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People 49 And Over Share The Regrets They Wish Others Could Avoid
Many people enjoy boasting about having zero regrets and standing by every decision they’ve ever made. And while dwelling on the past can be harmful, is it really so bad to reflect on our lives and wish we had done just a few things differently?
Redditors over 40 have been opening up about the biggest regrets they have from their youth, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. Whether they wish they had started a skincare routine sooner or feel that they missed out on valuable time with their parents, we appreciate their honesty. Enjoy reading through and reflecting on your own choices, and be sure to upvote the replies that remind you not to make the same mistakes! Click here & follow us for more lists, facts, and stories.
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#1
Not asking older family members more questions about our family and forebears while they were still alive.
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#3
Thinking I needed a romantic partner to be happy. I stayed in an abusive marriage for so long because I couldn’t imagine doing things alone. It is infinitely better to be alone than in a bad relationship. When I choose to be in a relationship again, it will be because I’m happy and compatible with the person, not because I don’t want to be alone.
#4
Not setting firm boundaries with people. Givers have to set limits because takers have no limits.
#6
Not enjoying being single. Looking back my social interactions were centered around finding the one. I should have just enjoyed getting to know people
#7
I should've started traveling much earlier in life, while i was still young & fit. That & not taking better care of my teeth
#8
Not saving money is a big one. The younger you are simple things like a dollar a day, or 10-20 etc in an account that you don’t withdrawal from.
#10
I’m 40 and I regret spending 36 years of my life in the Mormon church. I wish I would have actually lived my life. I wish I would have had a chance to have a couple of wild years and have fun. Explore my sexuality. Make more diverse friendships. It sounds silly but my biggest one is dressing cute. I am so sad that I wasted my youth wearing knee length shorts and tshirts. I was so young and cute and I wish I could go back and wear a bikini. I also got married when I was 19. Young marriage is quietly encouraged in the Mormon church. I actually don’t regret that because I adore my husband and we have a fantastic relationship. I do regret making him join the church of course. Edited to add…it wasn’t about just dressing [attractive] and showing skin. It’s about being taught that my body wasn’t my own and that it was something dirty that needed to be hidden. My mom altering my prom dress into a matronly monstrosity. It was all the times I was miserable in the summer wearing my magic mormon underwear under my clothes.
#11
Seems so cliche but I did not wear enough sunscreen. I used to do the whole lay out with baby oil so I could get a "savage" tan. How stupid. Now my face looks like a topographic map of California. Wear sunscreen kids!
#13
Living life on other people’s terms, and not mine. Young people: it’s YOUR life. YOU are entitled to live it the way YOU want. ❤️
#14
Stretching and maintaining muscle mass. When I had kids I stopped both and it took a decade to get that back. Treat your body well. Something happens around 38 and the better shape you are in the better your 40’s and after will feel.
#16
I wish so badly that I'd connected more with my dad... he loved me so deeply and was so proud, followed all of my accomplishments and supported everything I did, always bragged aboutme. I never ignored him and we hugged and would chat when I'd come home during/soon after college, but I was just always too busy as I grew oldet... then just like that I'm woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call that he's gone. I'm blessed to have had a father like him, many don't get that, and also blessed to have had him in my first 25 years of life, many don't get that either, but I still miss him terribly and get very sad when holidays come and the whole family celebrates with my wife and 3 kids. He'd have been such a great grandpa because he was such a great dad. I miss you old man, sorry I never took the time to be closer... I love you always pops.
#17
Not realizing people who traumatized me wanted to dull/[end] my beautiful shine. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. That wasn’t the case at all.
#24
1. Save a bit of money. Yeah, enjoy it, but save some too. 2. Don’t waste time chasing girls. Those that want chasing aren’t worth it. 3. Don’t smoke. 4. Stay close to your friends, don’t drop them. 5. Listen to your parents. Respect them. They won’t be there forever. 6. Be in family pictures. Even if you look like s**t, can be arsed.
#25
Thinking you won't age. You will and it will hit you fast. Take care of younger self so older self will have a great retirment. Also, take lots of pics and make sure to have backups.
#27
The biggest thing for me is not recognizing when it’s time to quit something. Of course there’s something to be said for sticking it out, to a point, but you also have to recognize when a situation is just not right for you and move on. I stayed in certain relationships and jobs for way too long because I was too lazy or too scared to make a change. College, too…. I hate the college I graduated from, and looking back should have transferred after my first year, but was too scared or thought I couldn’t.
#28
Disrespecting my parents when I was a teenager. They really *did* know what they were talking about, I was just too much of a s**thead to see it
#29
Spending most of my 20s drunk. I don't regret all the fun, because it was great fun. But I could have had that same fun without being so wasted. I kicked it in my early 30s, don't miss it.
#30
Not getting the mental health assistance I desperately needed. I've suffered from anxiety and mild depression since my teen years. In part, it made me a recluse and a social outcast because I felt I was unable to interact properly with people and the world. Today, on meds, I am a different person. I no longer fear social interactions, and if I was aware of the results back when I was a teen, I likely would have made better decisions for myself.
#32
Wasting time. I threw away so much time. Time wasted doing nothing. Time wasted not being spent with the people that I love. Not paying attention to them and showing them my love. In the end, we don't run out of love, money, breath.... We run out of time.
#34
**Deferring too readily to the judgment of others.** I had the naive belief that other people had my best interest at heart. Speak up for yourself. Defend your own decisions. No one is out there waiting to make you a star.
#35
Not voting in anything but presidential elections. I feel like my whole generation got tricked into letting the boomers stay in control because we didn’t understand the importance of local and state level politics. Your vote can make a difference but you have to vote in ALL the elections and you have to have patience because it takes time for people to rise in politics and for policies to get enacted.
#36
Not being careful with my credit. I got my first credit card at 18 and went absolutely crazy. It’s taken me years to climb up to decent credit and even more years to get to excellent credit.
#38
Lack of skills in relation to carpentry/electrical/plumbing etc...wish I would have went to vocational school the last couple years of high school
#39
Not saving for my retirement as soon as I got a job when I was 18, started at 25. I’m 43 now, won’t retire until I’m closer to 70
#40
Not buying a property because my mother had a negative opinion about it. I would say make your own mind up, have the strength to follow your instincts. That was 30 years ago and I still feel regret every time I see the property.
#42
Wish I would have put more money away early, somewhere safe where the money grows and I don't touch.
#44
Too afraid of getting rejected. Even when a girl showed interest it typically had to be overly obvious for me to act.
#46
I had about $100,000 to my name when I was 24/25. A guy told me to invest in a new company called Netflix. I went to a Fidelity website and tried to use $50,000 of what I had, but it was so f*****g confusing I couldn't figure it out and eventually just gave up. I can't remember the exact price at the time but I remember dividing the amount I wanted to invest in half so it was probably about 2 bucks. I would have had 25,000 shares of Netflix. f***.
#47
Saving. I'm 59 now and will have to work til I croak. Why didn't I save all that bday cash.
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