It’s no secret that little things can stir up some serious issues in our extended families. Especially if it’s something that involves kids and decisions made against their parents.
“One tiny thing that came about when I had a daughter was ear piercing,” wrote one woman on r/AITA who added she was not comfortable with the idea from the beginning. Moreover, there have been some “cultural difference issues in the past” with her husband’s family.
Turns out, the woman’s mother-in-law decided to pierce their daughter’s ears, saying it’s something “she has done for all the babies in the family and it was tradition.” The author of the post said that it was a turning point from which she decided not to have her “mother-in-law alone with the kids.”
Wondering if it was the right decision, the author has gone on Reddit to ask for advice on this whole situation.
After her mother-in-law decided to pierce her granddaughter’s ears behind her back, this mom decided she won’t allow the MIL alone with the kids
Image credits: Andrew Bardwell (not the actual photo)
So she shared the incident on r/AITA asking if it’s the right decision
Image credits: PatientEase
And this is what people had to comment on the whole situation
Any "traditions" that involve the mutilation of children (or any person who cannot give informed consent) should be completely excised from the world. I don't just mean this kind of thing, but female and male circumcision, other genital mutilation, tattoos, and any other vile mutilation in the name of "culture" or "religious tradition".
I'm so with you here. I feel like this is a mutilation. For reference, I am American, and not from any culture that finds this acceptable. And I do have pierced ears. And I wanted them so badly when I was a kid, but my father, who never put his foot down on anything, put his foot down on that. Which is odd, it's not like one set of pierced ears were some fashion rage. I walked out the door on my 18th birthday and thumbed my nose at him. Literally. But he did have the last laugh when I developed a nickel allergy. All that being said, it's not that I'm against them, but I am against babies getting them, when they have no ability to even give an opinion. Even if a child is, say, 5. They at least can understand that there will be some pain, and do they like them at that age. My stepdaughter got hers pierced at 3, and remembers it to this day (she's 30). She said she had nightmares for years. But her mother wanted a little doll to dress up. And the hell with cultural norms.
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File a report for child abuse against the MIL. I would do that to my own mother if she would have the gall to pierce my children's ears while she knew my wife wouldn't have it. Actions do have consequences and I don't care what my relationship to you is, hurt my children or my wife's feelings and your mine.
I'm with you. I think this is so beyond the pale. But I'm afraid it sounds like hubby wouldn't go along.
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I am 100% with the person who asked "but what about YOUR traditions?". Having it all one way, where there are still two separate influences is not good for a successful relationship and raising of children. If OP hasn't fully embraced and bought into her husband's culture she still has her OWN to consider and that is being overridden and obliterated in the rudest way possible.
Although it does sound like they've talked all this through as mature and equal adults and come to decisions together about this - we can see that they have decided together to honour some traditions and to leave other traditions that they as a couple are unhappy with. AND the husband backs his wife in the things she feel strongly about. Sounds like a pretty good relationship to me.
Load More Replies... Any "traditions" that involve the mutilation of children (or any person who cannot give informed consent) should be completely excised from the world. I don't just mean this kind of thing, but female and male circumcision, other genital mutilation, tattoos, and any other vile mutilation in the name of "culture" or "religious tradition".
I'm so with you here. I feel like this is a mutilation. For reference, I am American, and not from any culture that finds this acceptable. And I do have pierced ears. And I wanted them so badly when I was a kid, but my father, who never put his foot down on anything, put his foot down on that. Which is odd, it's not like one set of pierced ears were some fashion rage. I walked out the door on my 18th birthday and thumbed my nose at him. Literally. But he did have the last laugh when I developed a nickel allergy. All that being said, it's not that I'm against them, but I am against babies getting them, when they have no ability to even give an opinion. Even if a child is, say, 5. They at least can understand that there will be some pain, and do they like them at that age. My stepdaughter got hers pierced at 3, and remembers it to this day (she's 30). She said she had nightmares for years. But her mother wanted a little doll to dress up. And the hell with cultural norms.
Load More Replies... File a report for child abuse against the MIL. I would do that to my own mother if she would have the gall to pierce my children's ears while she knew my wife wouldn't have it. Actions do have consequences and I don't care what my relationship to you is, hurt my children or my wife's feelings and your mine.
I'm with you. I think this is so beyond the pale. But I'm afraid it sounds like hubby wouldn't go along.
Load More Replies... I am 100% with the person who asked "but what about YOUR traditions?". Having it all one way, where there are still two separate influences is not good for a successful relationship and raising of children. If OP hasn't fully embraced and bought into her husband's culture she still has her OWN to consider and that is being overridden and obliterated in the rudest way possible.
Although it does sound like they've talked all this through as mature and equal adults and come to decisions together about this - we can see that they have decided together to honour some traditions and to leave other traditions that they as a couple are unhappy with. AND the husband backs his wife in the things she feel strongly about. Sounds like a pretty good relationship to me.
Load More Replies...
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