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48 Embarrassing Examples Of Men Having Zero Clue How The Female Body Works
Most of us learn about the human anatomy in our early teens. Things get real awkward and uncomfortable in biology class during that time, but they’re things we have to know or else we risk embarrassing ourselves big time as adults.
Despite that, many people have knowledge gaps in human anatomy, especially when it comes to the opposite gender. Men specifically often come under fire for being hilariously wrong about how women’s bodies work. For example, in one poll of UK university students, 45% of males said they knew where the “nubis” is, completely unaware of the fact that it’s a made-up body part.
Bored Panda came across a few online threads where women were sharing the most absurd things they’ve heard men say about their bodies with their whole chests, despite being completely wrong. Here are some of the funniest and most shocking answers we found, and it seems men should really step up their female anatomy game.
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#1
That a woman’s body is “designed” to give birth therefore it’s easy. Bruh we traded in easier birth for upright walking and the birthing process is one of the biggest k**lers of women/people who give birth. Why is there so much b******t still around “d**g free/intervention free birth”? Saving your body from years of complications and/or your mental health from trauma is a perfectly fine reason to choose painkillers/medical intervention.
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#2
They think once they're in you must be in an euphoric state. It don't always work that way....
#3
That somehow body hair makes you more unhygienic (even if you bathe/shower just as much as someone who does shave or wax) but that logic never applies to men.
#4
During the height of the early covid toilet paper shortage, a guy I was seeing wouldn't give me toilet paper to p*e after we had s*x. He asked me, "what do you need to p**p?" He truly did not understand that women need to wipe after peeing, nor did he understand women needed to p*e after s*x.
I tried explaining how important it was to, and eventually, he relented and gave me... a f*****g paper towel. He had just gotten a 12-pack of TP that he refused to open (he lived alone).
Today, to say the least, we are not together.
#5
If a woman is 'truly' r***d, her body won't let her become pregnant. What in the seven depths....?
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago (edited)
Who was that Republican d*********y who said this publicly?
#6
My friend was telling us a story of her male colleague who was down playing menstruation as being difficult for women etc. It turns out he thought that menstrual blood worked more like urine.
When she explained to him that it was more passive and that women didn't have control over the flow etc, he was appalled "Wait, so it just keeps flowing... You can't turn it off?"
I guess he was way more sympathetic once he understood it.
Lauren Caswell 3 hours ago
I wonder how many of them think it's like pee 🤔 Learned recently that up until a study published in Aug 2023 pads etc had only been studied with saline solution. First tested with actual human blood cells etc. How tf did it take so long to realise saline solution in no way resembles menstruation in terms of absorption. 😐
#7
I’m a bloke:
A few years ago I was fairly unfit. I decided to exercise by going for a run.
And that’s when I first felt my manboobs bounce up and down:(
I finally understood after that. Sorry ladies.
Bored Retsuko 2 hours ago
You do not. Women's breasts have breast tissue that can hurt especially in certain phases of the menstrual cycle, not just fat that's annoying when it moves.
#8
i….. am just now finding out that men and women don’t have different amounts of ribs. raised in a christian cult. genuinely thought that was true until i read this post. i am constantly shocked by the amount of completely stupid things i believed.
#9
That he has a say in how I seek and receive medical care.
#10
That women get off on using tampons.
#12
It was some comment on an educational post that women don’t p*e out of their v**inas. The gentleman replied something to this effect, “so where do they p*e out of? It’s not like they have a third hole!”
So close, buddy. So close to the truth.
#13
A nanny of mine was convinced virgins shouldn’t used tampons because the tampon will “take their virginity”
….yea.
#15
We don’t pee out of our v**inas, fellas.
#16
Mucous plugs, colostrum, cervical effacement, placenta attatchment location, and a billion other things about pregnancy and birth.
#17
Women have their periods one day per month.
#18
a guy once went "eewww you've got the hairiest arms i've ever seen" i'm blonde so my arm hair is really fair, like b***h have you looked at a woman before???
#19
I've had multiple men try to explain to me that an average man could beat up the strongest woman in the world. Like they genuinely believe that with no special training, they could beat the c**p out of a professional wrestler or athlete just because "men are stronger than women."
lenka 1 hour ago
Same goes for most professional athletes. There was a survey recently that faound most men beleived they could beat a female olympic runner with no or very limited training. They genuinely think sportswoman are just out there prancing around to look good and have no skill whatsoever.
#20
This was like 10 years ago and my boyfriend at the time 100% read it on Reddit, he claimed you could tell if a woman had had a v**inal org**m based on how her hips moved when she walked. Like it unlocked some sort of hip movement.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
Sounds more like the man has done it wrong and caused pain in the woman.
#21
Apparently about half the US senate thinks women's bodies just have ways of blocking unwanted pregnancy from "legitimate r**e".
Bored Retsuko 2 hours ago
Do they apply their logic to other forms of violence? If I "legitimately" poison your food, your body will know not to digest it?
#22
I think a lot of guys overestimate how sensitive the average woman's n**ples and b**bs are.
#23
I had a guy at school once ask me how I handled my breasts leaking all the time, apparently he thought that all women started producing milk as soon as they hit puberty and was wondering how our shirts weren't ever showing wet spots or anything. I tried to explain to him that women don't produce mile until after child birth (sometimes during the pregnancy too, I produced while I was pregnant)
He just looked at me completely confused and claimed I was lying because the conversation was making me uncomfortable, declared he would ask his mother who wouldn't be embarrassed. I don't know if he ever did ask her but he never ran up to me telling me I was an idiot and I was wrong afterward, hopefully she set him straight.
Crystalwitch60 18 minutes ago
If my son had ever asked me that question he would have fully expected me to crack up laughing before putting his right on his thinking lmao ,I’d love to know what lads mother did 🤣
#24
As a response to me threatening an otherwise pretty smart (but extremely annoying) guy with a kick in the nuts:
"If you do that, I'll punch you in the b***s" (assuming they are that sensitive that it would really hurt)
I responded that they would most likely cushion the punch bc I'm 32F/G UK size.
"Periods don't hurt that much that you need to be curled up on the chair" - my classmate, after my teacher noticed me sitting weird and me saying that I'm on my period and that the position helps with the pain. I literally puke from pain on the bad days.
"You cannot faint from low blood pressure" B***h tell that to the scar on my lip I got from fainting and hitting a table with my lower lip (okay, that one isnt specifically woman's body but still).
Crystalwitch60 25 minutes ago
The bp one even men faint from that ,it’s a human medical thing not just a woman thing .
#25
Ex husband said he knew 100% that I cheated on him because......my v****a was hot.
We were dating at the time and in hind sight it was a big ol red flag. Still married him and that fun continued until well after our divorce.
#26
The idea that you can transfer an ectopic pregnancy from the fallopian tube to the uterus instead of terminating it. Not just ridiculous, but dangerous.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
And who would be suggesting this? I can hazard certain members of a political party trying to control women's bodies.
#27
A guy once told me he was going to suck on my g-spot. He clearly had no clue what or where it is.
An ex many years ago asked me why I didn't go for prostate checkups.
#28
That just because my stomach hurts or I’m having a bad day clearly I’m on my period. Women can be in pain or be upset/angry/etc without being on their period.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
So your not on your period? You must be pregnant then and all your hormones are acting up.
#30
On seeing me topless for the first time: "But... they're not perky!" (Gs don't tend to be, no...)
Bonus, is he said that right after, "Wait, that's NOT a tan?" (I have a Mediterranean olive-gold complexion.)
#31
If you raise your arms above your head while you're pregnant, it will make the cord strangle the baby.
#32
My SO actually, in all seriousness, thought that every time we have s*x, his d**k goes into my uterus.
When I heard that from him, I knew why he didn't know that that "thing" at the top/end of my v****a is my cervix.
#33
You can't go swimming while pregnant or you'll drown the baby.
You can get the baby girl pregnant if you have unprotected s*x while late term pregnant.
You can swallow things and they'll end up in your uterus (cameras, pills, etc).
Interracial couples have a harder time conceiving because the woman views his s***m as foreign invaders.
You can get pregnant from watch too much p**n.
#34
That we store the dna of the first man we f**k (apparently only first) and that the kid that we will have in a future, however distant future, will have dna of the first lover and never be fully another man's.
#36
Lot of great answers here, boundaries and bodily autonomy are a right and not a luxury.
On a less serious note, when I was younger I thought women didn't have a urethra. I hadn't really put the thought into it but I guess I just assumed their p*e came from their uterus or something, not that I knew much about that either.
#37
I knew a guy who thought the term "f**ked her brains out" meant that a girl had too much rough s*x and "her v****a starts falling out and you have to push it back in" he literally thought long wavy labia minora were a f*****g v**inal prolapse.
#38
At the stables I was told not to show up when I was on my period because the stallions would try to mate with me.
Jeolas1 23 minutes ago (edited)
HOW?!?!?!!? I mean: why! What would be the logic behind this! On a slightly similar note: My friend's great-aunt forbid her to work in the vegetable garden while on her period, because according to her, it would make the vegetables díe. Apparently, this used to be quite a popular belief in parts of rural Austria.
#39
I work at a glass shop and a guy once tried to warn me that lifting heavy things is bad for women because it affects the uterus.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
Women should stop using their uterus to carry stuff about, use their arms instead.
#40
Girls can’t p**p. They just have heavy p*e.
From a college student who became a science teacher. He was brought up to speed regarding female anatomy and function by dorm life.
Jeolas1 15 minutes ago
My motorbike instructor once said, after a very stressful, sweaty driving lesson in summerly city traffic: "Well, but at least women don't get stinky!" He was a really nice guy (in the actual sense of the word) and probably meant well. But I have noticed and do not like this idea some men have that women are somehow more pure. Like, women don't fart, don't sweat, don't p**p (although THAT I heard the first time!). I don't like this form of benevolent sexism, because it can only lead to disappointment and will then very likely result in unfairly harsh judgement of individual women who are discovered to sweat, fart, stink... after all.
#41
I was in the car with a few friends when a period related ad came on the radio. It said something like “the average woman will spend X number of months on their period in their lifetime.” My guy friend sounded annoyed and was like “that’s so dumb, like that’s obviously not true why do ads exaggerate so much!”
Now Im not great at math, but I said that it sounded about right to me and he was very skeptical. So I broke it down like, “okay avg woman starts period by 12 probably and the avg period is like 4-6 days,” and he got very surprised and said “it lasts THAT long?!!” I said yes, in fact a lot of women have their period for a week, and what did he think was the average length?
This man said that he thought if a woman was really efficient, she could squeeze it all out in 1 or 2 days. He said it in a joking tone but he definitely believed it to be true. We were in our late 20s at the time.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 3 hours ago
You heard it here ladies, be more efficient with your periods.
#42
A friend was visiting Hungary years ago. She was sitting on the ground and an older woman kept trying to get her to stand up, as she assured my friend through an interpreter that if she sat on the ground, her womb would never ripen and she would be barren for life. As my friend is a lesbian, she continued sitting on the ground.
So far, it’s worked! /s.
Kristiina Männiste 3 hours ago
Here its: "You cant sit on the ground before the first thunder storm, because you will get a bladder infection". The logic being ,that the ground is cold in winter/early spring, we usually get the first thunderstorms of the year in May, when the ground has warmed up enough to be "safe".
#43
That women don't get diarrhea because they get periods so it's like a biological trade off.
#44
That women wear tampons as a plug that they remove once a month to drain their period blood and then put it back in.
#47
I had a 55 yrs old man (who’s had his fair share of women in his life) tell me with his full chest that period blood (uterine lining) and the blood in my veins was the same thing.
What was worse, I laughed about this on one of my USA women groups, and half of the replies were from women, arguing with me about it being the same.
That was the day I realized how truly bad the USA education system can be.
Reba 1 hour ago
Uuuh... Who's going to tell her that period blood is absolutely just blood, the same blood as in the rest of your body? The secretions during your period are made up of about 20-50% good old fashioned blood. The REST is uterine lining and mucus. But the blood is just blood, we don't have magic coochie blood.
What do you think ?
Janissary35680 2 hours ago
They have to buy job lots of them every week just to keep stocks replenished.😄
Load More Replies... Janissary35680 2 hours ago
They have to buy job lots of them every week just to keep stocks replenished.😄
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