It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst kitchen fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.

#1

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

fatfuck_boone Report

Susan
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Yup. There's something not right about that boy.

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If you don't want your friends to include you in a similar thread, there are some easy tips that can improve your cooking skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.

#2

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

VivienaNaDne Report

Andrew Gibb
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones

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Next, start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.

#3

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

GnomeSloth Report

varwenea
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I'm busting out laughing! Too funny.

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Now that you've got the good stuff, use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."

#4

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

hess_natalie Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 weeks ago

"You had one job..."

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A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.

Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.

Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.

#5

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

erika_szostak Report

Susan
Community Member
2 weeks ago

You in danger girl.

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#6

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Zoe_King_ Report

Ivo H
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Hehe, reminds me of skutters from red dwarf :)

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#7

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

SirPhobos Report

DaVo
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Maybe she meant 'infamous'.

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#8

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

kaylamarino7 Report

Daniel Lewis
Community Member
2 weeks ago

He was half right.

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#9

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

zang808 Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
2 weeks ago

It's a logical interpretation.

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#10

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

eleanorfights Report

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Was he watching SAW.

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#11

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

BlancheVerlie Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 weeks ago

An engineer failing at the basic concept of stability is frightening.

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#12

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

HelenHuntingdon Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 weeks ago

In fairness you can get rye, oat, barley, chick pea and rice flours too

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#13

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

varwenea
Community Member
2 weeks ago

That's disgusting! A person can get seriously ill eating raw pork.

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#14

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

Joran Quinten
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I, on the other hand, like my bread well done

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#15

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

GumbyGrrl Report

Daniel Lewis
Community Member
2 weeks ago

A great recipe for kidney failure.

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#16

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

BigInJapan__ Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 weeks ago

At least they were clean

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#17

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

Susan
Community Member
2 weeks ago

FFS.

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#18

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

AmberBenson Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 weeks ago

in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields

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#19

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

pinkbrucebanner Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Maybe he did this on purpose in order to never ever get asked again.

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#20

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

sl0loris Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Vampire proof recipe----

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#21

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

AramishMans213 Report

Aaron W
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I would have loved to see the looks on your family's faces.

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#22

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

tinygaymoonfae Report

Susan
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Are people like this aliens in disguise?

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#23

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

craypantslover Report

mummy pig
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Atleast he's learning

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#24

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

arianamarquis Report

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Have him try mango next time.

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#25

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

CRHinCA Report

Susan
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I wonder the same thing.

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#26

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

FinchyKait Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.

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#27

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

cottoncandaddy Report

Daria Z
Community Member
2 weeks ago

How is it related to him being a straight man?..

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#28

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

MorselAztheSpaz Report

Anne
Community Member
2 weeks ago

of course he is your fiancé now.. he proved he was not a vampire!

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#29

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

SydneyHuppert Report

Gabi
Community Member
2 weeks ago

No wonder he's an ex.

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#30

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

qtkits Report

LilicatUK
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Yes happened to me too. Overcooked pasta, no sauce (or butter, or olive oil, not even even a pinch of salt!). I'm Italian and all my dead relatives were spinning in their graves

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