It's somewhat ironic that I'm writing this post about office jokes (no, not the jokes from The Office) while working from the office. Don't get me wrong, I like my job and writing for you peeps or Pandas, whichever you prefer, but let's all be dead honest here. We would all prefer to be somewhere else other than at work. But ya know, we've got bills to pay and responsibilities to fulfill. So I've got a solution for us all. Technically, one shouldn't be doing anything non-work-related. But you know what still counts as job-related? That's right, funny office jokes, jokes for work, you name it!
So whenever you want to take a short quick break from the VERY important stuff you are doing, funny work jokes it is! And if your boss ever asks what you are looking at on the screen, say, "Uhm, research?" Quips aside, whether at work during your lunch break or in the restroom while doing number two, reading jokes about work is one way to make that 9-5 grind flow a little faster and slightly more bearable. And suppose you think that there is no space or time for jokes in the workplace. In that case, I assume you are the boss the employees don't particularly like, to put it in the nicest way possible.
Below, we have gathered an extensive list of the best work jokes we could find from the cornucopia that is the internet. Also, if you want something to take your mind off work, we have more funny jokes up our sleeves! Check out these witty two-liners here.
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As a security guard, my Boss said my job is to watch the office.
I’m on season 6 so far, and not sure what this has to do with security.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees. So I just stared at him until he apologized.
Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually.
It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
I don’t mind coming to work; it’s the eight-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.
Told my boss 3 companies are after me so I need a pay rise. He asked me which 3 companies they were.
"Gas, electric & water".
HR manager: “Just go to hell!”
Me: “So, should I stay or leave? I’m confused.”
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one — him or me — I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee who has the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
The trouble with being punctual for business meetings is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
How long have I been working for this company?
Ever since they threatened to fire me.
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a workstation, so…
"The Buck Stops Here", well, that explains no raises in this office...
What’s the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?
If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
happened to me, and how old are you? its all online. also took most us 8-10 weeks to get approved, even when we knew what to do! some never even got it! Florida
My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke.
So I put my paycheck on the first slide.
If you think your job sucks, remember whenever a famous personality dies, someone at Wikipedia has to change all the verbs to past tense.
I went for an interview for an office job today. The interviewer told me I’d start on $2,000 a month, which would increase to $2,500 a month in six months’ time.
I told them I’d start in six months.
Employer: “We need someone responsible for the job.”
Job applicant: “Sir, your search ends here! In my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.”
This is so me! Still baffles me why people ask me to do things, unless they like things spontaneously combusting lol
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person that upset you. Instant de-stress.
Why was music coming from the office printer?
The paper was jamming.
I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.
Never put off things for tomorrow what you can put off today.
Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else!
Note: this post originally had 132 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
It's about avoiding work you get payed to do. Read these aloud when you baltic dumbasses b***h about how horrible some bosses are.
It's about avoiding work you get payed to do. Read these aloud when you baltic dumbasses b***h about how horrible some bosses are.
