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Guy Can't Fathom Pregnant Fiancée’s Logic Of Giving Baby Her Ex's Last Name, Folks Call Her Racist
Technologically, the world keeps advancing, with new discoveries made every other day. However, no matter how much humans progress, social evils like racism are still practiced without an ounce of shame. With such regressive minds, I wonder how people boast about being a “developed” species.
Speaking of racism, this Arab man soon discovered that his wife was a closeted racist, as she refused to give his last name to their baby. Much to his disgust, she wanted to use her deadbeat ex’s last name. Obviously, he said no, but then she got dramatic and threw a fit…
More info: Reddit
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Unfortunately, closeted racists exist, and they might be someone close to us, whom we least expected
Image credits: Ambreen / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster was taken aback when his pregnant fiancée said that she wanted their baby to have her ex’s last name, just like her other kids
Image credits: Kiwistocks / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Obviously, he said no, but then she accused him of trying to shove his Arab culture on their baby, despite his willingness to use her maiden name
Image credits: prostock-studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Apparently, she felt that if they gave the baby his last name, it might face discrimination, and she didn’t want that to happen
Image credits: BigONerd
The shocked poster couldn’t believe that this was coming from his partner, and he felt that he was already ruining his child’s life
Today, the original poster (OP) vents out his frustrating fight with his pregnant fiancée. She had two daughters from her first marriage, but their dad was absent, so OP looked after them. The couple was discussing names for their baby when he found out that she wanted it to have her ex’s last name. She and both her daughters had it, but the poster was visibly shocked.
Obviously, he didn’t want his baby to have some other guy’s name, but she had the nerve to call him “old-fashioned.” The poor fellow even said it could have her maiden name, but she refused to budge, calling him “insecure.” After he vented online, netizens deduced that OP’s white fiancée might not want their baby to be associated with his Arab culture.
That got him thinking, so he asked her about it. Much to his dismay, she wanted to “protect” their baby by giving it a “normal” name. He tried to reason that their baby would be mixed, and it shouldn’t be ashamed of its father’s culture. However, this just triggered her more, and she told him to stop shoving his culture down everyone’s throat, which really hurt him.
When he pointed out that he had never experienced any discrimination like this, she called him oblivious. Apparently, people stared at her and even made comments that her fiancé is not white, so she didn’t want the baby to experience this. The poster felt so horrible about all this that he started blaming himself for ruining his child’s life even before it was born.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Netizens didn’t hold back from calling OP’s wife a huge racist, as she clearly didn’t want their baby to be associated with him. According to UNESCO, there has been a rise in racism during recent years, and it has become a growing challenge for society. Moreover, race accounts for 38% of reported discrimination cases globally, followed by gender (33%) and ethnicity (20%).
Experts emphasize that experiencing racial discrimination and injustice can take a heavy emotional toll. Moreover, they elaborate that it can also trigger chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and racial trauma that erodes a person’s sense of self-worth. I can’t even begin to imagine what the poster must have felt, especially since it came from someone he loved.
Folks online also expressed their concerns about the baby. Studies show that racism can have life-long effects on learning, behavior, and both physical and mental health of children. In fact, there is overwhelming evidence that black, indigenous, and other people of color in the US have, on average, more chronic health problems and shorter lifespans than whites at all income levels.
My heart really goes out to that child and even the poster, who is caught in such a fix with zero fault of his own. Some netizens claimed their marriage wouldn’t be happy. Do you agree with their conviction? Also, if you were in the poster’s shoes, how would you handle the situation? We would love to hear your thoughts, so drop them in the comments below!
Netizens wasted no time in pointing out that the fiancée was a racist, and many people expressed their concerns about the baby
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What do you think ?
Ace 18 hours ago (edited)
I don't think it's quite s black and white (no pun intended) as most of the replies seem to think. In the first case, the fact that the mother's name was previously changed to that of her ex is largely irrelevant, and I think it's quite reasonable to discuss whether to use the father's or the mother's name for the child, or both. Nor do I think that recognition of racist attitudes around you is the same as being racist - I don't know what it's like where she lives, but anti-Arab sentiment has been rife in the last couple of decades, so her motivation may simply be as she says. Of course the child's ski colour will give a clue, but many people will see the name a long time before they actually meet the child. I'm not saying she's right, and there are other issues too, but I don't see, from what's posted, that she is necessarily racist per se.
Elladine DesIsles 16 hours ago
Strictly speaking, we don't know to what extent the fiancée holds explicitly racist views. It is very apparent, however, that she is uncomfortable confronting racism, that she is bothered by the racism of those who have commented on her partner's race, and that she would prefer to play along and contrive a way to avoid having to deal with the issue rather than embrace anti-racism. That comes from a place of privilege and it is a massive problem for someone in an interracial relationship, about to be the mother of a biracial child. The fact that she initially presented this as a matter of convenience and family unity before admitting that racism is a factor suggests that she is aware that her reasoning is not okay. Her child will face racism whatever surname is used, and her inability to engage with that reality doesn't necessarily prove that she believes racist stereotypes, actively discriminates, etc, but it does firmly place her as a willing participant in a racist system,
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Christine welsh 20 hours ago
My guy just no , my child's last name is Arabic and I'm German . I had to hyphen my last name cause my last name is known in my field. To tell you how proud I am to learn the culture and the food, the family bonds, having an Arabic last name etc. This sounds very off .........
Ace 18 hours ago (edited)
I don't think it's quite s black and white (no pun intended) as most of the replies seem to think. In the first case, the fact that the mother's name was previously changed to that of her ex is largely irrelevant, and I think it's quite reasonable to discuss whether to use the father's or the mother's name for the child, or both. Nor do I think that recognition of racist attitudes around you is the same as being racist - I don't know what it's like where she lives, but anti-Arab sentiment has been rife in the last couple of decades, so her motivation may simply be as she says. Of course the child's ski colour will give a clue, but many people will see the name a long time before they actually meet the child. I'm not saying she's right, and there are other issues too, but I don't see, from what's posted, that she is necessarily racist per se.
Elladine DesIsles 16 hours ago
Strictly speaking, we don't know to what extent the fiancée holds explicitly racist views. It is very apparent, however, that she is uncomfortable confronting racism, that she is bothered by the racism of those who have commented on her partner's race, and that she would prefer to play along and contrive a way to avoid having to deal with the issue rather than embrace anti-racism. That comes from a place of privilege and it is a massive problem for someone in an interracial relationship, about to be the mother of a biracial child. The fact that she initially presented this as a matter of convenience and family unity before admitting that racism is a factor suggests that she is aware that her reasoning is not okay. Her child will face racism whatever surname is used, and her inability to engage with that reality doesn't necessarily prove that she believes racist stereotypes, actively discriminates, etc, but it does firmly place her as a willing participant in a racist system,
Load More Replies... Christine welsh 20 hours ago
My guy just no , my child's last name is Arabic and I'm German . I had to hyphen my last name cause my last name is known in my field. To tell you how proud I am to learn the culture and the food, the family bonds, having an Arabic last name etc. This sounds very off .........
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