You’re the cinephile of your group of friends. You’ve seen every movie on those lists of the best films of all time. You’re always up to date on the latest news about the hottest celebrities. Your watchlist on IMDb is endless and you can rattle off trivia about any great film ever made. You love going to the cinema as much as you love watching the newest flick curled up in bed with a bowl of popcorn (extra butter, of course).
Congratulations! If the description fits you like a glove, you’re officially eligible for our collection of movie jokes and puns! I mean, if you weren’t such a movieholic, you wouldn’t get some of these movie-themed jokes anyway. Test your knowledge and have some fun in the process with our list of funny jokes about films!
We’ve gathered everything from cinema jokes to movie puns, celebrity jokes, and everything in between. You’ll have plenty of material to work with when you need a quick joke or pun for those days when you just can’t think of anything funny on your own.
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Life tip: watch the movie "Jaws" backwards.
It is a heartwarming story about a giant white shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange for movie night, but I said no.
I had Stranger Things to watch.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Ever hear about the movie called "Constipation"?
It never came out.
A girl is fed up with her boyfriend's unhealthy obsession with detective movies, and wants to break up with him.
Girl: "This is too much. We really should split up."
Boy: "Good idea, we can cover more ground that way."
I made a movie about farm life... But the film quality was too grainy and the plot was very corny.
I don’t get why so many people have an issue with The Kardashians show.
I like to compare it to the Lego movie with all of the plastic parts moving around.
Netflix: Do you want to watch a 10-hour movie?
Me: No way! Are you insane?
Netflix: How about I break up the movie into ten 1-hour episodes and you see them all in one sitting?
Me: I am in!
Stallone: "I’m making a movie about composers. I’m playing Vivaldi."
VanDamme: "I’ll be Mozart."
Schwarzenegger: "Stop it guys I’m not saying it."
I saw an R-rated movie with no blood, no nudity and no profanity.
It was a little overrated.
Did you hear about the Minecraft movie?
It’s a blockbuster.
I would like to appear on Celebrity Apprentice with Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I don't want to be Terminated.
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris. Turns out that idea was taken. I then had another idea for a movie where the same agent is kidnapped with his ex-wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.
I watched a movie about Stockholm Syndrome.
It captured me even though I didn't like it at first, but by the end I absolutely loved it.
What's a bee's favorite Disney movie?
"Beauty And The Bees".
How did Will Smith steal $10 from millions of people?
All he had to do was Focus.
What is the most unrealistic part of the newest James Bond movie?
A Brit with a full petrol tank.
I won't watch a Nicolas Cage movie unless it's done in 60 seconds.
Harrison Ford is getting so old his next movie is going to be called "Indiana Bones and The Battle with Osteoporosis".
What do you call a gunslinger with glasses?
Squint Eastwood.
Actually, having glasses fixing the squinting. I think you meant "in need of glasses."
Why did Katie Holmes stop pretending to be in love and divorce Tom Cruise?
Because it was Mission: Impossible.
Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
To get to the Dark Side.
What do you call it when Batman attends Church?
Christian Bale.
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?” So I took her to dinner and a movie...
Then dropped her off at her parents’ house.
Jack Black doesn't always make scary movies, but when he does it gives you Goosebumps.
What movie tells the tale of a pizza maker bitten by an arachnid?
Spi-dough Man.
A lot of people think the movie "The 5th Element" is exciting.
Personally I think it's boron.
What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?
A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.
When does a movie star celebrate her 5th wedding anniversary?
After she's been married 5 times.
What is the difference between Slumdog Millionaire and Slimeball Billionaire?
Slimeball Billionaire is a movie about Bernard Madoff.
My girlfriend watched a couple of Kevin Hart movies and now she believes she can Think Like A Man Too.
Al Pacino is to star in a new movie about a man who wins the World Knitting Championships...
Its called 'Scarf Ace'.
Matt Damon is to star in a new movie about a man who has accepted Jesus as his Savior or Redeemer.
The Bourne Again Christian.
I saw a movie where a guy tried to shoot open a lock, but the heat from the bullet actually fused the metal together so the door wouldn't budge.
Now that's what I call a shotgun welding.
The movie "Speed" didn't have a director...
Because if "Speed" had direction, it would have been called "Velocity".
I'm gonna make a movie about a man with a speech impediment during world War 2.
I'm gonna call it "Schindler's Lisp".
What do you get when you squash together a game and a disney movie?
Aladdin's Creed.
Actually, you get a kid with clown shoes wielding a key sword in a games story so complex and confusing, you still dont know what's all going on several games later.
Did you hear about the teacher who was fired for giving his students homework?
Apparently, it was called "Project X".
Why couldn't Dorothy tell the bad witch from the good witch?
Because she didn't know which witch was which.
Woody Allen is a great film maker. Do you know there is one movie that he really wished he actually have made?
"Father of the Bride".
What is a cow's favourite movie?
Moo-lan.
What did the Ghost Busters have on their hands?
Ghost blisters.
Why does Quentin Tarantino refuse to make movies with digital cinematography?
Because he's the reel deal.
Did you know that in the James Bond movies, all the action/risky scenes were performed by agent 0014?
Of course, he was, after all, his double.
I'm thinking of watching a good movie with my girlfriend.
Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
Did you hear that Clint Eastwood opened a preschool?
It's called "Go Ahead and Make My Day Care Center".
Why should you really be sure before you see a movie with Lake Bell and Owen Wilson?
Because there is No Escape.
What if LeBron James quit basketball and became an actor?
It would be a Trainwreck.
Considering another basketball star died in a Helicopter crash, I didn't find this funny.
I'm no lifeguard but your baewatch me.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you don't like Star Wars, there's something wrong with you.
New or old? Classic is great, new stuff is c**p and people are justified if they don't like it.
Why did the vampire give up acting?
Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.
Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn’t find the herbs?
It was the Land Before Thyme.
What do you get when you drop Sixteen Candles on your favorite actor?
John Bar-B-Cusack.
What was the movie "Superbad" originally about?
A heart-warming tale about Lindsay Lohan's driving record.
Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.
I stopped paying attention to movie reviews after critics raved about The Green Mile.
Great concept, but terrible execution.
The movie "Turning Red" takes place in Toronto, Canada in the year 2002.
It's a period piece.
What was the name of that Pixar movie where a non-human duo is forced to go on an adventure after the Status Quo gets threatened?
Google: "Could you be more specific?"
If Peeta were a ginger, would he be called the gingerbread man?
