Dad Is Livid After Realizing His Ex Only Spends A Fraction Of His Child Support Money On Their Son, She Turns To The Internet For Support
One single mom’s story on Reddit caused quite a bit of drama on the website. The mom, who goes by the throwaway Reddit name u/aitalivingcheaply, opened up to the AITA subreddit, an online community with nearly 3.2 million members, about how she uses (or rather doesn’t use) the “generous amount of child support” her ex sends to support their 4-year-old child each month.
The mom explained that she uses only a small fraction of the money on her son, putting the rest away for his future, preferring to live very frugally. Naturally, this caused some friction with her ex who believes all of the money should be spent on their son, instead of squirreling it away. You’ll find the full story below.
What do you think of the entire situation, dear Pandas? Do you think the mom was in the wrong here or do you think she had her child’s best interests in mind? Just remember, we shouldn’t be quick to judge anyone before getting to know the full context. Keep in mind that some redditors rushed to express their opinions without reading the author’s comments in full, so they had a slightly skewed view.
Parenting is extremely difficult and we can sometimes forget a simple truth—there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent, only striving to be the best possible parent for one’s children.
A mom sparked a fiery discussion online when she shared what she does with most of her son’s child support that she gets from her ex
Image credits: Jonathan Cooper (not the actual photo)
Here is her full story that she shared on the AITA subreddit
The redditor’s post got quite a bit of attention, netting over 12.7k upvotes and getting nearly 4k comments. Members of the AITA community were very emotional when talking about this topic.
While most redditors decided that the mom was wrong to save a large chunk of her son’s child support, she also had a lot of supporters who pointed out that she wasn’t neglecting her kid or spending the money on herself. In their opinion, she simply had a different view about finances.
Bored Panda reached out to parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin to get her opinion about the idea that parents ought to strive to be ‘perfect.’ She was very clear that there’s no such thing and that it’s all an illusion that distracts us from what’s important: our daily effort for the sake of our kids. ‘Enough’ is better than ‘perfect’ because the latter is possible.
“Literally, no one is a perfect parent. What would a ‘perfect’ parent even look like? I believe it can be harmful to have over-the-top expectations of perfection for ourselves and other parents. We’re all just trying to figure it out as we go,” Samantha, the founder of the Walking Outside in Slippers blog, told Bored Panda that we should never be too quick to judge any parent.
“Even professional experts in the field of child-rearing or mental health have questions and doubts, I’ve come to find through talking with other parents,” Samantha said that far from everything is figured out, so there are no easy answers about what a parent should or should not do. It’s less about having a crystal-clear map of directions and more about sailing rough seas in the mist, guided by opinions and personal experience.
“Parenting as depicted on Instagram with the cute little letter boards is the literally and figuratively filtered version of parenthood, and not something anyone should attempt to attain,” the parenting blogger pointed out that we should take our social media feeds with a large grain of salt (preferably a whole fistful of it if we can), as it’s a snapshot, an attempt to appear ‘perfect’ without actually being it.
“Our daily grind and best effort have to be enough when it comes to parenting,” she said.
The story got a lot of different reactions from internet users. Here’s what some of them said
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Hmmm, money aside, she is teaching her son some valuable lessons: You don't always have to spend the money you have. Toy shop: you get one toy. New hobby or sport: Let's see if you stick to it before indulging and buying all that stuff. Although the child's future is secure financially doesn't mean the child has to be spoiled. I do hope the money saved will go to the son and not the mother as that is payed for by the father.
I like the idea of getting cheaper items when starting a hobby. My family had to watch their pennies, so that stayed with me. When I started hiking, my first boots were pretty cheap. Once I was certain I liked hiking, I got the durable high quality ones. It felt like a reward. I knew someone who bought top-of-the-line items right off the bat for himself and his family -- and some items were only used once. Genuinely nice guy, so it's sad that they managed to blow through his income and ended up broke. He grew up getting money whenever he asked it.
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What the hell is with the responses? Child support does not mean you use it all to buy the kid whatever they want. It is to help support raising a child, including food, clothing, housing, etc. So if she can afford to support them both without the child support then yes, the extra money should go into savings. I don't think people realize what child support is for. It is not just to buy the kid things, it is to put towards everything that goes into raising a kid, including having a nest egg for emergencies. Good on her for saving the money. Also, kids love to be active, a good 25 minute walk sounds healthy and great for both the kid and mother.
Exactly. Including paying part of the rent, the food, the water and electricity… And to have savings in case she gets unemployed.
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Mum sounds like a practical and reasonable parent who wants to instill the value of things in her kid. Saving the money for a rainy day is not an arsehole move. Most people are only one unfortunate accident or illness away from poverty. A rainy day fund is prudent and wise. Dad sounds like a slightly spoilt kid who loves his son dearly and wants the best for him. Also not an arsehole. Parents need to have a chat about values, not money. Also... kid is only 4. Its not like his financial needs are huge at this age. Wait a few years til his extracurricular activities, social events, technology requirements increase. I am sure Mum will need all the child support she gets.
Hmmm, money aside, she is teaching her son some valuable lessons: You don't always have to spend the money you have. Toy shop: you get one toy. New hobby or sport: Let's see if you stick to it before indulging and buying all that stuff. Although the child's future is secure financially doesn't mean the child has to be spoiled. I do hope the money saved will go to the son and not the mother as that is payed for by the father.
I like the idea of getting cheaper items when starting a hobby. My family had to watch their pennies, so that stayed with me. When I started hiking, my first boots were pretty cheap. Once I was certain I liked hiking, I got the durable high quality ones. It felt like a reward. I knew someone who bought top-of-the-line items right off the bat for himself and his family -- and some items were only used once. Genuinely nice guy, so it's sad that they managed to blow through his income and ended up broke. He grew up getting money whenever he asked it.
Load More Replies... What the hell is with the responses? Child support does not mean you use it all to buy the kid whatever they want. It is to help support raising a child, including food, clothing, housing, etc. So if she can afford to support them both without the child support then yes, the extra money should go into savings. I don't think people realize what child support is for. It is not just to buy the kid things, it is to put towards everything that goes into raising a kid, including having a nest egg for emergencies. Good on her for saving the money. Also, kids love to be active, a good 25 minute walk sounds healthy and great for both the kid and mother.
Exactly. Including paying part of the rent, the food, the water and electricity… And to have savings in case she gets unemployed.
Load More Replies... Mum sounds like a practical and reasonable parent who wants to instill the value of things in her kid. Saving the money for a rainy day is not an arsehole move. Most people are only one unfortunate accident or illness away from poverty. A rainy day fund is prudent and wise. Dad sounds like a slightly spoilt kid who loves his son dearly and wants the best for him. Also not an arsehole. Parents need to have a chat about values, not money. Also... kid is only 4. Its not like his financial needs are huge at this age. Wait a few years til his extracurricular activities, social events, technology requirements increase. I am sure Mum will need all the child support she gets.
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