Woman Can’t Stand Niece “Helping” Her Out In Bakery, Family Drama Ensues
Baking is a culinary discipline that requires quite a bit of… well, everything, to make it work. It requires patience, know-how, skill, and, among other things, time. And if you take away even one thing from this formula, even only to a degree, it’s gonna have devastating consequences to the results. No, that is not an exaggeration. Have you seen Gordon Ramsey’s temper? Where do you think it comes from? The culinary arts are stressful and people’s gourmet creations should not be tampered with! But they still try.
More Info: Reddit
Running a bakery seems stressful and chaotic as it is with the pastries and other confectionery needing to hit shelves in the early hours of the morning
Image credits: storebukkebruse (not the actual photo)
So, you can imagine what happens when an 11-year-old is added into the mix
Image credits: IrritatedCookie
The kid had to go, but the family was not pleased about it because it “broke her heart”, completely ignoring the possible legal ramifications, among other things
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)
A baker recently went to Reddit to rant a bit, but to also get people’s opinion on an issue she has now. The story goes that OP has a bakery, and her sister-in-law as suggested her 11-year-old daughter, OP’s niece, come over for a few hours, several times a week to help out at her bakery.
You see, the kid is really into baking. Her mom made sure her skills were honed by hooking her up with things around the house, but the next big step was to try and get her some field experience. Since OP had a bakery, that became the next big step.
Long story short, “I was hesitant, but said yes. And I hated it.” OP doesn’t specify in the story what happened in her bakery, but she elaborated on it a bit in one comment. There, she pointed out that the kid was extremely immature, constantly went underfoot, threw tantrums and entitled hissy fits, and ate enough baked goods to put a dent in OP’s profits. This was besides destroying the work environment OP spent years creating.
OP grinned and bore the kid throughout the summer time to keep the peace in the family. But peace apparently was never an option for two reasons: [1] the sister-in-law approached OP and asked if the kid could continue to come over on Saturdays; after being told no, [2] the sister-in-law got upset and then family drama happened.
Image credits: Ming-yen Hsu (not the actual photo)
This in turn led to OP sharing her story on r/AITA where folks gave a clear-cut answer. People thought that OP was in the right to not allow her niece back in her bakery for a very simple reason: this is OP’s livelihood. It’s a business, not daycare and OP is by no means obligated to keep a kid around to please family.
This is besides the fact that the niece is too young to be working at a bakery, even as an ‘intern’ of sorts. And the fact that it might affect the bakery’s hygiene status too. She wasn’t allowed to do a lot of the stuff OP would get into trouble for, but she did a lot of other stuff that irritated everyone, including getting in the way and talking “non-stop”.
In light of this, the suggestion was to appeal to SIL with laws and regulations. You can’t get upset at something that’s the law, right? Well, SIL might also be an evil, vengeful mastermind who could use that against OP who already allowed the kid in before, so maybe probably don’t do it…
Whatever the case, OP got loads of support online, garnering nearly 13,000 upvotes (with a 97% upvote rating) and a couple of Reddit awards. You can check out the post in context here.
Image credits: Magnus D (not the actual photo)
Now, the Spruce Eats has a nifty guide for teaching kids baking without the need to involve them in child labor law violations. If you consider just how much is discussed in the guide—teaching safety, preparation, encouraging involvement, setting boundaries, among many other things—this alone should give an idea how stressful it was for OP to manage her niece even without all of the tantrums.
There are, of course, other ways of engaging kids in baking: go shopping for ingredients as part of the process, equip them with their own set of tools and utensils to give them a sense of ownership, put them to work so they experience everything firsthand, and encourage their imagination along the way. Above all else, this is something the mother can do on her own accord.
Heck, even involving them in the decision-making process of figuring out what they want to eat and setting the table can go a long way. And if you include them in the cleanup in the end, you will foster a sense of responsibility, teamwork, and have fun along the way. All of this without even needing an aunt with a bakery.
So, what are your thoughts on this? Share your judgments, suggestions and opinions in the comment section below!
Folks online were all for the baker, supporting her decision to not let the kid come back because it is her livelihood we’re talking about
SIL throwing a shitfit because now she has to put up with her own daughter is what I have taken away from this after reading the part about how she behaved.
What a wonderful word "shitfit" is! I'm going to start using it too!
Load More Replies... Mother and Sister should have realised that an immature 11 year old is too young to be in a bakery. Sister should have stopped the "internship" as soon as she realised the kid wasn't being helpful and wasn't benefitting. Mother of child needs to stop being sensitive and realise her child is just that... a child, and too young to be pretending to be an employee. And someone needs to speak to the child about her behaviour (although if she was stuck in decorating, she was probably also bored), or she'll never stop. So basically, Mother needs to parent, and Sister needs to communicate.
From what the op says about sil, it's no wonder the 11 year old is immature and bratty, her mother never taught her manners or limits. 🤢
MTE. At first I thought this was just a helicopter parent getting overly offended on her kid's behalf and that the kid gave an honest effort but was, in the end, still just a kid. Then OP posted about the kid's awful behaviour. Reeeeeeeally easy to connect the dots there 😬
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Good on the OP's husband for actually standing up for her! Very often a husband buckles under pressure from his family.
Being keen on something and being good at it are 2 totally different things ( and it doesn't actually sound like she was either, she would have been more inclined to pay attention rather than create workplace chaos). Outside of being too immature to be considered safe in a work situation, your neice had no respect for your business, if she had she wouldn't have been devouring so much bakery product, tasting a broken cookie or cupcake I can see, but eating so much sellable product she's skewing sales - nope. Something tells me it was more a case of your sister considering your neice to be too immature to stay home alone and not wanting to pay for care or take her to her own work during those periods of time. She was probably bored to tears after the first day and possibly trying to sabotage herself. LoL, were there any complaints about her not eating right because of all the Goodys?
Your business. Period. If it means that much to her, she can apply at a bakery and get a job doing it or an apprenticeship.
You know what happens to a bad intern or apprentice? They get let go. Using family connections, fine. Abusing family connections, not fine.
OP should never have agreed to more than an afternoon’s shadowing. This amount of childcare was way too much.
If it is your family you can have them do stuff as young as 9. If she is immature like this, I would have told her mom that unfortunately she isn't mature enough, but when she is older she is more then welcomed. I plan to open a bakery. If my 12 wants, she can help customers up front and clean up front. She has been to work with me many times. Customers always loved her. She would sit in the dining area. One time some customers were confused about something and. My daughter answered their questions. They tough she was the cutest. My kit was 10 at the time.
Yeah I think people forget the Family exception part of businesses. It also doesn't sound like the girl was literally hired to work. Just to come observe and learn.
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This could severely damage OP's business, not only because her employees hate it, but who wants to buy cakes or bread from a bakery where you can hear a kid throwing a tantrum in the back. If I walked into a place where that happened I wouldn't trust that the kid would be following health regulations and stuff like that
I have to disagree. If I went to a bakery and a child was throwing a tantrum, I think I would have just felt bad that a parent had to bring their kid to work. I would have assumed they were financially struggling, or dealing with a lack of babysitting availability. Still, the reality is the OP was asked to do free child care for the summer, with a disobedient child. Not cool.
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That was very nice, but I don't understand why anyone would think an immature 11 year old would be a good idea to have at a bakery. First of all, labor violations galore! The mom enjoyed not having to find a sitter all Summer and was hoping to get more free time. OP kept their word and let her stay all Summer. I would not have lasted that long.
Reading between all the lines. The kid’s mom was looking for a break from the kid. This was the first unpaid daycare or activity that didn’t complain about her behavior right away because when she was dropped off or picked up there was a different type of business going on not child care.
Goodness what a mess. I’m not a parent, but I have an immature 11 year old niece. Even I know you wouldn’t want a child at a busy workplace for an entire summer. She definitely should have said No in the first place, or at least ended the arrangement when trouble first happened, which I’m guessing was the first day. SIL got free babysitting. My SIL’s did the same thing to me by shipping up my nephews for me to look after and didn’t even tell me. Still don’t understand how that happened- guess they thought it was okay to just talk to my husband and not the woman of the house who would actually do all the work and caring for them. One boy I had for several summers. One time they brought lice into my house which I had to deal with. Turns out you can see those suckers crawling around in kids’ hair very easily - no magnifying glass needed at all.
Ewwww. I hope you gave the SIL the devil for that. What about your husband? Why didn't he nip this in the bud?
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At first I was like “kids have no place in a commercial kitchen, but how bad could it have been? She’s 11!” Then I got to where OP described the child’s behavior and man! That little goblin could’ve gotten her shut down!
I feel bad for the kid, too. She wasn't allowed to really do anything except watch. That was for a good reason, but it sounds incredibly boring and maybe disappointing if she was expecting to do cool stuff like she saw in baking videos. A few hours of that on one day would be fun, but all summer? Sounds torturous for everyone. It seems like the problem might partially be caused by the adults not taking a bakery seriously as a dangerous, fast-paced work environment. Would anyone suggest an 11 year old should shadow a construction worker or auto mechanic all summer?
Exactly. These kind of work experience placements are too much for an 11 year old. I worked a term at a school as a teaching assistant with 11 year olds in their first year of secondary school, and it is remarkable how immature some of them are. They're not inclined to sit still and shut up, because they want to be doing things and making things.
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A child, key word CHILD, has no business in a commercial bakery. Tell your sister to hire a babysitter or deal with her yourself. If she got injured, you are in serious trouble. Also child labor laws apply. You could be in violation, regardless of whether you pay her. Stick with your business and for goodness sake be honest with SIL, tell her and everyone giving you a hard time the truth. Bet it shuts them up! NTA
Most areas have exceptions on child labor laws if the business is owned by a family member.
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Sis ...if they mention it again, tell them that you have no desire to discuss this with them ever again. You stand by your decision, and let them cater to the little monster. You have a business to run.
Over a summer vacation for family, you can explain that on "family". But Saturdays? That is a part-time job. Labour laws and all that won't take kindly to 11 year olds working in the food industry.
Lastly kids are not sanitary, don't practice good hygiene. They don't have that concept mastered. They should not be working in your bakery
You are a business, not a trade school. MIL/SIL should stfu
Send them both to Coventry (don't talk to either of them). It's amazing how people behave when not getting their own way. Good for you, for not budging.
You are definitely NOT the AH!!! But your IN-LAWS are. First off a family ran business children can be a part of, I see this a lot. But they are usually not paid. It’s like you are grandfathered in. It’s a grey area and you have to know the laws. However if the kid was acting entitled like her mother and grandmother, I would have banded her from the place. I just have never understood why family wether it be in-laws or immediate family think they can run and be nasty to members of the family. Just cause you own a business doesn’t mean they are entitled to be there. But I am a only child and my parents bought a bar when I was 17, legally in the state that I live you have to be 21 to bartend. But since my parents owned it I could bartend at 18, I just couldn’t bring the drinks from the bar to a table, I had to stay behind the bar.
What did the kid even do besides simply existing is that so wrong????
Lol wow no matter the situation people will always hate children why??? No matter if it's something big or small people will always blame the kid for being a kid that is still learning how the world works, why so much hate on kids
As a business owner, I get it. Something that no one prepares you for (or warns you about) when you start a business is that all of your friends and family will feel entitled to the opportunity to treat your business like a playground and will expect access no matter what that does to the business, the employees, or you. Your SIL is the a*****e here. She should NOT have told her daughter she wasn't welcome back. She should have encouraged her daughter to seek DIFFERENT opportunities and she have actively worked to make those opportunities available to her.
OP did not give any specific details of how the child was in the way, entitled, demanding, throwing tantrums to give a truly objective view. Rather than saying she was entitled, it would have been better to communicate with the SIL factually what her child did and why that particular action is not welcome. And I can’t imagine why the child ate enough product to cause a dent since no free food should have been given in the first place, instead everything she ate should be noted down and billed to the SIL (maybe at cost price) after letting SIL know this would be the expectation of any food eaten and of course tallying up the lost profits since the product wouldn’t be sold.
NTA - I would not let any of my relatives work for my business, it ruins the relationship if it does not work out. You do not owe your SIL or niece an explanation, other that being politly say NO.
"keeping her out of that area" and "didn't allow her to use that" means nothing in this case. A child has *potential* access and it is therefore a hazard.
Just another one of those situations you should always say no to when it involves family or friends. The other primaries are no lending money, no co-signing anything, no lending tools, no lending vehicles, and no sharing subscription services you pay for.
I guarantee they just wanted you to do free babysitting for the summer. There's no way they're that passionate about the 11 year old child being gone that long all day every day unless they also don't want to be around her. Parents need to grow tf up and parent
I don’t know where exactly this was but legally an 11 year old is not able to work in a business where it’s entirely possible she could be injured or injure someone else. The dept of health or even the police only need to make one visit to shut her down.
Should not have allowed at all. As a non employee, she was not covered by insurance. If she'd been hurt, I'm sure mom would have been all over you to pay for it. Even more important is labor law. Only if she had been willing to observe from the customer area would it have been legal. You took an enormous risk and endangered your employees as well, either from being hurt trying to avoid the child, or losing their jobs if the feds had shut you down, not to mention you losing your business. Your brother is a jerk not backing you up.SIL is a twit and she raised a brat.
I agree that crotch goblin should have been sent home after the first day, but no labor laws were actually broken. It's legal for her niece to work in a business that is family owned.
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You are right to prevent her from being there for several reasons. #1) Kids are immature #2) You are serving food to others you need to be able to concentrate for a quality product #3) You are not a free babysitter #4) The mother should allow her to bake at home and sell to family #5) What about child labor laws #6) The fact the adults and niece are acting like entitled, spoiled brats says a lot for everyone's immaturity. #7) The mother and grandmother should nurture her budding bakery talents, not where the public is purchasing food. Stick to your guns.
You are not the a*****e. Just remind the mother that it is illegal to have an 11 year old child working in a business.
Technically, it's not illegal as it was a family owned business.
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Child labour is on the rise in the USA. The rest of the world should push back against this trend. Let kids be kids. This poor child needs a healthy safe environment to learn and enjoy her current passion. She doesn't deserve to be put into a situation she is not mature enough to handle. If she liked shiny rocks would her mom send her to work in a diamond mine?
She might send her to visit a geologist. Look, child labor is abhorrent, but this isn't child labor. The girl is also family, which typically has different rules. The girl wasn't hired, and wasn't put to work. She was job shadowing, and wasn't even doing any work. It's basically fancy babysitting. Going to see a family member do a job is not labor.
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AYTA? Honestly, probably. But it sounds like everyone involved has some serious issues with boundaries, communication and compassion. If a kid who is 11 idolized what you do and is begging to be a part of it, then the kind thing to do would be to say yes and set out clear what she CAN and CANNOT do. SIL and niece should be fully aware of this. Then you need to be willing to correct wrong behavior and give her actual feedback. It sounds like you didn't put in the work on that end and just tried to suffer through, waiting for it all to be over. As the adult you need to do better. Her mother also needs to do better. It DOES sound like she dumped her on you/took advantage of you having a bakery for her own (and her child's) gain. Why did you let her do that? Are you avoiding conflict? Don't. You have every right, as the one extending a favor, to set the boundaries, and if SIL doesn't like the rules, then you don't have to do it. Simple as that. As for the niece- she's a kid.
I'm reading your replies to these threads and I'm coming off with the impression you are somewhat immature yourself. 'Burn my business to the ground before I let her come back's? Why don't you just tell your SIL & MIL that they can tutor your N if they feel so strongly about the situation? Did you sit your N down and explain to her what she was doing wrong / incorrectly? Did you treat her like your other employees, or just simmer in your anger? She is 11. Your SIL should never have asked you to have your N in a place of business being so young. YOU should have said NO from the beginning for that same reason. Tell MIL to butt out, tell SIL no more internship until N is in high school, and stick by your decision instead of suffering in silence.
NAH. It is reasonable to not want a child messing things up for your business. But OP didn’t say exactly how she messed it up. Being a child isn’t a screw up.
If you read through the questions, OP specifies that the niece was throwing tantrums, getting in the way, eating the products, etc.
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Yes. you fail to explain why you feel the niece made you uncomfortable when she was working for you. Therefore YTA
Yes, but only kid-friendly jobs. A bakery is not a child safe place, nor should it have to be.
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SIL throwing a shitfit because now she has to put up with her own daughter is what I have taken away from this after reading the part about how she behaved.
What a wonderful word "shitfit" is! I'm going to start using it too!
Load More Replies... Mother and Sister should have realised that an immature 11 year old is too young to be in a bakery. Sister should have stopped the "internship" as soon as she realised the kid wasn't being helpful and wasn't benefitting. Mother of child needs to stop being sensitive and realise her child is just that... a child, and too young to be pretending to be an employee. And someone needs to speak to the child about her behaviour (although if she was stuck in decorating, she was probably also bored), or she'll never stop. So basically, Mother needs to parent, and Sister needs to communicate.
From what the op says about sil, it's no wonder the 11 year old is immature and bratty, her mother never taught her manners or limits. 🤢
MTE. At first I thought this was just a helicopter parent getting overly offended on her kid's behalf and that the kid gave an honest effort but was, in the end, still just a kid. Then OP posted about the kid's awful behaviour. Reeeeeeeally easy to connect the dots there 😬
Load More Replies... Good on the OP's husband for actually standing up for her! Very often a husband buckles under pressure from his family.
Being keen on something and being good at it are 2 totally different things ( and it doesn't actually sound like she was either, she would have been more inclined to pay attention rather than create workplace chaos). Outside of being too immature to be considered safe in a work situation, your neice had no respect for your business, if she had she wouldn't have been devouring so much bakery product, tasting a broken cookie or cupcake I can see, but eating so much sellable product she's skewing sales - nope. Something tells me it was more a case of your sister considering your neice to be too immature to stay home alone and not wanting to pay for care or take her to her own work during those periods of time. She was probably bored to tears after the first day and possibly trying to sabotage herself. LoL, were there any complaints about her not eating right because of all the Goodys?
Your business. Period. If it means that much to her, she can apply at a bakery and get a job doing it or an apprenticeship.
You know what happens to a bad intern or apprentice? They get let go. Using family connections, fine. Abusing family connections, not fine.
OP should never have agreed to more than an afternoon’s shadowing. This amount of childcare was way too much.
If it is your family you can have them do stuff as young as 9. If she is immature like this, I would have told her mom that unfortunately she isn't mature enough, but when she is older she is more then welcomed. I plan to open a bakery. If my 12 wants, she can help customers up front and clean up front. She has been to work with me many times. Customers always loved her. She would sit in the dining area. One time some customers were confused about something and. My daughter answered their questions. They tough she was the cutest. My kit was 10 at the time.
Yeah I think people forget the Family exception part of businesses. It also doesn't sound like the girl was literally hired to work. Just to come observe and learn.
Load More Replies... This could severely damage OP's business, not only because her employees hate it, but who wants to buy cakes or bread from a bakery where you can hear a kid throwing a tantrum in the back. If I walked into a place where that happened I wouldn't trust that the kid would be following health regulations and stuff like that
I have to disagree. If I went to a bakery and a child was throwing a tantrum, I think I would have just felt bad that a parent had to bring their kid to work. I would have assumed they were financially struggling, or dealing with a lack of babysitting availability. Still, the reality is the OP was asked to do free child care for the summer, with a disobedient child. Not cool.
Load More Replies... That was very nice, but I don't understand why anyone would think an immature 11 year old would be a good idea to have at a bakery. First of all, labor violations galore! The mom enjoyed not having to find a sitter all Summer and was hoping to get more free time. OP kept their word and let her stay all Summer. I would not have lasted that long.
Reading between all the lines. The kid’s mom was looking for a break from the kid. This was the first unpaid daycare or activity that didn’t complain about her behavior right away because when she was dropped off or picked up there was a different type of business going on not child care.
Goodness what a mess. I’m not a parent, but I have an immature 11 year old niece. Even I know you wouldn’t want a child at a busy workplace for an entire summer. She definitely should have said No in the first place, or at least ended the arrangement when trouble first happened, which I’m guessing was the first day. SIL got free babysitting. My SIL’s did the same thing to me by shipping up my nephews for me to look after and didn’t even tell me. Still don’t understand how that happened- guess they thought it was okay to just talk to my husband and not the woman of the house who would actually do all the work and caring for them. One boy I had for several summers. One time they brought lice into my house which I had to deal with. Turns out you can see those suckers crawling around in kids’ hair very easily - no magnifying glass needed at all.
Ewwww. I hope you gave the SIL the devil for that. What about your husband? Why didn't he nip this in the bud?
Load More Replies... At first I was like “kids have no place in a commercial kitchen, but how bad could it have been? She’s 11!” Then I got to where OP described the child’s behavior and man! That little goblin could’ve gotten her shut down!
I feel bad for the kid, too. She wasn't allowed to really do anything except watch. That was for a good reason, but it sounds incredibly boring and maybe disappointing if she was expecting to do cool stuff like she saw in baking videos. A few hours of that on one day would be fun, but all summer? Sounds torturous for everyone. It seems like the problem might partially be caused by the adults not taking a bakery seriously as a dangerous, fast-paced work environment. Would anyone suggest an 11 year old should shadow a construction worker or auto mechanic all summer?
Exactly. These kind of work experience placements are too much for an 11 year old. I worked a term at a school as a teaching assistant with 11 year olds in their first year of secondary school, and it is remarkable how immature some of them are. They're not inclined to sit still and shut up, because they want to be doing things and making things.
Load More Replies... A child, key word CHILD, has no business in a commercial bakery. Tell your sister to hire a babysitter or deal with her yourself. If she got injured, you are in serious trouble. Also child labor laws apply. You could be in violation, regardless of whether you pay her. Stick with your business and for goodness sake be honest with SIL, tell her and everyone giving you a hard time the truth. Bet it shuts them up! NTA
Most areas have exceptions on child labor laws if the business is owned by a family member.
Load More Replies... Sis ...if they mention it again, tell them that you have no desire to discuss this with them ever again. You stand by your decision, and let them cater to the little monster. You have a business to run.
Over a summer vacation for family, you can explain that on "family". But Saturdays? That is a part-time job. Labour laws and all that won't take kindly to 11 year olds working in the food industry.
Lastly kids are not sanitary, don't practice good hygiene. They don't have that concept mastered. They should not be working in your bakery
You are a business, not a trade school. MIL/SIL should stfu
Send them both to Coventry (don't talk to either of them). It's amazing how people behave when not getting their own way. Good for you, for not budging.
You are definitely NOT the AH!!! But your IN-LAWS are. First off a family ran business children can be a part of, I see this a lot. But they are usually not paid. It’s like you are grandfathered in. It’s a grey area and you have to know the laws. However if the kid was acting entitled like her mother and grandmother, I would have banded her from the place. I just have never understood why family wether it be in-laws or immediate family think they can run and be nasty to members of the family. Just cause you own a business doesn’t mean they are entitled to be there. But I am a only child and my parents bought a bar when I was 17, legally in the state that I live you have to be 21 to bartend. But since my parents owned it I could bartend at 18, I just couldn’t bring the drinks from the bar to a table, I had to stay behind the bar.
What did the kid even do besides simply existing is that so wrong????
Lol wow no matter the situation people will always hate children why??? No matter if it's something big or small people will always blame the kid for being a kid that is still learning how the world works, why so much hate on kids
As a business owner, I get it. Something that no one prepares you for (or warns you about) when you start a business is that all of your friends and family will feel entitled to the opportunity to treat your business like a playground and will expect access no matter what that does to the business, the employees, or you. Your SIL is the a*****e here. She should NOT have told her daughter she wasn't welcome back. She should have encouraged her daughter to seek DIFFERENT opportunities and she have actively worked to make those opportunities available to her.
OP did not give any specific details of how the child was in the way, entitled, demanding, throwing tantrums to give a truly objective view. Rather than saying she was entitled, it would have been better to communicate with the SIL factually what her child did and why that particular action is not welcome. And I can’t imagine why the child ate enough product to cause a dent since no free food should have been given in the first place, instead everything she ate should be noted down and billed to the SIL (maybe at cost price) after letting SIL know this would be the expectation of any food eaten and of course tallying up the lost profits since the product wouldn’t be sold.
NTA - I would not let any of my relatives work for my business, it ruins the relationship if it does not work out. You do not owe your SIL or niece an explanation, other that being politly say NO.
"keeping her out of that area" and "didn't allow her to use that" means nothing in this case. A child has *potential* access and it is therefore a hazard.
Just another one of those situations you should always say no to when it involves family or friends. The other primaries are no lending money, no co-signing anything, no lending tools, no lending vehicles, and no sharing subscription services you pay for.
I guarantee they just wanted you to do free babysitting for the summer. There's no way they're that passionate about the 11 year old child being gone that long all day every day unless they also don't want to be around her. Parents need to grow tf up and parent
I don’t know where exactly this was but legally an 11 year old is not able to work in a business where it’s entirely possible she could be injured or injure someone else. The dept of health or even the police only need to make one visit to shut her down.
Should not have allowed at all. As a non employee, she was not covered by insurance. If she'd been hurt, I'm sure mom would have been all over you to pay for it. Even more important is labor law. Only if she had been willing to observe from the customer area would it have been legal. You took an enormous risk and endangered your employees as well, either from being hurt trying to avoid the child, or losing their jobs if the feds had shut you down, not to mention you losing your business. Your brother is a jerk not backing you up.SIL is a twit and she raised a brat.
I agree that crotch goblin should have been sent home after the first day, but no labor laws were actually broken. It's legal for her niece to work in a business that is family owned.
Load More Replies... You are right to prevent her from being there for several reasons. #1) Kids are immature #2) You are serving food to others you need to be able to concentrate for a quality product #3) You are not a free babysitter #4) The mother should allow her to bake at home and sell to family #5) What about child labor laws #6) The fact the adults and niece are acting like entitled, spoiled brats says a lot for everyone's immaturity. #7) The mother and grandmother should nurture her budding bakery talents, not where the public is purchasing food. Stick to your guns.
You are not the a*****e. Just remind the mother that it is illegal to have an 11 year old child working in a business.
Technically, it's not illegal as it was a family owned business.
Load More Replies... Child labour is on the rise in the USA. The rest of the world should push back against this trend. Let kids be kids. This poor child needs a healthy safe environment to learn and enjoy her current passion. She doesn't deserve to be put into a situation she is not mature enough to handle. If she liked shiny rocks would her mom send her to work in a diamond mine?
She might send her to visit a geologist. Look, child labor is abhorrent, but this isn't child labor. The girl is also family, which typically has different rules. The girl wasn't hired, and wasn't put to work. She was job shadowing, and wasn't even doing any work. It's basically fancy babysitting. Going to see a family member do a job is not labor.
Load More Replies... AYTA? Honestly, probably. But it sounds like everyone involved has some serious issues with boundaries, communication and compassion. If a kid who is 11 idolized what you do and is begging to be a part of it, then the kind thing to do would be to say yes and set out clear what she CAN and CANNOT do. SIL and niece should be fully aware of this. Then you need to be willing to correct wrong behavior and give her actual feedback. It sounds like you didn't put in the work on that end and just tried to suffer through, waiting for it all to be over. As the adult you need to do better. Her mother also needs to do better. It DOES sound like she dumped her on you/took advantage of you having a bakery for her own (and her child's) gain. Why did you let her do that? Are you avoiding conflict? Don't. You have every right, as the one extending a favor, to set the boundaries, and if SIL doesn't like the rules, then you don't have to do it. Simple as that. As for the niece- she's a kid.
I'm reading your replies to these threads and I'm coming off with the impression you are somewhat immature yourself. 'Burn my business to the ground before I let her come back's? Why don't you just tell your SIL & MIL that they can tutor your N if they feel so strongly about the situation? Did you sit your N down and explain to her what she was doing wrong / incorrectly? Did you treat her like your other employees, or just simmer in your anger? She is 11. Your SIL should never have asked you to have your N in a place of business being so young. YOU should have said NO from the beginning for that same reason. Tell MIL to butt out, tell SIL no more internship until N is in high school, and stick by your decision instead of suffering in silence.
NAH. It is reasonable to not want a child messing things up for your business. But OP didn’t say exactly how she messed it up. Being a child isn’t a screw up.
If you read through the questions, OP specifies that the niece was throwing tantrums, getting in the way, eating the products, etc.
Load More Replies... Yes. you fail to explain why you feel the niece made you uncomfortable when she was working for you. Therefore YTA
Yes, but only kid-friendly jobs. A bakery is not a child safe place, nor should it have to be.
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