dating, and some guy takes them out to dinner, a nice place, and they order off the kids menu and refuse to eat from the adult, and probably yummy menu! Plus, if they continue this bad eating behaviors, if they find someone to marry, and they do not cook anything but chicken nuggets and buttered pasta, or certain sandwiches, and refuse to try new foods, they may not make it to the wedding! I do not know many teen boys or adult men who live on nuggets and buttered pasta! Mom needs to let go of the food reigns and help them make better food choices, or in the future, be in extremely poor health.
Sounds like the kids probably have some autism spectrum an/or adhd. Me myself is an extremely picky eater. I can’t just stand some textures in my mouth. Same with some smell or tastes. That food looks gross, but as an adult I learned that it’s not nice to tell people that. And I also had to learn that it’s sometimes okey to tell a white lie. (Even if lies are incredibly bad in my world and it would be better to tell the truth that the food looks disgusting) That social skill is something that has to be learned. It doesn’t come naturally for us.
I say this as an autist, don't f*****g armchair diagnose people, in general tbh, but especially on basis of them being picky eaters when raised by a woman who obviously doesn't encourage them to even try new things, and behaving rude in a way which is not remotely uncommon for neurotypical teens, on basis of a like 100 word reddit post, wtf??? Especially when food issues aren't even limited to those disorders and there's just as big a possibility that they have both food issues as well as normal social skills and them behaving rudely is just because they're irritated at only eating bread, with their mother openly encouraging their rude behaviour?? Not to mention they could even be autistic and also be rude for the sake of being rude... It's ok to say that they MIGHT have some form of food or processing issue caused by whatever, but immediately assuming they're probably neurodivergent just bc they were rude in combination with having a potential issue is going a bit far sis
Load More Replies... You're definitely the AH. All you had to do was let your sister prep food for her kids in your kitchen. They didn't ask you to cook the meal or get the ingredients for said meal. And what gives you the right to decide what another human being eats? They're are old enough to decide what they bloody want to eat. You need to apologize to your sister and her kids asap.
He might have a small kitchen. Mom could have prepared food at home and just reheated at the brother's. He told her in advance and she didn't listen. If they're old enough to decide what they want to eat, they sure as hell are old enough to prepare it themselves at home or at least be polite to the host.
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to be fair he could a sat them all down before he made a menu and asked for their input. He
Completely unrelated to the article. ~ But really ~ Does anyone else see a Dashshund Dog in the photo about to be carved up and be eaten in the offending meal that has been found to be "Gross"
I must add ~ on a totally unrelated note ~ the photo chosen to accompany this article is completely off the wall hilariously oddly in weird. It looks like a dachshund dog about to be carved up for Thanksgiving dinner, which, strangely would fit this article better than what was actually meant to be chosen to accompany the article in the first place.
The entitlement...and it's the mother's fault for encouraging it, at such advanced ages no less! I'm 46. Our family tradition is to have Polish food. I'm not a fan, never have been. However, I manage to find something to eat & keep my mouth shut because literally everyone else loves it. That's something the spoiled brats need to learn, unless it takes their friends & boyfriends to humiliate them down the road.
NTA and your sister is a downright b*tch who has fostered this level of pickiness. She allowed her 2 almost adult children to disrespect you in your own home. I understand that you didn't want to make even more of an issue, but I really think you should have either just told your sister to leave them at home, or barring that asked them politely to leave the table since they couldn't eat ANYTHING. You're not a f*cking restaurant.
"The food i make is standard"...maybe the way you prepare it is not. The same food can taste very differently when made by a different cook. Not saying your food is disgusting just doesnt taste and look like they are used to. For example I am trying to avoid eating at my MIL. She cooks a lot of meals I normally eat but she just makes them so different that i dont like them at all. My husband does like the meals though. BUT I never make faces or have nasty comments when I eat there. So Esh. You could have asked what the girls would like to eat or tell sister to prepare the food at home. It was clear teenagers would rebel by not eating at all. You just spoilt the evening for everyone
Don't celebrate with them anymore. Let the sister cook at home with her 2 entitled brats. You will be much happier without them.
Ignoring the girl's and the reasons behind being picky, etc, what was his goal out of this? Was it to make the girls eat his food because if it was that easy pretty sure it would have happened years before. If it was to simply "make a point", he could actually just have an adult conversation with the girls and they might open up or listen. However, doing this in such a passive aggressive manner is not going to fix anything or help anyone - including himself.
It's not passive-aggressive. He was very up front with his sister, gave her plenty of warning, and the issue (which seems to have gotten lost) is that he didn't want the hassle of his sister cooking while he prepared a large meal. She easily could have prepared a cheese and noodle dish at home & brought it with her. It sounds like the sister wanted some kind of conflict.
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I get where this guy is coming from but he is still an a*****e. I'm 23 and I was a horribly picky eater until a couple years ago. What this guy is doing isn't going to help those girls. When I went to the army and had to choose between eating something I don't like and going hungry, I just didn't eat and I spent over a year going most days on one meal a day. I still usually won't touch food that I don't know exactly what is in it, including all spices and herbs. What actually helped me was getting treated for my eating disorder. This level of pickiness that the girls display definitely indicates there is something else going on ( undiagnosed ASD, eating disorder, etc...). If this guy was actually concerned for his nieces he would have talked to his sister about maybe getting the girls professional help, as the way the are eating now really is unhealthy. But instead he just chose to let them go hungry out of spite.
I say this as an autist, stop fkin armchair diagnosing people based on 100 word reddit posts lmao. It could be a disorder..... Orrrrrr it could just be them never having been pushed outside of their comfort zone by their mom. With the mom's enabling behaviour, I also very much doubt she would actually get over herself to get them potential help lol bc if they BOTH do have an eating disorder there's a good chance it's her fault and contacting professionals would mean admitting that to herself first... He also didn't 'chose to let them go hungry out of spite', he was annoyed with sister taking up the limited kitchen space in his own kitchen to make fkin chicken nuggets and he had warned her well in advance, she could've prepared food at her own kitchen and brought it...
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I used to be a very picky eater, it was a combination of not being exposed to a variety of foods as a kid (mom hated cooking) and undiagnosed autism. I still have hard no-foods, but it's gotten much better in adulthood. I get that, as a host, it might hurt your pride when people won't eat your food, but seriously, how difficult is it to just let them microwave something they know they can eat? It would be the thing a *gracious* host would do.
Lmao read the full article before casting judgement. 🙄 He clearly stated in one of the replies that microwaving a plate prepared prior would be a fine compromise, he just didn't want his sister to take over his limited kitchen space where other cooking was taking place to cook fkin chicken nuggets.
Load More Replies... Bro at 15 and 18 you can literally cook your own food, if they need chicken nuggets so bad why is the mom making them in the kitchen and being in the way when the girls can also just make meals a home they put in the microwave there or bake their chicken nuggets after all the other food is done??
F*** the OP and F*** the "experts" you quoted BP. Being a picky eater isn't usually about being rude or entitled or childish. Clearly more people need to educate themselves on Neurodivergence and how it effects eating habits. Make the damn nuggies and pasta and stop being a d i c k.
YTA. At that age those children probably have sensory issues. Her mom is just trying to keep the peace so they don’t make you feel bad about your cooking.
This guy NTA until "we love in a society where not catering to them will be seen as abuse by many", which is patently untrue as evidenced by reality and the LITERAL REPLIES in the thread. I cant stand people like this, the 'nobody wants to work anymore' dipshits.
I'm gonna go with ESH, but the OP sucks the worst. How hard is it for people to compromise? He has this "principle" that his guests have to enjoy the food he cooks, but then cooks food he knows that some of his guests won't enjoy. He says "I didn't feel the need to cook pasta and butter"...so you didn't feel the need to make these girls feel included? Girls who probably didn't have the option to attend your dinner? His sister sucks for not listening to him, and expecting him to giver her space in his kitchen to prepare food that only two people will eat, while he is preparing food for everyone else - why couldn't she have prepped the food at home? And the girls suck for sitting there and insulting his food.
I have pointedly NOT called the girls the AH's for being picky eaters, because there are a LOT of potential reasons for that. Food intolerances (maybe not allergies, but just something that makes them physically uncomfortable) and neurodiversity are two reasons that come to mind. You don't get to criticize what someone else chooses to put into their body, or to call them a******s for not putting the same things into their body that you are okay with putting into yours.
Load More Replies... Ok im an extremely picky eater. Its not for the want of trying new things in desperation to be able to be considered "normal " being excluded because you don't like something is really sh!t. Everything this dude mentioned that he cooked I wouldnt eat either. Its horrible for people to not only get annoyed that you're a fussy eater but to clearly go out if their way to make you uncomfortable and single you out for it. 100% YTA
Are you picky because of the taste or because of dietary restrictions? Or you're picky because you only eat what you have tried and love? I'm not picky at all because I grew up in poverty and I'm not going to lie, I don't even know half of the food that OP cooks but I'd love to try them XD
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It seems like you aren't really getting what he's saying. He's saying that they should at least learn to eat what is in front of them or eat nothing which they may face multiple times later on in life. Gender doesn't matter in this.
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Could be bad parenting, but people are clearly not considering the possibility of a degree of autism common in picky eaters.
YES! im autistic & a very picky eater because of it. i get a lot of anxiety when trying new foods, & it's even worse when i'm already out of my comfort zone (someone else's house) & i'm being pressured by others. although ive learned to politely say "no thank you," when offered food i dislike, there are others on the spectrum who struggle more with social cues & may not realize that their honest answer of "it looks gross" will be perceived as rude. autistic girls are very rarely diagnosed because of how misunderstood autism is as a spectrum. i don't doubt that the girls' reputation of being "bratty" to other family members is actually more evidence that they may be autistic & just misunderstood (temper tantrum vs overstimulation meltdown, intentional rudeness vs accidental brutal honesty, etc). either way, op just comes off as pretentious the way he doesn't even TRY to find a way to incorporate the girls' tastes into his menu so his sister wouldn't have a need to get in his way. "suck it up or f**k off" is such an unwelcoming energy whether the girls are autistic or not. it's just not a nice way to host, especially for family.
Load More Replies... At that age though, these kids…ones 18 so an adult already; were basically displaying rude a$$ behavior by making faces or saying the food looked gross. Usually family is well aware of what is going to be on the menu so it’s no surprise. With all the dishes available to them, they could’ve at least TRIED one of the dishes like cheesy potatoes (they like Mac n cheese obviously) and said “No thank you but thanks for making it. These girls are acting entitled. That no matter who’s house they go to, the food has to be prepared for THEIR liking. Not cool. I wouldn’t put up with that crapola in my house. My mother would’ve asked them to leave the table but my stepdad would’ve been quietly livid.
Right? What entitled little brats. I dare one of my nieces to try that bullsh*t in my house! My sister & her family are vegan. It's never been an issue. I make spaghetti and serve the Italian sausage on the side, with homemade bruschetta and a garden salad. Or we'll do "build your own" Greek salads where everything is in separate bowls, along with hummus and naan. The family (sister & fam, brother and wife, stepmom) husband & I got together about once a month. There was always something that everyone could eat.
Load More Replies... The one of the main duties of the host is to take into consideration the allergies, sensitivities, preference, cultural, and religious needs of their guests. If you know your guests won't eat X, Y and Z, then why on earth are not providing them with food they can/will eat?! A fantastic way to make people feel loved and welcomed is by providing food they can enjoy.
Yep, exactly this. You should have way more likes. It is not the job of the guest to cater to what the host thinks they should eat. If I was making dinner for a bunch of vegetarians, I wouldn't make turkey with bacon stuffed potatoes and ham on the side, then get mad that they won't eat it.
Load More Replies... For those mentioning the autism spectrum and ADHD*, OP said that there are no medical conditions; which both of those are. * I've got both as well I'm not trying to be crass to all y'all who are pointing this out, but OP edited his post. No medical conditions means no medical conditions. Again, I'm not trying to be crass, but it's been stated in the post. Edit: fixed some wording. Apologies if I'm coming off harsh as well.
I would say that he should have said no KNOWN medical conditions. I'm 37 and was just diagnosed with ADHD two months ago. It doesn't mean I didn't have it as a kid, just that it went undiagnosed because, when I was a kid, we knew so little about how it can present differently in different people.
Load More Replies... My grandma used to bake a stuffed duck I hated, salad I hated and cheesecake with raisins I hate, or poppy cake I refuse to eat, for every family gathering. The potatoes were good, but she would pour the duck fat on them, which I hated. I never said it was gross. I tried to be happy with the potatoes, a piece of duck, a bit of salad and I would take all the raisins out of the cheesecake and eat it. You need to behave when someone invites. It's more about being there and finding one thing you can praise the host for.
NTA, but if they eat mac and cheese, why not propose that their mum bring a side dish of cooked mac and cheese that they can have? It's a major pain in the a*s to have someone underfood cooking a separate meal when you're preparing a christmas dinner. Unless they have ASD (or some other difference) resulting in food selectivity, teens should have broarder palates. Calling the food 'gross' is unacceptably rude, and I'd disinvite them from the meal part of future festivities. "Nieces X & Y are invited to join us at 4pm (after lunch) for gift exchange, etc."
This! In any gatherings I host, be it family or friends, they all know that my kitchen is off limit and they better prepare to roll for init because I'm a real life Dragon protecting its Dungeon regarding this! No stealing from pots, no drinking from the punch, NO RUNNING IN MY LEGS WHILE I DEAL WITH MULTIPLE HOT BOILING DISHES.......... except my dog who's better behaved than 99% of the human race and patiently wait in his spot for his part.
Load More Replies... My 4 year old eats more then plain pasta and chicken nuggets. And really even if there is some mental health concerns (autism or anything) shoo their physical health be a concern bc I mean that's no where near a health diet.
NTA. The girls should eat more different stuff and explore some different things at least. He also warned his sister ahead of time but she still let them come over. If they were allergic, he is the A-hole by being inconsiderate and just plain out rude. However, they're just picky eaters and not allergic and I agree with him on his point that the foods that he prepared should be good enough to eat. I'm a picky eater and there were 2 things that I would eat from there. And also, it's quite rude of the girls to insult his cooking like that.
He also knew ahead of time that the girls would be unhappy with the meal he prepared, but did nothing to make food they would enjoy. Why does he insist on making his guests miserable?
Load More Replies... It's interesting that while he goes on and on about the girls' lack of manners, what he is doing is (a) knowing that some of his guests have certain food aversions and (b) purposely not preparing any foods to accommodate them, and moreover (c) not allowing the guests to even make their own foods that accommodate their aversions. Doesn't sound like a very considerate host to me, and doesn't sound like someone concerned with making his guests feel welcome or accepted. Work on your own manners before focusing on those girls.
He states he would've accepted it if the mom brought food that only needed reheating, but she wanted to cook it there. In his kitchen. While he was there slaving away to offer prolly expensive fancy dinner to his family... you know how annoying it is when your spouse somehow keeps being in the way no matter where they move, while you are cooking? and while preparing so many things at once? that's stressful. screw that. mom knew the menu beforehand and knew her kids. she 10000% should've brought their own food if it was truly impossible for the girls to eat anything but plain pasta.
Load More Replies... NTA~~I've known enough brats (young & old) to tell them to get over themselves when they're at my table. Those individuals weren't autistic, they were entitled and spoilt. I took care of two kids in the early 90's (No food allergies, neurotypical) who would make their grandmother provide them with an entirely different meal every time they came over. It stunned me that she would DO IT. I did an experiment with the kids. We went shopping and I asked for their opinions on everything we bought for supper. Got a yes on every item. Cooked it up (I am a GOOD cook) and served. The boy tucked in and the older girl (g5, b3) folded her arms and said she wouldn't eat it. I told her it was the same things she wanted at the store. She refused, so I took her plate and sent her to her room w/o supper. She whined and I told her he eat what she's served or go hungry. She went hungry.Her mother & I told GMA to stop spoiling them; she wasn't doing the kids any favors. They ate what was served after that.
I bet they can't wait until they need to look after you in old age, and they serve you whatever they feel like, if they bother at all
Load More Replies... “While telling me my food looks gross” she has raised them to be extremely rude. They would be asked to leave my table. You don’t have to eat it but be fûcking polite.
Ehhh, is there a chance its due to texture aversion? We have a few in my family where texture of food will cause gagging and vomiting.
Yeah, invite folks to your home and force them to eat things they don’t like or go hungry. That’s really cool… Not.
His dinner options sound delicious, if his sister and her kids refuse to eat that I'll gladly do!
I think the opposite. There's literally nothing from his options I'd eat and I'm as old as he is! Haha
Load More Replies... The 'kids' sound entitled and the mum is just enabling bad behaviour. They are old enough to know better and won't go far with the attitude that everyone should just cater to them. The food he prepared sounds delicious!
Tell me you have never dealt with fussy eaters without telling me
Load More Replies... To be honest, I wouldn't have eaten anything of the foods listed either, however, still NTA or maybe a soft ESH. I am vegan so some people might say this is as picky as it gets. Since most members of my family are unwilling to even try vegan food much less provide some themselves I have been bringing my own food for family gatherings for years. BUT I bring it ready to eat - I will not occupy the host's kitchen! If that is not possible for some reason (eating at a restaurant, for example) I will have to make do with what I can find or eat nothing at all. I am a pretty plump little partridge, I won't immediately starve if I am not fed every two to three hours and I can still be a pleasant guest just drinking lots and lots of tea. However, you will NEVER EVER hear me tell a host that their food is gross! For whatever reason these two eat such a restricted diet - far too little information on that to judge here - being rude is definitely not okay!
Well, he did give them bread, so they didn't starve. I'd tell my sister, I love you, but she raised a******s and not only nurtures and enables it, but she's really going to get an eye full when her kids go out in the real world and and no one tolerates the b******t she created.
My son has autism, so eating the same thing day in and day out kind of comes with the territory. But I will forever be grateful to his school for opening him up to vegetables like broccoli. They would serve the kids broccoli florets with ranch dip. They let my son pick his broccoli...3 pieces. He would pick the tiniest ones. But then he'd have to pick out bigger ones. Eventually, he got to the point of loving raw broccoli, cooked broccoli, then spinach, then asparagus. Sometimes you just need to cleverly open the door a crack....eventually they will swing the door open and walk through it.
Remember autism is a spectrum, not everyone can "learn" to eat some foods. There are extreme picky ones and forcing them to eat may traumatize them. I'm privileged bc I could learn to eat many foods I hated before but now I'm in burnout and sometimes even water disgusts me
Load More Replies... Is there another sensory issue my daughter is autistic and at 10 has a very limited diet and will just go hungry if we try other things . If that's not the case then it's definitely the moms fault for enabling this behaviour
Probably, yes. Imagine comments telling you it was your fault your daughter is a fussy eater, no parents aim for their kids to be fussy
Load More Replies... At 18 and 15 they are hardly kids, this is weird as hell, it sounds like woman has zero skill in rearing children if she plans to pander to this ridiculousness that long
LOL you know my parents had four children before me, plenty of skill in rearing children. Three of my four older siblings all eat a wide variety of foods. One older sister and myself are very limited, picky eaters. I am diagnosed with SPD. We all grew up to be healthy, normal adults. My one sis and I still both hate lots of foods. If I was invited to the OP’s dinner of ribs and cheesy potatoes I would ALSO have eaten nothing but bread. This isn’t because my parents were skilled in raising three children, but failed my sister and I. Good parenting can still result in picky eaters. Parent the children you have, not the imaginary children you want to have.
Load More Replies... Leave my table. (Period) They are not vegan because she was going to fix chicken tenders so they could have the bbq ribs, they aren’t lactose they could have ate the cheesy potatoes. I say be hungry I don’t care .
I think girls are spoiled brats and should be thankful for good food before them as many going hungry this year would jump at chance of decent meal
Because their mother allows this behavior and condones it. With so many people wishing they had just a 1/4 of what these girls were offered…you’d think they’d be a little grateful. Obviously they’ve never suffered from food insecurity.
Load More Replies... If I invite people over for a meal, I always ask them about their preferences and dislikes, as well as diets and allergies. It's so I can make a meal everyone enjoys, because you don't host for yourself. Of course mom is in the wrong here for not bringing a prepared meal her daughters could eat when she got told in advance, and she should have taught her teens to politely turn down meals. But the OP isn't in the clear either, and it's not up to him to decide how those girls should be raised. He's being an inconsiderate host.
So many of these replies miss the fact that OP gave their sister 2 weeks notice that there wouldn't be kitchen space for her to cook for her kids AND that could cook for the girls before hand and bring that food with her. Sister chose to ignore all of that and in doing so she single-handedly created the issue of the girls not having anything to eat. OP wasn't causing the issue and is obviously NTA. Sister is 100% TA for not providing for her picky children. The girls can have food issues and they're not TA on that because I assume mom didn't tell them about what OP asked if her. They are TAs for being rude about the food "looking gross" Who thinks it's okay to behave that way at 15 and 18?
If there is no respect coming towards me from the host, as demonstrated by not serving any suitable food and judging my eating habits, I would have no problem saying that it looked gross at double their age
Load More Replies... I did wonder at OP's idea that at least some of the items on the list would appeal to teens he knows stick to a very limited diet, especially when one doesn't do vegetables and the only meat they seem to eat is chicken. Even cheesy potatoes could off-putting for them depending what the recipe includes, like onions (cheesy potatoes is vague as it could mean any of a number of recipes). If they like mac and cheese, he could have served cauliflower cheese instead of breaded cauliflower (the 18yo might have tried it). Instead of both fillet roast and BBQ ribs, he could have done one of those plus a chicken dish (that wasn't tenders). But really, I think for the the sake of the girls' health OP's sister needs to see if there is a diagnosis which needs too be made so they can get any help they need and/or any necessary understanding from their family they aren't just being brats.
Picky and attitude problem? Their parents must be very lenient with them :O
Let's hope you never have to parent someone with sensory processing issues
Load More Replies... The food sounds so good. Even as a child I already ate stuff I hated not to upset the Cook. It's a mix of personality and upbringing.
Doing things that you don't want to in order to people please for validation is not the wonderful trait you are portraying, it will result in others taking advantage of your compliant nature.
Load More Replies... Mother seems to be spoiling them. None of my business, though. Two sides to every story, I'm sure the mother would have something different to add to the story if she could.
I dont think shes spoiling them. My parents knew I was a picky eater and always made me things I would have. I tried things that they would eat I tried things that even they wouldn't eat but I just don't like the stuff. I would say the Mam didn't want her daughters to feel uncomfortable in a situation where food is already a bit of an issue.
Load More Replies... The whole family sound like pieces of work, TBH. Yes, the two teenagers--especially the one who is old enough to vote--should have learned by now how to act at a meal that doesn't cater 100% to their preferences, eating what they can stand and refraining from drawing attention to what they are choosing not to eat. But the grown adult man should also know better than to pick this as his hill to die on when it's his turn to host Christmas. If he actually thinks that doing this is going to improve the teens' food preferences or their manners, he's an idiot, and if he *doesn't* think that, then the other explanation is that he wanted them to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. Idiot or AH, those are the options here.
honestly, they were warned soo... i would have made a small dish of buttered noodles with sauses on the side and let the not eat if they didnt want that
These teens would starve if they were in my family...if there wasn't a medical reason you're eating it!
I have Asperger's, so I'm very particular about textures and flavours. I like really strong flavours but if the texture is not right I can't stomach it. I also seemingly quite suddenly go off certain foods; I also have a lot of food intolerances now, and I have IBS so this is made me quite a picky eater: I can't use any kind of legumes or vegan type foods (soy based), anything overly processed, anything that is too chargrilled, whole groups of foods related to cabbage for example... I also can't stomach cheap instant coffee, I don't like anything but butter spread on my bread; I can't eat linseed which is an all the kind of healthy breads I do like to eat. I don't really go out much anyway, I have chronic health issues which keep me mostly housebound.
When my daughter was little we always make sure she tried new things and if she didn't like a food the first time, we tried a different recipe/method of cooking or serving. To this day she eats just about everything.
Load More Replies... See a lot of "could be autism/eating disorder/etc". OR it could just be two spoiled teens never having been told NO. Sometimes things aren't that complicated
I was a fussy eater, (no allergies or illnesses). But when it came to eating at a relative's home, we kids were all told in advance: "You will eat what is given to you. You will say please and thank you. You will not whine. Your relatives spent their time and money cooking. Be grateful and be polite." That statement was always followed by: "Do I make myself clear?" I'm so grateful to mom and dad for not putting up with any of our drama.
Geez, I have legit mental illnesses and I'm very picky but even as a kid I grasped that when you're a guest you eat what you're served and compliment the cook. Even if you hate it and just nibble at the edges and wind up stealth spitting it into the bottom of the bathroom trashcan, you eat what you're served and thank the host for serving it. For TEENAGERS to be pulling this c**p and their mom catering to them, even at a holiday dinner? Lunacy.
I started to go to the farmer's markets to introduce my daughters to new foods. Not that it changed much with the younger one, who was still picky, however, once she started cooking, she became more adventurous with recipes. Just last week she made pickle soup, which was delicious. Just a strategy to offer.
I have autistic kids so can understand it off them , but older kids n one is an adult sitting there making rude comments about your food is not on, tbh I'd of told them to leave the table and not return until they can say something nice! Entitled brats!
I would tell the mom of the picky eaters that as soon as our dinner has been prepared, plated, and on the table she can go into the kitchen to cook for her girls. I would also expect her to clean up pots and pans she used.
Everyone sucks here. The OP for singling the girls out, and the girls mom for sheltering them and being prissy. The "girls" are old enough to just not go. People forget that "not going" is always an option. I am 44 and I only eat about 4 out of 18ish things my family always brings. Whoevers house it is it does the meat, then we all bring dishes. I do not like veggies so I stick to meat and potatoes. Maybe the OP could make a wider selection? Maybe the "girls" csn come full? Maybe the mom needs to cut the cord?
I don't eat meat but not everyone I know is aware of that because I can sit and have a meal without telling people. I have never went hungry, there is always something to eat, I love every veg there is so no one has ever had to go around my eating habits nor do I expect anyone to.
I always tell people I'm vegetarian, so I don't end up being an inconvenience. If there's a one pan dish with meat, I'd not be able to eat and often hosts feel guilty then. I never expect a whole meal and always assure that bread or some vegetables is enough for me, so they don't need to go through trouble for me.
Load More Replies... ESH sucks. As a picky eater myself, I honestly don't like those foods. I'm also lactose intolerant, so I wouldn't even be able to eat the cheesy potatoes. That said the woman shouldn't have taken over your kitchen, she can make the kids dinners ahead of time.
My brothers kids were very picky eaters. Mostly because their mother was lazy and only gave them chicken tenders or pasta w butter and cheese or pizza. They were like this into adulthood. My nephew (few years younger than his sister but in his 30s) will try an does eat variety's of foods. My neice is so picky. Fast food mostly is her standard because it's always the same. At my wedding reception she at first wasn't going to come but when I asked why she said she didn't like the food options. That's a stupid reason. I wound up having to pay extra to have plain pasta w butter made for her for her dinner. Just so she would come. She prob would have came if I told her all the appetizers and salads and etc but I went out of my way to make her comfortable. I won't do it again. At 13/15 a young adult needs to learn there are other foods out there an they can't be a child pouting about food served to them. Op stood his ground. He should have asked them to leave the table.
"I was respectful, considerate and accommodating, but now I won't be in future".
Load More Replies... I get where the guys coming from but that seems a bit immature and unnecessary. If the kids have a real issue with food then that is just plain mean. He made his family members feel uncomfortable because he has an issue with their picky eating. They will remember this and will most likely not have a good relationship with him in the future.
So many people don't have enough to eat. Just bring your own food and shut up. It doesn't have to be a soap box issue.
Extended families should contribute what they eat to the meal. But bring it ready ti eat. My divorced uncles stop by KFC and we all wish he would spring for extra mashed potatoes and gravy
My parents cook things my daughter does not eat. My daughter is 27. My mom thinks turkey is not done if juice is running out of it. My daughter brought gravy. My mom cooks cornbread something none of us eat. I cook cream potatoes. My daughter cooked mac and cheese. We cooked all of our food and brought it hot. In casserole dishes ready to sit on table. Except my daughter's gravy had to be heated in the microwave. I smoked, mushroom stuffed, bacon wrapped turkey breasts one year and because they were still pink, my mom kept microwaving hers because she was convinced it was still raw.
I am 51 and am an incredibly picky eater. But, I can always find something to eat. And I would NEVER tell someone their food looked gross. How rude.
Dude, the girls aren't picky, they just don't like your cooking. Stuffed artichokes, breaded cauliflower and ratatouille is standard fare? No, standard fare are favorite foods that the whole family enjoys. You couldn't cook just a couple of dishes that your nieces might enjoy? Dude, you suck.
I knew a girl, in college, in the 80s, who would only eat white, sliced bread with margarine, salt and vinegar crisps, and boiled ham. Her only drink was Coke. She wondered why she had bad skin.
I can tell you what will happen with the "picky eaters" as they become adults. I know because I have lived this as an Aunt to these privileged little "b!tches". 1. Be prepared, mom and dad, to have them living with you until you die 2. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING... will ever be good enough. A job...oh no!...it's horrible, I have to TALK to people, it doesn't pay anywhere near what I am worth, no I don't have experience in that field but I deserve to make more than 15 bux an hour. Your food will NEVER be up to their standards (I never eat iceberg lettuce, it is romaine or spring mix). Roast beef from a package and not the deli...not on my sandwich. 3. So parents be prepared. You need to have a hefty savings account or take another job when you are 75 because your 50+ kid will still be with you. Good luck and make sure you don't call me to ask what happened. I told you and you blocked me so you are dead to me now. Good luck, by the way, in buying that brand new car for her!
Sis could have bought mac and cheese. Our son is autistic and we have nurtured his palate from a very young age. He eats broccoli, brussel sprouts, spinach, sushi, fish, chicken. He has likes and dislikes just like everyone else. But he will try new foods. 18 is a bit late to start.
I think 15 & 18 are way too old to have special & simple meals cooked for them. If bread & butter id all you'll eat, well then, that's all you'll get. That's one consideration. Other is that OP *did* advise his sister she would not be using his kitchen. I could be picky as a kid, (but knew better from a young age than to insult others' food, and that I was to be quiet and eat what looked okay.) My son, however, had severe sensory issues as a child, so severe that if he even gamely tried to take a bite of a food he didn't like because of taste, texture, or appearance, he would gag involuntarily so hard that sometimes he would vomit. He outgrew it, though. At age 8, he ate like 3 things and I was desperate to feed him properly. By age 11, he was already trying new foods, and as a young adult, he is actually a foodie and an amazing home cook, especially the food of his India heritage. My other kid ate everything in sight from the moment she could chew. Never worried about her.
I'm picky for taste and texture. I'm only allergic to a couple of things but nothing that would cause me to be fussy. I cant help it. I have tried and tried and tried loads of new things and I just can't get on board with things. Like cheese or pizza or pasta (just an example the list is long!) I really REALLY want to like different foods because being the outsider or the one who doesn't get invited out because your friends want to go to a restaurant is very isolating and having people get annoyed at you for something you just can't help can be very hurtful too. I would never insult someone on their cooking but its so embarrassing when they make an effort and you have to tell them you don't want to eat it because of it containing cheese or because it makes you gag trying to eat whatever it is. I wouldnt wish being a fussy eater on my worst enemy its horrible.
Picky eater here (mom pureed everything until I was 2). My family eats European food some of which is too awful to smell. I was ridiculed, teased, not allowed to use a fork until I was 12. I was never rude ( didn't dare) and couldn't defend myself. The only item on OP's menu I could eat is salad. We usually had goose so I would eat potatoes, gravy, and a veggie I liked (once I wasn't forced to eat hated ones). The smell of cauliflower still makes me nauseated after 45 yrs. It's abusive to try to force a sensitive person to eat anything especially in front of lots of family. Let them eat in peace. Lifelong vegetarian btw.
Just going to throw my opinion here, the girls may be autistic. Many autistic people have a severely restricted diet because of sensory issues around food. Girls are often undiagnosed because they are good at mimicking others and it can look like normal teenage behavior. It could be they were genuinely disgusted by his food and saying so is also another autistic trait, we have no filters and poor social skills. I think he should have just made them pasta and chicken and stopped being an a*s about it.
NTA your sister knew in advance she should've cooked at home nobody wants extra hands in the kitchen while cooking and those brats need grow up and i would've told them to leave the table is my house and the sister need teach them manners the girls could've tried the food first
Your are NTA but, don't tell your children to say, that it tastes good if that is not true. The host may believe it and serve it again. And someday find out, that they didn't like it at all and feel very embarrassed because of it. If they are asked how they liked the food, teach them to tell the truth in as kind a way as possible, and not to volunteer an opinion if not asked. Unless of course they really enjoyed it.
There is probably a medical reason for these girls to be this picky. For example, kids on the spectrum have sensory issues that attribute to their pickiness. And rigidity is an autism characteristic.
Well, I came up in one of those "eat what is set before you" households. However, I found the flaw, I learned to cook and made probably half the dinners since I was age 12 until I moved out (mom was single, working mom). Now they (mom, little brother) had to eat what I cooked (nothing crazy).
If they want to act like toddlers, treat them as such. Serve jello squares and cut up hot dogs. Set up a separate kiddie table, serve them first, make their plates up for them, tell them children should be seen, not heard. NTA.
Consider myself a picky eater, but I would never in a million years bring my own food to someone else's house if they're already cooking. Those two brats needs to grow up and so does their mother
So, when they go out to dinner with friends and their friends order what they don't like, do they tell their friends "Your food looks gross" and act like little beasts? Probably not. Their Mom made a big deal out of it and pretty much set up their rude behavior.
Im really torn about this. On the one hand, I'm totally for not making a separate dish for each person at the table. My house isn't a restaurant, everyone gets served the same food at dinner time. If you don't like something, don't eat it. So I totally get OP not letting his sister make food specifically for her daughters especially with so much else going on in the kitchen. BUT at the same time, OP clearly knows what his nieces like to eat and he could have incorporated something they like in the meal for everyone that he was making. Yeah, the sister is not doing her daughters any favors by catering to them like that, but it's not his place to change how she parents. Nor is it his place to try to change his nieces' attitude toward food.
I´ll go with ESH here: If what OP insinuates is true (and there is no untold back round as autism or so), the mother basically fed into her daughters´ picky eating to the point that it may well amount to an eating disorder, with presumably pretty negative effects for the girls - like perhaps them being invited less to friend´s houses as being considered odd by kids and parents, them depending a lot on the mother and so on. In any case instead of trying to either stay out of it and let the mother´s behavior slide or get involved as in trying talk with the mother on how she likely harms her children there, he chose to get annoyed and aggressive and basically let it out on the girls, whose only learning experience certainly was that their uncle hates them...
To add to the ASD suggestions, the fact that the food they do eat is very plain and beige would be further evidence. This is a thing for some people on the spectrum.
Mom always made a couple of veggies and we could eat the one we liked. I personally don't like raw tomatoes except sliced on a sandwich. And not a "tomato sandwich". When I was a kid somehow mom or dad put a slice of tomato on my plate. I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I ate it. So I sat for a long time before taking a bite. Vomited all over the table but was never forced to eat raw tomatoes again. My sister says even parents can be taught something new!
I get not eating certain things because of taste, texture or smell. I consider myself to be a quite picky eater. But I would never under any circumstances tell someone the food they prepared looks gross. I can't eat bananas because the texture just makes me gag. I can tolerate bananas in things like smoothies, or banana bread. Mushrooms are totally the worst for me texture, smell and taste wise - I will cook them for family but eat something different and probably open the window while cooking and eating. If I'm invited someplace and the food offered is something I don't like I'll just fill up on sides. Some people react worried and ask if they should provide something else, but I always tell them no to bother there is plenty on the table I like and I sure won't go hungry.
Could I have sensory issues? My cousin has this two disabilities not medically related, but certain people have certain texture issues it could be a texture thing where they can’t stand certain textures of certain foods, so it could be a texture thing.
I think, their mom is the a*****e. She should've made the food for her nearly adult children and bring it with her, since her brother to,d her in enough time for her to do that. Also, those poor girls will have a very hard time when they start dating, and some guy takes them out to dinner, a nice place, and they order off the kids menu and refuse to eat from the adult, and probably yummy menu! Plus, if they continue this bad eating behaviors, if they find someone to marry, and they do not cook anything but chicken nuggets and buttered pasta, or certain sandwiches, and refuse to try new foods, they may not make it to the wedding! I do not know many teen boys or adult men who live on nuggets and buttered pasta! Mom needs to let go of the food reigns and help them make better food choices, or in the future, be in extremely poor health.
Sounds like the kids probably have some autism spectrum an/or adhd. Me myself is an extremely picky eater. I can’t just stand some textures in my mouth. Same with some smell or tastes. That food looks gross, but as an adult I learned that it’s not nice to tell people that. And I also had to learn that it’s sometimes okey to tell a white lie. (Even if lies are incredibly bad in my world and it would be better to tell the truth that the food looks disgusting) That social skill is something that has to be learned. It doesn’t come naturally for us.
I say this as an autist, don't f*****g armchair diagnose people, in general tbh, but especially on basis of them being picky eaters when raised by a woman who obviously doesn't encourage them to even try new things, and behaving rude in a way which is not remotely uncommon for neurotypical teens, on basis of a like 100 word reddit post, wtf??? Especially when food issues aren't even limited to those disorders and there's just as big a possibility that they have both food issues as well as normal social skills and them behaving rudely is just because they're irritated at only eating bread, with their mother openly encouraging their rude behaviour?? Not to mention they could even be autistic and also be rude for the sake of being rude... It's ok to say that they MIGHT have some form of food or processing issue caused by whatever, but immediately assuming they're probably neurodivergent just bc they were rude in combination with having a potential issue is going a bit far sis
Load More Replies... You're definitely the AH. All you had to do was let your sister prep food for her kids in your kitchen. They didn't ask you to cook the meal or get the ingredients for said meal. And what gives you the right to decide what another human being eats? They're are old enough to decide what they bloody want to eat. You need to apologize to your sister and her kids asap.
He might have a small kitchen. Mom could have prepared food at home and just reheated at the brother's. He told her in advance and she didn't listen. If they're old enough to decide what they want to eat, they sure as hell are old enough to prepare it themselves at home or at least be polite to the host.
Load More Replies... to be fair he could a sat them all down before he made a menu and asked for their input. He
Completely unrelated to the article. ~ But really ~ Does anyone else see a Dashshund Dog in the photo about to be carved up and be eaten in the offending meal that has been found to be "Gross"
I must add ~ on a totally unrelated note ~ the photo chosen to accompany this article is completely off the wall hilariously oddly in weird. It looks like a dachshund dog about to be carved up for Thanksgiving dinner, which, strangely would fit this article better than what was actually meant to be chosen to accompany the article in the first place.
The entitlement...and it's the mother's fault for encouraging it, at such advanced ages no less! I'm 46. Our family tradition is to have Polish food. I'm not a fan, never have been. However, I manage to find something to eat & keep my mouth shut because literally everyone else loves it. That's something the spoiled brats need to learn, unless it takes their friends & boyfriends to humiliate them down the road.
NTA and your sister is a downright b*tch who has fostered this level of pickiness. She allowed her 2 almost adult children to disrespect you in your own home. I understand that you didn't want to make even more of an issue, but I really think you should have either just told your sister to leave them at home, or barring that asked them politely to leave the table since they couldn't eat ANYTHING. You're not a f*cking restaurant.
"The food i make is standard"...maybe the way you prepare it is not. The same food can taste very differently when made by a different cook. Not saying your food is disgusting just doesnt taste and look like they are used to. For example I am trying to avoid eating at my MIL. She cooks a lot of meals I normally eat but she just makes them so different that i dont like them at all. My husband does like the meals though. BUT I never make faces or have nasty comments when I eat there. So Esh. You could have asked what the girls would like to eat or tell sister to prepare the food at home. It was clear teenagers would rebel by not eating at all. You just spoilt the evening for everyone
Don't celebrate with them anymore. Let the sister cook at home with her 2 entitled brats. You will be much happier without them.
Ignoring the girl's and the reasons behind being picky, etc, what was his goal out of this? Was it to make the girls eat his food because if it was that easy pretty sure it would have happened years before. If it was to simply "make a point", he could actually just have an adult conversation with the girls and they might open up or listen. However, doing this in such a passive aggressive manner is not going to fix anything or help anyone - including himself.
It's not passive-aggressive. He was very up front with his sister, gave her plenty of warning, and the issue (which seems to have gotten lost) is that he didn't want the hassle of his sister cooking while he prepared a large meal. She easily could have prepared a cheese and noodle dish at home & brought it with her. It sounds like the sister wanted some kind of conflict.
Load More Replies... I get where this guy is coming from but he is still an a*****e. I'm 23 and I was a horribly picky eater until a couple years ago. What this guy is doing isn't going to help those girls. When I went to the army and had to choose between eating something I don't like and going hungry, I just didn't eat and I spent over a year going most days on one meal a day. I still usually won't touch food that I don't know exactly what is in it, including all spices and herbs. What actually helped me was getting treated for my eating disorder. This level of pickiness that the girls display definitely indicates there is something else going on ( undiagnosed ASD, eating disorder, etc...). If this guy was actually concerned for his nieces he would have talked to his sister about maybe getting the girls professional help, as the way the are eating now really is unhealthy. But instead he just chose to let them go hungry out of spite.
I say this as an autist, stop fkin armchair diagnosing people based on 100 word reddit posts lmao. It could be a disorder..... Orrrrrr it could just be them never having been pushed outside of their comfort zone by their mom. With the mom's enabling behaviour, I also very much doubt she would actually get over herself to get them potential help lol bc if they BOTH do have an eating disorder there's a good chance it's her fault and contacting professionals would mean admitting that to herself first... He also didn't 'chose to let them go hungry out of spite', he was annoyed with sister taking up the limited kitchen space in his own kitchen to make fkin chicken nuggets and he had warned her well in advance, she could've prepared food at her own kitchen and brought it...
Load More Replies... I used to be a very picky eater, it was a combination of not being exposed to a variety of foods as a kid (mom hated cooking) and undiagnosed autism. I still have hard no-foods, but it's gotten much better in adulthood. I get that, as a host, it might hurt your pride when people won't eat your food, but seriously, how difficult is it to just let them microwave something they know they can eat? It would be the thing a *gracious* host would do.
Lmao read the full article before casting judgement. 🙄 He clearly stated in one of the replies that microwaving a plate prepared prior would be a fine compromise, he just didn't want his sister to take over his limited kitchen space where other cooking was taking place to cook fkin chicken nuggets.
Load More Replies... Bro at 15 and 18 you can literally cook your own food, if they need chicken nuggets so bad why is the mom making them in the kitchen and being in the way when the girls can also just make meals a home they put in the microwave there or bake their chicken nuggets after all the other food is done??
F*** the OP and F*** the "experts" you quoted BP. Being a picky eater isn't usually about being rude or entitled or childish. Clearly more people need to educate themselves on Neurodivergence and how it effects eating habits. Make the damn nuggies and pasta and stop being a d i c k.
YTA. At that age those children probably have sensory issues. Her mom is just trying to keep the peace so they don’t make you feel bad about your cooking.
This guy NTA until "we love in a society where not catering to them will be seen as abuse by many", which is patently untrue as evidenced by reality and the LITERAL REPLIES in the thread. I cant stand people like this, the 'nobody wants to work anymore' dipshits.
I'm gonna go with ESH, but the OP sucks the worst. How hard is it for people to compromise? He has this "principle" that his guests have to enjoy the food he cooks, but then cooks food he knows that some of his guests won't enjoy. He says "I didn't feel the need to cook pasta and butter"...so you didn't feel the need to make these girls feel included? Girls who probably didn't have the option to attend your dinner? His sister sucks for not listening to him, and expecting him to giver her space in his kitchen to prepare food that only two people will eat, while he is preparing food for everyone else - why couldn't she have prepped the food at home? And the girls suck for sitting there and insulting his food.
I have pointedly NOT called the girls the AH's for being picky eaters, because there are a LOT of potential reasons for that. Food intolerances (maybe not allergies, but just something that makes them physically uncomfortable) and neurodiversity are two reasons that come to mind. You don't get to criticize what someone else chooses to put into their body, or to call them a******s for not putting the same things into their body that you are okay with putting into yours.
Load More Replies... Ok im an extremely picky eater. Its not for the want of trying new things in desperation to be able to be considered "normal " being excluded because you don't like something is really sh!t. Everything this dude mentioned that he cooked I wouldnt eat either. Its horrible for people to not only get annoyed that you're a fussy eater but to clearly go out if their way to make you uncomfortable and single you out for it. 100% YTA
Are you picky because of the taste or because of dietary restrictions? Or you're picky because you only eat what you have tried and love? I'm not picky at all because I grew up in poverty and I'm not going to lie, I don't even know half of the food that OP cooks but I'd love to try them XD
Load More Replies... It seems like you aren't really getting what he's saying. He's saying that they should at least learn to eat what is in front of them or eat nothing which they may face multiple times later on in life. Gender doesn't matter in this.
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