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“I Did A 180 And Walked Right Out The Door”: 47 Things Men Wish They Had Never Seen At A Woman’s Place
If you thought women can’t be gross — think again. There’s a certain bias in society where we think men are the messy ones: stereotypes about their untidy rooms, poor hygiene, and lax attitude towards cleanliness pervade our society as much as popular culture.
But research shows that both men and women can be equally as messy. In fact, both genders agree on how urgently an untidy space needs to be cleaned and on their perceptions about how messy a room is. However, women are held to a higher standard of cleanliness — people can generally excuse an untidy man’s house, but a woman is judged for her untidy home.
That doesn’t mean that some ladies don’t treat their homes more like a pigsty than a sanctuary. In a recent online thread, one gentleman asked, “Guys, what's the most ‘nope’ thing you've seen when you went over to a woman's place for the first time?” And, unsurprisingly, fellas had plenty of stories that reeked of red flags.
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#1
Didn't quite nope out of this situation, but came close!
This was about 13 years ago, I had just moved to Los Angeles. I had made an online dating profile, and within two days of living out there, began talking to someone. We hit it off pretty quickly, and on our third date, we went to a restaurant near her apartment. She needed to drop by her place real quick to feed her dog, and use the restroom. While she's in the restroom, I'm playing with her dog, and noticing a few DVDs on her coffee table. The top one was a DVD version explaining Dianetics and the church of Scientology.
While I don't consistently practice any type of religion, I had heard enough about scientology to believe it wasn't for me. As I'm sitting there, looking at this DVD case, trying to find out how to extricate myself from the situation, she returns from the restroom. She clocks what I'm looking at and immediately says "Oh.... Don't worry, they were offering free breakfast, so I went for the breakfast, but they gave me this on my way out."
I've been happily married to this woman for the past 11 years.
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#2
I was sleeping with this girl and it was a pretty spontaneous thing so I didn't know a whole lot about her.
I walk out into the garage and I'm hit with the smell of sulfur, I ask what the smell was and she replied:
"M**h, but don't worry I only smoke it when my husband's on deployment."
Looney Toons style dust trail as I peeled outta there.
#3
She had six air fresheners in a studio apartment. At some point you're not masking a smell anymore, you're hiding a crime scene.
SnowballHatesGoogle 5 hours ago
And breathing a bunch of strange s**t...bake cookies they smell better
#4
Dishes piled high. Fish tanks almost had no water in it and fish still swimming around.
#5
A large, sealed glass jar containing blood, which when I asked, I was informed it was in fact menstrual blood. It was a **large** jar, I’d wager close to one of the 64 oz ones if I had to guess.
Obviously I asked why she collected it, her answer was ‘blood magic’ that she used for ‘witchcraft’. This was a 22 year old upper middle class white woman from San Diego.
Now, I got no issues with people who like to practice ‘witchcraft’ in the way that is, admittedly, sort of ‘trendy’ these past several years, although I do think the majority of it is new age spirituality hogwash with no actual accurate basis in any spirituality or religion (as is the case with a majority of new age).
I mean, if someone enjoys it and it happens to bring them a sense of fulfillment, go nuts, doesn’t change (in my mind) the fact it’s just a bunch of gobbledygook nothing-burger stew of different cultural beliefs taken from d**d and conquered cultures by bored whities (I say as a whitie myself) trying to feel liberated and edgy.
However a literal jar of festering, rotting, putrifying menstrual blood which had gotten to such a point it was congealing into clumpy syrup and turning black with foam yes literal foam at the top was a bit too much for me.
#6
She didnt pick up her dog’s s**t all over the floor and said she just cleans it all up at the end of the month. It was like navigating through a minefield.
#7
Started chatting someone up on Insta and eventually she invited me over to hang - place was in a terrible neighborhood and I was already getting ready to bail when she stepped out her front door and waved my car into a parking spot. Gave her a hug and she seemed really kind and excited to see me, so I figured I’d run with it. Then walked in to her livingroom which was completely empty except for a stack of wooden pallets and I was positive I was about to d*e.
She walked into her bedroom which was straight through the livingroom, so I could still see her as I slowed my pace in case I was about to be ambushed. Watched her pull her sheets down and pat the bed like she was inviting me to sit…and all the candy wrappers and trash and fast food wrappers that were revealed by the sheet being pulled down hopped around when she patted the mattress. Told her I was super sorry but I’d “made a mistake about being ready to hook up with someone so soon after my last relationship” (I hadn’t dated anyone in years) and high-tailed it back to my car.
#8
We took a shower together. Her towel was as stiff as a board. Literally crunchy. I jokingly asked when the last time she washed her towel and she said completely seriously ‘Why would I wash my towel? It only ever touches me when I’m clean?’
#9
If every conversation somehow circles back to how "crazy" all of her exes were, that's usually my cue to leave.
#10
I met a girl at a bar we both went to regularly, when I was out w my friends. We were being playful taking shots, goofing around, taking selfies, getting to know each other, etc. Went home w my friends. Next time I went to said bar, she was there. We chatted, had a nice night, got her number, started texting. We set up a time to meet at the same bar, had some drinks, went back to her place.
She had one of the photos of the two of us printed out on an 8.5x11, framed, hanging on her wall. It was the only thing hung on the wall in her entire apartment.
#11
Dated this woman 3 years ago. I was 45 at the time and she was 49. This was our 3 date in under a month. See seems very nice, well dressed, well spoken and hot. Divorced for 7 years.
We have been to my place a few times and now it was time to go to her place. Her apartment looks nice but had a odd odor. I knew right away it was mold. She said she had called her land lord. It was not awful but it was there. She went to pour me some water as the cup she gave me was filthy. So was hers. I stopped her and she was like oh I didn't notice. Went to get another and they were also dirty. When I saw her open up her cabinets all the dishes were dirty but put away. I was like hey let's call it a night. We stopped meeting and texted our parting messages.
#12
Ever see one of those nuclear b**b test videos where the faces of people watching the test start rippling and stretching back as the shockwave hits them? That's what I experienced when she opened the front door of her house.
Except it was a shockwave of the hot stench of the p**s of an ungodly amount of cats that pissed everywhere but the litter box. I gagged and almost threw up.
I couldn't wrap my head around how any human could possibly tolerate or grow immune to that genuinely horrifying stench. Even my unfathomably h***y 21 year old self didn't care how hot she was. The odor blasting out of her open front door was far too revolting to step foot inside.
So to answer the question- I didn't see a thing. Because I never got past her front door.
#13
Live. Laugh. Love. Stenciled on the wall.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 15 hours ago
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#15
We went to her bedroom and not only was the mattress on the floor, her toddler was asleep in a crib next to the mattress. It might not have been so weird if A) the child wasn’t facing the mattress, B) if she’d mentioned having a child while we were out, and C) we were out and the kid was in the crib the whole time. Had I known then what I know now, I would have called cps, but I was pretty young and didn’t know a thing about services like that.
#16
About 20 wedding photo's still hanging on the walls. Ex had been gone for about 4 years.
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 9 hours ago
Gone like in he left or gone like he died? If he passed away i think that is completely normal, i still have our wedding picture on the wall and i have no intention to take it off only because it was years ago or another woman may find it weird. If she does it is a problem for me anyway
#17
When I was 19 working as a busser a coworker asked for a ride home. When we get there she asks if I want to come in. I should preface this with she was an absolute smoke show, so I agreed without much thought. When we get inside she goes in for a kiss, and as she's moving in I see a photo directly behind her on the wall of her in a wedding photo. I stop her and point it out. To which she replies "that's my husband, but his d**k can't get hard so I get my needs filled in other ways." Granted I was a horney teenager, but I just watched my sister go through a nasty divorce with a cheating spouse so I declined the offer and left quickly.
#18
I dated a girl in college who was quirky in an endearing way. Every now and then, she would say something that came right up to the edge of racist but I always gave her the benefit of the doubt.
One weekend, she asked me to take her back home so she could get some winter clothes and pick up her PlayStation (she didn’t have a car and actually didn’t know how to drive). I got to her place and chatted with her mom while she was upstairs getting things.
I mentioned that my girlfriend had told me about being in a band and asked her mom about it. The mom was very proud and handed me a photo album full of pictures. It turns out that my girlfriend was in a Neo N**i metal band. They had a big swaztika and the number 88 on the drum and they were all dressed in World War 2 outfits. My girlfriend was the bassist and had a little Hitler mustache painted on her upper lip in all the photographs.
#19
A giant litter box full of cat s**t in the bathroom. The ammonia from the p**s almost made me pass out. The s**t was piled high.
Nope.
#20
Place reeked of cat urine and that's when she told me that she was hiding ten cats in her bathroom. What began as 4 turned into 10 because she refused to get them fixed. Who knows how many are in there now!
#21
A friend of mine said after doing the deed he need to take a dump so headed to the toilet. No toilet paper, just a rag in the corner that everyone used. D**n I will never forget that story.
#22
A friend dated a girl who kept used tampons in her wall. Like there was a hole in the wall of the house and she just put them there. No words.
MeowZedong 11 hours ago
I know someone who found bottles of pee behind their sheetrock walls. Used tampons wins.
#23
Oh man... I didn't go to her apartment to hook up with her because ew, but she let her dogs s**t all over the carpet and didn't clean it up. Like w*f.
She had good w**d, though.
Oh s**t, another time I was fooling around with a cougar after playing a show downtown. I came back to her place, her son came out his room and I f*****g knew him. Friend of a friend. I couldn't do it to him and dipped.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 15 hours ago
Again, I am disgusted by the terrible lack of care of the animals.
#24
One of her bureau drawers was filled with prescription bottles.
Other peoples' prescription bottles, that is.
StrangeOne 14 hours ago (edited)
My mom has Dream Believe Discover in 2 rooms in her tiny house. Why??????
#25
In high school I went over to a girl's house. We were spending time together but not quite dating yet, but it was that weird grey area where we clearly both had a thing for each other.
Her mom was home, chain-smoking and extremely drunk when we got there so my friend could change clothes.
I sat down on their couch while my friend got changed in her room and her mom sat down right next to me so close our legs and hips were touching. She was so close that she sat on the corner of my coat that I was still wearing.
She then proceeded to drunkenly hit on me, telling me how handsome I was, trying to ask about my s*x life and rubbing my leg. I attempted to scoot away from her, but she was on my coat so I was pinned in place and could only lean away.
Eventually my friend came out of her room and started yelling at her mom. I didn't think it could get more awkward than a 40 something year old woman hitting on a trapped 16 year old, but somehow the screaming argument between them where the daughter yelling at the mom for doing it again, and the mom arguing that the daughter wasn't dating me so it was ok make it even more awkward.
After some back and forth the mom stood up to yell at her daughter face to face and I made my getaway.
The daughter was initially going to leave with me, but the mom told her she was now in trouble for being disrespectful and had to stay home.
We didn't see each other for a week after that and she never invited me to her house again.
#26
There's a Friends where Ross goes back to some girl's place, and it was beyond messy. Nowhere to sit, hard to maneuver through the place, nothing but piles of clothes and junk.
It was like that.
#27
My now husband made me take down my collection of vintage d**d people photographs before he would spend the night.
#28
A ventriloquist dummy.
#29
Her apartment was filthy, especially the bathroom, but it was just tolerable enough for my lonely 20's something self to stick through it.
Her bed sheets didn't feel very clean to me but i was committed at this point. We did the deed and she wanted me to finish on her tummy so I obliged.
She proceeded to roll around in her bed smearing the everywhere and said she wanted to smell me in her bed tomorrow.
I almost hung out with her again.
#30
More an incident than what I saw.
Met up with a few friends at the bar. We got friendly with a group of girls that we kinda know. I got to chatting with one of them specifically and we hit it off. After closing the bar at one am, we walked back to “her” apartment. As we’re walking up to the door, Girl started quickly explaining that this is actually her mom’s place and she’s just staying there briefly for some b******t excuse reason.
Open the door, mom is sitting at the kitchen table chain smoking, wearing just a bra and shorts. I’m half in the bag and trying to process what’s happening. Girl is basically dragging me towards her bedroom trying to prevent mom from interacting with me.
I asked if I could use the bathroom real quick. It’s back through the kitchen. As I walk past her mother, the woman says nothing to me. I finish going to the bathroom and as I walk out, the mother goes “you’re the 3rd one today. Have fun”
I 180’d and went right out the door.
#31
Huge wall of confederate memorabilia. Giant flag, sabers, uniforms, rifles, the works. Her house was like a shrine to the confederacy.
#32
I went on a date with a girl I met online. She looked way worse than her photos, but I decided to hang out anyways. We grab some drinks and go back to her place, and she sits in a chair in front of her tv and starts playing Persona. There isn’t another place for me to sit. It’s then that I decided that it was a waste of a day and go home.
#33
Walked into her condo and had several different birds flying around squawking and a parrot that was saying things I couldn’t understand. The couch and curtains were full of bird c**p. I then remembered I had an early dentist appointment and was outta there.
#34
Framed pictures of Jesus everywhere. Everywhere. I’m not religious but felt like I was being watched and judged. Realized she was probably a little unhinged and not hot enough to deal with that level of insanity.
TonjaLasagne 14 hours ago
I once had a crush on a guy who I knew was religious and he had talked me into going to a Sunday service at his church with him. I really liked him and even though I’m atheist and was expecting to be struck down as soon as I crossed the threshold, I went. We stopped by his apartment later and while showing me around, I noted that he had a huge (and I’m talking 3’ x 5’ at least) painting of Jesus over his bed. Definitely not the man for me.
#35
Used tampon applicators just laying on a shelf next to the toilet. Multiple female roommates .. but you never know which one is the filthy monster.. or why they can’t have an agreement between them not to do this.
Anne Jones 7 hours ago
As a woman, I’ve never met another woman who doesn’t dispose of period products properly.
#36
Luckily haven't had too many bad experiences with this stuff, but the biggest "nope" for me was seeing that she had a huge decal of her own initials on her bedroom wall.
#37
Manhattan, years ago. First date with a really hot, funny, and intelligent woman. Felt insanely good: a total keeper. I actually had the thought that "this could be the one I marry and live with for the rest of my life."
We go back to her apartment in a gorgeous brownstone. She unlocks the door and we go in. Instant smell of ammonia from a litter box. Like, a really serious cat urine odor throughout the entire apartment. She tells me she has three cats. The rooms were really dark because she hadn't replaced burned out lightbulbs. Who the f**k lives like that? Totally aside from the cat issue, how do you function in an apartment like that when the sun goes down? Insane.
But the cat odor is what k****d it for me. One second I'm thinking marriage material. She's implying she's down for mind-bending s*x. The next second I'm making an excuse and leaving her forever. No s*x is worth that stench. Disgusting.
#38
She had some mac and cheese on the stove, from two weeks prior. S**t was petrified.
#39
Girl who lived in the same complex as me invited me over to watch a movie. I asked to use the bathroom and she hesitated on letting me go. She said her toilet was broken, so being the unhandy handyman I am I said “let me take a look”. P**p….. She had been pouring water on her p**p and toilet paper and pushing it down with a wood stumpy thing next to the toilet. The chain in her reservoir had broken so it wasn’t filling with water. Very sweet girl, but I was never going to look at her the same after that.
#40
I'm a woman, so it's kind of the opposite, but I once had the ultimate Prince Charming date. He brought me flowers, took me out, introduced me to his friend group, complimented me all evening, and literally did every single thing right.
I went home with him that night. His house was a literal sea of Fireball and Rumple Minze airplane bottles and Bojangles boxes. He had a path carved out to get to his room, but the living room was shin-deep in trash.
The bedroom was almost waist-deep. I excused myself to use the restroom, and it was so bad I basically blacked out.
I called myself an Uber home and waited outside.
#41
This wasn't a date or social situation. I was fostering kittens through the local animal shelter but needed to go out of town. I contacted the shelter and they put me in touch with another foster who agreed to take my babies for a few days. I met this woman at her house, but just handed over the carriers in her driveway. I didn't go in. if I had, I might have canceled my vacation right there.
I foster kittens a lot. I have a spare bedroom with hardwood floors that I can sterilize. The kittens never leave that room while I am fostering. They have multiple kitten-sized litter boxes (one per kitten, although they aren't picky) and they each have a food bowl. Plus plenty of toys and items to play with.
When I came back to this woman's house, she asked me in to collect the kittens. OK, maybe she just hadn't had a chance to put them in the carriers. Nope, the house was a disaster. There were kittens running EVERYWHERE. There were open cans of cat food just placed on the floor around the house Piles of p**p everywhere. She had two full-sized litter boxes in a closet that the kittens wouldn't even have been able to climb into. (She even asked me if I had tips on how to encourage the kittens to p**p in the litter box.) Her adult cat was just lying on the couch, with kittens running all over the place. She had no idea which ones were mine, and I had to hunt for them around her filthy house. I got mine out of there fast and checked them for fleas and worms.
I called the shelter and told them about her (even sent some pics I took while she wasn't looking). They said they would not let her have more kittens until some of the ones they did have got adopted. Apparently she just kept requesting more and more and the shelter kept handing them over.
#42
6 unemptied litter boxes in various places around the apt....incl 4 cats
horrible stink.
#43
Stayed over at a girls place after a few drinks the night before, first time I'd ever set foot in her place. Everything was going really well, and she offered to make me breakfast, a fry up if you will. Egg, toast, hash browns, baked beans. I gratefully accepted and offered to help but she insisted she do it alone and I was in the bathroom when she called me through so I hadn't seen her set it down. On going through to the kitchen she was sat with her back to me at the table. As I sat down she said 'I hope you don't mind, I got started without you' and she then proceeded to shovel handfuls of saucy beans into her mouth. No spoon, no fork, in fact she hadn't laid out any cutlery at all. I respectfully asked if I could have some and she said she didn't have any, then picked up a fried egg and put the whole thing in her mouth. Not like, pick it up like a cartoon cat would with a fish bone and lower it in, she actually grabbed it in a fist and scrunched it up a little before it went in there. I got a 'phone call' and left.
EDIT: Also just remembered, went back to a different girl's place a different time and her house was full of very poorly taxidermied animals. A rabbit, her latest 'work' was laid out on the kitchen table with a scalpel stuck right between its eyes as if she'd kinda finished for the day and that's just where she kept her scalpel. I waited for her to use the bathroom and bolted, genuinely fearful I might be next.
#44
One of her bedrooms was set up as a fake nursery for her expensive realistic babydolls.
She also told me that her aunt stepmom (yeah, you read that correctly) collected the dolls too.
#45
A big ole dookie still in the toilet, cigarette butts in the sink, half eaten spaghetti still on the stove all crusty, 3 cats, a crazy dog, a bearded lizard that just stared at me thru the glass, no sheets on the bed. And she was taking b*ng rips of tobacco that she emptied from half smoked butts in the ashtray.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 15 hours ago
I always feel bad for the poor animals in these stories.
#46
She opened the door and the smell immediately made it hard to breathe, it was like warm ammonia and s**t. Place had all the windows and curtains closed. I took a step inside out of politeness only to see bowls of cat food everywhere. And newspaper on almost all the surfaces. Next i started noticing cat s**t...it was everywhere. On the table, floor, kitchen counters, stovetop! It looked like it had never been cleaned up and she just put more more newspaper on top to hide it. She invited me to sit on the couch, but that also had cat food bowls, newspaper, and s**t. By now my eyes were watering and i had no choice but to leave. No idea how many cats she had.
Positive note though, soon after that she got rid of her cats and moved in with someone with way better hygiene.
#47
She would literally let her dog s**t on the kitchen floor.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 15 hours ago
Damn these are people who shouldn't be allowed to have animals.
What do you think ?
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