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57 Legal Professionals Reveal The Most Unhinged Moments They’ve Witnessed In Court
Going to court is serious business. It’s the kind of place where you’d expect everyone to be on their absolute best behavior, given that even the smallest outburst could land you in big trouble. But as it turns out, people have a remarkable ability to ignore common sense when it matters most.
So when one lawyer asked legal professionals to share the most shocking things they’ve ever seen inside a courtroom, they had plenty to say. We’ve put together some of the most jaw-dropping stories below. Scroll down to read them.
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#1
I was cross examining a physician in a divorce and kept calling him Mr. He kept correcting me and calling me Mrs which I'm not so I corrected him that I too had a doctorate degree so he could use that title. When I nailed him in a lie he slipped and called me [jerk]. Judge leaned over and said I believe that would be Dr. [Jerk].
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#2
Voir dire.
There was police testimony planned, so the judge asked each prospective juror about past encounters with law enforcement, including if they had been arrested, for what, and the disposition.
After one woman said yes, the judge asked “for?”
“[Ending someone].”
After a brief pause, “and the disposition?”
“They let me go because it was self defense.”
The judge started to move to the next prospective juror, when the woman interrupted “well, don’t you want to hear about the other times?”
#3
I don’t know if this counts as shocking but is was funny.. I got called for jury duty and as I walked to the. Jury Box I said hi Ben to the prosecuting attorney, the judge asked how I knew him, and I said I babysit his son. The judge immediately said I was dismissed . It was hilarious. Gotta love living in a small town .
Bec 1 hour ago
In the instructions from the judge about jury selection he explained that he had duty last year and assumed he would be automatically dismissed due to being a circuit judge, Nope! He was selected and faithfully served his duty. A college professor was in the first round and kept trying to argue his job was just SO important, he couldn't possibly serve - judge was not having any of that nonsense.
#4
This one from way back: Defendant called the District Court judge a "four eyed, baldheaded, sawed-off [jerk]." Judge answered "admitted, admitted, admitted, denied. 30 days direct criminal contempt."
Andrew Keir 2 hours ago
Think it, don't say it - or if you must speak out, be subtle. Disraeli - "The honourable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jokes, and to his imagination for his facts".
#5
Passed out in court once. The judge was finalizing my divorce. He asked my ex if she was pregnant, to which she answered, "Yes." Next thing I know, my chin hurt like a bastard and the bailiff was easing me into my chair. In West Virginia (and probably a lot of other states), if the woman is pregnant, a divorce can't be granted until paternity is established. But no test was needed. After they got me calmed down, the ex said, "I'm not pregnant. I thought you said 'Are you present?'"
#6
As a junior associate in a big law firm in the late 1980s, I was arguing motion in court when the (male) senior associate crept up behind me and started whispering in my ear. The judge, a woman, said "she’s doing just fine by herself, you can go sit down".
#7
Not me, but my son’s dad. Tried to contest his arrears by calling a hearing. The judge reads our original order and says do you understand? He says yes. The judge reads the receipts and says do you understand? He says yes. The judge says so you called this hearing to embarrass yourself in my chambers and admit you’re incompetent and don’t take care of your child on the record? Silence.
#8
I was a juror on a trial. On the last day of testimony, the defendant took the stand and introduced a theory to explain how his wife "passed away". The cat did it.
#9
Literally yesterday, judge gave my client a final protective order, read the order to her ex, he had been remanded for breaking the order 3x. Judge asks “Do you understand?”
“Yes, your honor.” Then proceeds to walk over and throw a letter at my client. I’m blocking him as 4 bailiffs tackle him and take him back to jail.
Judge says to his lawyer, “Do we need a translator?”
#10
Defendant (tenant) had a medical episode in the middle of a trial. Landlord started recording under the table (big no-no to videotape in the courtroom).
Paramedics came, took Def. out on a stretcher.
Landlord’s lawyer is rolling his eyes and murmuring to the gallery.
Judge: “ok, we’re going to have to continue this. 1 week?”
Landlord’s lawyer: “We object. He was faking it to get out of court.”
Judge: “If he’s faking it, he’s winning an Oscar.”
🍒 : landlord arrested for videotaping in court.
#11
Prosecutor: “and how do you know that’s the attacker?”
Witness: “look at her, she’s shaped like a bell pepper. Ain’t too many [women] in the city shaped like bell peppers”
#12
My dad took my mom to court 17 times to reduce his child support payments. You would think that after the 3rd time he went to court and the judge upped the child support payments that he would stop. But not my dad. Child support payments were upped each time my dad tried to get it reduced. And then he wanted my mom to pay for his lawyers fees. I was 1yo when he left and 16yo when he finally stopped taking my mom to court.
#13
I guess technically it happened in the hallway outside the courtroom but pro se litigant physically attacked me and tried to grab my file folders while she was screaming.
This was an employment law case.
#14
well, i saw a lawyer invite a judge outside a courtroom to fight.. the judge took him up on that offer.
#15
Not really shocking to any one from our city. Jury pool included board member’s wife for large company case being prosecuted. “Do you think you might have an issue with judging this case, Mrs S___ (S____ being the NAME OF THE COMPANY)”
Very genteel lady response “I don’t see how I wouldn’t”. She was excused. We townies burst out laughing.
#16
One of my clients had a reputation for violence in the courtroom. Mostly directed at furniture, such as flipping the large oak council’s table.
When the judge denied my bail motion, he stood up, told the judge to go [to hell], and mooned him in open court.
#17
So not my story but my dad’s (verified as true by multiple sources): Dad was cross examining witness. Dad getting under witness’s skin because witness is full of BS and dad won’t let up. Witness eventually tells dad angrily, “And if I’m lying then may God strike me!”
Witness has a heart attack on the stand less than five minutes later and does indeed [pass away].
#18
My divorce. A big screen tv was wheeled in, and there I am in my back yard adjusting my bikini top, sunbathing. My jerk ex had hired a PI to sneak around and film me. To prove I didn't need alimony.
#19
Not “shocking” but there was a pro se criminal defendant who came to every hearing and to file in the Clerk’s Office wearing the exact outfit he was wearing in every single piece of video evidence.
#20
I was in court (again) for my ex deciding he didn’t want to pay court-ordered support and the judge told him, “you have 72hrs to pay or you can bring all your financial documents and your toothbrush because you’re going to jail.” Had that man sitting there like 👁️ 👄 👁️
#21
Prospective juror revealed during voir dire that she had an intimate relationships with 2 of the lawyers and a bailiff. All of them married long term so yeah, outed them as cheaters.
#22
My witness’ water broke on the stand and she went into labor. We had to call the paramedics and then evacuate the courtroom so the hazmat team could decontaminate the courtroom.
#23
Defendant didn’t stand when the judge walked in.
Judge: “you like games?!? What’s your favorite? Monopoly? Clue? Mine is locking people up! Sheriff!”
#24
My son, 17, got a speeding ticket in a nearby parish. Of course I had to go to court with him. Courtroom packed. We had to sit there while they brought up those who had been arrested. They were in cuffs and leg irons and dressed in the wide black-and-white stripes from the cartoons! They were to say their names when asked, told the charge and asked: How do you plead? They were to say: Not guilty. And then they were given a date. Two rows of them. It was going very quickly UNTIL:
Judge: What is your name?
Person: Go to hell!
Judge: 30 days. What is your name?
Person: Go to hell!
Judge: 30 days. What is your name?
Person: F you!
Judge: 30 days. What is your name?
Person: Go to hell!
Judge: 30 days. What is your name?
Judge never changes his tone, looks at the courtroom, smiles: I can do this all day.
Got a different answer the next time!
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
It's called the 'dripping tap' method and I can personally state that it works 😉
#25
Mid custody hearing pro se mom jumped me because I opposed her motion for custody (medical records showed father unavailable because she and her other sons beat him and landed him in hospital). That is why I no longer do family law
Kelly Scott 27 minutes ago
When I was taking court reporting classes, I was told to never ever do Family Court because the things you'll hear in there will break your heart.
#26
Judge Kevin Farmer of Fulton Counry giving full custody to a man who admitted to [violence] and when he wasn’t making medical purchases for his children for 5 years & still at the trial a year later admitted he wasn’t administering medicine as prescribed.
#27
Foster parents can tell so many sad stories. Most involve sitting in court and hearing a lot of details about multiple types of hurt actively going on in a house, and then after the judge hears all of that, they rule against the advice of the social worker and GAL and decide the kids are going back to that home TODAY and there’s no time to even prepare the kids.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 7 hours ago
Yep. I recognize that in my country as well. Despite the many warnings, 911 calls and witnesses, the state does nothing till the child is either d**d or in a coma-state. And then always blaming "the system" for being too late (again) but never making actual plans for improvement because everyone says they can't make a change because of "the system".
#28
A defendant received a 60 year sentence. Before he was remanded, he punched his attorney dead in the face. I mean, knocked that man off of his feet. What's a 6 month simple battery misdemeanor when the court just served up a 60 piece hard labor sentence, right?
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
Nothing to lose ... I respect custody officers but I couldn't do their job
#29
Attorney was also on the elder board at a church and apparently was used to praying in front of the congregation. As he got into the rhythm of his opening statement: “…and looking at the evidence, Father God - er - Your Honor…”
Beak Hookage 9 hours ago
Reminds me of a story I read - I think it was here on BP, in fact - where this kid had just come off a 14 hour shift at McDonald's, and when he got home and was asked to say grace at dinnertime he automatically opened with "welcome to McDonald's; can I take your order?"
#30
Like others have said, don't know if this is shocking, but I was called for jury duty. The judge asked me what I did for a living. I told him I am a pharmacist. He said, "Oh, so you can get the good stuff, huh?" I stared at him for a moment and said, "That's inappropriate." He made a face but didn't say anything. He knew he was wrong to say that.
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
Respect, for slapping a judge down in his own courtroom ! But don't do it twice ...
#31
The father of a child I was working with threatened to [end] me. He had done this several times in person and over the phone. Decided to do it in front of the judge too.
#32
When I cross examined the " Good Mormon Husband" with printouts of his M4M Craigslist personals posts that showed his face and a whole lot more
#33
I was apart of a jury and the defendant’s lawyer said a body couldn’t fit in a suitcase. Prosecutors ordered an exact duplicate of the suitcase and got inside and zipped it.
Needless to say they were found guilty and sentenced to life.
Even crazier a girl a part of the jury team felt guilty and said she was going to write him a letter 😐
#34
When I was in court (long story), the judge said you may be seated. I was handcuffed and ankle cuffed. I go to sit, and I fell soooo hard. A loud thud then an audible gasp from the whole room. The officer and my lawyer had to help me up due to the cuffs. On top of it being one of the most traumatic times of my life, it was also one of the most embarassing.
When I had initially stood up my lawyer pulled my chair back a little bit. I didn’t know
#35
Mine happened during my divorce mediation. My ex was demanding full custody and child support.
My lawyer casually slid full color 8x10 photos on glossy paper to everyone at the table. This is the home my ex lived in with his elderly ailing parents, rent-free. His parents are both gone now and this building has been demolished, which is why I'm comfortable sharing these.
His attorney immediately asked for separate rooms. Our mediation ended when my ex walked out on his lawyer.
Now, it wasn't that he lived in a mobile home with his parents, I already knew that for many years.
It was that he, an able bodied, employed, adult man allowed the home of his parents to remain in squalor and wanted our children to live in the same.
#36
I saw local police try to enter into evidence the statement of a 5 year old child as absolutely reliable. They also stated the same child could not actually testify because a 5 year old is an unreliable witness.
The magistrate looked over her glasses at the police prosecutor and said “you can’t have it both ways. Is the child reliable or not?”
#37
I mean, how about being in the middle of a custody hearing when you find out that the parties are still seeing each other?
#38
We finished picking a jury in one of the nicer areas in Los Angeles County. The judge had the clerk swear the jury, then the judge immediately stopped and asked one of the jurors if he had just flipped off the clerk. The juror admitted he had. No one saw it except the Judge. Judge excused the juror from the jury and told him to go to the public defender’s office, he needed an attorney for the OSC re Contempt.
#39
I was a post bar working for a plaintiff's lawyer. He took me to my first deposition, which was more exciting than any deposition should be because he and opposing counsel got in a physical altercation during it. Two late middle aged men rolling around on the conference room table throwing relatively ineffective punches. The court reporter reported the whole thing too.
#40
defendant took cyanide and [unalived] himself in the courtroom after being convicted of burning down his multimillion dollar home here in Arizona, guy went after his defense attorney tried to [unalive] him in the courtroom, a personal friend and public defender did CPR on a defendant who was having a heart attack without any thought of her own personal safety, guy broke out into a interpretive dance instead of making a statement...
#41
Domestic violence jury trial, victim testifying. She starts to have a panic attack, prosecutor asks to approach. As prosecutor walks up, victim stands up and faints, lands right on top of the prosecutor, at the base of the jury box. Hello, mistrial.
#42
Once I had a defendant in jail ask me to get in her Facebook page and tell everyone where she was.
#43
Lots of people try lots of ways to get out of jury duty. I was picking a jury once when one guy pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to the judge's clerk. The judge excused him, and then told the lawyers that the letter was from his pastor and said that if picked that man to be on a jury, then "God will smite them." The judge said the jury commissioner was going to have a word with that juror and his pastor.
Geoffrey Scott 4 hours ago (edited)
And THAT'S the exact reason why the US cannot be a "Christian Nation".
#45
A pro se defendant when I clerked for a municipal judge who refused to answer anything verbally, would only point to his “statement”. Said statement ended up framed in the judge’s office, it was such a … masterpiece. He claimed he was the Divine Messiah, and thusly (there was much fancy-sounding language) not subject to the court’s jurisdiction.
Alternatively, if the judge would not recognize his divinity (as he was used to being persecuted 🎻), he was the two hundred and something descendant of Charlemagne, and thus had diplomatic immunity as a representative of the Holy Roman Empire. 👑
#46
Witness was repeatedly asked questions about missing documents and why weren't they produced. Where are they? He stood up pulled his pants down spread his cheek a nd said, "I don't know. Do you see them in there?"
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
Repeated questions can be rather irritating - see the 'Dripping Tap' technique for details
#47
As an intern in Family Court, I watched a woman in a custody proceeding decide to act out by banging her hands on the chair she was sitting in and then throwing herself on the floor due to the Judges ruling. The Judge watched her perform and then calmly mentioned did he have to order a 730 examination. The woman got up off the floor and sat quietly in the Courtroom while the Judge finished the custody determination. Yada yada the woman scratched her exes’s car in the parking lot.
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
There's what happens in Court - and there's what happens in the world ...
#48
Houston judge wanted lawyers to call each other Dr. because JD. At a status hearing for a personal injury case the availability of the MDs for each side was being discussed which made for a total of four doctors. At one point the Judge asked about Dr. Jones and Dr. Smith said, with more than a little frustration, "No, judge, HE'S Dr. Jones".
The judge dropped that requirement soon after and began to wear the historical judicial robes: red. Texas judges wear black, muni to the Supreme Court
#49
My ex boyfriend walk in as a defendant my first night as an assistant public defender in local town criminal night court
#50
Not half as good as some of these, but being voie dired (?) for a defendant that was named, I kid you not, Sapphire Dibbles. She had shanked her BF for being with his side piece. Someone had tried to clean her up. Two toned hair pulled back. Some semblance of a thrift store suit, and then dirty white sandals. Must have caught me giving side eye, because she whispered to her lawyer, who immediately scratched me off the list.
#51
Not shocking and honestly not even what you’re asking for but I’ll never pass up an opportunity to laugh at my awkwardness: I was called for jury duty, everyone was in the room kind of waiting around and I needed to go to the restroom. When I came back, I opened the court room door at the same time the elderly bailiff was opening it from the other side and for whatever reason my immediate response was to say “BOO!” The room was silent so everyone heard. I did not get picked for duty.
#52
I had to to appear in court over a speeding violation. One case that was presented was where a guy committed a crime with a friend, fled the scene when police arrived and his friend was arrested, not him. Fast forward 6 months later, this guys conscience caught up with him and he voluntarily turned himself in. The judge couldn’t stop shaking his head. All of us in the courtroom silently locked eyes with each other all thinking the same thing, we are all looking really good right now 😶.
#53
I live on a farm. We have critters. Was in motion court waiting for my matter to be called. Matter before me dragging on. Magistrate was asleep (I think). Next thing, a loud CROAK emanates from my briefcase and two little webbed feet appear at the top of it. A loud plop is heard as a frog leaps onto the floor. I elbow the advocate next to me and say "catch it!" He says "it's YOUR frog!" I flutter my eyelashes at him and say "But I'm a GIRL!"
He catches the frog and puts it back in my briefcase.
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
... and girls can't do - what, exactly? You just tried very hard to cement the glass ceiling 😒
#54
I had a settlement conference in Visalia 2 hour drive and I had the flu. Judge told me the number to settle and I said usual song and dance about negotiation. Judge got mad and had me and counsel thrown out of the courthouse. Revenge was sweet as we got a defense verdict at trial
#55
I had a defense lawyer try to trick my hand writing expert on the stand with a color copy of the documents in question. He went through an entire production by wearing gloves etc. Thankfully my expert calmly said “nice try that’s a copy not the original” and the jury gasped and glared at the lawyer.
#56
This was a teen court case and I’ll never forget it:
Defense Attorney: Why did you step on his shoes?
Defendant: Because he called me a Cracker.
Defense Attorney: Cracker? Like Ritz or Saltine?
Mind you I’m the co-defense attorney and sitting behind him. I just had to look down and close my eyes
#57
I was evicting a resident at the request of my boss. It appeared he was losing so on the last day his lawyer dropped something about his “late wife” while I was on the stand. I had a disgusted look on my face because I just saw her yesterday and knew the sleazy attorney was lying. I should have called them out. But I didn’t. We lost and I got fired. All because my boss didn’t like the guy. I never went back into property management.
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