“Am I The [Jerk] For Not Inviting My Friend’s Husband To Dinner Because He Eats Too Much”

Also, maybe someone should mention all this to hubby. If he regularly eats 3+ plates very quickly at a host’s dinner party and was the direct and only cause of some guests only being able to have one plate, and having to order takeout to have enough food for themselves, he should have either been socially aware enough to realize he might have f****d up, or someone could have mentioned that that’s not an acceptable amount of food to eat when others haven’t gotten a chance to even have seconds or fill their bellies. Some people really lack social awareness but someone needs to call him out, that’s selfish and uncool. If he really needs that many calories, he can be responsible for the extra.

A girls night is perfectly acceptable; you don’t have to go as a couple to everything, especially if all the other people there are single. And after OP revealed her financial struggles, her “friend” turned around and told everybody rather than be understanding and apologetic. I have a big appetite myself but if I’m going to somebody’s house or out for dinner then I’ll have a snack beforehand so I don’t seem greedy / go hungry. It’s just rude to help yourself to thirds.

She called OP and asked because she knew it was his fault. She heard her friends ordering food; she saw her husband eating everything. She wanted to put OP on the spot, back pedal, agree to have husband to “prove” anyone complaining was being a petty jagoff not that her selfish jag husband RUINED friend dinner for everyone.

Also then wrong title on BP here?

Agreed

NTA. There used to be a thing called "manners" when people didn't overeat at functions! I still say she should not have told her "friend" why she wanted only a "Girls Only" event. My reasons are my reasons only; we're all adults. Her friend, on the other hand, should have been a real friend and 1. Not asked her 2. Offer to belay some of the costs, since she's aware of how much her husband eats. 3. She and El PORKO -- er, HUBBY - bring a couple of extra entrees when invited (it's manners, thoughtfulness and consideration) 4. Taken her husband to task i.e. asked him to moderate his eating when a guest and/or have him eat something before he goes out to eat at friends 5. ALL OF THE ABOVE? Damn, what kind of people are these? No matter how hungry or big an appetite you have; you are a damned HOG for eating to the extent that others do not get a decent share!

“Regroom”. No pun intended, right?

So many parents skimp on manners because they just can't be arsed to teach their kids. Leads to adults chewing like cows, no please and thank you, and being rude to others.

The drama was created by one person only: the woman who couldn't accept that her husband wasn't invited once. OP sadly found out that she had fed a bunch of freeloaders who will not chip in, since after her reasons for not inviting him were indeed found out and everyone refused to do any of the things you mentioned. So there was nothing OP could have done except letting the freeloaders have their way. I also understand that no one wanted to chip in for one single guy who has no manners and gorges himself to the point were OP has to make double portions of all foods. That means that one guy eats as much as all others together. He also lets others go hungry by gorging himself to the point that others don't get a full meal and complains when he's not allowed to do so. That's just rude. It's his responsibility to only eat his fair and reasonable share and if he knows a normal portion isn't enough, he should eat a few sandwiches before he goes. Everything else is rude and unacceptable.

Looks like she did that once and Greedy Hubby got upset, as though he thought it was an all you can eat.