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“Apparently I Am Not Needed”: MIL Sulks When Her Baby Shower Plans Get Rejected
When you think of suitable venues for a baby shower, what comes to mind? Perhaps someone’s house or garden, a restaurant, a park, another pretty place that gives off good vibes… How about a children’s home for kids who don’t have a family of their own? You might think that’s a somewhat insensitive and bad idea, but at least one woman would argue.
The woman we’re talking about went ahead and reserved such a venue for her daughter-in-law’s upcoming baby shower. The mom-to-be and her husband feel it’s rude and inappropriate to throw a baby celebration around a bunch of heartbroken, abandoned kids. When they politely raised the issue with the mother-in-law, she responded by exiting the family WhatsApp group.
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Image credits: Karolina Grabowska www.kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The MIL is hellbent on hosting her baby shower at a home for kids who have been removed from their adoptive families
Image credits: Timur Weber/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freestocks.org/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawaystingray9
Baby showers are moving with the times, and here’s how:
Image credits: Thgusstavo Santana/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Back in the day, baby showers followed a strict set of rules and norms. Among them: “women only,” “the parent-to-be can’t host the shower,” and “you have to open gifts in front of everyone.” But that’s changed, and (almost) anything goes in modern times.
It’s not unusual for men and women to attend a baby shower, or for the guys to have their own diaper party. Some couples opt out of any and all celebrations altogether.
When it comes to who hosts the baby shower, experts say that’s entirely up to the expectant parent(s). A Babylist survey revealed that 91% of moms-to-be were involved in planning their baby shower to some degree. A quarter of them said they hosted their own baby shower with no other help.
“I love planning things like this,” said one respondent. “And then I have a little more control over what we’re eating and doing, which is nice considering I have zero control over my mind and body while pregnant, honestly.”
“I needed things for the new baby and no one offered to host,” said another.
Babylist’s team advises that if you are planning to host your own shower, don’t forget to let your loved ones know in case they’re planning a surprise one.
And what about the location? What is deemed appropriate nowadays?
“While baby showers have traditionally been held at locations like community centers, parks and people’s homes, Millennials and Gen Z parents-to-be are focusing more on how the location fits whatever vibe or theme they want for their baby shower,” reveals Babylist.
Many of those surveyed said their baby shower was hosted at a local brewery or coffee shop to support the casual vibe they wanted.
In the past, it was taboo for parents-to-be to ask for money as a gift. But that’s also changed… Modern experts believe it’s totally okay to ask guests to contribute to a cash fund.
“You can even use cash funds to request contributions to a diaper fund, childcare fund, college fund or something similar,” suggests the Babylist site.
“When you send shower invites, let your guests know then,” it adds. “Maybe word it something like: ‘We don’t need a whole lot. If you want to buy a gift, please contribute to this fund. It’s the only thing we need, thank you.'”
“Overgrown toddler”: Many people advised the woman to simply do nothing
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Multa Nocte 1 month ago
I don't know if this is in the US, but most (all?) US agencies have strict policies about confidentiality and allowing outsiders access to interact with children such as these. I have a difficult time believing the MIL had this pre-arranged at work. Speaking as a clinical psychologist who spent many years working with children in situations such as this, this just isn't allowed to occur. Either the agency is setting itself up for some pretty serious HIPAA violations (that cost a lot of money in fines), the MIL hasn't actually brought this up with their agency director (who ought to shut stuff like this down immediately so as to avoid a very expensive HIPAA citation), or the story is fake.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
"Look at me bringing joy to these underprivileged kids with no family by throwing a party celebrating my new grandchild". I'd have been outright rude in shutting that down. Let grandma sulk - the thing with these people is that they can't stay uninvolved so sooner or later she will have to concede that if she wants any part of this day or child, she is going to have to drop the sulk.
Littlemiss 1 month ago
Bye Felicia! Good grief talk about main character syndrome. Let's celebrate a birth around kids who have crud homes.. Mil needs to sod off.
V 1 month ago
We made the mistake of letting my family throw me and my now husband and engagement party when we went overseas to visit them not long after we got engaged. One aunty got us an e voucher for a shop in the country we live in, the rest got us physical gifts we then had to pack to take home. Sometimes the best gift you can get something is nothing. 0/10 recommendation for out of town parties.
Load More Replies... Multa Nocte 1 month ago
I don't know if this is in the US, but most (all?) US agencies have strict policies about confidentiality and allowing outsiders access to interact with children such as these. I have a difficult time believing the MIL had this pre-arranged at work. Speaking as a clinical psychologist who spent many years working with children in situations such as this, this just isn't allowed to occur. Either the agency is setting itself up for some pretty serious HIPAA violations (that cost a lot of money in fines), the MIL hasn't actually brought this up with their agency director (who ought to shut stuff like this down immediately so as to avoid a very expensive HIPAA citation), or the story is fake.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
"Look at me bringing joy to these underprivileged kids with no family by throwing a party celebrating my new grandchild". I'd have been outright rude in shutting that down. Let grandma sulk - the thing with these people is that they can't stay uninvolved so sooner or later she will have to concede that if she wants any part of this day or child, she is going to have to drop the sulk.
Littlemiss 1 month ago
Bye Felicia! Good grief talk about main character syndrome. Let's celebrate a birth around kids who have crud homes.. Mil needs to sod off.
V 1 month ago
We made the mistake of letting my family throw me and my now husband and engagement party when we went overseas to visit them not long after we got engaged. One aunty got us an e voucher for a shop in the country we live in, the rest got us physical gifts we then had to pack to take home. Sometimes the best gift you can get something is nothing. 0/10 recommendation for out of town parties.
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