Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
When planning a wedding menu, many couples aim for a mix of their favorite dishes and crowd-pleasers. With the rise in plant-based lifestyles, many weddings now include vegetarian or vegan options. But what if a couple’s choice doesn’t align with their family’s expectations?
This very scenario played out when one woman turned to the internet for advice after her mother objected to her and her fiancé’s decision to offer only vegetarian food at their wedding. The couple, who primarily follow a vegan lifestyle, felt that supporting the meat industry on their big day contradicted their values. However, her mother argued that restricting the menu would be unfair to guests. Keep reading to see how others weigh in on this ethical and dietary debate.
RELATED:
Couples often aim to create a wedding menu that aligns with their values and personal tastes
Image credits: S O C I A L . C U T / unsplash (not the actual photo)
A bride-to-be shared her dilemma after her mother voiced concerns over her decision to have a fully vegetarian wedding menu
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PurpleUnicorn434
The bride-to-be shared more details about her plans for the food menu on her big day
For wedding guests, the food often stands out as one of the most memorable parts of the celebration, leaving a lasting impression
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Setting the menu for your wedding can be one of the most fun (and delicious) parts of planning. From elegant dishes like gourmet steak to playful additions like a cotton candy stand, there’s no limit to what you can dream up. Couples now have the freedom to design a menu that reflects their personalities and tastes, making the food experience memorable for everyone.
Let’s be real: while guests love the heartfelt vows and the fun dance floor, the food often becomes the star of the evening. It’s a chance to indulge, celebrate, and enjoy a special meal together. Food is, for many, a highlight they eagerly look forward to.
Catering is one of the most expensive parts of a wedding. According to ‘The Knot’s 2023 Real Weddings Study’, newlyweds are spending an average of $85 per guest on catering. This includes everything from appetizers to desserts, making it a major part of the budget.
Surprisingly, catering costs per guest remain fairly stable regardless of guest count. For instance, weddings with 50 guests spent around $85 per person, while those with 51-100 guests spent slightly less on average. Larger weddings with over 100 guests also stayed in the same range, costing about $86 per person. So, for a wedding of 50 guests, a couple can expect a catering bill of around $4,250 and it scales up quickly as the guest list grows.
These days, more couples are making their menus inclusive, offering options like dairy-free or gluten-free dishes to ensure everyone can enjoy the meal
Image credits: Luisa Brimble / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many couples are adding a personal touch to their wedding menu. According to the survey, about 14% of newlyweds included dishes inspired by their culture or hometowns. It’s a lovely way to bring guests closer to the couple’s heritage and to make the celebration feel more intimate and meaningful.
Today’s couples are also focusing on inclusivity. Approximately 61% of those surveyed by ‘The Knot’ offered options for guests with dietary restrictions, from gluten-free to vegan selections. Offering a diverse menu has become essential, making sure all guests feel welcomed and included in the celebration.
For this particular couple, the decision to have a meat-free wedding menu reflected their vegan lifestyle. They felt it was important not to spend money on meat out of personal beliefs, hoping their guests would understand. However, the bride’s mother questioned if it was fair, asking how they’d feel if another wedding only served meat options.
Couples face unique challenges when balancing their preferences with guests’ expectations. Food is often a sensitive topic, and many families expect certain dishes to be served at a wedding. For those going against the norm, like serving only vegetarian dishes, they may encounter mixed reactions from family and friends who expect traditional fare.
This topic brings up an interesting question for many of us: where do you stand on having an all-vegetarian wedding menu? Do you think it’s fair to ask guests to step outside their usual preferences for one day? What’s one food you’d love to see at a wedding? Would you go traditional, or stick with something unique to you and your partner’s tastes?
Some people said it’s entirely up to the author to decide what’s on the menu, since it’s her wedding
A few others felt it was unfair to make non-vegetarian guests eat only vegetarian food
Others chimed in with their own stories of attending weddings with veggie menus and actually enjoying the meals
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
BlackestDawn 7 months ago
Yeah, even if OP phrased it as one day it may very well be just one single meal. I just don't get people like this, it seems to me they think that not having a meat option is an attack on them or their "life style".
Load More Replies...
Pencil 7 months ago
I'll bet if OP had just chosen an Italian menu, they probably could have made it vegetarian without anyone even noticing. Eggplant parmesan, mushroom ravioli, pasta primavera... so many Italian dishes that either don't have or can easily be made without meat that are standard fare for omnivores.
ANGEL M 7 months ago
I'm omnivore(but cant tollerate wheat). But I really have to laugh at people when they get up in arms about being provided a vegetarian dish. It's so completely different being only given meat as an option than being asked to have a veg based dish.
Do-nut touch da donut 7 months ago (edited)
But... arent we all omnivores? (Excluding vegiees and vegans)... also frrr, most wedding ive gone to the vegiterian opt is usually the safest choice haha better then dried chicken or mystery meat
Load More Replies...
LilliVB 7 months ago
I'm not vegetarian/vegan. Nobody in my family is. But it happens for more than one meal throughout the week that we have only vegetarian/vegan food. As long as it is tasty and balanced, why not? Furthermore, all meat eaters eat vegan/vegetarian food. It's not like that not having meat means they don't have anything to eat. SMH.
GlitterPanda 7 months ago
I doubt a single one of those YTA people actually eat meat at every single meal.
Paul Rabit 7 months ago
I can't possibly imagine skipping a whole wedding reception because I just don't like what's on the menu.
Sarah Ellison 7 months ago
I would personally love to attend a vegan/vegetarian wedding! What a splendid opportunity to try foods I normally wouldn't and maybe expand my recipe book.
Nikole 7 months ago
I did! My brother and SIL (and later their two sons) are vegetarians and they only had vegetarian food at their wedding. It was delicious!
Load More Replies...
Paulina 7 months ago
NTA, obviously. It's completely different to be offered ONLY meat options when you're not able to eat it (for whatever reason), than to be given plenty of good, edible food, just without one ingredient. If they said they'll have a reception without tomatoes, would tomato lovers rebel in the same way??
Tonyah Mcanelly 7 months ago
Its the bride and grooms choice Its their day . They are paying for everything idf some one doesn't like a free meal they don't have to eat. Im not vegan but I have had some pretty tasty vegan dishes . There is always that one person who is going to be un happy about something they arent paying for.
BookFanatic 7 months ago
I'd be thrilled to go to a vegetarian/vegan event. My idea of "no meat" is usually a bowl of veggies or pasta. Be fun to see what else is out there.
Lace Neil 7 months ago
I can eat vegetarian food as long as it's made of vegetables and not fake meat. I have an intolerance to most fake meat. Also, I hate mushrooms and a lot of veggie options contain mushrooms. Other than that, I'm good.
Katchen 7 months ago
My hatred of mushrooms stops me from enjoying more vegetarian food as well. I have tried to like them but blech.
Load More Replies...
Another Panda 7 months ago
NTA. As long as they are mindful of potential allergies/sensitives (which it sounds like they are), one meat free day is actually a good thing. Some people are allergic to soy, quorn, mushrooms, mould cheeses, etc, so one would potentially have to be careful with any meat substitutes. As long as there is good food, and perhaps labeling of ingredients if there are any concerns, it sounds lovely.
Squirrelly Panda 7 months ago
My hubby has some limitations on his diet. When we go to a wedding or other event where we are not sure he can eat the food we haul an ice chest with some food for him. So easy for him to slip out to the car for a nosh. No muss, no fuss, and no added stress to the hosts.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
I would suggest something like quiche, which isn't vegetarian but leans in that direction.
Betsy S 7 months ago
Could quiche not be made vegetarian? Not vegan of course because of the eggs, but why would you need to put meat into a quiche?
Load More Replies... weatherwitch 7 months ago
Sounds Wonderful to me and I love meat. Goats cheese tartlets, great salad, foodie heaven for me ❤️
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
When it comes to vegetarian food options, I would rather "present" as what it contains (grilled cheese, omlette with mushrooms, bean salad, to take a few common, traditional examples) instead of what it lacks (bacon-free omelette, chleese platter w/o cold cuts.) I bet very few would ask about 'is there some chicken in that grilled cheese?'
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
This is like the people who can't go through someone else's wedding without a drink. Get over yourself. or bring your own fried chicken.
Betsy S 7 months ago
As someone else said, vegan/vegetarian recipes can use a lot of allergens in them. I cannot tolerate soy, gluten or dairy, so meat is a good option for me. That said, I only eat meat for my dinner 3 nights a week. The rest of the time, it's eggs, fish or soup. Yay budget! But I rarely if ever would include meat in a lunch, and never in a breakfast. People don't realize how often they eat full meals or full recipes that simply don't have any meat in them, and they enjoy it anyway. Pack a pepperoni stick in your purse just in case, and give it a try, as long as there are sufficient foods clearly labeled as gluten-free, dairy-free AND soy-free (all in the same dish).
Karen Bryan 6 months ago
I participated in a wedding of two dear friends some years back (I was asked to read a poem, and I felt honored to do so). They are vegetarian, and I don't thinl anybody even noticed that there wasn't meat on the menu. But then, this was an outdoor affair, very informal, food served buffet style. It was lovely. Anybody who can't be satisfied with a good vegetarian spread can stop on the way home for a burger and not make a big deal about it. This is all so silly. (This couple had their dog as ring bearer. We all loved it.)
The Other Guest 7 months ago
The whole "you'd expect a veggie option therefore you must provide us with a meat option" is based on the erroneous belief that the etiquette rule is "guest gets to decide on the menu." It's not; the rule is "a good host provides food that their guests CAN eat." Someone who eats meat, barring health conditions, can eat a vegetarian meal. A vegetarian/vegan cannot eat meat. And as Pencil (sort of) said in their comment, unless it's pointed out to them, people are unlikely to notice the lack of meat in a well-planned veggie meal.
Mark Childers 7 months ago
I'm guessing that every YTA is from the U.S. where it seems criminal to go a meal without meat. There are a ton of awesome meatless dishes that people eat every day without thinking "where's the meat?" Trying new food, anyway, is always fun. I think this couple should go for it and have their vegetarian wedding.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Are you... classifying all Americans as weak-willed carnivores who can't go a single meal without meat? There are TONS of vegetarians and vegans in the US, trust me. I live in SoCal and there are three vegan restaurants within a 10-minite drive of where I live. I actually love meat, but I also really enjoy vegetarian/vegan food as well. "Americans" as a whole aren't all idiots who can't handle going a single meal without meat.
Load More Replies...
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 7 months ago
This feels like a toothpaste cap argument: that old thing about couples arguing about who left the cap off, but it’s never about just the cap. It’s about an escalating tension over a long, running dispute. Because realistically, they could offer vegetable lasagna and pasta Primavera and nobody would blink. There are tons of good vegetable-based foods that would allow them to honor their own beliefs and not deprive their guests. Also, anyone it really bothers can simply decline the invitation. It feels more like the mom trying to control the situation or continuing to judge her daughter’s choice of being primarily vegan. Her mother seems to object to a nonconforming part of her daughter and is telling her she has to conform for others comfort. Realistically, any grown adult can decide to attend a wedding and do without meat for a few hours at best or swing through the drive-through on the way to the ceremony if need be. Wedding food is always a little bit of a crapshoot.
Emily 7 months ago
IDK, I am honestly torn on this one; the commenters saying that the OP would expect a vegetarian/vegan option to provided them aren't necessarily wrong. It's considered, by and large, a faux pas to not have at least a vegetarian option on a menu these days. I also agree that it is OPs wedding and they can do whatever they want.... just be prepared that there will ALWAYS be someone who is unhappy. It won't k**l anyone to eat veggie for an afternoon (and, in most cases, the same argument could be made for a meat lovers wedding too, just sayin), and it is not a hill that I would die on as I love vegetables and don't eat a lot of meat anyway, but, I do think politeness and consideration is a two way street. If you expect your non veggie friends to provide for you at functions then, as a courtesy, it might be nice to have a meat option as well.
BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago
Obviously you've never heard of spinach lasagna..
Load More Replies...
BlackestDawn 7 months ago
Yeah, even if OP phrased it as one day it may very well be just one single meal. I just don't get people like this, it seems to me they think that not having a meat option is an attack on them or their "life style".
Load More Replies... Pencil 7 months ago
I'll bet if OP had just chosen an Italian menu, they probably could have made it vegetarian without anyone even noticing. Eggplant parmesan, mushroom ravioli, pasta primavera... so many Italian dishes that either don't have or can easily be made without meat that are standard fare for omnivores.
ANGEL M 7 months ago
I'm omnivore(but cant tollerate wheat). But I really have to laugh at people when they get up in arms about being provided a vegetarian dish. It's so completely different being only given meat as an option than being asked to have a veg based dish.
Do-nut touch da donut 7 months ago (edited)
But... arent we all omnivores? (Excluding vegiees and vegans)... also frrr, most wedding ive gone to the vegiterian opt is usually the safest choice haha better then dried chicken or mystery meat
Load More Replies... LilliVB 7 months ago
I'm not vegetarian/vegan. Nobody in my family is. But it happens for more than one meal throughout the week that we have only vegetarian/vegan food. As long as it is tasty and balanced, why not? Furthermore, all meat eaters eat vegan/vegetarian food. It's not like that not having meat means they don't have anything to eat. SMH.
GlitterPanda 7 months ago
I doubt a single one of those YTA people actually eat meat at every single meal.
Paul Rabit 7 months ago
I can't possibly imagine skipping a whole wedding reception because I just don't like what's on the menu.
Sarah Ellison 7 months ago
I would personally love to attend a vegan/vegetarian wedding! What a splendid opportunity to try foods I normally wouldn't and maybe expand my recipe book.
Nikole 7 months ago
I did! My brother and SIL (and later their two sons) are vegetarians and they only had vegetarian food at their wedding. It was delicious!
Load More Replies... Paulina 7 months ago
NTA, obviously. It's completely different to be offered ONLY meat options when you're not able to eat it (for whatever reason), than to be given plenty of good, edible food, just without one ingredient. If they said they'll have a reception without tomatoes, would tomato lovers rebel in the same way??
Tonyah Mcanelly 7 months ago
Its the bride and grooms choice Its their day . They are paying for everything idf some one doesn't like a free meal they don't have to eat. Im not vegan but I have had some pretty tasty vegan dishes . There is always that one person who is going to be un happy about something they arent paying for.
BookFanatic 7 months ago
I'd be thrilled to go to a vegetarian/vegan event. My idea of "no meat" is usually a bowl of veggies or pasta. Be fun to see what else is out there.
Lace Neil 7 months ago
I can eat vegetarian food as long as it's made of vegetables and not fake meat. I have an intolerance to most fake meat. Also, I hate mushrooms and a lot of veggie options contain mushrooms. Other than that, I'm good.
Katchen 7 months ago
My hatred of mushrooms stops me from enjoying more vegetarian food as well. I have tried to like them but blech.
Load More Replies... Another Panda 7 months ago
NTA. As long as they are mindful of potential allergies/sensitives (which it sounds like they are), one meat free day is actually a good thing. Some people are allergic to soy, quorn, mushrooms, mould cheeses, etc, so one would potentially have to be careful with any meat substitutes. As long as there is good food, and perhaps labeling of ingredients if there are any concerns, it sounds lovely.
Squirrelly Panda 7 months ago
My hubby has some limitations on his diet. When we go to a wedding or other event where we are not sure he can eat the food we haul an ice chest with some food for him. So easy for him to slip out to the car for a nosh. No muss, no fuss, and no added stress to the hosts.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
I would suggest something like quiche, which isn't vegetarian but leans in that direction.
Betsy S 7 months ago
Could quiche not be made vegetarian? Not vegan of course because of the eggs, but why would you need to put meat into a quiche?
Load More Replies... weatherwitch 7 months ago
Sounds Wonderful to me and I love meat. Goats cheese tartlets, great salad, foodie heaven for me ❤️
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
When it comes to vegetarian food options, I would rather "present" as what it contains (grilled cheese, omlette with mushrooms, bean salad, to take a few common, traditional examples) instead of what it lacks (bacon-free omelette, chleese platter w/o cold cuts.) I bet very few would ask about 'is there some chicken in that grilled cheese?'
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
This is like the people who can't go through someone else's wedding without a drink. Get over yourself. or bring your own fried chicken.
Betsy S 7 months ago
As someone else said, vegan/vegetarian recipes can use a lot of allergens in them. I cannot tolerate soy, gluten or dairy, so meat is a good option for me. That said, I only eat meat for my dinner 3 nights a week. The rest of the time, it's eggs, fish or soup. Yay budget! But I rarely if ever would include meat in a lunch, and never in a breakfast. People don't realize how often they eat full meals or full recipes that simply don't have any meat in them, and they enjoy it anyway. Pack a pepperoni stick in your purse just in case, and give it a try, as long as there are sufficient foods clearly labeled as gluten-free, dairy-free AND soy-free (all in the same dish).
Karen Bryan 6 months ago
I participated in a wedding of two dear friends some years back (I was asked to read a poem, and I felt honored to do so). They are vegetarian, and I don't thinl anybody even noticed that there wasn't meat on the menu. But then, this was an outdoor affair, very informal, food served buffet style. It was lovely. Anybody who can't be satisfied with a good vegetarian spread can stop on the way home for a burger and not make a big deal about it. This is all so silly. (This couple had their dog as ring bearer. We all loved it.)
The Other Guest 7 months ago
The whole "you'd expect a veggie option therefore you must provide us with a meat option" is based on the erroneous belief that the etiquette rule is "guest gets to decide on the menu." It's not; the rule is "a good host provides food that their guests CAN eat." Someone who eats meat, barring health conditions, can eat a vegetarian meal. A vegetarian/vegan cannot eat meat. And as Pencil (sort of) said in their comment, unless it's pointed out to them, people are unlikely to notice the lack of meat in a well-planned veggie meal.
Mark Childers 7 months ago
I'm guessing that every YTA is from the U.S. where it seems criminal to go a meal without meat. There are a ton of awesome meatless dishes that people eat every day without thinking "where's the meat?" Trying new food, anyway, is always fun. I think this couple should go for it and have their vegetarian wedding.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Are you... classifying all Americans as weak-willed carnivores who can't go a single meal without meat? There are TONS of vegetarians and vegans in the US, trust me. I live in SoCal and there are three vegan restaurants within a 10-minite drive of where I live. I actually love meat, but I also really enjoy vegetarian/vegan food as well. "Americans" as a whole aren't all idiots who can't handle going a single meal without meat.
Load More Replies... Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 7 months ago
This feels like a toothpaste cap argument: that old thing about couples arguing about who left the cap off, but it’s never about just the cap. It’s about an escalating tension over a long, running dispute. Because realistically, they could offer vegetable lasagna and pasta Primavera and nobody would blink. There are tons of good vegetable-based foods that would allow them to honor their own beliefs and not deprive their guests. Also, anyone it really bothers can simply decline the invitation. It feels more like the mom trying to control the situation or continuing to judge her daughter’s choice of being primarily vegan. Her mother seems to object to a nonconforming part of her daughter and is telling her she has to conform for others comfort. Realistically, any grown adult can decide to attend a wedding and do without meat for a few hours at best or swing through the drive-through on the way to the ceremony if need be. Wedding food is always a little bit of a crapshoot.
Emily 7 months ago
IDK, I am honestly torn on this one; the commenters saying that the OP would expect a vegetarian/vegan option to provided them aren't necessarily wrong. It's considered, by and large, a faux pas to not have at least a vegetarian option on a menu these days. I also agree that it is OPs wedding and they can do whatever they want.... just be prepared that there will ALWAYS be someone who is unhappy. It won't k**l anyone to eat veggie for an afternoon (and, in most cases, the same argument could be made for a meat lovers wedding too, just sayin), and it is not a hill that I would die on as I love vegetables and don't eat a lot of meat anyway, but, I do think politeness and consideration is a two way street. If you expect your non veggie friends to provide for you at functions then, as a courtesy, it might be nice to have a meat option as well.
BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago
Obviously you've never heard of spinach lasagna..
Load More Replies... You May Like Woman Refuses To Attend The Wedding After Bride’s Unhinged Decision, Is Expected To Fulfill Bridesmaid Duties Groom’s Vows Make Bride Walk Away In Front Of Everyone: “How Humiliating” “Don’t Touch My TV”: 44 Thanksgiving Hosts Call Out Behaviors They Can’t Stand From Their Guests
Gabija Palšytė
Gabija Palšytė
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
37
68