Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

MIL Calls Daughter-In-Law By The Male Version Of Her Name For Years, Gets Corrected By Her Grandson
Tense conversation between a MIL and DIL sitting together on a brown leather couch indoors.

MIL Calls Daughter-In-Law By The Male Version Of Her Name For Years, Gets Corrected By Her Grandson

35

ADVERTISEMENT

Names are one of those things people can get surprisingly protective about. Forget someone’s name once and it is usually an ordinary social mistake, but when you spend years insisting that you know their name better than they do, and the situation starts looking very different.

A name is not exactly a complicated password, but repeatedly getting it wrong can turn a tiny mistake into a surprisingly persistent source of tension. That is what makes this family story more interesting than a simple case of someone having a terrible memory.

RELATED:

    Forgetting someone’s name once is a perfectly ordinary social mishap, but repeatedly “forgetting” the same person’s name is a different story

    teksomolika / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    The woman met her future in-laws while dating her husband, but her mother-in-law called her by the wrong name and immediately became upset when corrected

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Helena Lopes / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    For years, the mother-in-law continued using the wrong name until she said it in front of the woman’s five-year-old son, who correctly identified his mother

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    u/Kind-Sock457

    The mother-in-law later questioned the woman’s mother about her name, convinced everyone else had somehow been lying to her for a decade

    Names are more than convenient labels. The BBC reports that a person’s name can be closely connected to their sense of self and personal identity. That helps explain why repeatedly being called something else can feel more significant than simply hearing a harmless mistake.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Besides, there’s a difference between accidentally getting someone’s name wrong and continuing to do so after being corrected. Therefore, it’s not unreasonable that a person feels irritated and offended after frequently correcting the person who made the mistake.

    The decision to correct someone is also not always as straightforward as it sounds. In fact, Psychology Today notes that people sometimes weigh the social consequences of correcting someone who repeatedly misnames them because relationships have hierarchies, and people may tolerate something they dislike to avoid conflict.

    In some cases like this one, it’s more complicated when you’re in the same family because family disagreements rarely stay neatly confined to the two people involved. Instead, this tension can affect everyone around them, and children can feel caught between adults.

    cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    To go more in-depth, research on family triangulation has found that children can become aware of conflicts between adults and, in some circumstances, feel caught between competing sides. The issue is not that every disagreement will harm a child, but that repeatedly placing children inside adult tensions can create a burden they were never meant to manage.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    And it’s not only children that get caught in the middle, rather, the spouse caught between a partner and a parent can also occupy a complicated position. Of course, healthy family boundaries do not necessarily mean everyone has to be close. It just means understanding what each person is responsible for and where one relationship ends and another begins.

    The disagreement over a name may look trivial when isolated from everything around it. But years of repetition can give a small interaction an entirely different meaning, particularly when corrections, authority, family loyalty, and a child’s involvement become part of the same pattern.

    Research cannot determine the intentions behind one family’s behavior, but it does show why names can matter, why people may hesitate to challenge repeated misnaming, and why unresolved family tensions can eventually involve far more people than the original disagreement.

    What would you do if you were in the woman’s shoes? How would you react if a family member kept using the wrong version of your name for years? We would love to hear from you!

    ADVERTISEMENT

    In the comments, the woman shared some more additional information with netizens about the dynamics with her mother-in-law

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Overall, netizens acknowledged that to repeatedly call a person by the wrong name is one of the highest forms of disrespect

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook
    Ifeoluwa Adesina
    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Read less »
    Ifeoluwa Adesina
    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    What do you think ?
    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    1 day ago

    Make up a fake name for her and insist that is her name. Keep your boundaries and ignore her rants. If she pushes, you can say that it the name we call you behind your back to be hurtful just like you are to me Succubus!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    16 hours ago

    Can I just say the pic they used of the kid was hilarious his shocked face so so funny and perfectly picked … for once !

    JB
    Community Member
    11 hours ago

    I’ve met just two people who refused to call me by the name I went/go by. The first was a manager who used a nickname since, “Your name is too long for such a small girl” (?!) Unfortunately, as it was easier, the nickname stuck. I got revenge by telling everyone I was baffled that he constantly misspelled such a short name - he left an ‘e’ out. I still go by the nickname; it IS easier than hearing folks mangle my proper name and I decided to own it, not fight a losing battle. The second refused to call me the nickname because it’s a common male name in French (his 1st language), he insisted on calling me my proper name, which is French, the feminine version. It sounds lovely when pronounced correctly. Nowadays, I make a point of asking people, colleagues, how THEY pronounce their name. Canada has lots of immigrants who suffer stoically through coarse anglicizing. NGL I have really struggled to wrap my tongue around some of them, but it’s so worth it to see them smile.

    Load More Comments
    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    1 day ago

    Make up a fake name for her and insist that is her name. Keep your boundaries and ignore her rants. If she pushes, you can say that it the name we call you behind your back to be hurtful just like you are to me Succubus!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    16 hours ago

    Can I just say the pic they used of the kid was hilarious his shocked face so so funny and perfectly picked … for once !

    ADVERTISEMENT
    JB
    Community Member
    11 hours ago

    I’ve met just two people who refused to call me by the name I went/go by. The first was a manager who used a nickname since, “Your name is too long for such a small girl” (?!) Unfortunately, as it was easier, the nickname stuck. I got revenge by telling everyone I was baffled that he constantly misspelled such a short name - he left an ‘e’ out. I still go by the nickname; it IS easier than hearing folks mangle my proper name and I decided to own it, not fight a losing battle. The second refused to call me the nickname because it’s a common male name in French (his 1st language), he insisted on calling me my proper name, which is French, the feminine version. It sounds lovely when pronounced correctly. Nowadays, I make a point of asking people, colleagues, how THEY pronounce their name. Canada has lots of immigrants who suffer stoically through coarse anglicizing. NGL I have really struggled to wrap my tongue around some of them, but it’s so worth it to see them smile.

    Load More Comments
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT