This Mom Wondered: “AITA For Filing A Complaint About A Hospital Worker Trying To Touch My Baby?”
Personal boundaries are crucial because they allow us to express our expectations for treatment in a clear and concise manner; however, even the most obvious hints don’t always work for some people.
This Redditor called u/PsychologicalHair519 had to be a part of a pretty unpleasant conversation that eventually resulted in her reporting the other person. The thing is, this mom of a 7-month-old had a hospital visit where a staff member continuously tried to touch the child, who was fast asleep, despite many warnings.
More info: Reddit
Hospital worker shames this mother for yelling at her when she attempted to touch her 7-month-old son
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual image)
She went to file a complaint at the check-in desk but was met with similar treatment
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual image)
Image credits: halfpoint (not the actual image)
Image source: u/PsychologicalHair516
“AITA for filing a complaint about a hospital worker trying to touch my baby?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most philosophical communities to ask its members if she was wrong to file a complaint against a hospital worker who refused to take a hint and proceeded to try and touch her 7-month-old. The post managed to garner over 8K upvotes as well as 922 comments discussing the situation.
Did you know that according to IBISWorld, a publisher that provides expert industry research, there are 5,795,082 hospital employees in the US as of 2023? Chances are every single one of them has made a stunning impression on their patients – however, the culprit of today’s story got remembered for a completely different reason.
The post’s creator had to stop by a hospital together with her 7-month-old son. The appointment went fine, and all that was left to do was head downstairs to the lab to get some blood drawn. While waiting to check in, a woman passed by and started to make small talk; she wondered about the child’s gender and asked how old he was.
The kid was peacefully sleeping with a blanket over the stroller when the stranger proceeded to lift it up so she could peek at the author’s son. Naturally, the woman immediately hinted to the woman that her baby was sleeping and had been having a hard time with naps – which apparently is mom code for “don’t touch my baby.” However, the woman clearly didn’t get the memo, went quiet, and continued to try and stick her hand further into the stroller.
That’s when the mother reached her boiling point and essentially snapped, telling the stranger not to touch her child. The woman then revealed that she was actually a hospital employee (as if that would change anything), but the OP wasn’t having any of it.
A conflict ensued that provoked the staff member to shame the woman; she stated that it was a shame that motherhood hadn’t turned her into a “sweet” person who wanted to brag about her child as it does for everyone else. As she walked away, it was finally the OP’s turn to check in – however, before proceeding, she asked the desk worker to file a complaint.
The woman rushed out of the hospital but ended up calling in later to report the staff member
Image credits: Tatiana_Mara (not the actual image)
To the author’s surprise, instead of taking the situation seriously, the woman at the counter questioned the OP’s wish and asked if she was sure of her decision as “lots of people like touching babies here” and moms aren’t usually upset by it. Needless to say, it left the poor mother speechless, so she turned around and rushed out of the hospital as she was close to having a literal breakdown.
Later in the day, she called the hospital, explained her absence, and asked to reschedule. Thankfully, the representative understood and said that she would file that complaint for her. The woman then stated that as soon as she’d simmered down, she began to fear that she had pulled a typical ‘Karen’ move as she’d never reported anyone before.
What do you think about this situation? Would you do things differently if you were in the author’s boots?
Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on this delicate matter
Being in the healthcare field, NTA!!! There are so many germs that can be passed on to an infant's under-developed immune system, especially in a clincal/hospital setting. Please tell me she was at least wearing a mask! There is a reason for having PPE (gloves, maskd
It has always been drilled in our heads as healthcare workers to respect people’s personal boundaries. No means back off and back out.
Load More Replies...
Hospital workers also will and do steal babies. Only those directly involved in you baby's care should touch him, in an exam room, with your permission, and explaining what they're doing as they do it.
Someone rubbed over my toddlers head passing by and I was furious so I understand how she is feeling
That's SO unacceptable! I remember learning at, like 5, to keep my hands to myself! You don't know where that person's been, what they've touched, or if they just had their hand up their a*s (presumably looking for their own head)! As for this story, that woman worked in a HOSPITAL! Can you even IMAGINE the bacteria and viruses crawling on her hands! 🤢😱
Load More Replies...
So, once I was at the park with my son and we were playing where he’d climb up on a bench and jump off to my arms. There was a large group of people there as well, some with children. As I’m playing with my son a little baby girl, maybe 2 years old comes up to us. She wants to play the same game. She climbs up on the bench herself. She was hesitating to jump but kept motioning trying to get the courage to do it. So eventually I picked her up lifted her a smidge and set her on the ground, saying weee! This little girl was hanging around us playing for some time before I did this. No one nearby. No one coming up. After this someone came up and picked her up. I went on playing with my son thinking nothing of it. When we left my husband told me they were making comments about me having the nerve to touch their kid. Well, how about you watch your kid and play with her instead! I didn’t just snatch up a child. I included her in what I was doing. Maybe I was the AH.
I’ve been at the park many times and watched other people’s kids because no one seemed to care. I’ve pushed them on the swing, helped them on or off the monkey bars, helped them down if they climbed too high. I literally stayed two hours once when it was just me, my son, and a little girl younger than him. Literally no one else in sight. I kept toying with the idea of calling the police but I felt bad. The girl looked well cared for, clean, fed, clothed appropriately. Eventually, a man emerged from a parked car that was so far away I hadn’t even seen it. The girl clearly knew him so I left with my son after that. So yes, of course if someone says not to touch your kid you need to respect boundaries, but if you’re ignoring your kid and too busy on your phone and their child engages me I don’t ignore them.
Load More Replies...
why would anyone want to touch an absolutely random child? Some people are so weird and creepy, I swear.
I can't tell you why, but everyone wants to touch others children. It happens soooo often and they always think they're being nice.
Load More Replies...
I'm no Mum, I have no experience with babies, but even I know that them being asleep is a blessed time for the parents and I'd never disturb that. Let alone touching a child without their parent's permission. Hell, I don't even cuddle friendly dogs without asking the owner first! Totally agree with comment about people not complaining about it because there's a power gap between them and the hospital staff. Oh, and I'm 52, so it's not an age thing either.
Reasons not to touch a stranger's baby: 1. STRANGER, 2. Pandemic/germs, 3. MOM TOLD YOU NOT TO! And especially in a hospital! When I worked in a hospital we had to sanitize our hand before and after touching any patient, because our environment made us disease vectors. And that was long before the pandemic.
NTA Every health care worker is trained, sometimes ad nauseum to respect consent. It's not ok, to touch someone without permission or warning. Even if you're on long term, staff greet you and explain that they need to check IVs etc and to touch you as little as possible. si CE a baby can't consent that falls to the parent. Mom said no, that's touching without consent and certainly a violation of hospital practice. Good for the OP for complaining. Non medical staff shouldn't do this either, but the question uation was about putting in a work complaint.
"I'm a proctologist, so I can shove my hand up whoever's butt I want!" That's how that nurse sounds.
I work in Healthcare and I would NEVER touch someone's baby without express permission. NTA and I hope you file that complaint!
NTA. This really happens all the time! Everyone and their grandma walks along and think it's ok to touch my 18 month old child. If I say "He doesn't like being touched", people just don't care. Last week, I was changing him in a public toilet and a random stranger thought it was cool to touch his leg while he was undressed. How about I come into your toilet stall and see how you like it if I touch your leg...
I would have started to pat her like a dog on the top of her head while staring at her saying nothing. Maybe she would have taken the hint then
i wouldve stuck my middle finger up her nose 🖕👃
Load More Replies...
Never let a stranger touch your baby - you don't know where they've been. Never EVER let a random health care worker touch your baby because you DO know where they've been - working in a hospital full of bugs....
NTA. It's your baby. No means no. Someone asks if they can pet your dog and you say no...they better respect that. The dog or owner might bite. In this case the Mom does bite and has every right. You want to wish the mom congratulations. Say the words to the mom. You don't have to touch or see the kid. Boundaries, they are there. Just b/c they aren't tangible doesn't mean they don't exist.
That's some sketchy vibes there. I would not only report her a*s but I would also call the police. Asking questions immediately about the sex and age of my baby, and being so determined and bold to think touching someone else's baby, don't care if they're a health professional, teacher, other parent, or whatever, without permission, and clearly being told to back off, is a sure-fire sign something sinister is going on with that person. No trusty.
NTA!! I’m a retired nurse and you NEVER touch anyone’s baby/ child/ them / patient, without their permission. If I’m going to take a patient’s BP I ask if it’s ok with them. Touching is personal stuff. Absolutely report her and the desk person as high up as you can. Yes, Risk Management. Not only touching, but she seemed to forget about something called COVID. She definitely put that child at risk. Should not be working in a hospital.
NTA, never let someone touch your baby without permission. Older people are the worst " Well Why Not" I will tell you why not, maybe your crazy random person or maybe your an angel of death working in this hospital either way stay away Creep!!
My kids are 25 and 16 and I will BREAK YOU if you touch them without permission! The AUDACITY!
Omg, NO!!! It’s YOUR baby & if you don’t want some random person touching your baby (whether it’s a weird stranger, a nurse/doctor you don’t know or even the pope, FFS); you have EVERY right to be angry when they go against your wishes!! Also, when they said “Are you sure you want to complain, because lots of people like touching babies here & usually the mom is okay with it” … that is honestly horrifying; as they’re basically admitting that they allow babies to be molested by strangers & that those parents are too naive to see the dangers of that! Babies have weaker immune systems & in some cases; even a kiss can be fatal (eg: a “cold-sore kiss” once killed a baby IRL). I’m not a mother & never will be; due to autism, physical disabilities/illnesses & PCOS/endometriosis (but I AM an auntie of 8). Regardless, I’d’ve done the same thing as you; use a raised voice with them for not heeding the “please do NOT touch my baby” & I would 100% follow through with the complaint! 🫢🤷♀️
This feels yucky all around. I get parenthood, not to say I fully understand it, but something about this feels untrustworthy. But I'm thinking of this as though it's in the US so I don't know.
Oh my God, NTA! I love to simper at babies too, but I never get too close and sure as hell NEVER touch! I am a cashier, so I see lots of cute tots, but it ends at smiling, calling them cutie or handsome, and saying bye-bye, if they are old enough to comprehend it. Compliment the hair or big eyes or the cute little hair bow, if time allows. Mostly keep my mind on my job. It never occurs to me to lean in close or touch!
What a strange event. Speaking as a father and someone that absolutely goes nuts at interacting with babies (and puppies and kittens) but also someone that has always been conscious of boundaries, I cannot imagine disturbing a sleeping baby. Anyone's sleeping baby, including my own. Let alone some random baby. But let's say I go crazy and I do anyway, after the first frosty reaction from the mother I most certainly would stop. That's what's really weird about this. It's like they feel entitled to touch people's babies because they work in a hospital. Also, if the baby wasn't sleeping, I'd be much more forgiving, but one never knows what kind of fresh hell the parent went through to make the baby comfortable.
If you continued to read the article where the op answers people's questions, she did answer those.
Load More Replies... 
That's the problem with the whole "Karen" thing. Any woman that speaks up for herself or is inconvenient to others in any way also gets pegged with the label, even when they are definitely not being unreasonable.
Absolutely NTA! The hospital employees were the AHs. The Mom had a valid reason to report both of the hospital employees because they were unprofessional and rude. Nobody has the right to invade anyone's especially a baby's personal space without permission! I have 7 grandchildren and our 2 year old granddaughter has serious medical issues. If someone touched her without permission, I would not be nearly as polite as the OP was. I would definitely report the incident to the hospital AND the police before leaving the building! The innocent baby's life may have been put in danger depending on the germs on the employee's hand! People never know what medical issues a stranger has or what germs are on them. I'll say it again, definitely NTA!!!
Employees represent the business they work for and any business has the right to fire employees they don't want representing them. The lady set respectfully set her boundaries, which were ignored by one employee, and essentially told by another that parents shouldn't expect to have their children's boundaries respected at that place. This wasn't a situation of feeling satisfied. This was about a mother protecting a child that couldn't stand up for themself. Not reporting such things (yes, report, not "complain") is how bullies get formed and/or taught that they can continue to bully because "it's not polite to complain". That may or may not what you meant, but that's how your comment says to me.
Load More Replies...
Being in the healthcare field, NTA!!! There are so many germs that can be passed on to an infant's under-developed immune system, especially in a clincal/hospital setting. Please tell me she was at least wearing a mask! There is a reason for having PPE (gloves, maskd
It has always been drilled in our heads as healthcare workers to respect people’s personal boundaries. No means back off and back out.
Load More Replies... Hospital workers also will and do steal babies. Only those directly involved in you baby's care should touch him, in an exam room, with your permission, and explaining what they're doing as they do it.
Someone rubbed over my toddlers head passing by and I was furious so I understand how she is feeling
That's SO unacceptable! I remember learning at, like 5, to keep my hands to myself! You don't know where that person's been, what they've touched, or if they just had their hand up their a*s (presumably looking for their own head)! As for this story, that woman worked in a HOSPITAL! Can you even IMAGINE the bacteria and viruses crawling on her hands! 🤢😱
Load More Replies... So, once I was at the park with my son and we were playing where he’d climb up on a bench and jump off to my arms. There was a large group of people there as well, some with children. As I’m playing with my son a little baby girl, maybe 2 years old comes up to us. She wants to play the same game. She climbs up on the bench herself. She was hesitating to jump but kept motioning trying to get the courage to do it. So eventually I picked her up lifted her a smidge and set her on the ground, saying weee! This little girl was hanging around us playing for some time before I did this. No one nearby. No one coming up. After this someone came up and picked her up. I went on playing with my son thinking nothing of it. When we left my husband told me they were making comments about me having the nerve to touch their kid. Well, how about you watch your kid and play with her instead! I didn’t just snatch up a child. I included her in what I was doing. Maybe I was the AH.
I’ve been at the park many times and watched other people’s kids because no one seemed to care. I’ve pushed them on the swing, helped them on or off the monkey bars, helped them down if they climbed too high. I literally stayed two hours once when it was just me, my son, and a little girl younger than him. Literally no one else in sight. I kept toying with the idea of calling the police but I felt bad. The girl looked well cared for, clean, fed, clothed appropriately. Eventually, a man emerged from a parked car that was so far away I hadn’t even seen it. The girl clearly knew him so I left with my son after that. So yes, of course if someone says not to touch your kid you need to respect boundaries, but if you’re ignoring your kid and too busy on your phone and their child engages me I don’t ignore them.
Load More Replies... why would anyone want to touch an absolutely random child? Some people are so weird and creepy, I swear.
I can't tell you why, but everyone wants to touch others children. It happens soooo often and they always think they're being nice.
Load More Replies... I'm no Mum, I have no experience with babies, but even I know that them being asleep is a blessed time for the parents and I'd never disturb that. Let alone touching a child without their parent's permission. Hell, I don't even cuddle friendly dogs without asking the owner first! Totally agree with comment about people not complaining about it because there's a power gap between them and the hospital staff. Oh, and I'm 52, so it's not an age thing either.
Reasons not to touch a stranger's baby: 1. STRANGER, 2. Pandemic/germs, 3. MOM TOLD YOU NOT TO! And especially in a hospital! When I worked in a hospital we had to sanitize our hand before and after touching any patient, because our environment made us disease vectors. And that was long before the pandemic.
NTA Every health care worker is trained, sometimes ad nauseum to respect consent. It's not ok, to touch someone without permission or warning. Even if you're on long term, staff greet you and explain that they need to check IVs etc and to touch you as little as possible. si CE a baby can't consent that falls to the parent. Mom said no, that's touching without consent and certainly a violation of hospital practice. Good for the OP for complaining. Non medical staff shouldn't do this either, but the question uation was about putting in a work complaint.
"I'm a proctologist, so I can shove my hand up whoever's butt I want!" That's how that nurse sounds.
I work in Healthcare and I would NEVER touch someone's baby without express permission. NTA and I hope you file that complaint!
NTA. This really happens all the time! Everyone and their grandma walks along and think it's ok to touch my 18 month old child. If I say "He doesn't like being touched", people just don't care. Last week, I was changing him in a public toilet and a random stranger thought it was cool to touch his leg while he was undressed. How about I come into your toilet stall and see how you like it if I touch your leg...
I would have started to pat her like a dog on the top of her head while staring at her saying nothing. Maybe she would have taken the hint then
i wouldve stuck my middle finger up her nose 🖕👃
Load More Replies... Never let a stranger touch your baby - you don't know where they've been. Never EVER let a random health care worker touch your baby because you DO know where they've been - working in a hospital full of bugs....
NTA. It's your baby. No means no. Someone asks if they can pet your dog and you say no...they better respect that. The dog or owner might bite. In this case the Mom does bite and has every right. You want to wish the mom congratulations. Say the words to the mom. You don't have to touch or see the kid. Boundaries, they are there. Just b/c they aren't tangible doesn't mean they don't exist.
That's some sketchy vibes there. I would not only report her a*s but I would also call the police. Asking questions immediately about the sex and age of my baby, and being so determined and bold to think touching someone else's baby, don't care if they're a health professional, teacher, other parent, or whatever, without permission, and clearly being told to back off, is a sure-fire sign something sinister is going on with that person. No trusty.
NTA!! I’m a retired nurse and you NEVER touch anyone’s baby/ child/ them / patient, without their permission. If I’m going to take a patient’s BP I ask if it’s ok with them. Touching is personal stuff. Absolutely report her and the desk person as high up as you can. Yes, Risk Management. Not only touching, but she seemed to forget about something called COVID. She definitely put that child at risk. Should not be working in a hospital.
NTA, never let someone touch your baby without permission. Older people are the worst " Well Why Not" I will tell you why not, maybe your crazy random person or maybe your an angel of death working in this hospital either way stay away Creep!!
My kids are 25 and 16 and I will BREAK YOU if you touch them without permission! The AUDACITY!
Omg, NO!!! It’s YOUR baby & if you don’t want some random person touching your baby (whether it’s a weird stranger, a nurse/doctor you don’t know or even the pope, FFS); you have EVERY right to be angry when they go against your wishes!! Also, when they said “Are you sure you want to complain, because lots of people like touching babies here & usually the mom is okay with it” … that is honestly horrifying; as they’re basically admitting that they allow babies to be molested by strangers & that those parents are too naive to see the dangers of that! Babies have weaker immune systems & in some cases; even a kiss can be fatal (eg: a “cold-sore kiss” once killed a baby IRL). I’m not a mother & never will be; due to autism, physical disabilities/illnesses & PCOS/endometriosis (but I AM an auntie of 8). Regardless, I’d’ve done the same thing as you; use a raised voice with them for not heeding the “please do NOT touch my baby” & I would 100% follow through with the complaint! 🫢🤷♀️
This feels yucky all around. I get parenthood, not to say I fully understand it, but something about this feels untrustworthy. But I'm thinking of this as though it's in the US so I don't know.
Oh my God, NTA! I love to simper at babies too, but I never get too close and sure as hell NEVER touch! I am a cashier, so I see lots of cute tots, but it ends at smiling, calling them cutie or handsome, and saying bye-bye, if they are old enough to comprehend it. Compliment the hair or big eyes or the cute little hair bow, if time allows. Mostly keep my mind on my job. It never occurs to me to lean in close or touch!
What a strange event. Speaking as a father and someone that absolutely goes nuts at interacting with babies (and puppies and kittens) but also someone that has always been conscious of boundaries, I cannot imagine disturbing a sleeping baby. Anyone's sleeping baby, including my own. Let alone some random baby. But let's say I go crazy and I do anyway, after the first frosty reaction from the mother I most certainly would stop. That's what's really weird about this. It's like they feel entitled to touch people's babies because they work in a hospital. Also, if the baby wasn't sleeping, I'd be much more forgiving, but one never knows what kind of fresh hell the parent went through to make the baby comfortable.
If you continued to read the article where the op answers people's questions, she did answer those.
Load More Replies... That's the problem with the whole "Karen" thing. Any woman that speaks up for herself or is inconvenient to others in any way also gets pegged with the label, even when they are definitely not being unreasonable.
Absolutely NTA! The hospital employees were the AHs. The Mom had a valid reason to report both of the hospital employees because they were unprofessional and rude. Nobody has the right to invade anyone's especially a baby's personal space without permission! I have 7 grandchildren and our 2 year old granddaughter has serious medical issues. If someone touched her without permission, I would not be nearly as polite as the OP was. I would definitely report the incident to the hospital AND the police before leaving the building! The innocent baby's life may have been put in danger depending on the germs on the employee's hand! People never know what medical issues a stranger has or what germs are on them. I'll say it again, definitely NTA!!!
Employees represent the business they work for and any business has the right to fire employees they don't want representing them. The lady set respectfully set her boundaries, which were ignored by one employee, and essentially told by another that parents shouldn't expect to have their children's boundaries respected at that place. This wasn't a situation of feeling satisfied. This was about a mother protecting a child that couldn't stand up for themself. Not reporting such things (yes, report, not "complain") is how bullies get formed and/or taught that they can continue to bully because "it's not polite to complain". That may or may not what you meant, but that's how your comment says to me.
Load More Replies... 
61
60