Grandma Returns Granddaughter In Tears Every Visit, Parents Finally Say Enough Is Enough

Most parents will tell you that raising kids is a full-time job, and having grandparents around to help can make all the difference. But sometimes, it brings more trouble than it’s worth.

One Redditor learned that the hard way. After letting her daughter spend time with her mother-in-law, the little girl kept coming home in tears. It didn’t take long to find out why: MIL had been telling the 10-year-old that her parents didn’t love her, that her home life was unstable, and even shaming her for liking girls—all behind her parents’ backs.

So the mom finally said enough was enough and cut MIL off completely. Needless to say, grandma didn’t take it well, and the drama that followed was a lot to handle.

Read the full story below.

The woman was furious when she learned what her mother-in-law had been saying to her daughter behind her back

Middle-aged woman looking out window pensively, reflecting on family conflict and lifestyle issues involving CPS.

Image credits: Teona Swift/Pexels (not the actual photo)

So she put her foot down and decided to cut her off

Text excerpt about MIL and FIL conflict over family lifestyle and handling of child's identity with limited contact and boundaries.

Text excerpt discussing MIL and FIL criticizing family lifestyle and granddaughter’s lesbian identity amid homeschooling and polygamous home life.

Text on white background about a daughter upset after visits with MIL, describing how MIL and FIL hate family’s lifestyle.

Text message about MIL and FIL conflict involving family lifestyle and granddaughter coming out as lesbian.

Text post about cutting off MIL and FIL after granddaughter comes out as a lesbian amid family lifestyle conflicts.

Image credits: Koogar_Kitty

Why toxic mothers-in-law behave the way they do

Having a great mother-in-law is a bit like winning the lottery. A genuinely supportive one will be there for your family in ways that actually matter, someone you can lean on when things get tough. But a difficult one can make everything around you more complicated than it needs to be. 

And if you decide to have children, brace yourself—because a toxic mother-in-law may see it as an open invitation to plant herself even deeper in your world. As Shirley McPhee put it, welcoming a baby into the picture basically guarantees your in-laws will want to be part of your life in a way they never were before.

“Before you have a kid, you think about your in-laws maybe a couple of times a year (while panic-buying generic Christmas presents) then, as soon as you reproduce, or even announce that you’re pregnant, BOOM—there they are,” she said, writing for Refinery29. “And you can never get rid of them.”

In this story, that presence came with a real cost. The mother-in-law was going behind the parents’ backs, actively trying to turn a young child against her own family and change how she felt about herself. It’s a painful thing to witness in any relationship, but knowing it’s coming from a grandmother makes it especially hard to process.

Which leads to the question most people in this situation eventually find themselves asking: why would someone who supposedly loves their family cause so much damage within it?

In a piece for PureWow, Dr. Lauren Phillips, Psy.D, explains that toxic behavior rarely comes from a place of pure malice. More often, it stems from deep, unhealed wounds carried over from past relationships. 

Those wounds create insecurity, and that insecurity has to go somewhere. For some people, it comes out as anger or withdrawal. For others, it turns into a need to control the people closest to them.

That need for control tends to show up in recognizable ways. Clinical psychologist Dr. Bethany Cook, also speaking to PureWow, points out that a toxic mother-in-law will often ignore boundaries that have been clearly and repeatedly set, using it as a way to establish power within the family dynamic. 

She may constantly offer unsolicited advice, inserting herself into the couple’s relationship in ways that slowly chip away at their dynamic. Dr. Cook describes this as triangulation, where the mother-in-law positions herself at the center of the relationship to ensure her own needs are always being met.

When it comes to handling it, Dr. Cook suggests starting with honest conversations, first with your partner and then with the mother-in-law herself if that feels safe. If nothing changes, reducing contact is a reasonable and healthy response, and having your partner take the lead on enforcing boundaries often makes the biggest difference, even if it creates some tension in the short term.

That said, there are situations where no amount of conversation or boundary-setting is going to be enough. If a mother-in-law is telling a grandchild that her parents don’t love her, shaming her for who she is, and then calling CPS the moment she loses access, that goes well beyond a difficult family relationship. 

The mother in this story made a hard call, but given everything that was happening, it was difficult to argue with. Sometimes walking away entirely is the most reasonable thing you can do.

The author replied to commenters’ questions and received a lot of support

Comments discussing MIL and FIL disliking family's lifestyle and contacting CPS after granddaughter comes out as a lesbian.

Reddit user discussing polygamous and polyamorous family lifestyle and reactions from MIL and FIL after granddaughter says she is lesbian.

Comment urging therapy for daughter due to MIL and FIL conflict after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian.

Text post from Koogar_Kitty sharing struggles with psychiatric care waitlists and negative experiences with clinic staff.

Commenters discuss family conflicts and unconditional love after granddaughter comes out as lesbian amid CPS involvement.

Comment on family conflict over granddaughter coming out as lesbian, discussing MIL and FIL's reaction and CPS involvement concerns.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing MIL and FIL conflicted with family lifestyle after granddaughter comes out as lesbian.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how MIL and FIL react negatively to granddaughter being a lesbian and lifestyle issues.

Screenshot of an online comment warning about MIL and FIL hostility after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian.

Comment about MIL and FIL hating family's lifestyle and calling CPS after granddaughter came out as lesbian.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing family conflict after granddaughter reveals she’s a lesbian.

Comment expressing support for cutting off MIL and FIL who hate family’s lifestyle after granddaughter comes out as lesbian.

Not long after, she came back with an update and revealed that MIL had escalated the situation

Young woman with a tattoo looks thoughtful and concerned, reflecting on family conflict and being a lesbian.

Image credits: Polina Zimmerman/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about MIL and FIL calling CPS after granddaughter comes out as lesbian, causing family conflict and cutoff.

Text excerpt from caseworker report discussing family lifestyle, cleanliness, and therapy for daughter after CPS involvement.

Text excerpt about attending to medical concerns and genetic factors related to daughter's health issues in family lifestyle conflict.

Text excerpt about a mother contacted by CPS after granddaughter reveals she’s a lesbian amid family conflict.

Text on a plain white background stating CPS is closing the case after MIL and FIL called CPS concerning granddaughter identifying as a lesbian.

Text on a white background reading She lives more than a full day's non stop driving away.

Text describing family conflict over lifestyle and CPS involvement after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian.

Text about family conflict involving MIL and FIL and CPS after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian, causing tension.

Image credits: Koogar_Kitty

Readers wished her luck and hoped things would settle down soon

Comment expressing frustration with MIL and FIL over family lifestyle and granddaughter coming out as lesbian, mentioning cutting ties.

Screenshot of an online discussion about family control, toxic relationships, and cutting off ties with harmful relatives.

Reddit conversation about family conflict after granddaughter comes out as lesbian and in-laws call CPS over lifestyle.

Comment about MIL and FIL hating family lifestyle and contacting CPS after granddaughter comes out as lesbian, discussing cutting ties.

Screenshot of an online comment advising protection against MIL and FIL who oppose family's lifestyle after granddaughter's revelation.

Comment about MIL and FIL hatred of family lifestyle and CPS involvement after granddaughter came out as lesbian, expressing emotional distress.

Text post about cutting off family after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian and in-laws call CPS over lifestyle.

Comment discussing family conflict and CPS involvement after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian, highlighting lifestyle disputes.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing family conflict after granddaughter comes out as a lesbian and CPS involvement.

Comment discussing MIL and FIL reporting to CPS after granddaughter reveals she is a lesbian, illustrating family conflict and lifestyle issues.

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