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Words can lift people up; but, just as equally, they can hurt. Sometimes, we might not even realize that the things we say to others are perhaps less than appropriate. That can be especially true when we make gender-specific comments, maybe even more so when they're directed towards women.
After all, the general public seems to think that women have it a bit worse than men at the moment. A recent survey by King's College London revealed that 48% of people in the UK think that it's harder to be a woman than a man today, while 14% say the opposite.
And the comments under a recent thread by netizen @rombesk might reflect just that. When the user posted the question "Name something people say to women without realizing it's offensive?" on Threads, almost three thousand women came prepared with answers. Scroll down and see what women are sick of hearing from strangers and people they know alike.
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#1
When a young woman says she doesn’t want to have children and the immediate response is, “you’ll change your mind.”
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#3
You should smile more. If you think I don’t smile enough around you, then you need to ask yourself why.
#4
You cut your hair so short! What does your husband say about it?
Nothing. It’s not his hair. It’s my hair.
#5
When a man is home with his kids while the wife is out and it’s called babysitting or watching the kids. No, that mofo helped make those kids, he’s no babysitting he’s being a father.
#6
“When are you going to start a family?” “Why don’t you have any kids?” “Why do you have so many kids?” “Why don’t you have more kids?” “Who’s the father?” “Where’s the father?” “Why don’t you want kids?” “Aren’t you being selfish by not having any kids?” “Aren’t you being selfish by having kids?” Leave. Our. Bodies. Alone.
#7
I always have to remind my husband not to say to my teen daughter: wow i guess you were hungry! When she finishes all of her dinner
#8
While in Home Depot, I was picking out lumber for a project I drafted. I knew what I needed. Every 4 minutes a male staff member would ask if I needed help, or where my husband was at.
It got worse… When a different customer said “can I get help over here” and the old troll of an employee says “no I’m helping this young lady over here.”
I turned around and said “Excuse me. I said NUMEROUS TIMES I do not need help. Now why don’t you actually go help someone who is actually asking for help.”
#9
Dismissing ideas put forward by a woman, but when a man says the same thing suddenly its a good plan
#11
While looking to buy an Audi S4 (sports package), 2 sales guys said to me separately: “That’s a lot of car for you.” I did buy the car btw. Picked a different salesperson and reported the other two guys to the manager!
#12
I helped her today...when it's just chores that need to be done...you're doing your job as a member of the household, not helping her
#13
When men will defend other men without even knowing them, just to disbelieve a woman they do know. Always explaining another man’s actions away and justifying what happens to us.
#14
You look good for someone who just had a baby.
You look good for your age.
Just say YOU LOOK GOOD.
#17
“You don’t know love/responsibility until you’ve had kids”
“You’re not an adult/mature until you’ve had kids”
#18
Me: no thank you I’m not interested im a lesbian
Them: nahhh don’t believe you, you just haven’t had good d*** yet
#21
Guy made me so mad once I ran out of words and to my great annoyance began to cry. Totally thrillled, he tried to wrap his arms around me and said, “see? What I love about women is their fragility.” I was thinking sir I would urge you to scoot for the door before I get any more ‘fragile’
#22
When people call me “young lady” I’m fifty years old. When you say that you’re just pointing out that I’m not in fact a young lady.
#23
Are you sure your very real physical pain isn’t it just because you’re a bit emotional right now. You must just be stressed. When was your last period?
#24
When a man is given financial awards & accolades for just doing his job and the woman has to do 10,000 times more just to get nothing.
#25
"Can I speak with your husband?" About buying a car, bank accounts, household repairs, etc.
#27
“i’m not really into the drama” when you’re sticking up for yourself in a kind and professional manner but assuming it’s “drama” bc you’re a woman
#28
Maybe they realize it’s offensive but I hate when people on the internet say the only reason mothers work is because they are selfish and want luxury stuff, as if we are not working hard to provide for our families just like men do.
#30
Calling us “sweetheart” or “honey” when they aren’t family or our significant other…. It’s like I’m sorry but I’m not your sweetheart and we’re full grown women not little girls
#31
Male boss referring to staff of women made up of specialists and licensed professionals ‘the girls’. A woman wouldn’t walk into a boardroom of men and address them as boys.
#32
Started my new job a few weeks ago alongside another trainee who was a male. During training our lead asked us, "Have you guys ever purchased car parts?"
*looks at me* "You probably haven't right?"
*looks at male trainee* "You probably have."
???????????
#33
“You’re just going to have to forgive him and move on with the relationship,” after he’s been found cheating.
#34
“Would you get drunk for me at least once time?” “I really want to see you drunk” “I bet you’d be really fun drunk” - I have never drunk alcohol in my life yet men say this to me all the time
#35
When they tell you "you're too smart for your own good, and guys don't like women who are smarter than them." Or "you ask too many questions, just hush up and listen."
#36
When people find out you’ve had a C section and say something about “taking the easy way out”
#38
When one of my clients (I'm an attorney) suggests I should consult with one of the "more experienced" attorneys in my firm. I am one of the most experienced attorneys in my firm, so I know they mean they want me to ask a man.
#39
Having to say “no” multiple times as a single female homeowner to vendors stopping by. But when I say my “husband” handles that and he’s not here, they don’t continue their sales pitch and just leave.
I frequently don’t feel respected by sales men, like my “no, I’m not interested” carries less weight than a man’s. One of my favorite relationship moments was when a guy I had been dating asked me my opinion in the middle of a roofing sales pitch, it wasn’t even my roof we were discussing.
#40
When I'm in the middle of saying something and man talks over me. So rude and tells me they do not value me
#41
When men get offended by anything suggesting they might have a feminine trait or like they wouldn’t want to wear a pink shirt because it’s considered a girl color. As if it’s lesser just because it’s associated more often with women.
#42
anytime i’m speaking on something im very knowledgeable and passionate about and someone feels the need to question me down to the littlest detail to “test” me or says “why, how, explain” in response to me talking. i’d go as far to say its outright misogyny.
#43
i’m tired of hearing “you’re so pretty but you gotta take that thing (my septum piercing) out of your nose, it’s not doing you any favors” if you wanna tell someone you think they’re pretty, just tell them you think they’re pretty. why insult a choice they clearly made, and one that personally i’m happy with?
#45
When a colleague appologizes for cursing or discussing something vagueliy offesive. Asking forgiveness from the only woman present (you). And you are left pondering what would happen if you caved to the intrusive thoughts and staged a gasping faint..
#46
Asking a SAHM "when are you going back to work?" As if what a mom does isn't contributing to the family..
#51
A male boss said, “Oh you’re good at this (my job.)” I agreed and said, “I hope so, I’ve been doing this for a long time.” Then he said,”well aren’t you gracious.” So when he says it, it’s okay and I’m supposed to be thankful and when I agree or reinforce that, I’m arrogant and not gracious
#53
'You're married? And your husband let you out?' As if this is a compliment to your attractiveness.
#57
According to men, women can’t be interested in anything without either being obsessed with it or knowing every single fact and detail about them, or if your interest happens to be in a musician men just interrogate you about their discography or their personal lives and if you can’t answer every single question they act like they can revoke your fanhood.
#60
Calling us females. Reducing us to only our reproductive organs is degrading. We are women or ladies.
#62
When men feel the need to nudge you while speaking. Like keep your hands to yourself. Thank you.
#64
Is offensive to assume we’re going to vote for a presidential candidate because she’s a woman. We have brains and some of us use them to educate ourselves on the issues.
#65
That's *actually* a really good idea/project/phrasing/repair/opinion. If it's a surprise? Ouch.
#66
When you're talking to a male, and they say, 'My wife handles all that', like she's a slave, rather than his financial superior and caring for said man-toddler
#68
When young men assume their interest should be flattering to you, it’s really weird. They ALL say: “Age is nothing but a number.” …but I have to reply “and yet you’re too young to know what my age actually means.”
#70
Ladies. Stop calling women ladies. Goes to women too. Stop saying ladies. Everyone stop it.
What do you think ?
Bacon Tentacles 1 year ago
I remember when my parents got divorced in the 70's, when I was in the single-digits. My mom, who had been working all of her life, struggled to establish her own financial and credit history, because women couldn't have lines of credit. Something unthinkable in this day and age was very real back then. It really hasn't gotten THAT much better 50 years later.
Lyone Fein 1 year ago (edited)
It will take more than 50 years to undo thousands of years of global culture. This goes for all longstanding (and often subconscious) prejudices: gender discrimination, religious hierarchies, anti-queer beliefs, antisemitism, racism, ablism, etc. These have been around longer than most writing systems. We just need to keep working generation by generation to overturn the hatred and make a better world.
Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago
Ok I have issues with the poll question. It's an incomplete question. Do you agree with the 48% who think it's harder to be a woman today? As opposed to what? The 1950s? Being a man? Yesterday?
Bacon Tentacles 1 year ago
I remember when my parents got divorced in the 70's, when I was in the single-digits. My mom, who had been working all of her life, struggled to establish her own financial and credit history, because women couldn't have lines of credit. Something unthinkable in this day and age was very real back then. It really hasn't gotten THAT much better 50 years later.
Lyone Fein 1 year ago (edited)
It will take more than 50 years to undo thousands of years of global culture. This goes for all longstanding (and often subconscious) prejudices: gender discrimination, religious hierarchies, anti-queer beliefs, antisemitism, racism, ablism, etc. These have been around longer than most writing systems. We just need to keep working generation by generation to overturn the hatred and make a better world.
Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago
Ok I have issues with the poll question. It's an incomplete question. Do you agree with the 48% who think it's harder to be a woman today? As opposed to what? The 1950s? Being a man? Yesterday?
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