Inheritance battles are a popular theme in fiction. (Any Succession fans out there?) But one Reddit user claims it’s become her life.
Speaking to the ‘AITAH‘ community, the woman revealed that her late great-aunt supposedly left her $700K, and now that the lady has passed, it should have been transferred to her bank account.
Only there’s one catch. The Redditor’s mother doesn’t approve of the “dirty” money and has made it her mission to stop the transaction.
This woman reportedly inherited $700K of her great-aunt’s poker winnings
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
However, her mother thinks the money is “dirty” and that she shouldn’t accept it
Image credits: AmnajKhetsamtip (not the actual photo)
Image credits: mymominerhitance
This particular inheritance dispute is quite atypical
In their study, UK-based researchers Stephan Köppe, who is an Assistant Professor of Social Policy at the University College Dublin, and Misa Izuhara, a Professor of Social Policy at the University of Bristol, set out to understand why families go to court to fight over inheritances.
“[We found that] families go to court if there is something worth fighting for,” Köppe wrote. “Smaller inheritance disputes are more likely to be settled out of court.”
According to the researchers, a lot of trouble is associated with physical assets, as they are extremely hard to share and distribute, and things like a family home can become a difficult matter (especially if, for example, one child continues to live in the family home).
It’s even worse for physical assets relating to a working business, such as farmland. “Typically, people aim to protect the family business by passing it on to one heir,” Köppe explained. “Problems can arise, though, if a family member is promised the inheritance or given a ‘verbal indication’ that they will receive it – and perhaps works in the business in expectation of it – and is then left out of the will.”
So the fact that the Redditor and her mom are having arguments over money makes this particular case a bit atypical. As does their relation to one another.
“Most of the conflicts we came across in our research took place among members of the same generation,” Köppe added. “Sibling rivalry and envy is a key reason to go to court … More siblings and a large extended family make it harder to find common ground about a fair share of assets.”
As her story went viral, the author of the Reddit post joined the discussion in the comments and said that she was “saddened and worried” about losing the relationship she has with her mom.
Hopefully, they’ll find a way to put aside their differences.
Image credits: Javon Swaby (not the actual photo)
People have had a lot of strong reactions to the story
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"Hey, Mom. I'm really interested in bow you can sanitise tainted money. Can you explain it to me?" .... "Right, I'll do that with Auntie's money, get it nice and clean, and then use it to pay off my student loans, and buy a house. Thanks Mom."
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Of course, the other word for that is 'laundered', which is a financial crime. The mother's got herself into a moral pickle there.
Load More Replies... Sanitise? Yeah, right. This reminds me of the early years of the National Lottery in Britain. Someone won just over £18 million, and it was discovered that he was Muslim and his local mosque had a hissy fit, but then said it would be ok if he donated a big wad of money to them. For clarification, I only mention that he is Muslim because he is. I can easily see the same scenario with any other religious group that you care to mention.
Also this is poker, and while it is gambling, for me is the least problematic type.
The aunt was good enough to make a living and leave a large amount in her will, it's only barely gambling in her case
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I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your mom is just greedy. Your suggestion of donating to charity is a very good one: kudos to you. In that way, something good will come of it. Why do you think the money was left to you in the first place? It could well be that your aunt had an inkling that your mother was just jealous and disguised this by feeding her moral horse. Listen, donate some money to charity, do it anonymous and then use the rest for yourself. I'm sure the money will be well-spent: you don't seem like the kind of person who will let money go to their heads. Enjoy it! That's the best use. As for 'sanitizing money': just tell your mom there is no such thing, but she already knows, of course. Stand firm and good luck!
"Mom, I don't want it to taint your soul, so I will make sure the evil money stays faaar away from you"
Not sure whether the Mom wants the money for herself, or if she's one of those crazy obsessed religious types who'd give it all to her mega-church. Either way, I think the kid (26 year old!) should take the money and run. The Mom will get over it, and if she doesn't then good riddance. Pay down any debts, put a chunk aside in a secure investment (like a term deposit) another chunk in a riskier investment (Like shares or the money market) and use the rest to buy a house and car. Or at least as a deposit on the house. Don't retire thinking that'll last forever, just keep working but know that you're financially secure now.
The mum is a giant hypocrite and fake Christian. OP should absolutely keep the money.
Any decent mother would be glad their daughter had received such a boost in life, rather than being jealous.
Quite simply put the Mother is emotionally blackmailing the daughter. She shouldn't give flying duck about going against Mother's wishes, and personally I'd point out Mother isn't centre of the universe nor it's moral compass, and given is tainted money it's best she actually has none at all.
Really? A 26 year old needs to turn to Reddit to get to know what she should do?
Some people are really brainwashed by their controlling parents.
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"All or nothing?" OK, nothing. Also "sanitize?" OK, mom, I'll put it through the washer/dryer. Sorted!
How infantilized is OP? She's 26. She can't make an obvious decision without approval from mommy? She has to do what mommy says? Mommy wants that money all to herself. This is ridiculously obvious. Also, in case OP sees these replies, that big yellow thing in the sky is the sun.
I don't think she asked her mother's opinion, or approval, it was 'volunteered' when the news came out. I don't know how it came out, but if I inherited that amount of money I would have told my mother even married and not living with her. Do you not share good news with your parents?
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I'd say MAYBE you have a conversation with the mother if she wanted the entire thing to go to charity or whatever. But that BS excuse of "sanitizing" money is an insanely obvious money grab.
Don't give it all away, even to charity. She wanted you to have it. Remember this was only a small portion of her estate, she may already have donated a large sum on her own. Funnily enough, only this week, there was news about charities being told to take all money donated, no matter where it came from. So, maybe it would have been rejected anyway up to that point. I do remember, years ago, following along from the infamous W.I. nude calendar, other clubs got in on the idea and one tried to donate the money from theirs to a well known London children's hospital. The hospital refused the funds because of how it had been raised.
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'Religion' says you can't - but the local church will gladly accept it ... and definitely her greedy mum, who I hope she refused to give it to.
"Define 'sanitize' for me, Mom. Oh wait, if I give it to you, your very presence will make it clean, right? Uh huh. Not happening, Mommy Dearest. End of discussion." NTA.
Mom doesn't approve of aunt's profession, won't shut up about it. Aunt dies leaving large sum to neice and none to mom. There is a message there, pay attention. Keep the money and find a friend your own age.
Money is evil, give it to me. I will sanitize it....by spending it all on myself.
This sounds made up. Also, there isn’t really a dilemma here. If your mother or best friend truly advised you to turn away 700k, then they aren’t looking out for your best interests and obviously they don’t care for you. But we are to believe the mom didn’t just say “you can’t accept that money” but also said “you have to give the money to me”? And the OP doesn’t know what to do? I call BS.
If you don't believe the gambling is evil then it is unreasonable for her to demand you give up this windfall - it will significantly change the quality of the rest of your life. I don't believe she's trying to steal the money from you, however if she intends to use it to benefit the family as you say, then she IS trying to steal control of how that money is put to use. Sanitize my a*s, in that case, because how are her decisions so much more pure than yours? That's ridiculousness. For the 'tainted money' stance, only 100% donation to charity would meet the standard and that's an absurd choice. She'll get over it and if she holds a grudge that is entirely her issue, appeasing her is not worth the cost (both quality of life and emotionally) on this.
Does mummy not realize that the $1 bill in her purse has touched a strippers boobs and nuts before she paid for her Starbucks with it? Currenct is the FILTHIEST thing we touch on a regualr basis. Not because of gambling, but because it's been rubbed on privates, paid for sex, paid for d***s, been vomited on, been rubbed with bodily fluids, paid for d***s, and possibly even paid for murder. Tell mommy to sanitize ALL of HER money first, and let you worry about your money.
Your mom uses the same ideology as Rasputin having s*x with prostitutes to “cleanse” them
Oh, so it's dirty money, but not so dirty that SHE can't use it, heh? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I don't care how she wraps it up, your dearest mom wants the money for herself and is trying to guilt you into stupidly giving it up. If your aunt had wanted your mother to have any of it, she would have drawn her will accordingly. Accept the money, pay off your student debts, buy a house etc, and invest the rest. DON'T share it with family, esPEcially mom, as nothing you give her will EVER be enough. I mean, hey.
Wtf???????? What has your mother has to do with YOUR inheritance????? And why should uou “compromise” according to her wishes. This is a s****y mom
Her mother is not her best friend, she's a manipulative, jealous and greedy nightmare. I hope the daughter sees the light, takes the inheritance and lives her best life with financial security. Imagine being a "loving mother" and wanting to deny your own child financial security!
Your mom's a nut job. She's jealous of your aunt. Take ALL of the money and do whatever you want with it. You don't have to share a dime. Maybe buy a "fake" diamond bracelet (cubic zirconia) for $50 and flaunt the heck out of it. Tell mom your aunt would want you to have that.
Nope! Your mother is an opportunist who is using her ideology as a paycheck. . . or misunderstands the concept of money laundering. In any case, shut it down. If you want to be diplomatic, maybe tell her you've enlisted an [insert clergy here] to bless your good fortune thanks to her concerns, but there's nothing to worry about now.
Your mother is an unhinged master of manipulation. Boy does she have you fooled. She wants to sanitize it by spending it on what she deems worthy. I guess the bad can be cleansed but only by her. YOUR MONEY. Don't give the hypocrite a cent.
You and mum are "best friends"? Sounds more like you are trying to be the "best friend" than she is..."Sanitise" the money? With what, bleach? I don't think so, babe. Sounds like mum is trying every trick in the book to get her hooks into the money. If she does, you're cooked. You're 26 years old? Tell "mummy dearest" to f*** herself and move out. You ARE an adult in 99.9% of the world's cultures. Move in with auntie if you have to or if you can. Mum is showing you exactly who she is with all of this...listen to her.
I know some people are going to be indignant about this and, I don't know why, exactly, but that whole, my mum and I are best friends thing, makes me feel uncomfortable. Your mum is your mum. That is her role in life. Even though, like in the OP's case, she is an adult, she still needs her mum as her mum. Your friends are a different thing entirely. She is not your friend.
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Donate the entire sum to a reputable charity and get a tax receipt. Don't tell mum you got a tax receipt for it. Now it's "gone" and completely away from Mum's hands. Assuming she doesn't have her greedy nose stuck in you tax business too.
Take the money. Tell money you donated it all. Then use small amounts to pay off bills. Get a used car that's nice but not flashy. Pretend you got a raise at work or a bonus an buy mom something. Wait a few years a get a small home you can flip later an upgrade but deff don't tell her or let her get into your finances. Make sure those stay private.
Why? Why sneak around like this? Just be honest. Saying no is perfectly acceptable in this situation. Mom can deal.
Load More Replies... "Hey, Mom. I'm really interested in bow you can sanitise tainted money. Can you explain it to me?" .... "Right, I'll do that with Auntie's money, get it nice and clean, and then use it to pay off my student loans, and buy a house. Thanks Mom."
Load More Replies... Of course, the other word for that is 'laundered', which is a financial crime. The mother's got herself into a moral pickle there.
Load More Replies... Sanitise? Yeah, right. This reminds me of the early years of the National Lottery in Britain. Someone won just over £18 million, and it was discovered that he was Muslim and his local mosque had a hissy fit, but then said it would be ok if he donated a big wad of money to them. For clarification, I only mention that he is Muslim because he is. I can easily see the same scenario with any other religious group that you care to mention.
Also this is poker, and while it is gambling, for me is the least problematic type.
The aunt was good enough to make a living and leave a large amount in her will, it's only barely gambling in her case
Load More Replies... I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your mom is just greedy. Your suggestion of donating to charity is a very good one: kudos to you. In that way, something good will come of it. Why do you think the money was left to you in the first place? It could well be that your aunt had an inkling that your mother was just jealous and disguised this by feeding her moral horse. Listen, donate some money to charity, do it anonymous and then use the rest for yourself. I'm sure the money will be well-spent: you don't seem like the kind of person who will let money go to their heads. Enjoy it! That's the best use. As for 'sanitizing money': just tell your mom there is no such thing, but she already knows, of course. Stand firm and good luck!
"Mom, I don't want it to taint your soul, so I will make sure the evil money stays faaar away from you"
Not sure whether the Mom wants the money for herself, or if she's one of those crazy obsessed religious types who'd give it all to her mega-church. Either way, I think the kid (26 year old!) should take the money and run. The Mom will get over it, and if she doesn't then good riddance. Pay down any debts, put a chunk aside in a secure investment (like a term deposit) another chunk in a riskier investment (Like shares or the money market) and use the rest to buy a house and car. Or at least as a deposit on the house. Don't retire thinking that'll last forever, just keep working but know that you're financially secure now.
The mum is a giant hypocrite and fake Christian. OP should absolutely keep the money.
Any decent mother would be glad their daughter had received such a boost in life, rather than being jealous.
Quite simply put the Mother is emotionally blackmailing the daughter. She shouldn't give flying duck about going against Mother's wishes, and personally I'd point out Mother isn't centre of the universe nor it's moral compass, and given is tainted money it's best she actually has none at all.
Really? A 26 year old needs to turn to Reddit to get to know what she should do?
Some people are really brainwashed by their controlling parents.
Load More Replies... "All or nothing?" OK, nothing. Also "sanitize?" OK, mom, I'll put it through the washer/dryer. Sorted!
How infantilized is OP? She's 26. She can't make an obvious decision without approval from mommy? She has to do what mommy says? Mommy wants that money all to herself. This is ridiculously obvious. Also, in case OP sees these replies, that big yellow thing in the sky is the sun.
I don't think she asked her mother's opinion, or approval, it was 'volunteered' when the news came out. I don't know how it came out, but if I inherited that amount of money I would have told my mother even married and not living with her. Do you not share good news with your parents?
Load More Replies... I'd say MAYBE you have a conversation with the mother if she wanted the entire thing to go to charity or whatever. But that BS excuse of "sanitizing" money is an insanely obvious money grab.
Don't give it all away, even to charity. She wanted you to have it. Remember this was only a small portion of her estate, she may already have donated a large sum on her own. Funnily enough, only this week, there was news about charities being told to take all money donated, no matter where it came from. So, maybe it would have been rejected anyway up to that point. I do remember, years ago, following along from the infamous W.I. nude calendar, other clubs got in on the idea and one tried to donate the money from theirs to a well known London children's hospital. The hospital refused the funds because of how it had been raised.
Load More Replies... 'Religion' says you can't - but the local church will gladly accept it ... and definitely her greedy mum, who I hope she refused to give it to.
"Define 'sanitize' for me, Mom. Oh wait, if I give it to you, your very presence will make it clean, right? Uh huh. Not happening, Mommy Dearest. End of discussion." NTA.
Mom doesn't approve of aunt's profession, won't shut up about it. Aunt dies leaving large sum to neice and none to mom. There is a message there, pay attention. Keep the money and find a friend your own age.
Money is evil, give it to me. I will sanitize it....by spending it all on myself.
This sounds made up. Also, there isn’t really a dilemma here. If your mother or best friend truly advised you to turn away 700k, then they aren’t looking out for your best interests and obviously they don’t care for you. But we are to believe the mom didn’t just say “you can’t accept that money” but also said “you have to give the money to me”? And the OP doesn’t know what to do? I call BS.
If you don't believe the gambling is evil then it is unreasonable for her to demand you give up this windfall - it will significantly change the quality of the rest of your life. I don't believe she's trying to steal the money from you, however if she intends to use it to benefit the family as you say, then she IS trying to steal control of how that money is put to use. Sanitize my a*s, in that case, because how are her decisions so much more pure than yours? That's ridiculousness. For the 'tainted money' stance, only 100% donation to charity would meet the standard and that's an absurd choice. She'll get over it and if she holds a grudge that is entirely her issue, appeasing her is not worth the cost (both quality of life and emotionally) on this.
Does mummy not realize that the $1 bill in her purse has touched a strippers boobs and nuts before she paid for her Starbucks with it? Currenct is the FILTHIEST thing we touch on a regualr basis. Not because of gambling, but because it's been rubbed on privates, paid for sex, paid for d***s, been vomited on, been rubbed with bodily fluids, paid for d***s, and possibly even paid for murder. Tell mommy to sanitize ALL of HER money first, and let you worry about your money.
Your mom uses the same ideology as Rasputin having s*x with prostitutes to “cleanse” them
Oh, so it's dirty money, but not so dirty that SHE can't use it, heh? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I don't care how she wraps it up, your dearest mom wants the money for herself and is trying to guilt you into stupidly giving it up. If your aunt had wanted your mother to have any of it, she would have drawn her will accordingly. Accept the money, pay off your student debts, buy a house etc, and invest the rest. DON'T share it with family, esPEcially mom, as nothing you give her will EVER be enough. I mean, hey.
Wtf???????? What has your mother has to do with YOUR inheritance????? And why should uou “compromise” according to her wishes. This is a s****y mom
Her mother is not her best friend, she's a manipulative, jealous and greedy nightmare. I hope the daughter sees the light, takes the inheritance and lives her best life with financial security. Imagine being a "loving mother" and wanting to deny your own child financial security!
Your mom's a nut job. She's jealous of your aunt. Take ALL of the money and do whatever you want with it. You don't have to share a dime. Maybe buy a "fake" diamond bracelet (cubic zirconia) for $50 and flaunt the heck out of it. Tell mom your aunt would want you to have that.
Nope! Your mother is an opportunist who is using her ideology as a paycheck. . . or misunderstands the concept of money laundering. In any case, shut it down. If you want to be diplomatic, maybe tell her you've enlisted an [insert clergy here] to bless your good fortune thanks to her concerns, but there's nothing to worry about now.
Your mother is an unhinged master of manipulation. Boy does she have you fooled. She wants to sanitize it by spending it on what she deems worthy. I guess the bad can be cleansed but only by her. YOUR MONEY. Don't give the hypocrite a cent.
You and mum are "best friends"? Sounds more like you are trying to be the "best friend" than she is..."Sanitise" the money? With what, bleach? I don't think so, babe. Sounds like mum is trying every trick in the book to get her hooks into the money. If she does, you're cooked. You're 26 years old? Tell "mummy dearest" to f*** herself and move out. You ARE an adult in 99.9% of the world's cultures. Move in with auntie if you have to or if you can. Mum is showing you exactly who she is with all of this...listen to her.
I know some people are going to be indignant about this and, I don't know why, exactly, but that whole, my mum and I are best friends thing, makes me feel uncomfortable. Your mum is your mum. That is her role in life. Even though, like in the OP's case, she is an adult, she still needs her mum as her mum. Your friends are a different thing entirely. She is not your friend.
Load More Replies... Donate the entire sum to a reputable charity and get a tax receipt. Don't tell mum you got a tax receipt for it. Now it's "gone" and completely away from Mum's hands. Assuming she doesn't have her greedy nose stuck in you tax business too.
Take the money. Tell money you donated it all. Then use small amounts to pay off bills. Get a used car that's nice but not flashy. Pretend you got a raise at work or a bonus an buy mom something. Wait a few years a get a small home you can flip later an upgrade but deff don't tell her or let her get into your finances. Make sure those stay private.
Why? Why sneak around like this? Just be honest. Saying no is perfectly acceptable in this situation. Mom can deal.
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