Woman Shares The Important Reasons Why She Keeps Her Daughter On A Leash In Supermarkets
Interview
There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and every mom and dad decides to do things a little bit differently. As long as their children are loved, looked after and provided for, there are a million different parenting paths to take.
But that doesn’t keep people online from having a say in what moms and dads should (or shouldn’t be) doing, and one of the latest controversial parenting choices seems to be attaching leashes to little ones in public. Below, you’ll find a few videos from TikToker AlexisHealth explaining why she chooses to use a leash with her daughter, as well as an interview between Alexis and Bored Panda.
More info: TikTok
This mother is attempting to break the stigma associated with leashes for children by showing how she uses one to protect her daughter
Image credits: alexishealth
Image credits: alexishealth
“I’m okay looking like a crazy mom. As long as my babies are safe.”
Image credits: alexishealth
Image credits: alexishealth
Alexis later posted another video responding to some of the criticism she received
Image credits: alexishealth
She explained that leashes can be a lifesaver for children who are prone to running away
“I used to work with children on the spectrum. I don’t share this about myself very often, but I was an ABA therapist.
Something that’s common with children who have autism is they do tend to elope. If you’re not familiar with what elopement is, that’s when a child tends to wander off or run away from the parent or the environment. Now, this can be very traumatic for both the child and the parent. I know that if I had this device when I was working with families, this would have made life so much safer.”
Image credits: alexishealth
“Not everybody’s situation is the same”
“So if you’re one of those people that think “I would never”, please take a moment. Not everybody’s situation is the same.
It might not work for you. But it works for a lot of people, myself included. Now, I want to thank everybody who is super supportive in the comments. I was using it today and I thought of you guys. If this isn’t for you and your family – that’s fine. However, I strongly urge you to take a moment before judging others.”
Image credits: alexishealth
Alexis later shared frightening footage of children being kidnapped, noting that leashes can help prevent these horrific situations
Image credits: alexishealth
“A toddler snatched right out of a shopping cart while her mother’s back was turned. The two-year-old was held at knifepoint.”
Image credits: alexishealth
“A grandmother is walking with three toddlers. A stranger covering himself with a blanket, without warning, snatches the youngest child, a three-year-old girl. The stunned grandmother chases after him, leaving twins brothers bewildered and alone.”
Image credits: catchupnews
“A small child was kidnapped from a shopping cart while the mother was turned away. A supermarket employee who was passing by took the baby out of the cart and walked on. When the mother turned back, the child was gone. Fortunately, she managed to see the employee and quickly got the baby back. The employee himself said that the baby’s hands were up, so he picked her up.”
You can watch Alexis’ first video showing the leash that she uses right here
@alexishealth Replying to @bkoji445 I’m tired of the world being this way but I’m NEVER tired of protecting my girls. I’m okay looking like a crazy mom. As long as my babies are safe 🥰 and thanks to everyone I freaking love this thing❤️#momsoftiktok #dadoftiktok #protectyourchildren #protectyourkids #awareness #alexishealth #beawareofyoursurroundings #shoppingwithme ♬ original sound – Alexis
And you can hear her explanation defending this choice below
@alexishealth Replying to @destinyleigh7 Everyone is going to do things differently and that’s okay 💖 #shoppingwithkids #awareness #momsoftiktok #dadsoftiktok #alexishealth #noshame #walkingwithkids #beawareofyoursurroundings #shopwithme #autism #abatherapist #amazon ♬ original sound – Alexis
Leashes for children have long been a controversial topic, as some see them as a method of equating our kids to dogs or as a way to physically restrain our little ones. Depending on the type of leash, they can be dangerous if a child is yanked backwards and forced to fall, and there’s always a possibility that they can become a choking hazard or negatively impact a child’s self-esteem. They are certainly not for everyone, so if the idea of attaching a leash to your child is unappealing to you, that’s understandable. But all parents like Alexis want others to understand is why exactly they choose to utilize these devices.
We reached out to Alexis via email to hear more about this topic, and she was kind enough to have a conversation with us. First, we wanted to know where this idea for a leash for her child came from. “I originally had heard about leashed ‘backpacks’ through my mom, she used these for my little sisters when I was a teenager,” Alexis told Bored Panda. “When I became a mother with my oldest (now 6), I purchased one. It wasn’t until a few a weeks ago that I heard of wrist leashes, also called anti lost wrist link. I posted a video of me grabbing my daughter’s arm while shopping, and it went viral. From there, I had thousands of comments telling about a wrist leash. I’ve been using it for a few weeks now, and I absolutely love it! It gives a sense of security going out, especially with all the abductions happening around the world.”
We were also curious what Alexis’ kids think about the wrist leashes. “My youngest is still too young to express vocally how she feels, however, I don’t think she minds it. In fact, every time I pull it out of my purse, she puts her wrist out,” she shared. “She also likes playing with it while shopping. My oldest doesn’t mind it at all.” Alexis also noted that they don’t use the wrist leashes all the time, just when they’re shopping or going for a walk.
Alexis also expanded on how helpful these leashes can be for parents of children with ASD. “I know from personal experience that children on the spectrum elope,” she told Bored Panda. “It’s very scary and dangerous, especially when in public. I had one boy in particular who was very tall and strong. We physically would have try and grab him from going into the street. This wrist leash would allow children on the spectrum to roam around without having to be physically touched.”
Alexis went on to note why these leashes are so important to her personally. “I was sexually abused at 8 years old, which forced me to grow up very quickly and become aware of the dangers all around me,” she shared. “I’m constantly learning and evolving, so my question for the people who choose to judge is: if this device could potentially save a child from being trafficked and abused, why does this upset you? Unfortunately, I had a lot comments saying to watch my child and this wouldn’t happen. But the harsh truth is you could be holding your baby, staring them straight in the face, and someone can still come and try to take them.”
According to the Child Crime Prevention & Safety Center, a child goes missing or is abducted every 40 seconds in the United States. “Approximately, 840,000 people are reported missing each year, and the F.B.I. estimates that between 85 and 90 percent of these are children,” the CCP&SC writes on their site. So it’s only natural for parents to be cautious when taking their children out in public. No one ever wants to imagine the worst case scenario, of their child being taken away from them, but unfortunately, it does happen. So while leashes may not be the only way to keep our kids safe, they may not deserve as much judgment as they often get.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Have you ever, or would you ever, use a leash with your own children? Feel free to share your personal experiences, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing whether or not leashes are appropriate for kids, look no further than right here.
Many viewers assured Alexis that she is right to protect her daughter, reiterating that it’s better to be safe than sorry
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For those not familiar with the British case, Jamie was a 2 year old boy who was led from a shopping centre by two 11 year old boys. They tortured and beat him before leaving his body on railway tracks where it was cut in half by a train.
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Baby reins are quite literally a lifesaver, especially if the kid's prone to refusing to hold hands and making a dash for whatever shiny object he sees, even if it's on the opposite side of a busy road. Mine avoided a fair few squishy moments by encountering the limits of the rope.
okay first off, it's not a leash if it's just attached to a wrist. secondly seriously? you are tethering yourself to your kid to protect her from being held at knife point or kidnapped? yeah. those things have happened sure, but how many hundreds of millions of kids are there that is doesn't happen to? you'd be better of saying the reason for the tether, is to keep the kid from wandering off, something far more statistically reasonable to protect her from..of course with the kid being stuck in a shopping cart perhaps you could use the prevention of and injury from a kid standing up and tipping the cart over reason. but neither of those have the fear mongering fetish feeding attributes that kidnapping and torture do so..........
I get over the hype on this too, my sister won’t even let her older twins walk to school (which is a couple of houses down, like a 2 minute walk& with other kids), and they just started high school, middle child is 8 and isn’t alowed outside or to touch the front door alone, only the back door. I love them all but the lack a lot of confidence and social skill because of it
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30 Years ago in NZ, child leashes were not a thing, and my little sister, age 4, would do a runner. She was very cute, and strangers would give her treats, and attention, so that reinforced her behaviour. Anyone could have walked off with her by smiling at her and offering her an icecream. My parents really struggled to break her of the behaviour. It became a rule that someone had to be physically holding on to her at all times when we were out. A parent or older sibling had to be holding her by the arm or the back of her shirt at all times, and absolutely no one was pleased about it.
Here's a fun one: google 'regency era children leash', or 'leading strings'. People have been doing this for longer than you think.
It's a tool just like a safety gate and playpen. Toddlers can move fast as lightning when they want.
30 yrs ago I was shamed for using one when we were out. I never worried about losing him in a crowd. We often held hands, but think about holding your arm up for hrs. The other day I saw a mom crossing the street with a stroller (infants) and a toddler, The mom was distracted with the stroller, and the child found something in the grass. Mom was almost across the street before the kid realized she left, and was running to catch up. This could have ended badly, if she used a leash, no distractions could have harmed the little one.
Our oldest was a runner. So we got her a teddy bear backpack with an attachment. Living in NYC, it kept her from getting run over by a car as a toddler.
I understand this, so does my mom. My mom thought this was bad until she lost me at a huge international airport and she was by herself with a 3 year old who loved to wander. So now she understand this.
Long ago when my kids were very small I was leaving a mall food court into the parking lot when I noticed I had an extra child with me. A little boy about three came out with us. I walked back in the food court with him and my sons and took him back to his parents and told them what happened but they didn’t seem to care.
You ruined their plan for a lucky escape... /jk
Load More Replies... I'm weirded out that she edited herself into a digital kidnapping collage
We had reins in the 60's and 70's in the UK, I have no idea why they went out of fashion but they really shouldn't have
People in the US used them back then too, and of course there were those who criticized them for it. But you know, it only took their kids running off ONCE to make believers out of them.
Load More Replies...
Baby reins, leashes, halters, bands - whatever you want to call them - are a great idea. Parents can be protective while the kiddies feel free and independent, able to navigate the world on their own two legs - just not run off after the candy wrapper being blown down the subway platform. It's a win/win deal! :)
If the reason is the possibility of abduction or being held at knifepoint ... well, this isn't everyday risk here. Not even every10year risk. Kindergardens here do excursions, to the zoo or even waste sorting factories. We have kindegardens in the forests. Now I am imagining the teachers with a bundle of leashes in each hand ... no, not happening. Even the 3 year olds are not bolting and getting lost in the forest, or lost, abducted or harmed at any other place. If parents feel better using them ... okay. Just one question: The kids are so used to being held back, so they know they can do it at any time and nothing will happen. When is the moment the parents decide the leash is not necessary any more and the bolting kid cannot trust anymore to be automatically being held back? To them it must feel like a parachutist whose parachute is failing to open.
I wish more people would use leashes - I have seriously injured myself as a manual wheelchair user in order to avoid injuring people's escapee toddlers. (My city is hilly, so momentum is a *thing* that you can't always keep as low as you'd like.)
I used a leash on my niece until she was old enough to figure out how to undo it on her end. By that time, she knew very well not to wander off, and thankfully, she was one of those kids who liked riding in the cart past the "usual" age, because she was tall but very slim, so there was no discomfort. Anyone who bitches about doing something like this either doesn't/didn't have small children, or they're not very good parents.
Anyone who shames her needs to sit down and think of all the kids that were taken within just a few feet of their parents. It happens just that fast. And besides that, it's not our business to judge how another person parents. If it means keeping your kids safe, using a "leash" is the least of our worries.
My 9yo was a bolter. He had a wee backpack with an attachment for a tether. We used it until he was 4 and didn't just take off. My 6yo wasn't a runner. We didn't require one with him unless we were in severely crowded areas where it was too easy to be separated or lose sight of him. My parents told me this type of contraption was around when I was wee too. I'm 51 now.
Just like with any small animal - harnesses are the best - don't attach leashes to hands or necks! As for the reason? The fear that a stranger will snatch your kid is pretty overblown, and that's not the main reason that leashes are good. Toddlers have no self control and no sense of self-preservation. The chance that somebody will snatch your child is tiny. However, the chance that your toddler will bolt out into the street, or sneak away to somewhere else that is dangerous, is very high. But this is 'Murica, where strangers are scary, but cars are not.
Child leashes are nothing new; there's a painting from the 18th century showing the future Louis XV of France wearing one as a child. Personally, I'm all for them: the kid has freedom and safety at the same time; they don't have to walk with their hand held above their head in order to "hold mommy's hand darling!" (seriously, walk around like that for a while & see how uncomfortable it gets). No kid tugging on daddy's arm or vice versa. No running out in front of a car. A leash is a much better option than an ambulance ride.
My mom tried this with my brother and he wrapped her around a pole in the supermarket lol she gave the leash up after that.
People need to quit expressing every damned thought that pops into their heads. It’s no one’s business what she does with her kid (or anything else). I am sooo tired of reading about people getting up in arms over things that don’t concern them. If someone were n danger, that’s one thing, but this kid is the opposite of “in danger.” Why did it become de rigeur to express every thought in one’s head? It’s inappropriate, and certainly no one’s business.
It always amazes me that the people who scream about keeping dogs on leashes to keep them safe are also the ones screaming against kids wearing harnesses to keep them safe. Parents cannot always have their eyes on their children. It's an impossibility. Therefore, if one has a child who tends to bolt and run away from you, then wearing a harness is a great idea. I had 3 kids 4 and under, and they wore a leather chest harness with a looped strap attached to the sides at the waistline. They could bolt, but they'd be brought to an abrupt halt (without strangling or falling over). There are way too many people prepared to criticize parents for doing what they need to do to keep their children safe. These jerk people would be the same ones who would scream "never take your eyes off your children!" if one did bolt and get hurt. Again - it is a physical impossibility to keep your eyes on your children every second! Also, the clips at the waist of the harness also clipped to the loops in the pushchair and the pram (this is in the UK), so they couldn't climb out, nor could anyone grab them and run without you noticing them first.
I suggested this to a friend with an extremely fast (and strong!) little neurodivergent bolter but they think it’s wrong. I’d rather have the kid with us on a leash than not have them with us at all, BUT it’s up to the parents to decide what they are or aren’t comfortable with.
Americans: "Protect your kids from dangerous kidnappers everywhere!!!" Also Americans: "Not like that :/"
I used to think this but now when I see kids bolting away from their parents, especially near traffic I think leashes are valid to keep kids safe. I've Had some close calls with kids running out between parked cars, the only reason I haven't hit them is because I've seen an adult with a terrified expression behind them, kids are too small to see in these situations and there really have been some tragic deaths even in driveways. Also,losing sight of your child In a shopping centre or public space is terrifying.
Load More Replies...
For those not familiar with the British case, Jamie was a 2 year old boy who was led from a shopping centre by two 11 year old boys. They tortured and beat him before leaving his body on railway tracks where it was cut in half by a train.
Load More Replies... Baby reins are quite literally a lifesaver, especially if the kid's prone to refusing to hold hands and making a dash for whatever shiny object he sees, even if it's on the opposite side of a busy road. Mine avoided a fair few squishy moments by encountering the limits of the rope.
okay first off, it's not a leash if it's just attached to a wrist. secondly seriously? you are tethering yourself to your kid to protect her from being held at knife point or kidnapped? yeah. those things have happened sure, but how many hundreds of millions of kids are there that is doesn't happen to? you'd be better of saying the reason for the tether, is to keep the kid from wandering off, something far more statistically reasonable to protect her from..of course with the kid being stuck in a shopping cart perhaps you could use the prevention of and injury from a kid standing up and tipping the cart over reason. but neither of those have the fear mongering fetish feeding attributes that kidnapping and torture do so..........
I get over the hype on this too, my sister won’t even let her older twins walk to school (which is a couple of houses down, like a 2 minute walk& with other kids), and they just started high school, middle child is 8 and isn’t alowed outside or to touch the front door alone, only the back door. I love them all but the lack a lot of confidence and social skill because of it
Load More Replies... 30 Years ago in NZ, child leashes were not a thing, and my little sister, age 4, would do a runner. She was very cute, and strangers would give her treats, and attention, so that reinforced her behaviour. Anyone could have walked off with her by smiling at her and offering her an icecream. My parents really struggled to break her of the behaviour. It became a rule that someone had to be physically holding on to her at all times when we were out. A parent or older sibling had to be holding her by the arm or the back of her shirt at all times, and absolutely no one was pleased about it.
Here's a fun one: google 'regency era children leash', or 'leading strings'. People have been doing this for longer than you think.
It's a tool just like a safety gate and playpen. Toddlers can move fast as lightning when they want.
30 yrs ago I was shamed for using one when we were out. I never worried about losing him in a crowd. We often held hands, but think about holding your arm up for hrs. The other day I saw a mom crossing the street with a stroller (infants) and a toddler, The mom was distracted with the stroller, and the child found something in the grass. Mom was almost across the street before the kid realized she left, and was running to catch up. This could have ended badly, if she used a leash, no distractions could have harmed the little one.
Our oldest was a runner. So we got her a teddy bear backpack with an attachment. Living in NYC, it kept her from getting run over by a car as a toddler.
I understand this, so does my mom. My mom thought this was bad until she lost me at a huge international airport and she was by herself with a 3 year old who loved to wander. So now she understand this.
Long ago when my kids were very small I was leaving a mall food court into the parking lot when I noticed I had an extra child with me. A little boy about three came out with us. I walked back in the food court with him and my sons and took him back to his parents and told them what happened but they didn’t seem to care.
You ruined their plan for a lucky escape... /jk
Load More Replies... I'm weirded out that she edited herself into a digital kidnapping collage
We had reins in the 60's and 70's in the UK, I have no idea why they went out of fashion but they really shouldn't have
People in the US used them back then too, and of course there were those who criticized them for it. But you know, it only took their kids running off ONCE to make believers out of them.
Load More Replies... Baby reins, leashes, halters, bands - whatever you want to call them - are a great idea. Parents can be protective while the kiddies feel free and independent, able to navigate the world on their own two legs - just not run off after the candy wrapper being blown down the subway platform. It's a win/win deal! :)
If the reason is the possibility of abduction or being held at knifepoint ... well, this isn't everyday risk here. Not even every10year risk. Kindergardens here do excursions, to the zoo or even waste sorting factories. We have kindegardens in the forests. Now I am imagining the teachers with a bundle of leashes in each hand ... no, not happening. Even the 3 year olds are not bolting and getting lost in the forest, or lost, abducted or harmed at any other place. If parents feel better using them ... okay. Just one question: The kids are so used to being held back, so they know they can do it at any time and nothing will happen. When is the moment the parents decide the leash is not necessary any more and the bolting kid cannot trust anymore to be automatically being held back? To them it must feel like a parachutist whose parachute is failing to open.
I wish more people would use leashes - I have seriously injured myself as a manual wheelchair user in order to avoid injuring people's escapee toddlers. (My city is hilly, so momentum is a *thing* that you can't always keep as low as you'd like.)
I used a leash on my niece until she was old enough to figure out how to undo it on her end. By that time, she knew very well not to wander off, and thankfully, she was one of those kids who liked riding in the cart past the "usual" age, because she was tall but very slim, so there was no discomfort. Anyone who bitches about doing something like this either doesn't/didn't have small children, or they're not very good parents.
Anyone who shames her needs to sit down and think of all the kids that were taken within just a few feet of their parents. It happens just that fast. And besides that, it's not our business to judge how another person parents. If it means keeping your kids safe, using a "leash" is the least of our worries.
My 9yo was a bolter. He had a wee backpack with an attachment for a tether. We used it until he was 4 and didn't just take off. My 6yo wasn't a runner. We didn't require one with him unless we were in severely crowded areas where it was too easy to be separated or lose sight of him. My parents told me this type of contraption was around when I was wee too. I'm 51 now.
Just like with any small animal - harnesses are the best - don't attach leashes to hands or necks! As for the reason? The fear that a stranger will snatch your kid is pretty overblown, and that's not the main reason that leashes are good. Toddlers have no self control and no sense of self-preservation. The chance that somebody will snatch your child is tiny. However, the chance that your toddler will bolt out into the street, or sneak away to somewhere else that is dangerous, is very high. But this is 'Murica, where strangers are scary, but cars are not.
Child leashes are nothing new; there's a painting from the 18th century showing the future Louis XV of France wearing one as a child. Personally, I'm all for them: the kid has freedom and safety at the same time; they don't have to walk with their hand held above their head in order to "hold mommy's hand darling!" (seriously, walk around like that for a while & see how uncomfortable it gets). No kid tugging on daddy's arm or vice versa. No running out in front of a car. A leash is a much better option than an ambulance ride.
My mom tried this with my brother and he wrapped her around a pole in the supermarket lol she gave the leash up after that.
People need to quit expressing every damned thought that pops into their heads. It’s no one’s business what she does with her kid (or anything else). I am sooo tired of reading about people getting up in arms over things that don’t concern them. If someone were n danger, that’s one thing, but this kid is the opposite of “in danger.” Why did it become de rigeur to express every thought in one’s head? It’s inappropriate, and certainly no one’s business.
It always amazes me that the people who scream about keeping dogs on leashes to keep them safe are also the ones screaming against kids wearing harnesses to keep them safe. Parents cannot always have their eyes on their children. It's an impossibility. Therefore, if one has a child who tends to bolt and run away from you, then wearing a harness is a great idea. I had 3 kids 4 and under, and they wore a leather chest harness with a looped strap attached to the sides at the waistline. They could bolt, but they'd be brought to an abrupt halt (without strangling or falling over). There are way too many people prepared to criticize parents for doing what they need to do to keep their children safe. These jerk people would be the same ones who would scream "never take your eyes off your children!" if one did bolt and get hurt. Again - it is a physical impossibility to keep your eyes on your children every second! Also, the clips at the waist of the harness also clipped to the loops in the pushchair and the pram (this is in the UK), so they couldn't climb out, nor could anyone grab them and run without you noticing them first.
I suggested this to a friend with an extremely fast (and strong!) little neurodivergent bolter but they think it’s wrong. I’d rather have the kid with us on a leash than not have them with us at all, BUT it’s up to the parents to decide what they are or aren’t comfortable with.
Americans: "Protect your kids from dangerous kidnappers everywhere!!!" Also Americans: "Not like that :/"
I used to think this but now when I see kids bolting away from their parents, especially near traffic I think leashes are valid to keep kids safe. I've Had some close calls with kids running out between parked cars, the only reason I haven't hit them is because I've seen an adult with a terrified expression behind them, kids are too small to see in these situations and there really have been some tragic deaths even in driveways. Also,losing sight of your child In a shopping centre or public space is terrifying.
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