College Fund Wasted On Disney Trip Sparks Kid’s Quiet Rebellion, Parents Face It Years Later

Once again with YTA not seeing the point. Instead of saving the education money for retirement, they squandered it. Now they want to retire EARLY and want the son to pay for it. Not the other siblings, just him. Guy has worked hard for his life and money and is not obliged to pay for them to not work anymore out of choice. NTA. But the YTA people are.

"Dear parents, I have absorbed the lessons you carefully taught and explained to me. If you have any concerns, please do take your complaints to the policy makers. You'll find them easily accessible as they're conveniently based at your home address."

The thing is, if you're doing well enough in school to get a full scholarship and then well enough to get through an engineering program at university, you don't have time to "goof around," as his parents thought he would be doing if he didn't have a job. It takes a lot of time to be a good student, no matter how "smart" you are. And when you play favorites with your kids, you're creating conflict. This guys parents have a lot of nerve expecting anything from him.

NTA. They want him to fund an early retirement? I guarantee the grudge is not about the money. It is about being treated crappy and not being given any kudos or kindness.

The YTA trolls need to read more carefully. OPs siblings got spending money and a place to live. OP had to work a strenuous job summers, siblings did not. OP chose a lucrative career, siblings did not. Siblings chose to have kids, OP as yet has not. OP owes parents nothing, certainly not the gift of early retirement. Had you been in OPs position, you'd likely be singing a different tune.

My opinion people calling him the AH and that he didn't need the money. He DID need it so he could still live. He had his living covered and school. But, what about food regular needs like hygiene products cleaning and so own. He may not have needed for his education but he did need it to still live.

I bet at their passing the parents will leave more to the two other siblings than to OP because those have "families" and burdens.

Absolutely NTA for not wanting to give away hard earned savings for parents retirement. To me that is a bizarre and audacious request. My parents (now very separated) had polar opposite views on the meaning of equality; Mum's "all children must be given the exact same things" vs Dad's "all children should be given what they need in order to get the same opportunities." I lean more to the later; in this case that would mean the parents making sure none of the children should pay for uni. This is different from "we'll give each child $XX when they leave school". If they positioned it that way though, then it would be wrong to revoke that. In this day and age it's becoming more accepted in society through workplace accommodations etc. It's about building a level playing field - everyone has different needs. In the end, it's the outcome that matters, not the means. All three were given the opportunity to go to uni for free. It wouldn't be fair if one got more.

I WISH I could give money to my Mama. She gave me life. She loved me and raised me and taught me and held me and ALL the things. If I were set financially, she wouldn't have to worry about a damn thing.

Parents should have put the money in their retirement account, and with interest, they would have a nice chunk of change.

I can't even get my head round the idea that parents would ask their children for money in anything other than desperate circumstances. The history is just a fine detail, the OP should not be expected to subsidise their early retirement even if he had received his college fund money.

OP said that his parents are both teachers, and since I'm inferring that this story takes place in the US, that means they must belong to a teacher's union, and should have a very generous retirement plan. Retiring early--even with support from OP--would be a really bad financial decision, as it could greatly reduce their retirement benefits over the long term. But it seems like these people have a history of bad financial decisions, so clearly NTA.

Not a fan of the disparagement of teacher at the end. Not sure what that was. Teaching is taxing af. There's a reason 50% quit within the first 5 years after going through gradschool to get there. #1 reason is burnout

Do you have to be strong to be a welder? I'm a software developer, and I'm really getting to hate this field. Hardly ever get to actually design and really code anything anymore.

I mean the guy said it was an emergency that he would absolutely help his parents. That to me is key because they raised him,. Understand the parents for maybe having to keep some for things that they need to use it with but then giving him the rest of the money. I would never keep the whole money from my kid at all. Fix some stuff in the house that they didn't have the money for of course use some of that money but don't keep all of it. I would never care if I got a full scholarship and my grandparents who raised me how to use the money for their house and then gave me the rest.

Way too many social workers that don't do squat for society. As an engineer you are extremely valuable. Good on you. Keep your money

NTA! You are not legally obligated to just hand them money because THEY DIDN'T SAVE ENOUGH. If it was an emergency like their house is being repossed then yes. However, just to retire early, and only ask you and not your siblings. I agree with other posters you and your wallet are NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN. Obviously you're not the a..hole, your parents are.

I get it. I have siblings and one was always treated better or differently. I know what inequality feels like. I think OP should have received his college fund, regardless. If he got a full ride scholarship, he deserved it! He would have used that money for a different purpose. Like a down payment on a home. It sounds to me like the OP was a hard working, responsible person. His parents used money set aside for him, they now have to wait to retire. Boo hoo. OP was certainly NTA.

If HannaMashida believes that if someone has a full ride then they don't need the money then they should also believe the parents don't *NEED* to retire *EARLY* and the family didn't *NEED* a trip to Disney. If he sees the college money as a *want* because he had scholarships then Disney and early retirement are even bigger *WANTS*

Hm I disagree with most points, here. The parents saved money for their child's future. They assumed it would be college, but it could have been any number of things. The child asked if the money could be used for other expenses. My impression was that they wanted to use it for housing, and general life expenses. They worked hard so they could get a full ride. Their parents instead said ,"no it was never yours to use, unless it was for classes." I guess that's a stance you can take but to then use it on personal frivolity instead of a trust, or for that coveted early retirement... That kind of rubs salt in the wound. It would feel like the child is being punished for working hard to earn their education. Also, regardless of the reason behind OP's stance, there's no emergency here. It's OP's parents wanting to take money that was never theirs for a personal frivolity. This is wildly different from OP thinking that they were working hard for education AND going to have extra money for

Gotta be smart enough to save for retirement. That being said, they got what they gave. NTA

NTA. It is not your obligation to give them money so they can retire early. You earned your cash. Just because they're your parents and just because you don't have kids ? The people saying YTA are the kind of people who will expect their kids to do the same. Your parents may not have given you that money however it did give ou a valuable lesson on working hard and saving hard. They should have done the same. So what they were going to waste money on disneyland? They could have saved that money for their retirement. I cannot express this enough. You owe them nothing. NTA !

The question is stupid. They should have given the education fund to the son. It was saved for him. As far as retiring early, they can work until they drop.

Leaving aside the whole college fund debacle, why would the parents ask the kid to jeopardize their own savings for family, retirement, or whatever else life might bring so that the parents can retire early?

Forget the college fund. I can understand THAT. But expecting their children to pay for their EARLY retirement? And one ONE of three children at that! No no no! And what would they have done, if child no 3 went the same route as the other two? Would they expect all children to pay? Or none?

Doesn't matter of he had a full ride. The money was for his education. Parents gave money for education to siblings... now parents don't want to take money from the siblings? Parents put nothing towards posters education. Not the posters fault Parents haven't got enough to retire.

"beasxonly" What?

NTA for not giving the money nor for being upset that his parents treated him unfairly compared to siblings. To say he isn't holding a grudge though is a lie based on his wording.

Hmn, tough one. If the parents set aside the money and it wasn't needed, then a smart decision would have been to hold the money for things like medical problems or further education beyond college. It's their money and they can do whatever they want with it because they earned it. However the same applies to you - if you HAD gone on the trip, you would be the AH. Since you didn't, you haven't been hypocritical. You earned YOUR money so you can choose how to spend it. IMO it's a bit coldhearted to bring up the issue after all these years (you didn't lose out on anything since you studied hard for you, not to qualify for college scholarships) but it's your choice.

In my opinion, the parents should have saved the money for their retirement instead of going on vacation but they also renovated their home with some of the funds which means that they didn't blow off all of the money for entertainment. On another note, the son, whether they paid for his college or not and weather his siblings were not able to contribute to their parent's retirement or not, should have helped his parents IF he has the money. How about the 18 years that his parents spent their hard earned money raising him and setting him up for success. If they didn't give him the proper environment, principles and values, support not to mention paying for everything until the age of 18, this guy would have never studied well, been successful and gone to a great school on a scholarship. This claim that he was the sole contributor to his success while not acknowledging the tremendous role that his parents played is not only selfish and narrow mindedness but also petty & irresponsible

People with money, people without money, people period in general looking for others to affirm their lack of character. No A.H. your Parents are not after 18 legally responsible for you. But morally yes they are. You sound like a bitter butt hole! Mommy and Daddy didn't do what you wanted now it's payback. Go on. Pay them back you selfish little s**t. Some people grow older. Some people unfortunately never grow up. Your an overgrown little kid. Engineering Genius or no your just a miserable little brat in a big body.

This could go both ways. On the one hand, during his 18 years living with his parents, where did he develop the drive to study hard and earn the scholarship? Who taught him the value of a good education? And, putting away money for a scholarship doesn't mean the money is his. On the other hand, what are his parents expectations from him? They want to retire early so why is he obligated to help them do that; and how much do they want? Seems like with him throwing the line back at his parents, he's harboring some pretty clear resentment towards his parents with some added sibling resentment as well. Personally, the lack of love between all involved points to some deep seated issues that go beyond this one issue and one could say both sides have some a-hole tendencies. But it's also the family dynamics that have been established over a lifetime.