Friends Beg Mom Of 3 To Get Help After She Claims Her Kids Are Not Her Greatest Accomplishment

I would be very wary of people who claim their kids are their greatest accomplishments, since their sense of self-worth is so tied-up with their kids. Kids have their own personalities, they are not an extension of their parents. What if their kid doesn't turn out the way the parents have envisioned? These people are not the right company for you. They are entitled to their opinion of course, but I'm afraid you will never see eye-to-eye with them and this will always be a bone of contention in one way or another. Maybe try to agree to disagree if it's not possible to have just a superficial contact?

I'd probably be more angry about 'Tom' jumping in and answering on my behalf, rather than about assumptions he made concerning accomplishments, especially since it he's just a neighbour, not a close friend.

My greatest accomplishment is eating an extra large pizza in 10 minutes. No kid will compare to that.

Kids are not some project that you improve, saying they're your accomplishment is like saying that they're just extension of you. It's ok to be proud of your kids, but raising them well shouldn't be your greatest accomplishment, it's your responsibility as a parent.

I've met a lot of people whose kids were their worst accomplishment.

F_cking and reeding are not "achievements", and raising kids is an obligation most take on voluntarily. An achievement is fulfilling an ambition.

I have 3 children. They are NOT my greatest accomplishments. Making them was mad easy and quite enjoyable (ok pearl clutchers go ahead and downvote) but my GREATEST achievement by far was keeping myself and them alive, fed, clothed & housed when the entire world seemed to be against us at every turn. THAT was an accomplishment.

I was so taken aback by the weird convo that I forgot about the part where they followed up and reported her to her husband for not equating children with gold star stickers. Hopefully the kids aren't too fond of each other because OP and husband need to get away from that toxic cult and find friends who want to be people and not checklists for better homes and gardens.

I had someone tell me that Marie Curie winning *two* Nobel Prizes wasn't as big an accomplishment as the fact that she had children was. Apparently nothing a woman achieves can possibly compare to a biological function that even a rat can do: give birth and raise offspring.

Do you think they just have a weird alternate universe definition of achievement? They seem to be confusing things I love with biggest achievement, which aren't even close. Maybe adoration and achievement? Toxic weirdos though, I'd avoid as much as possible, but it's their children I really feel sorry for.

Children aren't a DIY project to build an adult to your standards. I'm guessing the neighbours kids will list among their acocmplaiments later in life that they got out from under the controlling, belittling influence of their parents to find a healthy place in life.

Breeding is not some miraculous accomplishment. Reducing women to breeders and cattle is offensive. People like that have no self worth. They have accomplished nothing to be proud that doesn’t rely on outdated stereotypes and using their children as their “accomplishments”.

I love being a mom. I wanted to be a mom my whole life. The first time my mom dropped me at daycare as a toddler, I spent the time following around the people taking care of the infants and wanting to help. That never changed. I started babysitting early, volunteered at a daycare center at age 12, and worked with kids as a preschool teacher, substitute teacher, nanny, etc. I was over the moon when I had my first baby. And two more followed. I love kids, and having my own has definitely been the highlight of my life. But when people ask about my greatest accomplishment, I never think of my kids. That's a separate thing. Having kids was just something I chose to do. It's not an accomplishment. Goals that I've set for myself, worked toward and achieved--those are accomplishments. And I have a list of those that have nothing to do with my being a mom.

What people don't understand is that everyone has different strengths and resources. So for some raising good kids is a piece of cake but getting an education and being resilient is difficult and for others it is the reverse. Your greatest accomplishment is the thing that was hardest for you

NTA. First of all, just giving birth on its own doesn't achieve anything. It's hard to bear, but doesn't seem like hard to understand how to do. Second, your kids upbringing isn't finished yet, so calling it an accomplishment is out of date, to the early side, for ANY of you. Not because it wouldn't be something to be proud of if done considerably well, of course it is, but it just isn't time to call yet. You still could make it your greatest mistake, or, maybe that's worded better, it still could turn to be the greatest failing in your life, if you screw up from here on. Ok, not likely to happen, but ... the third reason I wouldn't want to call it so is that kids are persons, not just a result of your upbringing. Of course, they're that, too, but they also aren't in your complete control, and somewhat of themselves anyway. They're not trophies, but (growingly so) independent persons.

I feel that my child is my greatest accomplishment, that’s my own personal sentiment and I don’t judge anyone else about theirs. I’m male, BTW. My child is the most important thing I leave on this world when I’m gone, and I’m extremely proud of them as a human being.

NTA - anyone can give birth. Parenting is harder, but most Americans don't seem to factor that in following BIRTH. Don't delete yourself for the sake of your offspring: teach them that they are valued, respected and should be capable of living up to their own decent values.

Nearly anyone can have kids, it's not exactly hard. Very few can climb Kili, never mind all her other achievements.

Your children are the greatest accomplishments of the process of evolution, not yours. You did what you were biologically able to do. Hurra! You did not traumatize your offspring to the point of ruining their future lives. Hurra! Here's your medal. What nonsense. I guess most people have nothing noteworthy, nothing that isn't trivial to show for themselves, so they say that their children are their accomplishments. Personally, I see such people as failures, as people who never worked or strived, or accomplished anything that wasn't easy, necessary, and common.

Mom's feelings are totally valid. As long as the kids are taken care of and loved, who cares??

I logged in just to ask BP to stop with this AITA stupid stories from reddit and bring back non-political, non-ethical, non-private-people-arguments-I-don't-care-about artistic and creative stuff we sometimes years ago knew and loved. For several years now BP became everything but what it was before. I liked comics, illustrations, creative cakes and furniture, silly houses and rooms, arts, crafts... I hate political stuff here, I want to hide from it sometimes, I don't care about stupid private arguments people have, you're adults, deal with it, don't ask strangers for validation! Bring back old Bored Panda, I hate this!

What kind of boring life could have led if having children is your greatest accomplishment? Like, love your kids. That's good. But have a life.

OP sounds so full of themselves it isn't even funny. News flash: no one else gives a shite about you climbing mountains. Good for you, now get over yourself. All you had to do was say "Well actually Tom, my greatest achievement is ...x,y,z..." but, instead you hop on your high horse and act superior. Like someone else said, not everyone has written a novel (and just because you've written a novel doesn't mean it's a GOOD novel. It's not actually that hard to get published these days." So why are YOU so offended that others see their children as their greatest achievement? Because it seems this whole thing is more of a reflection on YOUR insecurities and not Tom and Jen's.

Seriously? This woman took a well-meaning compliment and turned it into an insult. Wtf is wrong with people. I doubt their reactions were as “smug” as she claims, and who could blame them if they were, given her unnecessary aggression and anger in this scenario. Does not sound like a happy person to me! While I wouldn’t define children as an “accomplishment”, they are a GIFT, the greatest one I could hope for. Some people are not so fortunate to have children. This lady should take a hard look at herself and her resentment because there is definitely bitterness there, but I have no idea why she can’t embrace both her past accomplishments and motherhood with grace and joy. Reducing motherhood to a basic “biological function” is just beyond ridiculous, it’s demeaning.