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Mom Refuses To Drive Her Gifted Daughter To College-Level School, Ignores Every Option To Make It Possible
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Mom Refuses To Drive Her Gifted Daughter To College-Level School, Ignores Every Option To Make It Possible

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On the one hand, gifted children have unique academic needs that may not be met in traditional school settings, but on the other, things like money, transportation, and complicated family dynamics can make it difficult for parents to provide their little ones with specialized education. A post on the popular ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’ subreddit has just sparked a debate about such challenges.

A mom shared that her gifted six-year-old daughter would have to attend a school two towns away to reach her potential, but the woman also added that such a long drive would simply be too much of a hassle for her. After getting into a fight with her husband about it, she turned to the internet, asking for an unbiased opinion on the matter.

This mother recognizes that her gifted 6-year-old daughter would benefit from attending a school with better resources

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

However, the nearest one is two towns away and the mom can’t find a way to drive there every day

Image credits: Edmond Dantès (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Robert Nagy (not the actual photo)

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: aitagiftedschool 

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

It’s good that the mom has identified her daughter’s giftedness, however, her refusal to do something about it sounds quite strange

“Giftedness is an innate ability to both detect and comprehend the world in complex ways that differ significantly from age-expected norms,” a leader in gifted education, Dr. Jim Delisle, said.

Common characteristics of exceptionally talented children include:

  • Ability to comprehend material several grade levels above their age peers;
  • Surprising emotional depth and sensitivity at a young age;
  • Strong sense of curiosity;
  • Enthusiastic about unique interests and topics;
  • Quirky or mature sense of humor;
  • Creative problem-solving and imaginative expression;
  • Absorbs information quickly with few repetitions needed;
  • Self-aware, socially aware, and aware of global issues.

Also, it benefits the family to identify a child’s giftedness because:

  • It makes it easier to work out the right time for the child to start childcare, preschool, or school;
  • The parents and their child’s teachers can work together on learning opportunities for the child;
  • The child might be able to avoid some of the challenges of being gifted, like boredom at home or school;
  • The parents can identify new learning opportunities in their child’s area of advanced interest or skill (for example, junior pathways or special programs for gifted young athletes or artists).

So the fact that the author of the post and her husband figured out that their daughter is gifted is really cool. Ideally, however, you’d also like to allow the child to make use of it.

Image credits: olia danilevich (not the actual photo)

Parents have a key role to play in helping their child understand what it means to learn differently from others

“People learn by converting information to knowledge. They may then elaborate, restructure or reorganize it in various ways. Giftedness is the capacity to learn in more advanced ways,” John Munro, who is a professor at the Faculty of Education and Arts at the Australian Catholic University, explained.

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“First, these students learn faster. In a given period, they learn more than their regular learning peers. They form a more elaborate and differentiated knowledge of a topic. This helps them interpret more information at a time.”

“Second, these students are more likely to draw conclusions from evidence and reasoning rather than from explicit statements. They stimulate parts of their knowledge that were not mentioned in the information presented to them and add these inferences to their understanding.”

According to Munro, if an education system is to foster creativity and innovation, teachers need to recognize and value these theories and help these students convert them into a talent. They can respond to gifted knowing and learning in its multiple forms if they know what it looks like in the classroom and have appropriate tools to identify it.

It sounds like this six-year-old’s teachers did everything they could and, after understanding that she needs more, showed the parents the direction they need to take.

But the professor also believes that parents have a key role to play in helping their child understand what it means to learn differently from one’s peers, to value their interpretations and achievements, and how they can interact socially with peers who may operate differently. And while it’s hard to judge someone when you don’t have the full picture, the post suggests that its author needs to step up.

Most people think the mom should make a bigger effort

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Some parents also shared their own similar stories

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Hey pandas, what do you think?
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mollywhuppie avatar
Molly Whuppie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see anything in that about having contacted the school to see what options exist. Sometimes those schools have buses to pick up kids who live further away, or there might be other parents in the same situation who could car pool.

teresacline avatar
Daffydillz~
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the post it says that the other school is 30 minutes away. Surely the school that her two daughters already attend aren't crazy far away. The travel to and from the school is just not that big of an issue compared to the opportunities that it will provide for her daughter. This mother's behavior is just lazy and disgusting. I'm seriously disturbed by how easily she can just push aside the needs of her child.

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rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a SAHM, Your actual job is taking care of your kids and it is inconvenient for you? I was "gifted" and they put me in first grade the first week of school. We moved to another city by second grade. In third grade, the wanted me in a program that would basically allow me to skip grades and graduate by 14. My mom refused because she wanted me to be around kids my age (spoiler alert: that never happened anyway. I could not relate at all and I remained a social outsider). School bored me. Then, when I was 14, she died. I had teachers with connections to top universities, but after my mom died, I stopped caring. I went to school maybe three days a week. My teachers were fine with it - all my work was done and I placed in the top 1% in state and national assessments. They weren't going to fail me for attendance. My senior year I quit with three months to go, got my GED and started working. If you don't give kids what they need, that is abuse. I hate that I still resent my mom... she tried

demanion61 avatar
No One
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned early that I could do my schoolwork in less than half the time of my classmates. By high-school, I rarely attended, but like you, scored in the 1st percentile. I would have done so much better in a school for gifted students. This woman is the AH. She has the time and resources, but is lazy. Her daughter will pay the price.

Load More Replies...
michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This person is not a Stay At Home Mom. To be a SAHM, you have to be a mother. This individual just happened to give birth on several occasions.

tanja73 avatar
penguin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but she *is* a SAHM, ergo she can't drive her daughter 2 hours in the car, that's not *staying at home* /s

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mollywhuppie avatar
Molly Whuppie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see anything in that about having contacted the school to see what options exist. Sometimes those schools have buses to pick up kids who live further away, or there might be other parents in the same situation who could car pool.

teresacline avatar
Daffydillz~
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the post it says that the other school is 30 minutes away. Surely the school that her two daughters already attend aren't crazy far away. The travel to and from the school is just not that big of an issue compared to the opportunities that it will provide for her daughter. This mother's behavior is just lazy and disgusting. I'm seriously disturbed by how easily she can just push aside the needs of her child.

Load More Replies...
rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a SAHM, Your actual job is taking care of your kids and it is inconvenient for you? I was "gifted" and they put me in first grade the first week of school. We moved to another city by second grade. In third grade, the wanted me in a program that would basically allow me to skip grades and graduate by 14. My mom refused because she wanted me to be around kids my age (spoiler alert: that never happened anyway. I could not relate at all and I remained a social outsider). School bored me. Then, when I was 14, she died. I had teachers with connections to top universities, but after my mom died, I stopped caring. I went to school maybe three days a week. My teachers were fine with it - all my work was done and I placed in the top 1% in state and national assessments. They weren't going to fail me for attendance. My senior year I quit with three months to go, got my GED and started working. If you don't give kids what they need, that is abuse. I hate that I still resent my mom... she tried

demanion61 avatar
No One
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned early that I could do my schoolwork in less than half the time of my classmates. By high-school, I rarely attended, but like you, scored in the 1st percentile. I would have done so much better in a school for gifted students. This woman is the AH. She has the time and resources, but is lazy. Her daughter will pay the price.

Load More Replies...
michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This person is not a Stay At Home Mom. To be a SAHM, you have to be a mother. This individual just happened to give birth on several occasions.

tanja73 avatar
penguin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but she *is* a SAHM, ergo she can't drive her daughter 2 hours in the car, that's not *staying at home* /s

Load More Replies...
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