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Parents Use Older Teen As Free Babysitter For Autistic Sibling, Mad She Had Birthday Without Sis
Parents always try to do what’s best for their children because their goal is to see their little ones happy. The only trouble is that even though their intentions might be pure, they might sometimes cause problems for their kids by forcing them to do things they don’t want to do.
This is what a teen faced all her life because her parents made her take her unruly autistic sibling along to every single event and birthday party. That’s why the teen finally celebrated turning 18 in secret, but this led to a lot of drama.
More info: Reddit
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When parents enable one kid, it can cause resentment among the other children, especially if they are always punished for their actions
Image credits: Magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that her 16-year-old sister had autism and that her parents didn’t enforce any boundaries for the girl, which is why she always caused disruptions everywhere
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the older teen’s parents always made her take her unruly sibling along to hangouts with friends, for birthdays, and to movies, which made her feel frustrated
Image credits: benzoix / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Eventually, the teen decided to celebrate her 18th birthday party secretly with her friends, but when her parents found out she didn’t include her sister, they were mad
Image credits: ThrowRAIndowren
Since the poster’s parents were so angry about her decision to exclude her sibling, she moved out to try and get some space from them, but she still felt quite guilty
The teen explained that since her sister was autistic, their parents always made her take her younger sibling along whenever she went out. The adults also didn’t set any boundaries around their daughter’s social behavior, so she often interrupted others, disrupted get-togethers, criticized people, and even stared at them while they were eating.
According to autism advocates, when parents don’t set appropriate boundaries for their kids who have this condition, it can make it difficult for them to fit in with their peers or be accepted. Since they may also have trouble with emotional regulation and social cues, the adults in their lives need to act as guides, which can make things easier for them.
Unfortunately, in this case, the poster’s parents enabled her sibling’s bad behavior and saddled her with the responsibility of taking care of her sister. That’s why she had to have the younger girl by her side for every social event, even if she acted too loudly, behaved rudely with folks, or made people uncomfortable.
When guardians coddle their one kid like this and turn a blind eye to bad behavior, experts say it can cause resentment among the other siblings. This is especially true if the other children are punished for their wrongdoings, while their brother or sister might be allowed to get away with anything.
Image credits: wip-studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Since the teen had a history of bringing her sister along for every birthday, she finally decided she didn’t want her 18th to be like that. So, she secretly planned to hang out with her friends on the big day, and even stayed over at her bestie’s place so that she could avoid her parents finding out.
The problem is that when she finally told her mom and dad about what she had done, they were furious at her. They also admitted that they would definitely have made her take her younger sister to the party if they had known she was going to celebrate it. They truly didn’t seem to realize why their daughter had gone to such extreme lengths.
Every child wants to make their parents proud, but counselors explain that sometimes you might have to do things they disapprove of, and that’s okay too. It’s not always possible to appease the adults in your life because doing so might take you away from your life path, so it’s sometimes better to stop waiting for their approval.
This is exactly why the teen had decided on having a secret birthday party, and even though she had enjoyed it, she felt bad about how much pain it had caused her parents. Since they were so angry at her, she ended up moving out just to get some space from them, and she didn’t know if they would ever forgive her.
Do you think the 18-year-old did the right thing by having a birthday party and not letting her sister join in the celebrations? We’d love to get your honest thoughts on this story.
Netizens sided with the poster and felt that her parents were only mad because she stood up to them, and they lost out on their free childcare
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What do you think ?
GatorGran 1 day ago
A huge thumbs down to the parents. Not only are they enabling their younger daughter to run amok, but they are alienating their older child. Autism does not mean incapable. I taught many children with autism in my 43 year career. Each child is different. I wonder how the parents will deal with it when they are elderly and she is all they have to rely on? Empathy doesn't come naturally for everyone but it can be taught, or at least tolerance. Kudos to the older daughter for taking back control of her life.
Beak Hookage 1 day ago
When I was younger I did the "talking inappropriately and lecturing people" thing. Guess what, I learned not to do that because my parents didn't enable me like this. Now during conversations I'll often stop to check in and make sure I'm not boring the other person by checking their facial expression and asking "are you still interested?" The parents have no excuse and have sc.rewed both their kids over.
Vinnie 22 hours ago
I still have to check myself like a parent with a kid. While it'll never be perfect, my track record for two-way conversation is much improved. I hadn't thought of using "are you still interested", but I sometimes use, "did I tell you about XYZ?"
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 1 day ago
The best course of action here is to put the parents on a nice long break. No communication at all, no response to texts or phone calls. Block them on all social media and let the situation air out for a year or two. I wouldn't discuss it further, I'd just ghost them for the foreseeable future. A simple reminder that you have choices too.
GatorGran 1 day ago
A huge thumbs down to the parents. Not only are they enabling their younger daughter to run amok, but they are alienating their older child. Autism does not mean incapable. I taught many children with autism in my 43 year career. Each child is different. I wonder how the parents will deal with it when they are elderly and she is all they have to rely on? Empathy doesn't come naturally for everyone but it can be taught, or at least tolerance. Kudos to the older daughter for taking back control of her life.
Beak Hookage 1 day ago
When I was younger I did the "talking inappropriately and lecturing people" thing. Guess what, I learned not to do that because my parents didn't enable me like this. Now during conversations I'll often stop to check in and make sure I'm not boring the other person by checking their facial expression and asking "are you still interested?" The parents have no excuse and have sc.rewed both their kids over.
Vinnie 22 hours ago
I still have to check myself like a parent with a kid. While it'll never be perfect, my track record for two-way conversation is much improved. I hadn't thought of using "are you still interested", but I sometimes use, "did I tell you about XYZ?"
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 1 day ago
The best course of action here is to put the parents on a nice long break. No communication at all, no response to texts or phone calls. Block them on all social media and let the situation air out for a year or two. I wouldn't discuss it further, I'd just ghost them for the foreseeable future. A simple reminder that you have choices too.
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