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Mom Refuses To Take Daughter To A Party That “Very Clearly Wasn’t Meant For Her”
It’s perfectly fine to love pink, and just as fine to dislike it. But forcing that preference onto someone else? Not so much.
This Redditor’s 5-year-old daughter has made it clear she’s not a fan of the color. Her grandad’s partner, however, simply refuses to accept it. In her latest attempt to “fix” the child’s taste, she planned a surprise pink-themed party—where every inch of the space, from the balloons to the tableware, looked like it had been dipped in strawberry frosting and bubblegum.
Luckily, the girl’s mom found out just in time and quickly put a stop to it. Though not without some family drama, of course. Read the full story below.
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The 5-year-old girl was well known for hating pink
Image credits: serenkonata / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
So when her grandad’s partner decided to throw a pink-themed party, it ended about as well as you’d expect
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Boshoku / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: DaughterPartyThrow
Image credits: PNW Production / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Pink became a “girly” color less than 100 years ago
Although many people are pushing back against the idea that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, the association is still cemented into our brains. After all, it continues to be the default for gender reveal parties, dominates toy aisles, and coats beauty product packaging.
But it wasn’t always this way. In fact, this color coding is a relatively new concept.
Surprisingly, it used to be the complete opposite. A look at a 1918 article from the American trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department reveals the following: “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”
Earlier, in 1884, it was standard for boys to wear dresses until the age of seven, as it was considered gender-neutral. In the 21st century, however, this is often seen as a rebellious act against societal norms.
“It’s really a story of what happened to neutral clothing,” Jo B. Paoletti, a historian at the University of Maryland and author of Pink and Blue: Telling the Girls From the Boys in America, told Smithsonian Magazine. Having explored the meaning of children’s clothing for 30 years, she explained that, at one point, young children, regardless of gender, wore white dresses until around age six.
“What was once a matter of practicality—you dress your baby in white dresses and diapers; white cotton can be bleached—became a matter of ‘Oh my God, if I dress my baby in the wrong thing, they’ll grow up perverted,’” Paoletti said.
The association of pink with girls and blue with boys took hold in the 1940s, driven by American consumer preferences and marketing trends. “It could have gone the other way,” Paoletti noted. And by the 1950s, pink had become strongly associated with femininity, though “tomboy” clothing was still acceptable for play.
This trend took a pause between the mid-1960s and the early 1980s, largely due to the women’s liberation movement, which rejected hyper-feminine fashion and embraced a unisex look. Paoletti even found that for two years in the 1970s, the Sears, Roebuck catalog didn’t feature any pink toddler clothing.
In the 1980s, prenatal testing became widely available, allowing parents to learn the sex of their baby before birth. This, in turn, fueled a resurgence of gendered clothing and products, as expectant parents began shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise, from diapers and baby clothes to strollers and toys. The rise of consumerism only reinforced these trends, leading us to where we are today.
Now, many parents face the question of how to raise their children: should they dress them according to societal norms, or allow them to fully express themselves?
“One thing I can say now is that I’m not real keen on the gender binary—the idea that you have very masculine and very feminine things,” Paoletti said. “The loss of neutral clothing is something that people should think more about. And there is a growing demand for neutral clothing for babies and toddlers now, too.”
Some readers agreed that the mom was right to cancel the party
Others, however, argued that refusing to like a color was no different from forcing someone to love it
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What do you think ?
Ms.GB 10 months ago (edited)
Yeah if I were 5 years old and I showed up and found out somebody threw me a party in a color they knew I hated I would be very upset and think they did it to be mean. That's what a child is going to think.They aren't going to think "Oh grandpa's gf just wants me to learn to appreciate different colors." Like wtf lady.
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 10 months ago
It's only a gift if it takes in consideration the person getting the gift. otherwise it's either a powerplay or a show off .
Weltschmerz 10 months ago (edited)
I feel because Prue never had kids she's projecting on to this child her own wants and desires. My daughter from about 3 started to make it clear that she hates anything girly and would not wear pink or dresses or anything flowery. She now wears hoodies, jeans, trainers and a flat peaked cap most days and that's great!
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Karina 10 months ago
I think I woild have told the kids we are going to "restaurant", but stopping at grandpa first, because prue has a party, but " we dont have to stay if you dont want to".And then tell them its OK to say their opinion if they have feelings about it. I think Prue deserved to have her scheme torn down by the strenght of a free-willed 5 year old. She might have set her straight once and for all.
R Dennis 10 months ago
I see your point, but I don't think a five year old should be put in that position. At that age, the parent has to protect and stand up for the child. If that was my child, it would be a 2x4 conversation of not treating my child that way and that I'm giving them ONE opportunity. If they can't respect the child, they can go about their lives without us.
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JayWantsACat 10 months ago
It's crazy how many people project their own issues. Firstly, calling A CHILD an "ungrateful, spoiled brat who is unwilling to compromise" is ridiculous but, secondly, THAT'S LITERALLY YOU.
Annik Perrot 10 months ago
A little girl who doesn't like pink, oh the horror! Better "convert" her before she becomes a lesbian. Or maybe woke. / s
Vinnie 10 months ago (edited)
Or a guy. I bought one of my nieces a meccano set and now he's my nephew. My parents wisely never bought me a meccano set, so I only identify as demi-female. (Joking aside, he's now happier, more mature, and more productive - being in a closet is drain on one's energy and personal growth)
Load More Replies...
Deborah 10 months ago
All the YTA - Prue shouldn't be forcing her likes on anyone, they (commenters) seem obsessed because the color in question is pink!
Vinnie 10 months ago
Could be. Maybe they'd think different if it was vomit green or doggydo brown.
Load More Replies... 
Tiffany 10 months ago (edited)
You're not in the wrong. You're supposed to "support" your kids and also attune to their needs.. not make them attune to yours. The grandmother clearly is too selfish and all about "meeeee." Best to keep away from her. It'll just give your daughter and you toxicity and trauma. Your daughter is an individual who doesn't like pink. Don't force something like that on her. The grandmother isn't teaching her anything by force. We're supposed to separate ourselves from toxic individuals if it's bringing you and your family stress and harm. Honestly, just free yourself. You'll feel relief. All you did was protect your daughter. Good on you for following your instincts and installing boundaries.
Captive 10 months ago
Is it that Prue just can't accept the fact that a girl doesn't like pink or is she worried the girl might become a lesbian if not "led" a certain way?
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
I thought that too. Cleo does have certain pink items she likes, and so does OP. So it’s not an extreme negative pathological response to a color, it’s merely a strong preference against pink. When I was a kid, I didn’t mind pink. Then when I was 15, we moved into a new house, which was a great house, but even my parents said it needed total redecorating (vast differences in taste). I was given the room in the front (I chose the location), which just happened to be the room that the daughter of the couple we bought the house from had had. The place was top to bottom pink. Pink carpet, pink wallpaper, pink trim, all pink. I had to live in it for 6 months until my parents finished redoing the kitchen, bathrooms, and all the main rooms and had finally gotten to redoing the bedrooms. When they asked me what color I wanted my room to be, I immediately said blue. Floor to ceiling blue. Not one speck of pink (it was a shame that the wallpaper was pink, as it was a lovely delicate Japanese print that I liked—-and if it had been just about any other color, I would’ve kept it). Because I had grown to dislike pink very strongly by then. It was a couple decades before I even started letting pink be an accent color anywhere around my home or wardrobe. I still will never have a pink room or wear all pink. But I don’t obsess over not liking pink. When my husband and I were first together, he didn’t know how much I hated pink, so for one of our first Christmases together, he gave me a really nice LL Bean winter jacket—-in hot pink. When he noticed and mentioned that I never wore it, he found out just how much I hated pink. He has known better than to get me anything pink ever since. The jacket was out on eBay, and sold quickly, so he was able to recoup some of the expense (LL Bean ain’t cheap). So yes, I do very much understand how a child who has a string dislike of pink would be upset at someone throwing them an all-pink girly-girl very belated birthday party. As an adult, I would be upset too, though I would handle it differently from a child. Maybe.
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
"Prue" sounds f*****g psychotic. And if the kid HAD attended this ridiculous party she would probably have been miserable as hell.
Chris the Bobcat 10 months ago
Grandfather's partner is trying to force her own standards on OP's daughter. Not cool. Grandfather is a pvssywhipped b!tch and needs to grow a spine so he can stand up for his own family members.
Hakitosama 9 months ago
Lemme guess...Prue is insisting because it's a GiRlIe cOlOr.......... someone, hold me back or I'll punch this sexist pos to hell and back !
Lisette Verkade 10 months ago
I too hate pink, my daughter loves it. She doesn’t like yellow… She’s adult now but when she was little I bought her pink clothes etc, never got her anything yellow. It’s just stupid to forse any colour on anyone
Pamela Blue 9 months ago
Prue has an issue she needs to address. Why is she so obsessed with forcing a 5 year old girl to like pink? There's something very odd with her need to promote this colour to the child. I'd be going LC with the lot of 'em.
Craig Reynolds 9 months ago
What is with relatives that think they can push their wants and likes on someone else's children against their wishes? I would rip Prue a new one for continuing that behavior, and dear old dad would get ripped a new one as well. Any talking back will win them both the 'No Contact' prize for playing FAFO.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 10 months ago
Why always with the gaslighting? "Prue" needs a long, brutal, detailed lecture on how her toxic self centered demented behavior will not be tolerated. And demand she answer for it. Like literally answer why she thinks this is okay and what's wrong in her brain to obsess over this and force it.
SkippyJohnJones29 10 months ago
why is everyone freaking out about a color? I truly do not understand. If she likes it, cool. if not, still cool. Why does it have to be a whole production? baffling.
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
If your dad has a problem with this, wonder how he would react if somebody did a princess party for his birthday? If he things your daughter needs to go, then he should do the same.
Willie D'Kay 10 months ago (edited)
This is an instance where I would spoil the surprise and show my kid the picture and let them decide. I mean, cake. Prue is definitely TA but I think kids should always be allowed to make their own choices if it's not something harmful and is age appropriate. 5 is old enough to see the passive aggressiveness from Prue. I could see the same c**p from my own relatives at 5. Cleo already has an opinion on Prue and the pink thing, so this won't really change that opinion, but cake. CAKE!
Sarah Léon 10 months ago
My mother always dreamed of having a girly girl. She wanted to comb her hair, make beautiful dresses, play with Barbies etc. Then she got me. A tomboy who loved stuffed animals but hated anything dolly except one doll (a boy doll by the way, the only one in the shop in 1985 and I wanted HIM !). At 4yo I wanted to be chief of the police and ride a T-Rex. I refused any dress the very first day I could give my opinion. She tried until I was 7/8, then let it go and went to buy me playmobils and legos and dinosaurs ! She still made pink clothes and even satin furniture for my one and only Barbie so she could be pretty before going at war (she had short hair and a lot of guns from my Action Men !). When you love someone, you deal with what they love, even if it's not what you wanted.
person (i think) 10 months ago
I *guess* she could have given the kids a choice between the pink party and McDonald’s. Prue’s obsession is more like she always ‘dreamed’ of having a girly girl for a daughter, but since that didn’t happen, she has glaumed onto Cleo as the “easiest” kid to slot into that fantasy
Deborah 10 months ago
This is an attempted power play by Prue! She obviously has some very old-fashioned ideas about "girl" color which she should keep to herself. The focus here needs to be on Prue attempting to force anything on the child. She should have backed off the first time she was told the girl doesn't like pink. A gift should take into consideration what the person likes, and after being told more than once about the color issue, this is no longer misguided in any way, shape or form.
Load More Replies... Ms.GB 10 months ago (edited)
Yeah if I were 5 years old and I showed up and found out somebody threw me a party in a color they knew I hated I would be very upset and think they did it to be mean. That's what a child is going to think.They aren't going to think "Oh grandpa's gf just wants me to learn to appreciate different colors." Like wtf lady.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 10 months ago
It's only a gift if it takes in consideration the person getting the gift. otherwise it's either a powerplay or a show off .
Weltschmerz 10 months ago (edited)
I feel because Prue never had kids she's projecting on to this child her own wants and desires. My daughter from about 3 started to make it clear that she hates anything girly and would not wear pink or dresses or anything flowery. She now wears hoodies, jeans, trainers and a flat peaked cap most days and that's great!
Load More Replies... Karina 10 months ago
I think I woild have told the kids we are going to "restaurant", but stopping at grandpa first, because prue has a party, but " we dont have to stay if you dont want to".And then tell them its OK to say their opinion if they have feelings about it. I think Prue deserved to have her scheme torn down by the strenght of a free-willed 5 year old. She might have set her straight once and for all.
R Dennis 10 months ago
I see your point, but I don't think a five year old should be put in that position. At that age, the parent has to protect and stand up for the child. If that was my child, it would be a 2x4 conversation of not treating my child that way and that I'm giving them ONE opportunity. If they can't respect the child, they can go about their lives without us.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 10 months ago
It's crazy how many people project their own issues. Firstly, calling A CHILD an "ungrateful, spoiled brat who is unwilling to compromise" is ridiculous but, secondly, THAT'S LITERALLY YOU.
Annik Perrot 10 months ago
A little girl who doesn't like pink, oh the horror! Better "convert" her before she becomes a lesbian. Or maybe woke. / s
Vinnie 10 months ago (edited)
Or a guy. I bought one of my nieces a meccano set and now he's my nephew. My parents wisely never bought me a meccano set, so I only identify as demi-female. (Joking aside, he's now happier, more mature, and more productive - being in a closet is drain on one's energy and personal growth)
Load More Replies... Deborah 10 months ago
All the YTA - Prue shouldn't be forcing her likes on anyone, they (commenters) seem obsessed because the color in question is pink!
Vinnie 10 months ago
Could be. Maybe they'd think different if it was vomit green or doggydo brown.
Load More Replies... Tiffany 10 months ago (edited)
You're not in the wrong. You're supposed to "support" your kids and also attune to their needs.. not make them attune to yours. The grandmother clearly is too selfish and all about "meeeee." Best to keep away from her. It'll just give your daughter and you toxicity and trauma. Your daughter is an individual who doesn't like pink. Don't force something like that on her. The grandmother isn't teaching her anything by force. We're supposed to separate ourselves from toxic individuals if it's bringing you and your family stress and harm. Honestly, just free yourself. You'll feel relief. All you did was protect your daughter. Good on you for following your instincts and installing boundaries.
Captive 10 months ago
Is it that Prue just can't accept the fact that a girl doesn't like pink or is she worried the girl might become a lesbian if not "led" a certain way?
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
I thought that too. Cleo does have certain pink items she likes, and so does OP. So it’s not an extreme negative pathological response to a color, it’s merely a strong preference against pink. When I was a kid, I didn’t mind pink. Then when I was 15, we moved into a new house, which was a great house, but even my parents said it needed total redecorating (vast differences in taste). I was given the room in the front (I chose the location), which just happened to be the room that the daughter of the couple we bought the house from had had. The place was top to bottom pink. Pink carpet, pink wallpaper, pink trim, all pink. I had to live in it for 6 months until my parents finished redoing the kitchen, bathrooms, and all the main rooms and had finally gotten to redoing the bedrooms. When they asked me what color I wanted my room to be, I immediately said blue. Floor to ceiling blue. Not one speck of pink (it was a shame that the wallpaper was pink, as it was a lovely delicate Japanese print that I liked—-and if it had been just about any other color, I would’ve kept it). Because I had grown to dislike pink very strongly by then. It was a couple decades before I even started letting pink be an accent color anywhere around my home or wardrobe. I still will never have a pink room or wear all pink. But I don’t obsess over not liking pink. When my husband and I were first together, he didn’t know how much I hated pink, so for one of our first Christmases together, he gave me a really nice LL Bean winter jacket—-in hot pink. When he noticed and mentioned that I never wore it, he found out just how much I hated pink. He has known better than to get me anything pink ever since. The jacket was out on eBay, and sold quickly, so he was able to recoup some of the expense (LL Bean ain’t cheap). So yes, I do very much understand how a child who has a string dislike of pink would be upset at someone throwing them an all-pink girly-girl very belated birthday party. As an adult, I would be upset too, though I would handle it differently from a child. Maybe.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 10 months ago
"Prue" sounds f*****g psychotic. And if the kid HAD attended this ridiculous party she would probably have been miserable as hell.
Chris the Bobcat 10 months ago
Grandfather's partner is trying to force her own standards on OP's daughter. Not cool. Grandfather is a pvssywhipped b!tch and needs to grow a spine so he can stand up for his own family members.
Hakitosama 9 months ago
Lemme guess...Prue is insisting because it's a GiRlIe cOlOr.......... someone, hold me back or I'll punch this sexist pos to hell and back !
Lisette Verkade 10 months ago
I too hate pink, my daughter loves it. She doesn’t like yellow… She’s adult now but when she was little I bought her pink clothes etc, never got her anything yellow. It’s just stupid to forse any colour on anyone
Pamela Blue 9 months ago
Prue has an issue she needs to address. Why is she so obsessed with forcing a 5 year old girl to like pink? There's something very odd with her need to promote this colour to the child. I'd be going LC with the lot of 'em.
Craig Reynolds 9 months ago
What is with relatives that think they can push their wants and likes on someone else's children against their wishes? I would rip Prue a new one for continuing that behavior, and dear old dad would get ripped a new one as well. Any talking back will win them both the 'No Contact' prize for playing FAFO.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 10 months ago
Why always with the gaslighting? "Prue" needs a long, brutal, detailed lecture on how her toxic self centered demented behavior will not be tolerated. And demand she answer for it. Like literally answer why she thinks this is okay and what's wrong in her brain to obsess over this and force it.
SkippyJohnJones29 10 months ago
why is everyone freaking out about a color? I truly do not understand. If she likes it, cool. if not, still cool. Why does it have to be a whole production? baffling.
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
If your dad has a problem with this, wonder how he would react if somebody did a princess party for his birthday? If he things your daughter needs to go, then he should do the same.
Willie D'Kay 10 months ago (edited)
This is an instance where I would spoil the surprise and show my kid the picture and let them decide. I mean, cake. Prue is definitely TA but I think kids should always be allowed to make their own choices if it's not something harmful and is age appropriate. 5 is old enough to see the passive aggressiveness from Prue. I could see the same c**p from my own relatives at 5. Cleo already has an opinion on Prue and the pink thing, so this won't really change that opinion, but cake. CAKE!
Sarah Léon 10 months ago
My mother always dreamed of having a girly girl. She wanted to comb her hair, make beautiful dresses, play with Barbies etc. Then she got me. A tomboy who loved stuffed animals but hated anything dolly except one doll (a boy doll by the way, the only one in the shop in 1985 and I wanted HIM !). At 4yo I wanted to be chief of the police and ride a T-Rex. I refused any dress the very first day I could give my opinion. She tried until I was 7/8, then let it go and went to buy me playmobils and legos and dinosaurs ! She still made pink clothes and even satin furniture for my one and only Barbie so she could be pretty before going at war (she had short hair and a lot of guns from my Action Men !). When you love someone, you deal with what they love, even if it's not what you wanted.
person (i think) 10 months ago
I *guess* she could have given the kids a choice between the pink party and McDonald’s. Prue’s obsession is more like she always ‘dreamed’ of having a girly girl for a daughter, but since that didn’t happen, she has glaumed onto Cleo as the “easiest” kid to slot into that fantasy
Deborah 10 months ago
This is an attempted power play by Prue! She obviously has some very old-fashioned ideas about "girl" color which she should keep to herself. The focus here needs to be on Prue attempting to force anything on the child. She should have backed off the first time she was told the girl doesn't like pink. A gift should take into consideration what the person likes, and after being told more than once about the color issue, this is no longer misguided in any way, shape or form.
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