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30 Hilarious Stories About Significant Others Failing At Cooking
It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the cooking fails in the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst food fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks' attempts at cooking food will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.
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If you don't want your friends to include your funny stories in a similar thread, there are some easy cooking tips that can improve your skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.
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The next kitchen hack is to start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.
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Andrew Gibb 6 years ago
I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones
Now that you've got the good stuff, another life hack is to use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."
A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.
Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.
Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.
#11
chi-wei shen 6 years ago
An engineer failing at the basic concept of stability is frightening.
#12
Samantha Lomb 6 years ago
In fairness you can get rye, oat, barley, chick pea and rice flours too
#18
Samantha Lomb 6 years ago
in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields
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#26
chi-wei shen 6 years ago
I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.
#30
Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 6 years ago
Easy mistake to make when the only noodle thing you ever boil is instant noodles.
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#36
Demi Zwaan 6 years ago
To be honest, it's the best way to eat a kiwi. There's a lot of nutrients in that skin and it's perfectly edible.
#40
Sadia Timmermans 6 years ago
Doesn't a garbage disposal clog up your pipes? In Europe we don't have that... So it's a real mystery to me!
#41
#42
Samantha Lomb 6 years ago
I think I have sugar. My neighbors came to borrow oil and I said I didn't have any and I don't think they believed me so I tried to give them vinegar instead. I just don't cook much. I'm one person and everything goes off before I can finish it
#44
Demi Zwaan 6 years ago
Do you expect a chef to know how to perform surgery? Then why do you expect a surgeon to know about vegetables?
#50
Tiny Dynamine 6 years ago
Guess what. It will taste the same as if the butter was on the inside!
#51
Demi Zwaan 6 years ago
Is it important that he was straight? Do gay men have an innate ability to cook that straight men lack?
#52
Carol Emory 6 years ago
Technically you can do them in oil in a saucepan, but you don't simmer them, you crank up the heat and fry them little suckers.
#53
#54
Peter O'Brien 6 years ago
Sounds like he is hugely ungrateful towards woman trying to make him happy and instead of helping them he just abuses them instead.
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What do you think ?
Susan 6 years ago
The root of all evil is bad parenting. Well, most of it anyway, and certainly this here mess which invokes in me the eternal cry: WTF is wrong with people. All children should be taught how to cook for themselves, and others.
Marlene Ricker 6 years ago
I taught both my son and my daughter to cook. Which was a good thing since my son married a woman who couldn't cook! He did all the cooking. Which served him well. He is the best cook in our family. He can go to a restaurant and have something he liked and then come home and reproduce it! This is a talent that is all his own. I don't know where he learned to cook so well, but it wasn't me who taught him!
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Saico Hipe 6 years ago
Cooking, like any skill, has nothing innately to do with one's gender or queerness/lack thereof. Societal factors sometimes dictate that 'straight men' are not taught how to cook, because it is seen as 'women's work.' It also seems to be a symptom of modern society in which people have largely given over the task of cooking for and feeding themselves and their families to major corporations. I was raised in a somewhat traditional southern culture, but there was still a heavy emphasis on cooking from BOTH of my parents. I watched them and began helping them in the kitchen as soon as I was old enough to walk. I did not realize until much later that so many other kids, even in my own town, did not have the benefit of such education. I'm not saying everyone needs to be a super chef, but the ability to cook basic meals for oneself is an invaluable life skill that everyone should learn.
Carol Emory 6 years ago
My husband never learned to cook anything from scratch growing up. Everything came out of a box or a can. He once told me him and his friends made pizza crust, but had no cheese for it so they used crushed up Cheez-its. Now, I beg him to make lasagna because it turns out perfect every time. You just have to give them time. Many of these women didn't know how to cook until someone showed them how. All you have to do is have a little patience, teach them and they will get it. Kudos to the guys that at least tried, bless their hearts.
Susan 6 years ago
The root of all evil is bad parenting. Well, most of it anyway, and certainly this here mess which invokes in me the eternal cry: WTF is wrong with people. All children should be taught how to cook for themselves, and others.
Marlene Ricker 6 years ago
I taught both my son and my daughter to cook. Which was a good thing since my son married a woman who couldn't cook! He did all the cooking. Which served him well. He is the best cook in our family. He can go to a restaurant and have something he liked and then come home and reproduce it! This is a talent that is all his own. I don't know where he learned to cook so well, but it wasn't me who taught him!
Load More Replies... Saico Hipe 6 years ago
Cooking, like any skill, has nothing innately to do with one's gender or queerness/lack thereof. Societal factors sometimes dictate that 'straight men' are not taught how to cook, because it is seen as 'women's work.' It also seems to be a symptom of modern society in which people have largely given over the task of cooking for and feeding themselves and their families to major corporations. I was raised in a somewhat traditional southern culture, but there was still a heavy emphasis on cooking from BOTH of my parents. I watched them and began helping them in the kitchen as soon as I was old enough to walk. I did not realize until much later that so many other kids, even in my own town, did not have the benefit of such education. I'm not saying everyone needs to be a super chef, but the ability to cook basic meals for oneself is an invaluable life skill that everyone should learn.
Carol Emory 6 years ago
My husband never learned to cook anything from scratch growing up. Everything came out of a box or a can. He once told me him and his friends made pizza crust, but had no cheese for it so they used crushed up Cheez-its. Now, I beg him to make lasagna because it turns out perfect every time. You just have to give them time. Many of these women didn't know how to cook until someone showed them how. All you have to do is have a little patience, teach them and they will get it. Kudos to the guys that at least tried, bless their hearts.
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