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Daughter Who Was Disowned By Her Parents For Being Gay Refuses To Support Them Financially, Wonders If She’s Being Cruel
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Daughter Who Was Disowned By Her Parents For Being Gay Refuses To Support Them Financially, Wonders If She’s Being Cruel

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Coming out can be an incredibly difficult and scary experience, especially when the people closest to you react negatively. For Reddit user MadeTheirBed_aita, it resulted in her being disowned by her entire family.

Despite the challenges she faced, however, the woman was able to build a happy life. But then, when everything seemed going great, her parents reached out for help after facing financial struggles, and she was faced with a difficult decision.

This woman came out to her folks when she was 18

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

And her biggest fears came true; her family kicked her out

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Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

Image credits: madetheirbed_aita

Parental support is crucial in helping children and teens cope with adversity

Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), parental, family, and caregiver support is very valuable in helping children and youth cope with adversity, especially if they encounter stigma or prejudice associated with factors such as their race/ethnicity, gender, disability, sexuality, weight or socioeconomic status.

For example, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth who are accepted by family members and caregivers are more likely to exhibit healthy development in adolescence, e.g., participating actively with peers, showing personal autonomy, and looking forward to the future. So it’s both sad that the author of the post had to grow up as an outcast and heartwarming that she managed to pull through regardless.

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“Unconditional love can be problematic”

Image credits: ORION_production (not the actual photo)

In an increasingly polarized world, conversations about children who stop speaking to their parents have become somewhat common. Yet it also happens the other way around, even if the frequency is much lower. A 2015 study conducted by the British estrangement charity Stand Alone showed that 5% of estranged parents had initiated it themselves.

“In both research and popular culture, we rarely hear from parents who estrange themselves from their children because it’s so taboo, and there are very few non-judgemental places to speak openly about the experience,” Lucy Blake, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of West England, Bristol, who specializes in estrangement, told the BBC.

The reasons parents end relationships with their children are similar to the reasons kids cut off their parents. Blake said that among the most commonly cited are family conflict, differences in personal values (such as religious beliefs), substance abuse, and other toxic behavior.

As people reacted to the story, its author provided more info on her situation in the comments

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People thought she did nothing wrong and that it’s her parents who need to take a good look in the mirror

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she handled this exactly right. She was classy not to rub the bio parents’ faces in it, and kind to find those resources for the bio mother. She has taken the high road

19jackspence87 avatar
Jack S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, huge props to her for being the better person. I would not have been so kind I think. I wouldn't have just rubbed their faces in it. I'd have outright taken a metaphorical dump on their entire lives and laughed while doing it. That probably makes me a pretty s****y person but that kind of injustice really just eats at me.

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georgeduncan avatar
George D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If you think about it pragmatically, if they were not in financial straits you would have never heard from them for the rest of your life. Ever. You owe them zero.

ericgibbs avatar
Eric G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh come on, that's just cynical. They probably would have contacted her if she won the lottery too.

Load More Replies...
katehaslam avatar
SkyBlueandBlack
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only thing I'd change would've been to say, "I'm sorry, who is this? Do I know you?" when dad called. "Father? No, doesn't ring a bell. You must have the wrong number, bye."

ltdn_org avatar
Karen Grace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or... Father/Parents? I don't have any Father/Parents. Mine disowned me. So you must have the wrong number etc...

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catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she handled this exactly right. She was classy not to rub the bio parents’ faces in it, and kind to find those resources for the bio mother. She has taken the high road

19jackspence87 avatar
Jack S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, huge props to her for being the better person. I would not have been so kind I think. I wouldn't have just rubbed their faces in it. I'd have outright taken a metaphorical dump on their entire lives and laughed while doing it. That probably makes me a pretty s****y person but that kind of injustice really just eats at me.

Load More Replies...
georgeduncan avatar
George D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If you think about it pragmatically, if they were not in financial straits you would have never heard from them for the rest of your life. Ever. You owe them zero.

ericgibbs avatar
Eric G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh come on, that's just cynical. They probably would have contacted her if she won the lottery too.

Load More Replies...
katehaslam avatar
SkyBlueandBlack
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only thing I'd change would've been to say, "I'm sorry, who is this? Do I know you?" when dad called. "Father? No, doesn't ring a bell. You must have the wrong number, bye."

ltdn_org avatar
Karen Grace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or... Father/Parents? I don't have any Father/Parents. Mine disowned me. So you must have the wrong number etc...

Load More Replies...
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