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Women Anonymously Ask Men Their Most Blunt Questions And Get Unfiltered Answers
There are things you just don’t ask over dinner. But online? Anything goes.
Women of Reddit took full advantage of this, dropping the spiciest, most awkward, and boldly honest questions they’d been dying to ask men. And with no names attached, they got unfiltered answers from those ready to spill the truth.
Check out some of the most eye-opening ones below, and don’t miss our conversation with love and relationship coach Jessica Elizabeth Opert on how women can build confidence in their dating lives.
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#1
I know it’s the trend to have big lips, but do you think thin lips are attractive. Thoughts on lips with filler vs naturally thin lips.
Raspberries2: I think big lips from injections look deformed.
[deleted]: Natural is ALWAYS best. Nails. Eyelashes. Bewbs. Everything.
NinjaDi**khead: Thin or big lips are both good. I prefer thin lips rather than unnatural big lips (they just move weird, and it's very noticeable despite what your surgeon told you).
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#2
If the girl makes the first move, does it turns you off or not?
actuallyanicehuman: Having a girl who owns her power is hot. Definitely [attractive].
VersedFlame: If a girl made a first move on me I'd probably be stunned for the entirety of that day and only thinking about her.
#3
If married , do you find it easy to stay faithful? If single, would you give up multiple partners for one woman forever?
Fencius: Married ten years next July. It’s not hard to stay faithful, and if anything it’s gotten easier over time. My life with my wife is too important to s***w around with.
IJourden: Married, and it’s easy to stay faithful.
If someone is struggling with it there could be a lot of reasons:
the relationship is in bad shape/lacks intimacy and validation
a pathological problem, like low self esteem, narcissism, self destructive, compulsive or risk taking behavior.
not valuing the relationship or trying to wreck it
not being in the right kind of relationship dynamic, such as being monogamous when they would prefer polyamory
But yeah… If you’re honest with yourself, honest with your partner, and in a healthy relationship with good communication, being faithful to the dynamics of the relationship is not difficult.
Women today have more freedom in dating than ever before. That doesn’t mean the challenges or lingering biases have disappeared, but if they choose to openly pursue someone, they’re unlikely to draw shocked stares. Still, research shows that just because they can, doesn’t mean they do.
A survey by Match.com found that most single men actually prefer when women take the initiative—95% are in favor of women making the first move for a kiss, 93% want them to initiate [intimacy], and 95% appreciate it when a woman asks for their number. Yet in reality, only 29% of women go for the first kiss, just 23% initiate [intimacy], and only 13% ask for a man's number.
If men are so enthusiastic, why aren’t more women stepping up? Love and relationship coach Jessica Elizabeth Opert shared her thoughts with Bored Panda:
“Both men and women in today’s dating scene are experiencing lower levels of resilience to rejection,” she explained. “Dating is seen as a high-stakes, risky business, and of course, heartbreak is a terrible experience. However, we have become so focused on that possibly distressing eventual outcome that even the first message on a dating app is treated with the same caution.”
#4
Does a girl burping, [gassiness], snorting etc really not bother you? A lot of guys say they don't but I know some who do.
Omg_a_wee_todd: Nope, I've been with my G/F for 2 years now and every morning we cut an air biscuit and fist bump the other person. However... We have a mutual understanding no heads will be forced under the covers... She doesn't have my Reddit account so I can say this, I cannot wait to propose in March!
Update!: There were a few things that came up (hence the wait), but she said yes! Also, I should clarify it's most mornings we both [gas], at least one of us, but not always both. Hope y'all find the same happiness I have.
TheeFryingDutchman: Nope. It's a sign that you are comfortable enough around me. So I always love it when a girl just let's it fly.
#5
If I thought you were hot and I wanted to approach you, what would be the best way to go about it?! I like want to meet more men, but idk how to approach them.
NinjaD**khead: When I was 14, a girl passing by raised her head and said "you are very handsome". I am 40 now, and I still remember what I was wearing, how she looked like, how her friends looked like... that's how unusual it is for us.
So yeah, be straight forward, but not too blunt, because we might think it's a joke.
Come talk to us, that's all it takes.
Fulminero: We CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT get "hints".
"Hey, I think you're attractive, wanna chat?"
DizzyNerd: Unless he’s the guy who thinks he’s gods gift to women, he likely doesn’t know someone is into him. We’re naïve and society has taught us to be somehow. So many guys I know had no idea. He may be secretly hoping but is internally f******* out and doesn’t wanna s***w it up.
Say hi. Get to know him. If it’s worth it after that, say something if he doesn’t make it obvious first.
#6
How often are unwanted public [excitement] an actual issue?
HyperWolfe: As a young teenager in school they were annoying, 99 percent of the time you aren't even turned on, like a light breeze could go past the front of your pants and it was an instant b***r, now as an adult you don't get them very often and by now you know multiple ways of hiding them. In a weird way I almost miss getting random [excitement]
candyflip93: You learn how to deal with it by aging, so not that often anymore. It used to be really funny, taking the bus and miss your station bcz you're waiting for your stiffy ti f*** off.
JosephFDawson: There are 3 kinds of elections
some are sexual.
some occur during periods of nervous tension.
and there's mysterious 3rd kind that no one really understands. It happens when your [private part] decides to take matters into its own hands. No reason b***r.
Feelings of rejection or even shame, especially for women, can persist through many stages of a relationship—particularly when intimacy comes into play. As a result, they may hold back from expressing their true feelings, avoid voicing concerns, or hesitate to communicate when [intimacy] isn’t enjoyable.
Studies show that anywhere from 15.2% to 50.4% of women aren’t satisfied with their [intimacy] lives. Only 36% have never faked an [peak], and sexual dissatisfaction is cited as a factor in 50% of divorces. In fact, women consistently report lower sexual satisfaction compared to men.
“Our society has told, and often still tells, women that our sexual pleasure and veracity are shameful,” said Opert. “This is reaffirmed by politics that directly tell us even our bodies, and the decisions we will ultimately carry the largest responsibility for, are not ours to make.”
#7
How do I tell if a guy is being genuine? Sometimes I feel like men just tell me what I want to hear in order to sleep with me and will fake literally everything including the stuff they like. I need help with figuring out what their intentions are especially if they are not being honest.
[deleted]: My suggestion is to first ask them about what things they like. Not only are you learning about their interests as I hope they are learning yours, but you are also learning how they emote when talking about something they have real feelings about.
Ditto for asking about things they dislike or hate.
I'm an autistic male and gauging genuine-ness is hard for me. And what I learn about one person never seems to translate into a general skill I can apply to others.
I've learned to deliberately invoke something I know they will be genuine about first and then compare subsequent interactions to that.
McRibEater: Watch out for guys who say all the right things. The biggest players I know are also the ones who really put it on early. Most guys who really like you are nervous to start off like you are.
RavenousIron: I'm gonna keep it a buck with you. If you are meeting most guys on dating apps, 90% of them are strictly looking to [meet someone]. They will tell you every trick in the book to get this done, and yes that means playing the genuine card. I'd suggest being up front with guys that you meet and telling them that you are looking for something more serious. That is usually a good way to see if they just want a quick f*** or actually want to put in the work.
#8
Do guys really care if a chick’s lowers are groomed/waxed? Or do you not care?
MacKelvey: I like some grooming. She doesn’t have to be completely bare but trimmed and maintained is always nice.
[deleted]: I prefer if it is, but can't reasonably demand it. Definitely appreciated though.
Peelfest2016: I keep my business pretty trimmed up. I’d appreciate the same. I don’t need fully shaved, but trimming is very appreciated. When my gf asked me why I even care what length it’s at if it doesn’t get completely smooth anyway, I told her “you know how you make me trim my mustache because if it gets too long the hairs go up your nose when we kiss? That’s why.”
[deleted]: A definite plus and turn on. The hair gets wet, sticky, rubs and pull.
#9
If you can’t finish, is it our fault?
manateewallpaper: only if you start asking mood killer questions like that right in the middle of the act.
bloodguzzlingbunny: Nope, not ever. I have been on antidepressants before that made it very difficult to [peak]. Honestly, when I am really into the person, I am just happy to be there. Not reaching the top of the hill isn't nearly as important as being with who I am traveling with.
So it’s no surprise that for many women, the safest place to ask men honest and unfiltered questions—without fear of judgment—is anonymously online.
However, avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t prevent heartbreak; it only postpones it. If we never speak up about what bothers us or share what we truly want, we end up settling for less.
And if someone rejects us, that’s not a failure—it’s just proof they weren’t the right person. After all, why invest time in someone who doesn’t care about our pleasure, interests, or needs?
“My entire coaching ethos is about empowering women to be in the driver’s seat of their romantic lives,” said Opert. With her clients, she helps them recognize that they are just as worthy of choosing as they are of being chosen. “If we have the mindset of ‘What will they like about me?’ instead of ‘What do I actually like about this person I’m on a date with?’ it places women in a powerless position.”
But you do have power. Taking control of your love life starts with how you see yourself. So next time you go on a date, try changing your perspective—focus on what you want. And if you’re struggling, consider talking to a professional. Just don’t sell yourself short.
#10
Do you guys REALLY enjoy going down on us, or do you just deal?
Ilmioaccount18piu: Do you really enjoy having a d**k in your mouth? It depends of course, but if the person giving or*l is enjoying it, the person who receives it will clearly notice.
arothmanmusic: Yes, absolutely. It’s one of my most favorite things in the world.
#11
I have a very ethnic background and while that means people may find me especially unique/attractive it does mean that I’m “hairy” nothing too crazy
but I grow a few hairs around my [private parts]- overall I have a nice chest but there is a bit of scarring from plucking/hair removal (I have ocd ha) …is that a turn off? I’m working on healing and keeping things moisturized 😭.
packersfan823: If your partner finds a couple small scars or a couple hairs revolting, the problem isn't with you, the problem is with your partner. I'm just happy to see b**[nonsense].
#12
Does eye contact actually make a difference when we're giving h*ad?
conquer69: Yes... until I remember I look like a thumb from that angle.
PatchTheLurker: There's a chance that this is just for me, but, eye contact during ANYTHING is [attractive]. Eye contact while I'm inside? (in any way, really) Fast pass to c** town. Eye contact while you [attractive] talk and all clothes still on? Fast pass to c** town. Eye contact when she tells me "you're REALLY good at Mario kart and I hate it"? You guessed it baby, c** town.
#13
Are you looking at my b***hole when you do it from behind?
dnaoriginal: If lights are on, yes, if lights are off, yes.
NotBearhound: Focusing on the whole, not the hole.
Idaho_In_Uranus: I can see it, but I’m not necessarily looking at it. I’m more focused on the jiggle of the buns and my stroke point. The b***hole is just kinda in the periphery.
#14
Do y’all get post n*t clarity work after you’ve had s*x with someone you love?
in-a-microbus: Absolutely! It's just a clarity about different things. Instead of "I've made a mistake, I regret this decision" it's more "don't forget to put three garbage bins out".
SatinWalrus: It comes and it goes, but it never stays long enough.
#15
How do we know if you like us, romantically?
RogueAlt07: We like to hang around you, actively make the choice to pursue your company, smile and look at you in groups and generally get along very well and usually they’re into you.
[deleted]: You want to know the actual secret? They will mirror you. If you smile at them they will do the same back to you. Men are very sensitive and are really in tune with the one they like, so they will be very reactive to them. Even when they try to hide it. So do let them know because they are thick as bricks and will spite their own feelings.
#16
How do you feel about s*x during period?
McRibEater: Turn off the lights, throw down a towel and get to work. One of the reason I enjoy doing it during this time is Women seem super turned on during their period.
JBounce369: I'm definitely an outlier here but I could never. Any blood, and especially not my own, makes me nauseous.
#17
What does it feel like walking with your dong between your legs ? Or how does that work...
[deleted]: You don't really notice it, but at the same time you know *somethings* there.
GrazYetti: It’s the same as your nose being within your vision. You get so used to your nose being in your peripherals that you don’t see it anymore. Same with your manhood, it’s there and flopping around but, you’re so used to it that you don’t notice it anymore.
kamakazi339: It literally ceases to be a thought unless you
A. Get it stuck to your leg (d**k/b*lls) B. Get a b*ner.
#18
What do 'blue b*lls' feel like?
IJourden: It’s kind of a dull ache with moments of sharper pain or discomfort, and if it starts to radiate it can start to feel like stomach cramps.
I would like to note however that you should never let a guy use “blue b*lls” to pressure you into s*x. If it’s really bothering him, I assure you, he is capable of taking care of it on his own. A guy putting the pressure on like that is probably a sign to eject the whole man.
[deleted]: You know, I’m 40 and I’ve never experienced this. I’ve been in plenty of situations that I feel it would have happened, by the scenarios I’ve heard described. Total mystery to me, these blue b*lls.
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