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It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the cooking fails in the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst food fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks' attempts at cooking food will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.
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If you don't want your friends to include your funny stories in a similar thread, there are some easy cooking tips that can improve your skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.
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The next kitchen hack is to start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.
#3
Andrew Gibb 5 years ago
I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones
Now that you've got the good stuff, another life hack is to use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."
A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.
Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.
Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.
#11
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
An engineer failing at the basic concept of stability is frightening.
#12
Samantha Lomb 5 years ago
In fairness you can get rye, oat, barley, chick pea and rice flours too
#18
Samantha Lomb 5 years ago
in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields
#19
#20
Arlene Reber 5 years ago
My husband did the cooking but early in our marriage he was going to late so he asked me to bake the ham. Left the recipe book to the page I needed and everything. The recipe called for cloves. The only cloves I knew about were garlic cloves. It was the tinest little ham after Tim cut the garlic out.
Donna Leske 5 years ago
Sounds good to me! Too much work though, I buy the small jars of minced garlic and put the whole contents in.
athornedrose 5 years ago
my cousin did that when making bruschetta. called for 12 cloves, she put twelve heads. it was inedible. and i adore garlic
#22
#26
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.
#30
Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago
Easy mistake to make when the only noodle thing you ever boil is instant noodles.
#32
#33
#34
#36
Demi Zwaan 5 years ago
To be honest, it's the best way to eat a kiwi. There's a lot of nutrients in that skin and it's perfectly edible.
#40
Sadia Timmermans 5 years ago
Doesn't a garbage disposal clog up your pipes? In Europe we don't have that... So it's a real mystery to me!
#41
#42
Samantha Lomb 5 years ago
I think I have sugar. My neighbors came to borrow oil and I said I didn't have any and I don't think they believed me so I tried to give them vinegar instead. I just don't cook much. I'm one person and everything goes off before I can finish it
#44
Demi Zwaan 5 years ago
Do you expect a chef to know how to perform surgery? Then why do you expect a surgeon to know about vegetables?
#50
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
Guess what. It will taste the same as if the butter was on the inside!
#51
Demi Zwaan 5 years ago
Is it important that he was straight? Do gay men have an innate ability to cook that straight men lack?
#52
Carol Emory 5 years ago
Technically you can do them in oil in a saucepan, but you don't simmer them, you crank up the heat and fry them little suckers.
#53
#54
Peter O'Brien 5 years ago
Sounds like he is hugely ungrateful towards woman trying to make him happy and instead of helping them he just abuses them instead.
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What do you think ?
Susan 5 years ago
The root of all evil is bad parenting. Well, most of it anyway, and certainly this here mess which invokes in me the eternal cry: WTF is wrong with people. All children should be taught how to cook for themselves, and others.
Marlene Ricker 5 years ago
I taught both my son and my daughter to cook. Which was a good thing since my son married a woman who couldn't cook! He did all the cooking. Which served him well. He is the best cook in our family. He can go to a restaurant and have something he liked and then come home and reproduce it! This is a talent that is all his own. I don't know where he learned to cook so well, but it wasn't me who taught him!
Load More Replies...
Saico Hipe 5 years ago
Cooking, like any skill, has nothing innately to do with one's gender or queerness/lack thereof. Societal factors sometimes dictate that 'straight men' are not taught how to cook, because it is seen as 'women's work.' It also seems to be a symptom of modern society in which people have largely given over the task of cooking for and feeding themselves and their families to major corporations. I was raised in a somewhat traditional southern culture, but there was still a heavy emphasis on cooking from BOTH of my parents. I watched them and began helping them in the kitchen as soon as I was old enough to walk. I did not realize until much later that so many other kids, even in my own town, did not have the benefit of such education. I'm not saying everyone needs to be a super chef, but the ability to cook basic meals for oneself is an invaluable life skill that everyone should learn.
Carol Emory 5 years ago
My husband never learned to cook anything from scratch growing up. Everything came out of a box or a can. He once told me him and his friends made pizza crust, but had no cheese for it so they used crushed up Cheez-its. Now, I beg him to make lasagna because it turns out perfect every time. You just have to give them time. Many of these women didn't know how to cook until someone showed them how. All you have to do is have a little patience, teach them and they will get it. Kudos to the guys that at least tried, bless their hearts.
Lsai Aeon 5 years ago
I (female, not that it matters much) learned to cook by sitting on my grandmother's kitchen counter, with my feet in the sink playing in the water when I was 2. I watched her and my aunt cook and learned a lot, even though they never let me cook with them as I aged. Today, I have a 12 yo son, who is on the autism spectrum that's been in the kitchen cooking with me since he was 4. I'm disabled, my whole spine is coated in arthritis, I can't stand up for long. I can't even tell you how many times he's come in from his room saying "Mom, you're hurting too bad, I'm cooking dinner tonight." He's great with the George Foreman grill or anything in the microwave, he's still hesitant with the oven as he's given himself a few very minor burns pulling food out, but darn he tries. On days that I can stand longer, we cook together, he loves being "navigator" meaning he reads out the recipe while we both work in the kitchen, and he's learned to cut up all the veggies, which is his favorite task.
Lsai Aeon 5 years ago
here he is making his own "swirl" cupcakes for his birthday this past November. It was his choice to do the baking himself. also, ignore the messy kitchen, please birthday-c...882716.jpg 
Charles Sim 5 years ago
I'm actually really good at cooking and baking...it's just that sometimes I misread the amounts needed for ingredients. One year, for Christmas, I was going to make Banana bread for family and our neighbor friends. I wanted to do 6x the recipe. The last ingredient was 1/2 a cup of buttermilk, but my stupid mind said, "oh, 1 cup, so you need to measure out 6 for the recipe." I finish blending it in and I'm like, "oh hell no, this batter is too soupy. wtf?" I look at the recipe card and realize my FU. So...I had to fix it. I mixed up all the rest of the ingredients so there was 12x the amount of batter needed. It made ~26-28 loaves of banana bread of various sizes. I had to use our four biggest mixing bowls to contain all of the batter. I couldn't bake all loaves at the same time (it's 1.5 hours for a batch of 3) so I had to bake them over the course of three days when I had the time to do it. I didn't bake banana bread for a few years after that.
Marlene Ricker 5 years ago
My mother was making bread one day. She had got a very large measuring cup recently. She measured the flour with her small measuring cup but used her extra large one for the liquid. She had this soupy mess and realized what she had done wrong. She had to add a ton more flour to make the dough. We were kids at the time and Mom sent us to scour the neighbourhood for extra loaf pans and then we had to ask the nieghbours to bake some of the bread. It was hilarious. My mom made bread quite often but this was my favourite time. And no my Mom was not a bad cook, she was a great cook. But on this day her mind must have wandered a bit. One of my favourite memories of my Mom!
Load More Replies... Dianna Siever 5 years ago
Getting pretty frustrated at these people who seem to think masculinity = poor cooking skills
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Agreed! Most top chefs seem to be male ----- b/c they were taught!
Load More Replies... chi-wei shen 5 years ago
Most men don't learn how to cook when they are young, and this turns out to be a very bad situation because cooking is an important skill. I was already in my twenties and at college when I started to learn. I would like to recommend to all mothers (and fathers) to not only let your daughters help in the kitchen but also your sons.
Jon S. 5 years ago (edited)
I had a friend from Nigeria. He was young, but rich, and already had two wives. When he came to uni he left them behind. After two days he turned to the rest of us housemates tearfully and begged us to feed him. Turns out he had never been food shopping in his life and wasn't even allowed in the Kitchen in his own house (exclusive women's space), let alone to cook. He took to it well and was cooking for us before long, although he was always very confused by the concept/point of toast.
Unicornstar 5 years ago
I lived in an apartment once that was really a converted garage. The house it was attached to was rented out by 3 men in their 20 s. One night there was a terrible smell of burning so I went outside to see where it was coming from. There was thick black smoke billowing out of the kitchen. Knowing that one of the men was inside I called out to him but got no reply. I looked through a side window and saw the smoke was coming from the oven. I ran inside to make sure he was ok and found him upstairs in bed sound asleep. He'd put a pizza in the oven and gone to bed for a quick nap. He thought the timer on the oven would turn the oven off when it hit zero. That wasn't the worst of it. The pizza was only in for 20 minutes. The reason it went in fire was because he hadn't taken the clear plastic wrap off the pizza before putting it in the oven
Dippin Dot 5 years ago
My ex didn't know how to boil water until I taught him; his mom didn't know how to cook, so he grew up on cereal, frozen pizza and ham sandwiches. A 25yo friend of mine wants me to teach her to cook. It's not their fault... My son is 11 and took a cooking class over the summer so he knows the basics. I also have taught him a few simple recipes and we have decided that one night a week he is going to pick a meal and learn how to make it with me so he will have the skills in the kitchen to make himself a good meal. And thankfully now I'm with someone who is a wonderful cook so that's something we do together.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
It's not just cooking. Laundry. House cleaning. I mean, it's epic what people aren't taught by their parents. Or if they hate doing it, they just don't bother to take care with it. E.g., my MIL boils everything, regardless of what it is, for 5-10 minutes. Anything uncooked after that, oh well, eat it, it's on your plate. The end. (Or, y'know, the beginning of food poisoning in some cases....)
Shelby P 5 years ago (edited)
The first (and last) time I tried to cook fried chicken, I turned the heat up way too high on the oil so the chicken was all burnt on the outside and raw on the inside... this is not where the story ends. I had only cooked a couple pieces that way so then I decided I could still fix this. I was going to strain the oil to get all the burnt pieces out and try again at a lower heat. But I didn't wait for the oil to cool and I tried to strain it through one of those yellow plastic tupperware colanders with the handle... so then I had melted plastic and burnt oil. It was awful but a great story for a laugh. We ended up with pizza for dinner.
Steven Cook 5 years ago
My first wife didn't learn much cooking growing up as her mom could barely make boxed dishes and her dad could only grill a burger. One time she put a pan of water on the stove to make tea but forgot about it. A few hours later, I come home and find the pan on the stove about half full of brownish water. Either the water had condensed to the point where things precipitated out or some metals from the cheap pot had leached into the water, maybe both. The effect was it looked like she managed to burn water.
Ines Rivero 5 years ago
Once I was making burgers and I had to step away for a minute so I asked my partner to please turn it off. When I came back they were sitting in the living room with the tv off completely baffled. Burgers burnt.
misteriosa 5 years ago
I've never encountered someone who was a bigger cooking failure than me. I almost burned the house down while trying to make popcorn, and once managed to make a pastry from a national cuisine (which would usually melt in mouth) rock hard, and some other things, but hey, I'm still alive. I've encountered more 'strange combo' eating failures, eating pasta or a pie also from national cuisine (dough filled with meat, cottahe cheese or vegetables) with bread.
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
It shows that basic life skills should be taught in school. Some things aren't easy to work out for some people, but when given the knowledge, they can get on with life easier.
I’m Foxxy and I know it 😉 5 years ago
I have had MANY cooking disasters. I made a cottage pie that was more like cottage soup. I have burnt a roast chicken on the outside whilst it was raw in the middle, I have burnt asparagus because I forgot to put water in the pot and that is not even half of my disasters. I am 33 and still don't know how to cook a perfectly boiled egg.
Carol Emory 5 years ago
Here's a cheat..get a silicone egg timer. It's the same density as an egg and you put it in the water with the eggs while they are cooking. There's markings on it to tell you when you should pull it for soft boiled or hard boiled eggs. Then when it reaches it's mark, you remove the pot and either add ice or run the eggs under cool water until they cool down. Try Bed, Bath and Beyond or Target. They should have them. download-5...847cc.jpeg 
Alexander Brior 5 years ago
I eat weird foods, like pudding burgers, ice cream hot dogs, chocolate pizza, candy omelets, and Big Green Mistake. Don’t ask what’s in it.
Toni Carroll 5 years ago
Bless my husband. I was sick with pneumonia and had no energy to cook something. I asked him to scramble up a few eggs. Well, after 35 years of marriage and raising a large family, I have seen him cook. He knows the basics...or so I thought. He stirred up the eggs somewhat. then he put about 1/4 cup oil in a fry pan and basically deep fried those poor eggs. I ate cheese and cashews that whole day until my daughter came by and saved me. He tried. haha
Albert Ambrosia 5 years ago
My sister in law blonde of course, had me go to the supermarket when she married my brother who was a good cook. We went up and down every aisle some 2x I asked her what was she looking for, she said SCRATCH, I said come on and we headed over to the Cleanser aisle and looked high and low for SCRATCH. I said well you could use comet etc, she said what, I said well you wanted SCRATCH...She said no your brother always said your mom cooked from SCRATCH. She had us all come over for a spaghetti dinner and we were all so hungry, she had a nice salad on the table and the pasta was broken in half, served raw with RAGU right from the jar on top, not heated and pasteurized american cheese food for the cheese. We all left and went to Dennys, incluing my brother her hubby, she stayed hom.
Octavia Hansen 5 years ago
I have always been a GREAT cook . . . but . . . soon as any guy knew this, they wanted to eat at my house, meaning that I paid for the ingredients and cooked. When I presented myself as a BAD cook, men took me out.
Vanessa Lapato 5 years ago
This is why home economics should still be taught in schools. People are dying from heart disease and diabetes because they subsist almost entirely on fast food and prepackaged processed stuff. Often it's because they never learned how to cook a basic meal. Also, home ec education should focus on nutrition, basic meal prep, food safety, and basic hygiene/keeping your home clean. When I took home ec years ago, I think they assumed we had already learned that basic stuff at home, so they taught us ridiculous things like how to bake a cake from scratch.
Maria Batsouri 5 years ago
I think that the first reason is parents. We must learn the joy of cooking to children. It's funny, creative.. I am proud that my son now 32 cooks delicious meals for his wife. Young parents try it. You will give your children a great gift.
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
A roommate I had once wanted to fry catfish so she filled a pot TO THE BRIM with oil and put in on the gas stove. Then she took a call from her mother. The oil started to boil over the top of the pot while she was distracted and caught on fire over the open flame. My idiot boyfriend and I heard her yelling and ran into the kitchen to see what was happening. Then he grabbed the pot, now completely on fire, with his bare hands to try and throw it into the sink. It was hot, so he dropped it on the floor. Ever seen flames shoot across a kitchen? I have. To his credit he got the fire extinguisher from the hallway and put the fire out entirely while my roommate stood in the middle of the living room crying, "where are the kitties?" Fire department came and de-smoked the place and there was actually minimal damage. I'll say this though, fire extinguishers make a MESS. Boyfriend left me there and went home immediately following this event. Cheated on me later.
Kjorn 5 years ago
my parents never thought me cooking. i learn it by myself. i Don't act stupid like anyone on the posts here… my mom never told me that i need to put the pasta out of the water before putting the sauce on it. it's just plain logic! it's not just men. today's people act like morons!!
Malakai 5 years ago
My dad can't cook for s**t in the kitchen, was never really taught how nor bothered to learn (all his brothers are this way, too). But I wouldn't ask anyone else to smoke or grill something in my family :) I cook everything that requires a kitchen, and he loves his outdoor cooking
MagicalUnicorn 5 years ago
i never bothered learning to cook since i have no patience at all, if recipe points out it will take longer that 15 minutes, i'm not interested, only simple dishes
Neill Powell 5 years ago
We (M+F couple)have a unique method of making mashed potatoes. A clean, unused grocery bag, with finely-diced potatoes in it, knotted closed. Microwaved for 7min on high and then again for 4min. Perfect softness for mashing. One night she decided to she wanted to help cook. Get the potatoes ready for the mash? OK. Disaster 1: 4 un-skinned potatoes (washed) into the bag.... Saved them before going in. Apologies ensured. I laughhed. Disaster 2: 4 PEELED, whole potatoes into the bag... Saved again. "Are you OK hun?" "Just a little out of it". OK then. Disaster 3: Diced potatoes in the bag, into the m-wave...and she sets it to GRILL, Not microwave. Ya, we had takeout that night.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Not so sure that cooking potatoes in a plastic grocery bag is a very healthy idea. The bags are not food grade plastic and chemicals from them may leach into the food. They're also mostly designed to biodegrade these days - into small micro beads. I dread to think what you've been eating.
Load More Replies... Susan 5 years ago
The root of all evil is bad parenting. Well, most of it anyway, and certainly this here mess which invokes in me the eternal cry: WTF is wrong with people. All children should be taught how to cook for themselves, and others.
Marlene Ricker 5 years ago
I taught both my son and my daughter to cook. Which was a good thing since my son married a woman who couldn't cook! He did all the cooking. Which served him well. He is the best cook in our family. He can go to a restaurant and have something he liked and then come home and reproduce it! This is a talent that is all his own. I don't know where he learned to cook so well, but it wasn't me who taught him!
Load More Replies... Saico Hipe 5 years ago
Cooking, like any skill, has nothing innately to do with one's gender or queerness/lack thereof. Societal factors sometimes dictate that 'straight men' are not taught how to cook, because it is seen as 'women's work.' It also seems to be a symptom of modern society in which people have largely given over the task of cooking for and feeding themselves and their families to major corporations. I was raised in a somewhat traditional southern culture, but there was still a heavy emphasis on cooking from BOTH of my parents. I watched them and began helping them in the kitchen as soon as I was old enough to walk. I did not realize until much later that so many other kids, even in my own town, did not have the benefit of such education. I'm not saying everyone needs to be a super chef, but the ability to cook basic meals for oneself is an invaluable life skill that everyone should learn.
Carol Emory 5 years ago
My husband never learned to cook anything from scratch growing up. Everything came out of a box or a can. He once told me him and his friends made pizza crust, but had no cheese for it so they used crushed up Cheez-its. Now, I beg him to make lasagna because it turns out perfect every time. You just have to give them time. Many of these women didn't know how to cook until someone showed them how. All you have to do is have a little patience, teach them and they will get it. Kudos to the guys that at least tried, bless their hearts.
Lsai Aeon 5 years ago
I (female, not that it matters much) learned to cook by sitting on my grandmother's kitchen counter, with my feet in the sink playing in the water when I was 2. I watched her and my aunt cook and learned a lot, even though they never let me cook with them as I aged. Today, I have a 12 yo son, who is on the autism spectrum that's been in the kitchen cooking with me since he was 4. I'm disabled, my whole spine is coated in arthritis, I can't stand up for long. I can't even tell you how many times he's come in from his room saying "Mom, you're hurting too bad, I'm cooking dinner tonight." He's great with the George Foreman grill or anything in the microwave, he's still hesitant with the oven as he's given himself a few very minor burns pulling food out, but darn he tries. On days that I can stand longer, we cook together, he loves being "navigator" meaning he reads out the recipe while we both work in the kitchen, and he's learned to cut up all the veggies, which is his favorite task.
Lsai Aeon 5 years ago
here he is making his own "swirl" cupcakes for his birthday this past November. It was his choice to do the baking himself. also, ignore the messy kitchen, please birthday-c...882716.jpg
Charles Sim 5 years ago
I'm actually really good at cooking and baking...it's just that sometimes I misread the amounts needed for ingredients. One year, for Christmas, I was going to make Banana bread for family and our neighbor friends. I wanted to do 6x the recipe. The last ingredient was 1/2 a cup of buttermilk, but my stupid mind said, "oh, 1 cup, so you need to measure out 6 for the recipe." I finish blending it in and I'm like, "oh hell no, this batter is too soupy. wtf?" I look at the recipe card and realize my FU. So...I had to fix it. I mixed up all the rest of the ingredients so there was 12x the amount of batter needed. It made ~26-28 loaves of banana bread of various sizes. I had to use our four biggest mixing bowls to contain all of the batter. I couldn't bake all loaves at the same time (it's 1.5 hours for a batch of 3) so I had to bake them over the course of three days when I had the time to do it. I didn't bake banana bread for a few years after that.
Marlene Ricker 5 years ago
My mother was making bread one day. She had got a very large measuring cup recently. She measured the flour with her small measuring cup but used her extra large one for the liquid. She had this soupy mess and realized what she had done wrong. She had to add a ton more flour to make the dough. We were kids at the time and Mom sent us to scour the neighbourhood for extra loaf pans and then we had to ask the nieghbours to bake some of the bread. It was hilarious. My mom made bread quite often but this was my favourite time. And no my Mom was not a bad cook, she was a great cook. But on this day her mind must have wandered a bit. One of my favourite memories of my Mom!
Load More Replies... Dianna Siever 5 years ago
Getting pretty frustrated at these people who seem to think masculinity = poor cooking skills
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Agreed! Most top chefs seem to be male ----- b/c they were taught!
Load More Replies... chi-wei shen 5 years ago
Most men don't learn how to cook when they are young, and this turns out to be a very bad situation because cooking is an important skill. I was already in my twenties and at college when I started to learn. I would like to recommend to all mothers (and fathers) to not only let your daughters help in the kitchen but also your sons.
Jon S. 5 years ago (edited)
I had a friend from Nigeria. He was young, but rich, and already had two wives. When he came to uni he left them behind. After two days he turned to the rest of us housemates tearfully and begged us to feed him. Turns out he had never been food shopping in his life and wasn't even allowed in the Kitchen in his own house (exclusive women's space), let alone to cook. He took to it well and was cooking for us before long, although he was always very confused by the concept/point of toast.
Unicornstar 5 years ago
I lived in an apartment once that was really a converted garage. The house it was attached to was rented out by 3 men in their 20 s. One night there was a terrible smell of burning so I went outside to see where it was coming from. There was thick black smoke billowing out of the kitchen. Knowing that one of the men was inside I called out to him but got no reply. I looked through a side window and saw the smoke was coming from the oven. I ran inside to make sure he was ok and found him upstairs in bed sound asleep. He'd put a pizza in the oven and gone to bed for a quick nap. He thought the timer on the oven would turn the oven off when it hit zero. That wasn't the worst of it. The pizza was only in for 20 minutes. The reason it went in fire was because he hadn't taken the clear plastic wrap off the pizza before putting it in the oven
Dippin Dot 5 years ago
My ex didn't know how to boil water until I taught him; his mom didn't know how to cook, so he grew up on cereal, frozen pizza and ham sandwiches. A 25yo friend of mine wants me to teach her to cook. It's not their fault... My son is 11 and took a cooking class over the summer so he knows the basics. I also have taught him a few simple recipes and we have decided that one night a week he is going to pick a meal and learn how to make it with me so he will have the skills in the kitchen to make himself a good meal. And thankfully now I'm with someone who is a wonderful cook so that's something we do together.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
It's not just cooking. Laundry. House cleaning. I mean, it's epic what people aren't taught by their parents. Or if they hate doing it, they just don't bother to take care with it. E.g., my MIL boils everything, regardless of what it is, for 5-10 minutes. Anything uncooked after that, oh well, eat it, it's on your plate. The end. (Or, y'know, the beginning of food poisoning in some cases....)
Shelby P 5 years ago (edited)
The first (and last) time I tried to cook fried chicken, I turned the heat up way too high on the oil so the chicken was all burnt on the outside and raw on the inside... this is not where the story ends. I had only cooked a couple pieces that way so then I decided I could still fix this. I was going to strain the oil to get all the burnt pieces out and try again at a lower heat. But I didn't wait for the oil to cool and I tried to strain it through one of those yellow plastic tupperware colanders with the handle... so then I had melted plastic and burnt oil. It was awful but a great story for a laugh. We ended up with pizza for dinner.
Steven Cook 5 years ago
My first wife didn't learn much cooking growing up as her mom could barely make boxed dishes and her dad could only grill a burger. One time she put a pan of water on the stove to make tea but forgot about it. A few hours later, I come home and find the pan on the stove about half full of brownish water. Either the water had condensed to the point where things precipitated out or some metals from the cheap pot had leached into the water, maybe both. The effect was it looked like she managed to burn water.
Ines Rivero 5 years ago
Once I was making burgers and I had to step away for a minute so I asked my partner to please turn it off. When I came back they were sitting in the living room with the tv off completely baffled. Burgers burnt.
misteriosa 5 years ago
I've never encountered someone who was a bigger cooking failure than me. I almost burned the house down while trying to make popcorn, and once managed to make a pastry from a national cuisine (which would usually melt in mouth) rock hard, and some other things, but hey, I'm still alive. I've encountered more 'strange combo' eating failures, eating pasta or a pie also from national cuisine (dough filled with meat, cottahe cheese or vegetables) with bread.
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
It shows that basic life skills should be taught in school. Some things aren't easy to work out for some people, but when given the knowledge, they can get on with life easier.
I’m Foxxy and I know it 😉 5 years ago
I have had MANY cooking disasters. I made a cottage pie that was more like cottage soup. I have burnt a roast chicken on the outside whilst it was raw in the middle, I have burnt asparagus because I forgot to put water in the pot and that is not even half of my disasters. I am 33 and still don't know how to cook a perfectly boiled egg.
Carol Emory 5 years ago
Here's a cheat..get a silicone egg timer. It's the same density as an egg and you put it in the water with the eggs while they are cooking. There's markings on it to tell you when you should pull it for soft boiled or hard boiled eggs. Then when it reaches it's mark, you remove the pot and either add ice or run the eggs under cool water until they cool down. Try Bed, Bath and Beyond or Target. They should have them. download-5...847cc.jpeg
Alexander Brior 5 years ago
I eat weird foods, like pudding burgers, ice cream hot dogs, chocolate pizza, candy omelets, and Big Green Mistake. Don’t ask what’s in it.
Toni Carroll 5 years ago
Bless my husband. I was sick with pneumonia and had no energy to cook something. I asked him to scramble up a few eggs. Well, after 35 years of marriage and raising a large family, I have seen him cook. He knows the basics...or so I thought. He stirred up the eggs somewhat. then he put about 1/4 cup oil in a fry pan and basically deep fried those poor eggs. I ate cheese and cashews that whole day until my daughter came by and saved me. He tried. haha
Albert Ambrosia 5 years ago
My sister in law blonde of course, had me go to the supermarket when she married my brother who was a good cook. We went up and down every aisle some 2x I asked her what was she looking for, she said SCRATCH, I said come on and we headed over to the Cleanser aisle and looked high and low for SCRATCH. I said well you could use comet etc, she said what, I said well you wanted SCRATCH...She said no your brother always said your mom cooked from SCRATCH. She had us all come over for a spaghetti dinner and we were all so hungry, she had a nice salad on the table and the pasta was broken in half, served raw with RAGU right from the jar on top, not heated and pasteurized american cheese food for the cheese. We all left and went to Dennys, incluing my brother her hubby, she stayed hom.
Octavia Hansen 5 years ago
I have always been a GREAT cook . . . but . . . soon as any guy knew this, they wanted to eat at my house, meaning that I paid for the ingredients and cooked. When I presented myself as a BAD cook, men took me out.
Vanessa Lapato 5 years ago
This is why home economics should still be taught in schools. People are dying from heart disease and diabetes because they subsist almost entirely on fast food and prepackaged processed stuff. Often it's because they never learned how to cook a basic meal. Also, home ec education should focus on nutrition, basic meal prep, food safety, and basic hygiene/keeping your home clean. When I took home ec years ago, I think they assumed we had already learned that basic stuff at home, so they taught us ridiculous things like how to bake a cake from scratch.
Maria Batsouri 5 years ago
I think that the first reason is parents. We must learn the joy of cooking to children. It's funny, creative.. I am proud that my son now 32 cooks delicious meals for his wife. Young parents try it. You will give your children a great gift.
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
A roommate I had once wanted to fry catfish so she filled a pot TO THE BRIM with oil and put in on the gas stove. Then she took a call from her mother. The oil started to boil over the top of the pot while she was distracted and caught on fire over the open flame. My idiot boyfriend and I heard her yelling and ran into the kitchen to see what was happening. Then he grabbed the pot, now completely on fire, with his bare hands to try and throw it into the sink. It was hot, so he dropped it on the floor. Ever seen flames shoot across a kitchen? I have. To his credit he got the fire extinguisher from the hallway and put the fire out entirely while my roommate stood in the middle of the living room crying, "where are the kitties?" Fire department came and de-smoked the place and there was actually minimal damage. I'll say this though, fire extinguishers make a MESS. Boyfriend left me there and went home immediately following this event. Cheated on me later.
Kjorn 5 years ago
my parents never thought me cooking. i learn it by myself. i Don't act stupid like anyone on the posts here… my mom never told me that i need to put the pasta out of the water before putting the sauce on it. it's just plain logic! it's not just men. today's people act like morons!!
Malakai 5 years ago
My dad can't cook for s**t in the kitchen, was never really taught how nor bothered to learn (all his brothers are this way, too). But I wouldn't ask anyone else to smoke or grill something in my family :) I cook everything that requires a kitchen, and he loves his outdoor cooking
MagicalUnicorn 5 years ago
i never bothered learning to cook since i have no patience at all, if recipe points out it will take longer that 15 minutes, i'm not interested, only simple dishes
Neill Powell 5 years ago
We (M+F couple)have a unique method of making mashed potatoes. A clean, unused grocery bag, with finely-diced potatoes in it, knotted closed. Microwaved for 7min on high and then again for 4min. Perfect softness for mashing. One night she decided to she wanted to help cook. Get the potatoes ready for the mash? OK. Disaster 1: 4 un-skinned potatoes (washed) into the bag.... Saved them before going in. Apologies ensured. I laughhed. Disaster 2: 4 PEELED, whole potatoes into the bag... Saved again. "Are you OK hun?" "Just a little out of it". OK then. Disaster 3: Diced potatoes in the bag, into the m-wave...and she sets it to GRILL, Not microwave. Ya, we had takeout that night.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Not so sure that cooking potatoes in a plastic grocery bag is a very healthy idea. The bags are not food grade plastic and chemicals from them may leach into the food. They're also mostly designed to biodegrade these days - into small micro beads. I dread to think what you've been eating.
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