Teen Asks Her “Non-Strict” Dad Hypothetical Questions, Makes The Internet Melt With His Responses
Each parent’s parenting style is unique in its own way. It depends on the person’s cultural background, the values they hold, their family dynamics, and many, many more indicators. Some prefer a more strict approach, employing the “children need to be seen, not heard” type of attitude. Others are laxer and tend to shun rules altogether.
Abby Moxon (TikTok handle @abby.spamm84) wanted to show to the internet how her dad, a father of four daughters, is handling the task. She made a list of questions involving hypothetical situations and asked him how he would react to them. See how he fared below.
This girl asked her dad a bunch of “what if” questions about parenting
Image credits: abby.spamm84
His answers helped her demonstrate his non-strict parenting style
“What would you do if I got a C or lower in a class?”
“Oh, as long as you tried your hardest, that’s fine.”
“What if I snuck out and went to a party and you found out the next morning?”
“Well, we would talk about it, but it’d be fine.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What if I cussed you out during an argument?”
“I’d tell you I don’t like the way you talked to me and I’d cuss you out myself.”
“What would you do if I got my car towed and it cost $500 to get it back?”
“You better pay that bill.”
“You won’t pay it for me?”
“I’m not paying that bill for you.”
“What if I got arrested for shoplifting?”
“Well, I’d say that was stupid.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What if I skipped class and you find out from the principal?”
“It’s school. It’s not that important.”
“What if I turned off my location?”
“Well, that’s annoying because then if you need me, I can’t help you.”
“Would you be mad?”
“I wouldn’t be mad, but I would say something to you.”
“What if I snuck a boy into the house?”
“There’s no need to sneak him in. You just gotta introduce him to me.”
“What if I threw a party when you’re gone and you find out the next morning?”
“As long as nobody got hurt and everything was intact, that’s fine.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What would you do if I was drunk driving?”
“Oh, I’d be pissed. I would be taking your license and your car away.”
“What if I came home at 2:00 AM but prior to that, I ignored all your calls and texts?”
“I’d be upset because I’d be waiting up for you, but that wouldn’t be a big deal.”
“What if I got a piercing or tattoo without you knowing?”
“That’s fine. It’s your body.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What if I called you and I’m in a whole different state?”
“I’d have questions, but I’m here to help.”
“What if I scratched your new car backing out of the driveway?”
“Well, I’d be aggravated, but it’s just a car.”
“How come you never grounded me as a child?”
“You didn’t do anything bad. It really wasn’t worth grounding.”
See the adorable exchange in its entirety here
@abby.spamm84😭😭♬ original sound – Abby moxon
After the video exploded online, the dad and daughter duo clarified a few things in a follow-up Q&A
In the follow-up video, the dad claimed that he wasn’t always so “non-strict,” he simply learned to approach things with calmness along the way. He was seeing the impact of his harsher behavior on his children and decided to adjust how he was parenting. “You can demand respect, but you don’t have to do it in such a tyrant way. You can do it just through love and affection.” For him, it’s all about self-control: “Sometimes I get excited for a minute, but I take my deep breaths and reign it in.”
When asked to list the rules of the house, he quotes curfew and phone rules that can depend on grades. Whatever they are, he says he lays them out, informs kids of the consequences, and everything else in between is there to figure out as you go. “A home is not a place for condemnation. A home is a place that when you slip up, we’re gonna let you know you slipped up. But we’re gonna talk about it, and we’re gonna help you not to slip up again, and just show you lots of love.”
He also believes that this type of approach to parenting should be normal. According to him, parents are responsible for how they react to their children misbehaving. Showing anger and condemning your child can only drive them away. This prevents parents from building a strong bond with their child, and forces children to stay away from their parents, even when they need help. His daughter seconds this by saying that his parenting style makes her trust him more and she feel comfortable approaching him about anything that’s happening in her life.
Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. (not the actual photo)
Science says that “non-strict” or authoritative parenting is the most beneficial to children
From the description given by the dad, it seems that one could categorize his parenting style as authoritative. This style presents clear guidelines of how a child should behave and what’s expected from them. If the rules are broken, there are disciplinary actions and the reasoning behind them is clearly explained. There’s also constant communication with the parent as they navigate their expectations and goals together.
This type of parenting results in confident and responsible adults that know how to self-regulate. The feeling of independence shows children that they are capable of achieving great things themselves. This makes them believe in themselves more and they end up having high self-esteem. They also tend to have good academic achievements, have better social skills, and be more capable at problem-solving.
Unlike other parenting approaches to a household’s emotional climate, an authoritative style doesn’t have any negatives in terms of a lasting impact on children. Instead, the most significant drawback here is the fact that it is the most difficult approach to parenting. It requires collaboration and work from both sides. It can be especially demanding during the already challenging development periods.
The dad in the video learned this the hard way, saying the teenage years can be quite intense. His advice is to show love and stay consistent. “Give them a little room but let them know every day that you’re there, that you love them.”
All in all, it seems that this parent-child relationship is tight, and the love and trust that everyone involved is showing are helping it blossom. And that is, indeed, quite the parenting goal.
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
People in comment section agreed that this is parenting goals
What I don't agree with is the "school isn't important" part. Although it's also true that most countries are in deaperate need of an education reform because a lot of the teaching methods and the materials are outdated. But the "school isn't important" part leads to adults who don't know their history, geography, grammar, maths, and basic knowledge.
I don’t know, as a child I was encouraged to think of school as my job or my profession, and I was told that if I worked hard, got a scholarship, and got a college degree I would be set up for a good career as an adult. None of this turned out to be true. Me and my post-graduate degrees and 4.0 GPA have only worked a series of low paying, meaningless jobs. Meanwhile I know people who were C students their entire schooling, barely scraped out of college with an art degree, and now support a wife and kids on their sole income. Every person I know who went into a trade — be it plumbing or hairdressing — is doing financially better than me right now. And they understand basic math and grammar. School is not important. Learning is. And sometimes that means learning a trade or fine art and it has jack to do with a traditional classroom.
Load More Replies...
I think his answers are very much influenced by the kind of daughter he has as well as his relationship with her. The two are doing stuff together, there's trust and they talk. So his answers are based on his knowledge that his daughter is responsible and they have a close relationship. He knows her, who she is and how she'd react. So he's relaxed. Many parents sadly have no close relationship with their own kids and judge them based on assumptions. And those are rarely fair or realistic. So this is really a result of a reciprocal process that's based on very good parenting in the early years of the kid, building a relationship based on trust and closeness with each other. He just reaps what he sowed
My parents treated me like I was 3 when I was a teenager but worse because I had more privileges as a toddler
Mine are control freaks and treated me as an inmate. So annoying.
Load More Replies...
Same. At least in my late teens. As long as they knew where I was and roughly what I was up to I was left to my own devices. If I skipped school and she found out from the principle I'd be in deep s**t....but if I told I her I was skipping school to do [thing] with [person] at [place] it was no big deal.
Load More Replies...
My daughter asked about scratching the car. I said "I would take you to a shop where we can buy the things we need to fix the scratch, We would then spend the day fixing the scratch. We would then stand back and admire the repair together" She then asked "Would you be mad?" and I replied "Why?" sha pointed out that she had scratched the car, surely she would be punished. I looked her in the eye and said, "If it can be repaired, then it is not truly broken. Doing it this way teaches you that you can come to me when something goes wrong. I will help you fix your problems and mistakes. If you do it again then it's your time you wasted, but I will help you again and finally, you would have learned to do something practical and useful that will help you in your life when I am gone"
Wholesome, but still a bad tiktok post. Please don't post tiktoks or AI stuff. (and definitely not kardashian trash!).
The authoritative approach is by far the best, and this father demonstrates aspects of it. However, authoritative parenting has nothing to do with how strict or "non-strict" a parent is but rather the parent's approach to enforcing the limits they impose. People should be careful not to slip into permissive parenting based on the perception that this father is letting his daughter make her own decisions and find her own way (not that he's doing that entirely). That's not what authoritative parenting is.
I joke that I'm a benevolent dictator with my kids. I do my best to be as kind as possible but no means no and a hard line is a hard line.
Load More Replies...
While my parents weren't "non-strict" or authoritarian, I just didn't push the limits because I was a very shy kid and just didn't do anything that would warrant my parents punishing me for anything major. My older sister was more independent than me, but she didn't do anything to warrant our parents punishing her either. We had healthy respect for our parents.
Love this! It is how a parented both my kids. My daughter had a friend, and her parents were so strict and jsut kind of mean. That girl lied more to her parents on one year, it was ridicuous. I trusted my kids, they knew if they ever broke that trust we were going to have problems.
At some stage kids have to learn to live with their decisions and deal with the consequences.
My dad is close to this level of chill but not quite. My mum is a billion miles away
I agree with most of these. Kids have to learn about self reliance and consequences. Real life consequences, not "your grounded" consequences. Too many parents shelter their kids too much for fear of them getting into trouble or getting hurt physically, mentally or emotionally. But if they don't learn how to deal with it as kids, it will be so much harder to learn as adults. And in most of these scenarios, the "damage" is already done. All u can do is help them to learn from it and move forward and most things aren't "life ending". But, also have to remember that she's been raised like this already. So she's aware of having to deal with her own consequences of her decisions. It's not like she was raised "average" and then Dad just started doing this one day
yeah i kinda expect those answers from someone who says "school is not that important".
this is how I want to be as a father in like 10+ years (when I'm old enough lmaooo)
'school isnt that important' i love him. he knows from experience as an adult, and he remembers being a teen. good job
Ikr like it’s about day 50 of me never having to use Pythagorean theorem. Like why do math teachers act like stop signs are equations you gotta figure out to follow the law 💀
Load More Replies...
I don't agree with a majority of the responses. He is too lenient and allows her 'too much' freedom for reckless decisions
Answering questions for a TikTok video is one thing. I hope his deeds speak the same language.
What I don't agree with is the "school isn't important" part. Although it's also true that most countries are in deaperate need of an education reform because a lot of the teaching methods and the materials are outdated. But the "school isn't important" part leads to adults who don't know their history, geography, grammar, maths, and basic knowledge.
I don’t know, as a child I was encouraged to think of school as my job or my profession, and I was told that if I worked hard, got a scholarship, and got a college degree I would be set up for a good career as an adult. None of this turned out to be true. Me and my post-graduate degrees and 4.0 GPA have only worked a series of low paying, meaningless jobs. Meanwhile I know people who were C students their entire schooling, barely scraped out of college with an art degree, and now support a wife and kids on their sole income. Every person I know who went into a trade — be it plumbing or hairdressing — is doing financially better than me right now. And they understand basic math and grammar. School is not important. Learning is. And sometimes that means learning a trade or fine art and it has jack to do with a traditional classroom.
Load More Replies... I think his answers are very much influenced by the kind of daughter he has as well as his relationship with her. The two are doing stuff together, there's trust and they talk. So his answers are based on his knowledge that his daughter is responsible and they have a close relationship. He knows her, who she is and how she'd react. So he's relaxed. Many parents sadly have no close relationship with their own kids and judge them based on assumptions. And those are rarely fair or realistic. So this is really a result of a reciprocal process that's based on very good parenting in the early years of the kid, building a relationship based on trust and closeness with each other. He just reaps what he sowed
My parents treated me like I was 3 when I was a teenager but worse because I had more privileges as a toddler
Mine are control freaks and treated me as an inmate. So annoying.
Load More Replies... Same. At least in my late teens. As long as they knew where I was and roughly what I was up to I was left to my own devices. If I skipped school and she found out from the principle I'd be in deep s**t....but if I told I her I was skipping school to do [thing] with [person] at [place] it was no big deal.
Load More Replies... My daughter asked about scratching the car. I said "I would take you to a shop where we can buy the things we need to fix the scratch, We would then spend the day fixing the scratch. We would then stand back and admire the repair together" She then asked "Would you be mad?" and I replied "Why?" sha pointed out that she had scratched the car, surely she would be punished. I looked her in the eye and said, "If it can be repaired, then it is not truly broken. Doing it this way teaches you that you can come to me when something goes wrong. I will help you fix your problems and mistakes. If you do it again then it's your time you wasted, but I will help you again and finally, you would have learned to do something practical and useful that will help you in your life when I am gone"
Wholesome, but still a bad tiktok post. Please don't post tiktoks or AI stuff. (and definitely not kardashian trash!).
The authoritative approach is by far the best, and this father demonstrates aspects of it. However, authoritative parenting has nothing to do with how strict or "non-strict" a parent is but rather the parent's approach to enforcing the limits they impose. People should be careful not to slip into permissive parenting based on the perception that this father is letting his daughter make her own decisions and find her own way (not that he's doing that entirely). That's not what authoritative parenting is.
I joke that I'm a benevolent dictator with my kids. I do my best to be as kind as possible but no means no and a hard line is a hard line.
Load More Replies... While my parents weren't "non-strict" or authoritarian, I just didn't push the limits because I was a very shy kid and just didn't do anything that would warrant my parents punishing me for anything major. My older sister was more independent than me, but she didn't do anything to warrant our parents punishing her either. We had healthy respect for our parents.
Love this! It is how a parented both my kids. My daughter had a friend, and her parents were so strict and jsut kind of mean. That girl lied more to her parents on one year, it was ridicuous. I trusted my kids, they knew if they ever broke that trust we were going to have problems.
At some stage kids have to learn to live with their decisions and deal with the consequences.
My dad is close to this level of chill but not quite. My mum is a billion miles away
I agree with most of these. Kids have to learn about self reliance and consequences. Real life consequences, not "your grounded" consequences. Too many parents shelter their kids too much for fear of them getting into trouble or getting hurt physically, mentally or emotionally. But if they don't learn how to deal with it as kids, it will be so much harder to learn as adults. And in most of these scenarios, the "damage" is already done. All u can do is help them to learn from it and move forward and most things aren't "life ending". But, also have to remember that she's been raised like this already. So she's aware of having to deal with her own consequences of her decisions. It's not like she was raised "average" and then Dad just started doing this one day
yeah i kinda expect those answers from someone who says "school is not that important".
this is how I want to be as a father in like 10+ years (when I'm old enough lmaooo)
'school isnt that important' i love him. he knows from experience as an adult, and he remembers being a teen. good job
Ikr like it’s about day 50 of me never having to use Pythagorean theorem. Like why do math teachers act like stop signs are equations you gotta figure out to follow the law 💀
Load More Replies... I don't agree with a majority of the responses. He is too lenient and allows her 'too much' freedom for reckless decisions
Answering questions for a TikTok video is one thing. I hope his deeds speak the same language.
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