As writer Hanson O’Haver pointed out, there’s a pretty simple way to figure out if a joke is offensive: if the punchline is the victim, the joke is probably bad.
But pranks take this one step further. They not only laugh at the victim, pranks create a victim for the sole purpose of laughing at them.
So when Reddit user u/Small-Raspberry-6561 saw her son targeting his sister, she couldn’t just let it slide. After one particularly mean toilet incident, the woman made him clean up the mess, and her little one finally started to understand that his actions have consequences.
However, the woman’s husband thought it was bad parenting and confronted her about it.
This mom found out her son pulled a nasty prank on his sister, making her pee all over the bathroom
Image credits: Pranksters in Love (not the actual photo)
So the woman insisted he had to clean the mess, but the boy tried to talk himself out of it
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Small-Raspberry-6561
We managed to get in touch with u/Small-Raspberry-6561 and she was kind enough to have a little chat with us.
“Dax and Mia get along OK, but honestly not that great,” the mom told Bored Panda. “They used to be a lot closer when they were younger, but recently, since Mia has grown up a bit, she’s a lot less amused by her brother’s pranks and jokes. For the most part, they keep their distance. It’s not like they hate each other or anything, but they’re definitely not best friends.”
u/Small-Raspberry-6561 said she and her husband have discussed the issue since she made the post they still fundamentally disagree.
“He has a weird standoff-ish approach with parenting and a general attitude of never punishing the kids. He wants to ‘let them be kids’ and refuses to make them take responsibility for anything,” the mom explained. “I would personally prefer a bit of a harsher approach, to teach them how to navigate life better. I think punishment is an important part of growing up. And you don’t have to be overly harsh, to teach them a lesson and let them know that some actions are not OK.”
“I’ve spoken to Mia about this directly and checked in with her to make sure she’s doing all right. I don’t think she has any particular grudge against her brother, but she was very embarrassed in the situation, and she’s definitely getting tired of his antics. My husband and I have a continual dialogue about this. But it seems like we can’t come to a good agreement on what to do. Dax’s behavior is OK and he’s making his sister feel on edge in her own house all the time. I want to help her in any way I can.”
In hindsight, the woman is happy with the way she handled the situation. “I think my reaction was the right one, and that belief has been reinforced after making my post and seeing that the majority of people here agree with me. Dax needs to learn the natural consequences of his actions and this was a good way of doing that.”
Pranks can cross the line into abuse
Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., who is a AMHCA Diplomate and clinical specialist in child and adolescent counseling, recognizes that social media has given rise to increasingly higher stakes in pranking, chasing views and money.
Because of this, “Spouses, partners, family members, and friends have been subject to pranks that involve gruesome scenes, physical harm, and humiliation,” Sarkis wrote. “When some victims confronted the people perpetrating the prank, their concerns were brushed off or told they needed to ‘lighten up.'”
These situations can seriously disrupt relationships, making the victims of pranks question whether they have the right to be upset, especially if the perpetrator doesn’t take the victim’s concerns seriously. But they shouldn’t.
“You have a right not to be pranked,” Sarkis highlighted. “You have the right to be treated with kindness and respect. You also have the right to speak out when you feel a sense of injustice or have witnessed an injustice towards another person.”
“Pranks may qualify as a form of emotional or psychological abuse. Pranks can be how a person attempts to gain control over their partner, family members, or friends. Pranks can invoke fear and give the perpetrator a feeling of power over others,” she added.
By sending her family a clear message that pranks are not tolerated in their household, the author of the Reddit post is trying to foster an inclusive environment for everyone involved.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Natural consequences help kids learn to make good choices
As a parent, it’s tempting to just take away your child’s iPad whenever for they misbehave. But if you do so, your kid won’t learn the powerful lessons that natural consequences can teach.
Essentially, natural consequences are simply what happens as a result of a person’s actions, without much intervention by an outside party.
By employing this approach when a child makes a mistake, the parent lets the child learn by doing, truly experiencing the fruits of their labors, Aliza Pressman, PhD, an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics and psychologist at Mount Sinai Kravis Children’s Hospital in New York City, explained.
This can mean that they end up chilly, overtired, without their homework, late, or any number of other unpleasant things. They may feel disappointed or frustrated.
Natural consequences are things that happen automatically as a result of a child’s action or inaction without any purposeful behavior on the adult’s part, and if the natural consequence is unwanted or unpleasant, the child has the opportunity to learn from the experience and do things differently the next time to avoid the unpleasant experience.
So let’s hope “Dax” walks away from this whole thing with a better understanding of why pranks aren’t cool.
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
As the story went viral, the original poster (OP) provided more information on the whole ordeal
And people unanimously said she did nothing wrong
The saran wrap on the toilet prank is so old, my Mom told me this was a common prank at her university back in the 1960s. I think the Mom was 100% correct to make the son clean it up. Your prank = your mess.
Was thinking the same thing. I remember the girls doing it (to each other) on a mixed touch football trip 30ish years ago. It's annoying, and gross but relatively harmless. The punishment certainly seemed more than fair though. In fact it sounds like the boy is the only one doing the pranks and (maybe) has trouble differentiating between what is and isn't an appropriate prank. So seems like time to step in and call time on all pranks. Dad is the biggest AH in the story though. Maybe he needs to be on the butt end of a few of the pranks.
Load More Replies..."Boys will be boys" is toxic and bad parenting. OP needs to have a chat with her husband about how he is undermining his son, and setting him up to be a toxic a*****e later in life. It sounds like tiktok is a major problem, and a 1 week ban is not enough. I would suggest a week without internet (except for essential homework use) and two addional weeks without tiktok, every time he copies bad behaviour from tiktok. Make it clear to him that pranks are only funny if everyone involved has consented to pranking, and finds the particular prank funny. Otherwise it's bullying and harassment.
Agree. It's clear that the sister doesn't like pranks, so they should not allow him to prank her anymore at all, she needs to feel like her home is a safe space and not a place where she can be bullied at any moment. And if they think he should be allowed to prank people, they should give him permission to prank his parents as much as he likes, but not his sister. I agree on your punishments as well, the punishments should be something he really cares about and not being allowed on Tiktok for a longer time everytime he has done a prank, will quickly make him realize that the prank isn't worth it because he would rather have Tiktok for 2 weeks than do 1 prank. I think they also should do empathy exercises with the boy, not as a punishment, but to help him develop empathy which he seems to lack.
Load More Replies...The saran wrap on the toilet prank is so old, my Mom told me this was a common prank at her university back in the 1960s. I think the Mom was 100% correct to make the son clean it up. Your prank = your mess.
Was thinking the same thing. I remember the girls doing it (to each other) on a mixed touch football trip 30ish years ago. It's annoying, and gross but relatively harmless. The punishment certainly seemed more than fair though. In fact it sounds like the boy is the only one doing the pranks and (maybe) has trouble differentiating between what is and isn't an appropriate prank. So seems like time to step in and call time on all pranks. Dad is the biggest AH in the story though. Maybe he needs to be on the butt end of a few of the pranks.
Load More Replies..."Boys will be boys" is toxic and bad parenting. OP needs to have a chat with her husband about how he is undermining his son, and setting him up to be a toxic a*****e later in life. It sounds like tiktok is a major problem, and a 1 week ban is not enough. I would suggest a week without internet (except for essential homework use) and two addional weeks without tiktok, every time he copies bad behaviour from tiktok. Make it clear to him that pranks are only funny if everyone involved has consented to pranking, and finds the particular prank funny. Otherwise it's bullying and harassment.
Agree. It's clear that the sister doesn't like pranks, so they should not allow him to prank her anymore at all, she needs to feel like her home is a safe space and not a place where she can be bullied at any moment. And if they think he should be allowed to prank people, they should give him permission to prank his parents as much as he likes, but not his sister. I agree on your punishments as well, the punishments should be something he really cares about and not being allowed on Tiktok for a longer time everytime he has done a prank, will quickly make him realize that the prank isn't worth it because he would rather have Tiktok for 2 weeks than do 1 prank. I think they also should do empathy exercises with the boy, not as a punishment, but to help him develop empathy which he seems to lack.
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