MIL Insists 5YO Change His B-Day Cake As She Doesn’t Like Chocolate, Is Stunned When He Refuses
Interview With ExpertPeople often say, “Teach them young”, and it makes sense, because the things we pick up during childhood remain with us forever. For instance, coming from a family of farmers, I will always remember how my parents taught me never to waste food, so I quietly ate my greens even when I hated them.
Even the Reddit user Western_Bag362 was trying to teach her son not to act entitled, so he stood up for his cake choice when his grandma didn’t like it. But the woman found it rude and refused to attend his birthday!
More info: Reddit
Kids will always remember the good, the bad, and the ugly things that they were taught during their childhood
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster agreed when her 5-year-old said he wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate icing for his birthday, but grandma didn’t like it and said he should get a different one
Image credits: Western_Bag362
Image credits: Darko Trajković / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The kid replied that it was his birthday and she didn’t get a say, which the poster had said to him when he complained about the cake at someone’s birthday
Image credits: Western_Bag362
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Grandma didn’t like it and insulted the poster, who replied she won’t be invited to the party with that attitude, so the lady told her son about this “rude” behavior
Image credits: Western_Bag362
The woman then threatened that unless the kid writes her a sorry note, she won’t give him a gift or come to the party, but the poster said that it was all on her
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) tells us how her mother-in-law conflicted with her parenting style all over a chocolate cake! The poster’s 5-year-old son’s birthday was coming up and she let him choose the cake of his choice, a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. But her mother-in-law, aka, the grandma, didn’t like it and said that he should get something that everyone likes.
To this, the little guy replied, “It’s not your birthday so you don’t get a say”, and this was not something out of the blue, because when he had complained about not liking a cake at someone’s birthday party, OP had said this to him. She had explained how the cake gets to be chosen by the one whose special day it is, but grandma was shocked by this.
She lashed out against the poster and even called the kid a “spoiled brat”, so OP told her that she wouldn’t be invited to the party with that attitude. Well, the entitled granny went and complained to her son about how “rude” the two were to her, so he said that he’d buy her the cake of her choice.
However, OP explained the whole situation to him, and as the couple have been teaching their son how not to act entitled and that not everything was about him, the man understood that the poster was right. Despite all the drama, granny didn’t come to her senses because she felt she was in the right.
In fact, she stated that she would not attend the child’s birthday party and wouldn’t give him a present if he didn’t give her a “sorry note”. Well, the poster told her that it was all on her, but oh, the poor child, he must’ve felt so torn in this adult conflict!
When the poster vented online, folks immediately sided with her and stated that she had done nothing wrong, but it really was the stuck-up grandma’s fault. They even went on to state that the grandma was acting like a 5-year-old, while the child sounded pretty mature for standing up for his choice.
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To get expert insights, Bored Panda reached out to Muskan Sharma—who has previous experience working as a counselor—for an interview. She mentioned that letting a child choose something as simple as their birthday cake gives them a sense of control and independence.
“It shows them that their opinions matter, which builds confidence and decision-making power. Of course, they still need guidance, but these small choices help them grow and learn how to make decisions,” she added.
When we asked her about the importance of teaching kids to not act entitled, she informed us that it is key to helping them grow into responsible, grounded adults. Muskan also stressed that when children learn that things don’t always come easy and that gratitude matters, they become more understanding and compassionate.
That’s how any parent would want their child to be, right? So, there was a good intention in what the poster was teaching her son, and it’s just unfortunate that the grandma wasn’t able to comprehend this simple thing. In fact, she acted the exact opposite by trying to control the kid’s birthday and make everything about her.
Muskan claimed, “When grandparents are too controlling, it can confuse the child about the authoritative figure, especially if it clashes with the parents’ rules. The child might feel unsure of who to listen to, which can affect their confidence. On the flip side, when grandparents are supportive without overstepping, they can be a wonderful source of love and stability.”
If only the grandma was more understanding of the situation, she would be able to see that her actions had a direct impact on the little one. On top of all the drama she created, the woman also threatened that she wasn’t going to attend the kid’s birthday party, and honestly, it sounds cruel to take the adult conflict out on him. After all, it was not his fault at all, because he was just practicing what he learned.
Muskan also emphasized that if a grandparent misses a birthday because of an issue with the parents, the child might feel really disappointed or think it’s their fault. She also expressed how it can hurt their feelings and cause tension in the family. Lastly, she advised that it’s very important for adults to keep their conflicts away from the kids.
What did you think of the story? Let us know in the comments below!
Folks online applauded the mom for teaching the right values to the kid and they didn’t hesitate to call out the grandma’s entitled behavior
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One less grumpy old coot at the birthday and more choc cake to go around. I think that's a Won-It-All situation.
Let's just say that, when you have an a-hole adult in your life who gets to have the kind of cake that THEY want on the KID's birthday, it can lead to an awful lot of resentment, unhappiness, anger, and sometimes, the kid still remembers it 30+ years later. Yes, I experienced this many times :p I cannot even fathom what went through MIL's mind that she thought she had ANY right to demand a certain cake type on her GRANDSON's birthday (barring allergies/gluten issues.) And I want to whap OP's husband on the back of the head just for SUGGESTING that MIL would get "her own" cake. MIL is a grown adult who can buy a cake any time she wants to! I know these things because I am an adult too! We can just buy a cake ANY TIME! No one makes you prove it's your birthday! What kind of horrid adult wants to take ANY iota of joy and happiness away from a 5-year-old on his birthday?
What kind of Grandma wouldn't want their grandchild to be able to have their favorite cake or their birthday?! Most grandparents love their grandchildren and actually go overboard in spoiling them. This poor kid has a Grandma that thinks he's a spoiled brat to want to pick out the flavor of cake for HIS birthday party.
Load More Replies...MIL going to really sulk about a cake flavour? Why not bring one she does like? She can literally eat cake every day. Stupid bint.
My son gets to choose his cake on his birthday. We have had all sorts of very different cakes. The last one being a London Underground train cake. It helps that the mum of one of his classmates is baker.
Grandma is a hypocrite. SHE WANTS AN APOLOGY?! She threw a tantrum like a spoiled toddler including whining about the cake flavor and calling the DIL and her Grandson names when called out for acting entitled. Who owes who an apology for that kind of behavior? Grandma owes the apology to DIL and her Grandson. Why should a 5 yr old have to call out an adult for their behavior? Shouldn't they know better than that? Of course this is typical Boomer behavior towards anyone younger than them though " I am right, you are wrong" and " respect your elders". Sorry Boomer but you age has nothing to do with this. You acted like a toddler. The entitled attitude is inappropriate . It's NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY! You don't like the cake? DON'T EAT IT! Nobody should get her a separate cake either. I can only imagine what her poor son had to put up with as a child. Good on the parents for teaching their kid that the world doesn't revolve around them. We have waay too many entitled people in this world these days. Also it's Grandma's loss if she doesn't come to the birthday. Actually until SHE apologized for the tantrum,the calling you a b**ch and your kid a spoiled brat and her entitled attitude and wrote a sorry note to YOU, I would allow her to come back to your house at all. She is setting a bad example for your child. I would tell her that too
What did I just read??? It's not like the child wants a soy sauce flavored cake. Don't like chocolate? Just don't eat it.
I love the letter from WhizButterBoy. Spot on. And, Gramma... tsk! tsk! Shame on you. Because of your boorish behaviour, stay in your room; especially, during your grandson's birthday party.
I think OP should add the line about naughty children not being allowed to go to parties.
Load More Replies...Is there a Parent Gaslighting class that I don't know about? It seems like a lot of grandparents (or just older folks, in general) are either attempting mastering gaslighting or they're genuinely that delusional. All too often these stories involve the older person demanding apologies, resepct, etc. after they are so clearly the person who was the àsshole the entire time.
The nice ones don't end up on reddit. My fave tale of two grandmothers: one was all over her young grandson, insisting on hugs and kisses. When the other grandmother travelled a long distance to see him, she was greeted by "I don't like you!" She nicely told her grandson, "That's okay, I don't like you either." No apologies needed and they got on fine. She was pretty good with little kids.
Load More Replies...Mum used to always cook the birthday person's favourite meal. We all groaned for Dad's (except SIL) because it was a boring stew not the tasty ones lol We all ate it tho!!!!
I also do not like chocolate cake, but I would never demand a change to someone else's choice. At a party there is always going to be a different option.
- "you are not welcomed to the party" - "well in that case i am not coming or giving gifts if i dont get apology" - yep, MIL is a ungratefulll entitled spoiled brat-witch... not the 5 years old who teached her a basic lesson
MIL called the kid a spoiled brat, has she looked in the mirror recently?
My partners son doesn’t like fresh cream cakes, guess what we don’t have on his birthday? Equally my daughter DOES like ‘em, on her birthday we had a fresh cream cake. This only applied to the ‘official’ birthday cake, there were other options available, who wants just cake? Jelly and ice cream is always an option! As for adults who think they get a say, well they can just jog on, it’s a children’s birthday party, it’s for the children, don’t like it? Don’t come. We’ll be enjoying ourselves and focussing on what’s important.
Oh and she refuses get gima gift unless he writes her an apology note. From a 5 yo seriously you old bat???
Grandma needs to look in the mirror when she calls somebody a b***h. And yes the kid gets to pick his cake and snacks and if somebody doesn't like it they can pass on it. I don't like chocolate cake and chocolate frosting myself because they are way 2 sweet and I've never been much of a chocolate eater except for p-nut M&M's. When my kids were old enough to decide what they wanted I took them to the grocery store to pick their cakes and Walmart for the snacks, decorations and paper products for the party
Dear Grandma, I'M SORRY that we had a much better time at my birthday party without you. Signed, all of us.
I have Crohn's disease, and as such there are a lot of things I can't eat, gluten being one of them. I don't expect other people to cater to my needs on their birthday, but for my birthday I will absolutely get a gluten free cake for myself!!
here's mil's sorry note "sorry, but you're uninvited from all of my future birthday parties and life events because you're a massive b***h" there, done easy.
So momma's boy immediately jumped to defend his mother who disrespected his family including calling his wife a b***h & son a spoiled brat? Also failed to shut her down for that & demand she apologized for her rude remarks over a birthday cake when it's not even her birthday. OP married a spineless POS who can't even stand up for his own family against monster-in-law.
Did you read the part where he realized he was wrong when the situation was explained to him, and now fully supports his wife?
Load More Replies...Good for OP for sticking to her guns. Her son will probably forget that his grandmother wasn't at the party and didn't have a gift but not having the desired cake(especially with the nackground), that will come up at his 30th! I have food allergies and if the chosen birthday cake is something I can't have, I politely refuse and enjoy the rest of the party.
"MIL called me a b---h". I'd have told her to leave and don't even think about coming back until she apologizes.
This was the rule my family went by. My little sister loves cherry chip cake and I hate it. That means I picked what I liked on my birthday and just ate ice cream on hers. It's not like I was forced to eat it. More for those who like it was the general opinion
I will never forget the one birthday where my mum made cream parfaitarolls (a desert I passionately hate). I was terribly upset, especially when all my other siblings love them. I felt so hurt and forgotten about, that my mum made something I hated for my birthday, after years of me gushing about my favourite chocolate cake that she had made for my previous 10 birthdays. It still hurts 20 years later and I don't think I'll ever forget.
When it's Grandma's birthday, grandma can choose her own cake. I always ask my granddaughters what kind of cake they want and they are 17 and 19 years old! It's one day a year, granny needs to grow up and get over herself.
It wouldn't at all surprise me if the Monster-in-law showed up at OP'S son's birthday party with a gift, and STILL expecting an apology. Anything to salvage her enormous vanity. If that should happen, I certainly hope that the following will also happen: OP, upon seeing who's at the door, opens it just enough to converse, but not enough for Monster-in-law to enter. OP (coldly) What do YOU want? MIL: I came to see my grandson! OP: Oh, you mean the "spoiled brat"? He's not available. MIL: I'm not leaving until I see my grandson! OP: Let's see what the police think about that. (Starts dialing) You might want to leave before they arrive. MIL: Well, I never! OP: And until my son and I receive a genuine apology, don't bother coming back. MIL: Says who?! OP: Says the mother, aka the BÌTCH! (Slams door in MIL'S face)
One less grumpy old coot at the birthday and more choc cake to go around. I think that's a Won-It-All situation.
Let's just say that, when you have an a-hole adult in your life who gets to have the kind of cake that THEY want on the KID's birthday, it can lead to an awful lot of resentment, unhappiness, anger, and sometimes, the kid still remembers it 30+ years later. Yes, I experienced this many times :p I cannot even fathom what went through MIL's mind that she thought she had ANY right to demand a certain cake type on her GRANDSON's birthday (barring allergies/gluten issues.) And I want to whap OP's husband on the back of the head just for SUGGESTING that MIL would get "her own" cake. MIL is a grown adult who can buy a cake any time she wants to! I know these things because I am an adult too! We can just buy a cake ANY TIME! No one makes you prove it's your birthday! What kind of horrid adult wants to take ANY iota of joy and happiness away from a 5-year-old on his birthday?
What kind of Grandma wouldn't want their grandchild to be able to have their favorite cake or their birthday?! Most grandparents love their grandchildren and actually go overboard in spoiling them. This poor kid has a Grandma that thinks he's a spoiled brat to want to pick out the flavor of cake for HIS birthday party.
Load More Replies...MIL going to really sulk about a cake flavour? Why not bring one she does like? She can literally eat cake every day. Stupid bint.
My son gets to choose his cake on his birthday. We have had all sorts of very different cakes. The last one being a London Underground train cake. It helps that the mum of one of his classmates is baker.
Grandma is a hypocrite. SHE WANTS AN APOLOGY?! She threw a tantrum like a spoiled toddler including whining about the cake flavor and calling the DIL and her Grandson names when called out for acting entitled. Who owes who an apology for that kind of behavior? Grandma owes the apology to DIL and her Grandson. Why should a 5 yr old have to call out an adult for their behavior? Shouldn't they know better than that? Of course this is typical Boomer behavior towards anyone younger than them though " I am right, you are wrong" and " respect your elders". Sorry Boomer but you age has nothing to do with this. You acted like a toddler. The entitled attitude is inappropriate . It's NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY! You don't like the cake? DON'T EAT IT! Nobody should get her a separate cake either. I can only imagine what her poor son had to put up with as a child. Good on the parents for teaching their kid that the world doesn't revolve around them. We have waay too many entitled people in this world these days. Also it's Grandma's loss if she doesn't come to the birthday. Actually until SHE apologized for the tantrum,the calling you a b**ch and your kid a spoiled brat and her entitled attitude and wrote a sorry note to YOU, I would allow her to come back to your house at all. She is setting a bad example for your child. I would tell her that too
What did I just read??? It's not like the child wants a soy sauce flavored cake. Don't like chocolate? Just don't eat it.
I love the letter from WhizButterBoy. Spot on. And, Gramma... tsk! tsk! Shame on you. Because of your boorish behaviour, stay in your room; especially, during your grandson's birthday party.
I think OP should add the line about naughty children not being allowed to go to parties.
Load More Replies...Is there a Parent Gaslighting class that I don't know about? It seems like a lot of grandparents (or just older folks, in general) are either attempting mastering gaslighting or they're genuinely that delusional. All too often these stories involve the older person demanding apologies, resepct, etc. after they are so clearly the person who was the àsshole the entire time.
The nice ones don't end up on reddit. My fave tale of two grandmothers: one was all over her young grandson, insisting on hugs and kisses. When the other grandmother travelled a long distance to see him, she was greeted by "I don't like you!" She nicely told her grandson, "That's okay, I don't like you either." No apologies needed and they got on fine. She was pretty good with little kids.
Load More Replies...Mum used to always cook the birthday person's favourite meal. We all groaned for Dad's (except SIL) because it was a boring stew not the tasty ones lol We all ate it tho!!!!
I also do not like chocolate cake, but I would never demand a change to someone else's choice. At a party there is always going to be a different option.
- "you are not welcomed to the party" - "well in that case i am not coming or giving gifts if i dont get apology" - yep, MIL is a ungratefulll entitled spoiled brat-witch... not the 5 years old who teached her a basic lesson
MIL called the kid a spoiled brat, has she looked in the mirror recently?
My partners son doesn’t like fresh cream cakes, guess what we don’t have on his birthday? Equally my daughter DOES like ‘em, on her birthday we had a fresh cream cake. This only applied to the ‘official’ birthday cake, there were other options available, who wants just cake? Jelly and ice cream is always an option! As for adults who think they get a say, well they can just jog on, it’s a children’s birthday party, it’s for the children, don’t like it? Don’t come. We’ll be enjoying ourselves and focussing on what’s important.
Oh and she refuses get gima gift unless he writes her an apology note. From a 5 yo seriously you old bat???
Grandma needs to look in the mirror when she calls somebody a b***h. And yes the kid gets to pick his cake and snacks and if somebody doesn't like it they can pass on it. I don't like chocolate cake and chocolate frosting myself because they are way 2 sweet and I've never been much of a chocolate eater except for p-nut M&M's. When my kids were old enough to decide what they wanted I took them to the grocery store to pick their cakes and Walmart for the snacks, decorations and paper products for the party
Dear Grandma, I'M SORRY that we had a much better time at my birthday party without you. Signed, all of us.
I have Crohn's disease, and as such there are a lot of things I can't eat, gluten being one of them. I don't expect other people to cater to my needs on their birthday, but for my birthday I will absolutely get a gluten free cake for myself!!
here's mil's sorry note "sorry, but you're uninvited from all of my future birthday parties and life events because you're a massive b***h" there, done easy.
So momma's boy immediately jumped to defend his mother who disrespected his family including calling his wife a b***h & son a spoiled brat? Also failed to shut her down for that & demand she apologized for her rude remarks over a birthday cake when it's not even her birthday. OP married a spineless POS who can't even stand up for his own family against monster-in-law.
Did you read the part where he realized he was wrong when the situation was explained to him, and now fully supports his wife?
Load More Replies...Good for OP for sticking to her guns. Her son will probably forget that his grandmother wasn't at the party and didn't have a gift but not having the desired cake(especially with the nackground), that will come up at his 30th! I have food allergies and if the chosen birthday cake is something I can't have, I politely refuse and enjoy the rest of the party.
"MIL called me a b---h". I'd have told her to leave and don't even think about coming back until she apologizes.
This was the rule my family went by. My little sister loves cherry chip cake and I hate it. That means I picked what I liked on my birthday and just ate ice cream on hers. It's not like I was forced to eat it. More for those who like it was the general opinion
I will never forget the one birthday where my mum made cream parfaitarolls (a desert I passionately hate). I was terribly upset, especially when all my other siblings love them. I felt so hurt and forgotten about, that my mum made something I hated for my birthday, after years of me gushing about my favourite chocolate cake that she had made for my previous 10 birthdays. It still hurts 20 years later and I don't think I'll ever forget.
When it's Grandma's birthday, grandma can choose her own cake. I always ask my granddaughters what kind of cake they want and they are 17 and 19 years old! It's one day a year, granny needs to grow up and get over herself.
It wouldn't at all surprise me if the Monster-in-law showed up at OP'S son's birthday party with a gift, and STILL expecting an apology. Anything to salvage her enormous vanity. If that should happen, I certainly hope that the following will also happen: OP, upon seeing who's at the door, opens it just enough to converse, but not enough for Monster-in-law to enter. OP (coldly) What do YOU want? MIL: I came to see my grandson! OP: Oh, you mean the "spoiled brat"? He's not available. MIL: I'm not leaving until I see my grandson! OP: Let's see what the police think about that. (Starts dialing) You might want to leave before they arrive. MIL: Well, I never! OP: And until my son and I receive a genuine apology, don't bother coming back. MIL: Says who?! OP: Says the mother, aka the BÌTCH! (Slams door in MIL'S face)


























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