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Mom Wonders If She’s A Jerk For Wearing Jeans To Daughter’s Wedding To Prove A Point, Gets A Reality Check Online
Mom Wonders If She’s A Jerk For Wearing Jeans To Daughter’s Wedding To Prove A Point, Gets A Reality Check Online
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Mom Wonders If She’s A Jerk For Wearing Jeans To Daughter’s Wedding To Prove A Point, Gets A Reality Check Online

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Some days are bigger than us. They demand putting our ego aside and just sucking it up. But when Reddit user BallFinal2037‘s daughter’s wedding came around, the woman couldn’t be happy for her. For whatever reason, she thought of it not as a celebration of love, but rather as an opportunity to get revenge on the bride.

However, it was the woman’s husband who confronted her about it, stirring up doubts in her mind. So she turned to the subreddit r/AITAH (which is a lot like the popular r/AITA) to describe the situation and ask its members for unbiased opinions on the matter. Here’s what she wrote.

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    Instead of celebrating her daughter’s wedding, this mother wanted to get back at her for all the times she disrespected her with her attire

    Image credits: Ayşenur (not the actual photo)

    So the woman purposefully put on a pair of jeans

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    Image credits: Olena Bohovyk (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: u/BallFinal2037

    According to Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, it’s usually better to overdress for a wedding than underdress. However, before one makes their final decision, they should read the room. For example, don’t wear a tux or a ballgown to a backyard wedding—in that case, it’s better to keep it a little more low-key.

    Swann also thinks the location has a lot to do with what you should wear. If it’s a destination wedding, then you know that you’d be wearing resort-style attire. But if it’s going to take place at a high-end hotel, then that’ll give you another idea of the theme.

    The other indicator that helps determine your style is the time of day the ceremony is taking place. Earlier in the day, you’re going to find that the attire is going to be less formal, which means more bright colors and flowy fabrics, while later in the evening is when you’ll get to that formal attire where you have black and gold hues, beads, and sparkles.

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    Of course, this is all generally speaking, but these are good guidelines to follow, and judging by them, the author of the post really did miss the mark.

    Yes, pettiness is part of being human. In fact, the 2019 Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) Pettiness in the Workplace survey found that 97 percent of people report having engaged in petty behavior. However, we should be able to rise above it, especially when we’re talking about the people closest to us.

    People thought the woman was acting like a spoiled child

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    LH25
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I love is the daughter showed that her not dressing up wasn't malicious or personal. It didn't matter to her

    Renegade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Girl's already learned how to deal with her mother's narcissism. I can't imagine trying to punish one of my kids for some minor offense they committed at 17.

    Load More Replies...
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I suppose the daughter was just thrilled that her narcissist mother didn’t show up in a wedding dress as she probably expected.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you need to get all fancy and dressed up to go out to a Birthday dinner? Did you ever think that the reason she never dressed up is because she didn't want to go? YTA and you did it to get back at her for being a typical teen. No wonder your husband was furious.

    deanna woods
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This woman is a piece of work. Her daughter was seventeen years old when she dressed in jeans, this lady is in her fifties. By wearing jeans, the girl was showing that she was comfortable around her family. She dressed up for the boyfriend because she wanted to impress him. The fact that this is still on this woman's mind is very disturbing. I applaud her daughter's ability to ignore her and not let her foolishness ruin her day. The husband is embarrassed because his wife chose a very important moment to be petty. Even if her daughter didn't say anything, the wedding guests did and it wasn't nice. People that act like this are only embarrassing themselves and they deserve it.

    Lori Vega
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Read it again! For the love of all things good, Yall are disappointing, to say the least. She clearly stated dressing appropriately for the occasion was a lifelong choice and that the birthday dinner was at an expensive, fancy restaurant. It appears that the Mother's REAL problem is not narcissistic behavior no it's far worse. The inability the teach her child manners in the first place and then allowing the disrespect to continue for 23 years without putting her foot down and disciplining her child instilled values, appreciation, respect, and manners long before she was old enough to get married. Goodbye, let her be her husband's spoiled problem now!

    Load More Replies...
    the Return of Bruno
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No matter what offense the daughter may have committed, enacting revenge on the wedding day makes that revenge serve to sum up their entire relationship. As in: that's what she's thinking of on THAT day?

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it's such a minor "offence"! A teenager dressing in clothing that suits her instead of her mother on a few occasions!

    Load More Replies...
    Dirk Daring
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She tried to make her daughter's wedding day be all about herself. She tried to goad her daughter into causing a scene, and the daughter totally No-Sold it. I love it! Everything about this mother's story SCREAMS Victim Personality.

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is a Victim Personality? I’ve never heard that term before. New DSM term or…?

    Load More Replies...
    Chris O'Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's what I got from this: Mom wanted a fight; she wanted the drama at the wedding at her daughter's expense making it about her. Daughter has class coming out her a$$ not responding to Mom. What people need to understand is a wedding isn't about the guests or family. It's about the people getting married. It's not a place to be petty or bring your BS. Just show up, be happy for the couple, have a couple drinks and eat some sub-standard banquet food, do the Chicken Dance and go home.

    Seedy Vine
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the reasons I went no-contact with my own mother was because of her stringent dress code. She always seemed more interested in what my clothing or hair looked like rather than who I was as a person.

    Janet Pattison
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly, I was thinking that the daughter might end up going no contact w/ mom, who has major issues w/ trying control her daughter.

    Load More Replies...
    ToGo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What an absolute fruitcake!

    El MasChingon
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what a POS mom to do something so petty at her daughter's wedding, the fact that her daughter didn't react proves it was never a big deal to her only this s****y mom

    Beth Bartel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also shows the daughter is used to her mother's melodramatics and has learned not to respond

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    LH25
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I love is the daughter showed that her not dressing up wasn't malicious or personal. It didn't matter to her

    Renegade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Girl's already learned how to deal with her mother's narcissism. I can't imagine trying to punish one of my kids for some minor offense they committed at 17.

    Load More Replies...
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I suppose the daughter was just thrilled that her narcissist mother didn’t show up in a wedding dress as she probably expected.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you need to get all fancy and dressed up to go out to a Birthday dinner? Did you ever think that the reason she never dressed up is because she didn't want to go? YTA and you did it to get back at her for being a typical teen. No wonder your husband was furious.

    deanna woods
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This woman is a piece of work. Her daughter was seventeen years old when she dressed in jeans, this lady is in her fifties. By wearing jeans, the girl was showing that she was comfortable around her family. She dressed up for the boyfriend because she wanted to impress him. The fact that this is still on this woman's mind is very disturbing. I applaud her daughter's ability to ignore her and not let her foolishness ruin her day. The husband is embarrassed because his wife chose a very important moment to be petty. Even if her daughter didn't say anything, the wedding guests did and it wasn't nice. People that act like this are only embarrassing themselves and they deserve it.

    Lori Vega
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Read it again! For the love of all things good, Yall are disappointing, to say the least. She clearly stated dressing appropriately for the occasion was a lifelong choice and that the birthday dinner was at an expensive, fancy restaurant. It appears that the Mother's REAL problem is not narcissistic behavior no it's far worse. The inability the teach her child manners in the first place and then allowing the disrespect to continue for 23 years without putting her foot down and disciplining her child instilled values, appreciation, respect, and manners long before she was old enough to get married. Goodbye, let her be her husband's spoiled problem now!

    Load More Replies...
    the Return of Bruno
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No matter what offense the daughter may have committed, enacting revenge on the wedding day makes that revenge serve to sum up their entire relationship. As in: that's what she's thinking of on THAT day?

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it's such a minor "offence"! A teenager dressing in clothing that suits her instead of her mother on a few occasions!

    Load More Replies...
    Dirk Daring
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She tried to make her daughter's wedding day be all about herself. She tried to goad her daughter into causing a scene, and the daughter totally No-Sold it. I love it! Everything about this mother's story SCREAMS Victim Personality.

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is a Victim Personality? I’ve never heard that term before. New DSM term or…?

    Load More Replies...
    Chris O'Quinn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's what I got from this: Mom wanted a fight; she wanted the drama at the wedding at her daughter's expense making it about her. Daughter has class coming out her a$$ not responding to Mom. What people need to understand is a wedding isn't about the guests or family. It's about the people getting married. It's not a place to be petty or bring your BS. Just show up, be happy for the couple, have a couple drinks and eat some sub-standard banquet food, do the Chicken Dance and go home.

    Seedy Vine
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the reasons I went no-contact with my own mother was because of her stringent dress code. She always seemed more interested in what my clothing or hair looked like rather than who I was as a person.

    Janet Pattison
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly, I was thinking that the daughter might end up going no contact w/ mom, who has major issues w/ trying control her daughter.

    Load More Replies...
    ToGo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What an absolute fruitcake!

    El MasChingon
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what a POS mom to do something so petty at her daughter's wedding, the fact that her daughter didn't react proves it was never a big deal to her only this s****y mom

    Beth Bartel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also shows the daughter is used to her mother's melodramatics and has learned not to respond

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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