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48 Men Who Were So Confidently Wrong About Women’s Bodies It Almost Became Impressive
Most of us learn about the human anatomy in our early teens. Things get real awkward and uncomfortable in biology class during that time, but they’re things we have to know or else we risk embarrassing ourselves big time as adults.
Despite that, many people have knowledge gaps in human anatomy, especially when it comes to the opposite gender. Men specifically often come under fire for being hilariously wrong about how women’s bodies work. For example, in one poll of UK university students, 45% of males said they knew where the “nubis” is, completely unaware of the fact that it’s a made-up body part.
Bored Panda came across a few online threads where women were sharing the most absurd things they’ve heard men say about their bodies with their whole chests, despite being completely wrong. Here are some of the funniest and most shocking answers we found, and it seems men should really step up their female anatomy game.
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#1
That a woman’s body is “designed” to give birth therefore it’s easy. Bruh we traded in easier birth for upright walking and the birthing process is one of the biggest k**lers of women/people who give birth. Why is there so much b******t still around “d**g free/intervention free birth”? Saving your body from years of complications and/or your mental health from trauma is a perfectly fine reason to choose painkillers/medical intervention.
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#2
I’m a bloke:
A few years ago I was fairly unfit. I decided to exercise by going for a run.
And that’s when I first felt my manboobs bounce up and down:(
I finally understood after that. Sorry ladies.
Bored Retsuko 13 hours ago
You do not. Women's breasts have breast tissue that can hurt especially in certain phases of the menstrual cycle, not just fat that's annoying when it moves.
#3
During the height of the early covid toilet paper shortage, a guy I was seeing wouldn't give me toilet paper to p*e after we had s*x. He asked me, "what do you need to p**p?" He truly did not understand that women need to wipe after peeing, nor did he understand women needed to p*e after s*x.
I tried explaining how important it was to, and eventually, he relented and gave me... a f*****g paper towel. He had just gotten a 12-pack of TP that he refused to open (he lived alone).
Today, to say the least, we are not together.
#4
If a woman is 'truly' r***d, her body won't let her become pregnant. What in the seven depths....?
#5
They think once they're in you must be in an euphoric state. It don't always work that way....
#6
That he has a say in how I seek and receive medical care.
#7
i….. am just now finding out that men and women don’t have different amounts of ribs. raised in a christian cult. genuinely thought that was true until i read this post. i am constantly shocked by the amount of completely stupid things i believed.
#8
My friend was telling us a story of her male colleague who was down playing menstruation as being difficult for women etc. It turns out he thought that menstrual blood worked more like urine.
When she explained to him that it was more passive and that women didn't have control over the flow etc, he was appalled "Wait, so it just keeps flowing... You can't turn it off?"
I guess he was way more sympathetic once he understood it.
Lauren Caswell 13 hours ago
I wonder how many of them think it's like pee 🤔 Learned recently that up until a study published in Aug 2023 pads etc had only been studied with saline solution. First tested with actual human blood cells etc. How tf did it take so long to realise saline solution in no way resembles menstruation in terms of absorption. 😐
#9
That somehow body hair makes you more unhygienic (even if you bathe/shower just as much as someone who does shave or wax) but that logic never applies to men.
Space Invader 10 hours ago
I've always wondered: small hairs are a sensory organ - and a powerful one at that. Lightly stroking just above my (very hairy) lower arms is a unique and pleasurable sensation. Aren't we depriving women (and some men) of a depressing array of sensations by enticing them to shave all over? (And it's not about hygiene - washed hair is still cleaner than unwashed skin)
#10
a guy once went "eewww you've got the hairiest arms i've ever seen" i'm blonde so my arm hair is really fair, like b***h have you looked at a woman before???
Tabitha 5 hours ago
We are ALL hairy over most of our bodies. It’s just that most of it, on most of us, is very short, thin, and fine down that is not densely spaced and is pretty much the same color as our skin, so it’s hard to see unless you’re right up on it—-and even then you really have to focus to see it.
#11
I think a lot of guys overestimate how sensitive the average woman's n**ples and b**bs are.
#13
Virginity being a social concept.
liesbethblogt 10 hours ago
The only reason a guy wants a virgin is because he doesn't want the woman to know what is normal.
#14
It was some comment on an educational post that women don’t p*e out of their v**inas. The gentleman replied something to this effect, “so where do they p*e out of? It’s not like they have a third hole!”
So close, buddy. So close to the truth.
#15
The idea that you can transfer an ectopic pregnancy from the fallopian tube to the uterus instead of terminating it. Not just ridiculous, but dangerous.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 13 hours ago
And who would be suggesting this? I can hazard certain members of a political party trying to control women's bodies.
#16
That we store the dna of the first man we f**k (apparently only first) and that the kid that we will have in a future, however distant future, will have dna of the first lover and never be fully another man's.
#18
A guy once told me he was going to suck on my g-spot. He clearly had no clue what or where it is.
An ex many years ago asked me why I didn't go for prostate checkups.
#19
Apparently about half the US senate thinks women's bodies just have ways of blocking unwanted pregnancy from "legitimate r**e".
Bored Retsuko 13 hours ago
Do they apply their logic to other forms of violence? If I "legitimately" poison your food, your body will know not to digest it?
#20
That just because my stomach hurts or I’m having a bad day clearly I’m on my period. Women can be in pain or be upset/angry/etc without being on their period.
Space Invader 9 hours ago
What's worse is that apparently doctors far too often fall for that kind of thinking as well.
#21
I've had multiple men try to explain to me that an average man could beat up the strongest woman in the world. Like they genuinely believe that with no special training, they could beat the c**p out of a professional wrestler or athlete just because "men are stronger than women."
lenka 12 hours ago
Same goes for most professional athletes. There was a survey recently that faound most men beleived they could beat a female olympic runner with no or very limited training. They genuinely think sportswoman are just out there prancing around to look good and have no skill whatsoever.
#22
This was like 10 years ago and my boyfriend at the time 100% read it on Reddit, he claimed you could tell if a woman had had a v**inal org**m based on how her hips moved when she walked. Like it unlocked some sort of hip movement.
#23
A nanny of mine was convinced virgins shouldn’t used tampons because the tampon will “take their virginity”
….yea.
#24
As a response to me threatening an otherwise pretty smart (but extremely annoying) guy with a kick in the nuts:
"If you do that, I'll punch you in the b***s" (assuming they are that sensitive that it would really hurt)
I responded that they would most likely cushion the punch bc I'm 32F/G UK size.
"Periods don't hurt that much that you need to be curled up on the chair" - my classmate, after my teacher noticed me sitting weird and me saying that I'm on my period and that the position helps with the pain. I literally puke from pain on the bad days.
"You cannot faint from low blood pressure" B***h tell that to the scar on my lip I got from fainting and hitting a table with my lower lip (okay, that one isnt specifically woman's body but still).
Kate Johnson 7 hours ago
To the one who said you can't faint from low blood pressure I would say, "It's amazing you can stay conscious with such a tiny, tiny brain"
#25
Mucous plugs, colostrum, cervical effacement, placenta attatchment location, and a billion other things about pregnancy and birth.
#26
On seeing me topless for the first time: "But... they're not perky!" (Gs don't tend to be, no...)
Bonus, is he said that right after, "Wait, that's NOT a tan?" (I have a Mediterranean olive-gold complexion.)
#27
I had a guy at school once ask me how I handled my breasts leaking all the time, apparently he thought that all women started producing milk as soon as they hit puberty and was wondering how our shirts weren't ever showing wet spots or anything. I tried to explain to him that women don't produce mile until after child birth (sometimes during the pregnancy too, I produced while I was pregnant)
He just looked at me completely confused and claimed I was lying because the conversation was making me uncomfortable, declared he would ask his mother who wouldn't be embarrassed. I don't know if he ever did ask her but he never ran up to me telling me I was an idiot and I was wrong afterward, hopefully she set him straight.
#28
Women have their periods one day per month.
#29
You can't go swimming while pregnant or you'll drown the baby.
You can get the baby girl pregnant if you have unprotected s*x while late term pregnant.
You can swallow things and they'll end up in your uterus (cameras, pills, etc).
Interracial couples have a harder time conceiving because the woman views his s***m as foreign invaders.
You can get pregnant from watch too much p**n.
#30
I was in the car with a few friends when a period related ad came on the radio. It said something like “the average woman will spend X number of months on their period in their lifetime.” My guy friend sounded annoyed and was like “that’s so dumb, like that’s obviously not true why do ads exaggerate so much!”
Now Im not great at math, but I said that it sounded about right to me and he was very skeptical. So I broke it down like, “okay avg woman starts period by 12 probably and the avg period is like 4-6 days,” and he got very surprised and said “it lasts THAT long?!!” I said yes, in fact a lot of women have their period for a week, and what did he think was the average length?
This man said that he thought if a woman was really efficient, she could squeeze it all out in 1 or 2 days. He said it in a joking tone but he definitely believed it to be true. We were in our late 20s at the time.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 13 hours ago
You heard it here ladies, be more efficient with your periods.
#31
Ex husband said he knew 100% that I cheated on him because......my v****a was hot.
We were dating at the time and in hind sight it was a big ol red flag. Still married him and that fun continued until well after our divorce.
#33
If you raise your arms above your head while you're pregnant, it will make the cord strangle the baby.
#34
At the stables I was told not to show up when I was on my period because the stallions would try to mate with me.
Jeolas1 11 hours ago (edited)
HOW?!?!?!!? I mean: why! What would be the logic behind this! On a slightly similar note: My friend's great-aunt forbid her to work in the vegetable garden while on her period, because according to her, it would make the vegetables díe. Apparently, this used to be quite a popular belief in parts of rural Austria.
#35
A friend was visiting Hungary years ago. She was sitting on the ground and an older woman kept trying to get her to stand up, as she assured my friend through an interpreter that if she sat on the ground, her womb would never ripen and she would be barren for life. As my friend is a lesbian, she continued sitting on the ground.
So far, it’s worked! /s.
Kristiina Männiste 14 hours ago
Here its: "You cant sit on the ground before the first thunder storm, because you will get a bladder infection". The logic being ,that the ground is cold in winter/early spring, we usually get the first thunderstorms of the year in May, when the ground has warmed up enough to be "safe".
#36
That our breast produce milk when we start our first periods...
And the memory foam v****a.
#37
My SO actually, in all seriousness, thought that every time we have s*x, his d**k goes into my uterus.
When I heard that from him, I knew why he didn't know that that "thing" at the top/end of my v****a is my cervix.
#38
That women wear tampons as a plug that they remove once a month to drain their period blood and then put it back in.
#39
I knew a guy who thought the term "f**ked her brains out" meant that a girl had too much rough s*x and "her v****a starts falling out and you have to push it back in" he literally thought long wavy labia minora were a f*****g v**inal prolapse.
#40
I work at a glass shop and a guy once tried to warn me that lifting heavy things is bad for women because it affects the uterus.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 13 hours ago
Women should stop using their uterus to carry stuff about, use their arms instead.
#41
Girls can’t p**p. They just have heavy p*e.
From a college student who became a science teacher. He was brought up to speed regarding female anatomy and function by dorm life.
Jeolas1 10 hours ago
My motorbike instructor once said, after a very stressful, sweaty driving lesson in summerly city traffic: "Well, but at least women don't get stinky!" He was a really nice guy (in the actual sense of the word) and probably meant well. But I have noticed and do not like this idea some men have that women are somehow more pure. Like, women don't fart, don't sweat, don't p**p (although THAT I heard the first time!). I don't like this form of benevolent sexism, because it can only lead to disappointment and will then very likely result in unfairly harsh judgement of individual women who are discovered to sweat, fart, stink... after all.
#42
That women don't get diarrhea because they get periods so it's like a biological trade off.
#43
The hymen myth.
KatWitch57 7 hours ago
Believe it or not, some doctors in the 19th century used to recommend that they "manually remove" the hymen of young ladies to prepare them for the marriage bed.
#45
Lot of great answers here, boundaries and bodily autonomy are a right and not a luxury.
On a less serious note, when I was younger I thought women didn't have a urethra. I hadn't really put the thought into it but I guess I just assumed their p*e came from their uterus or something, not that I knew much about that either.
#47
That the tongue needs to be inserted during or*l.
#48
I had a 55 yrs old man (who’s had his fair share of women in his life) tell me with his full chest that period blood (uterine lining) and the blood in my veins was the same thing.
What was worse, I laughed about this on one of my USA women groups, and half of the replies were from women, arguing with me about it being the same.
That was the day I realized how truly bad the USA education system can be.
Reba 12 hours ago
Uuuh... Who's going to tell her that period blood is absolutely just blood, the same blood as in the rest of your body? The secretions during your period are made up of about 20-50% good old fashioned blood. The REST is uterine lining and mucus. But the blood is just blood, we don't have magic coochie blood.
What do you think ?
Janissary35680 13 hours ago
They have to buy job lots of them every week just to keep stocks replenished.😄
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Gavin Johnson 9 hours ago
On occasions my mind wanders to a point of no return, I find myself at the point of ‘how has our species survived this long?’. Whilst the general population of the planet is all equally as dumb as each other we seem to have our very own specialist subjects. For men there’s a blind spot on how women and their bodies function, we’ve got some educating to be done y’know?
Barking Squirrel 7 hours ago
So much evidence that it takes zero brains to procreate.
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Snow_White 7 hours ago
So this basically tells us that men lack primary school level of education. This is literally what you learn as a kid in school. They definitely teach you most of the above and you also get tests.. what in the hell of hells is going on with men not retaining any of this information?
Bored Jellyfish 33 minutes ago (edited)
None of this was part of primary school education when I was growing up. Most of this is pure ignorance that would be solved by simple education and actually inviting them (men, or women for that matter, because there’s ignorance on that side, too) to ask questions without shaming them for it.
Load More Replies...
DRinLBK 6 hours ago (edited)
Idk how, still, there are a lot of men that think their p***s is an actual "bone." While some animals actually do, human men do not.
Load More Replies... Barking Squirrel 7 hours ago (edited)
Rather than teaching s@x education, I think there should be a month dedicated to general biology of human, with another two weeks each of gender specific biology. Why this isn't the norm is beyond me.
Janissary35680 13 hours ago
They have to buy job lots of them every week just to keep stocks replenished.😄
Load More Replies... Gavin Johnson 9 hours ago
On occasions my mind wanders to a point of no return, I find myself at the point of ‘how has our species survived this long?’. Whilst the general population of the planet is all equally as dumb as each other we seem to have our very own specialist subjects. For men there’s a blind spot on how women and their bodies function, we’ve got some educating to be done y’know?
Barking Squirrel 7 hours ago
So much evidence that it takes zero brains to procreate.
Load More Replies... Snow_White 7 hours ago
So this basically tells us that men lack primary school level of education. This is literally what you learn as a kid in school. They definitely teach you most of the above and you also get tests.. what in the hell of hells is going on with men not retaining any of this information?
Bored Jellyfish 33 minutes ago (edited)
None of this was part of primary school education when I was growing up. Most of this is pure ignorance that would be solved by simple education and actually inviting them (men, or women for that matter, because there’s ignorance on that side, too) to ask questions without shaming them for it.
Load More Replies... DRinLBK 6 hours ago (edited)
Idk how, still, there are a lot of men that think their p***s is an actual "bone." While some animals actually do, human men do not.
Load More Replies... Barking Squirrel 7 hours ago (edited)
Rather than teaching s@x education, I think there should be a month dedicated to general biology of human, with another two weeks each of gender specific biology. Why this isn't the norm is beyond me.
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